{"id":49559,"date":"2018-12-10T08:00:37","date_gmt":"2018-12-10T16:00:37","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/redeeminggod.com\/?page_id=49559"},"modified":"2018-12-10T08:00:37","modified_gmt":"2018-12-10T16:00:37","slug":"ephesians_5_22-24","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/redeeminggod.com\/sermons\/ephesians\/ephesians_5_22-24\/","title":{"rendered":"The Spirit-Filled Marriage: Wives Submit (Ephesians 5:22-24)"},"content":{"rendered":"

Wives: Submit (Ephesians 5:22a)<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 How? As if to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22b)<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Why? Husband is the head (Ephesians 5:23)<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 When? In response to love (Ephesians 5:24)<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"EphesiansToday, as I prepare to share with you from Ephesians, I breathe a sigh of relief. In the past several messages, we have dealt with some difficult subjects and some very controversial issues.<\/p>\n

Previously, we\u2019ve looked at the controversial issues of being filled with the Spirit<\/a> and the divisive issue of church music<\/a>.<\/p>\n

But today, we approach a subject on which there is no confusion. Today, we want to talk about a subject on which there is no disagreement. A subject that is never controversial. Never condemning. It is a subject we all want to talk about. Even the world wants to hear more about this subject.<\/p>\n

Today, we want to talk about the \u201cho-hum-yawn\u201d issue of \u2026 female submission.<\/p>\n

Not controversial at all, right?<\/p>\n

Womanly submission. Specifically, the statement found in Ephesians 5 which says, \u201cWives, submit to your husbands.\u201d<\/p>\n

I believe I am going today where even angels fear to tread.<\/p>\n

Today, we are tacking the subject of wives submitting to their husbands. But this does not mean this message is for women only. As we will see, there is something quite significant for men in Paul\u2019s instructions to wives.<\/p>\n

Let\u2019s begin this morning by opening our Bibles to page 1. On such an issue, it\u2019s best to start at the very beginning. Genesis 1:26-27:<\/p>\n

Then God said, \u201cLet Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth. So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created them; male and female He created them.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

According to this text, God created men and women in His own image. Spiritually, they are equals. Physically and emotionally, there was just as much difference then as there is now. But the spiritual aspect is what matters, and as we learn in Genesis 1, God created men and women as equals.<\/p>\n

And notice that it is not that the man is created in the image of God and the female is also created in the image of God, but that both together<\/em> are created in the image of God. While initially the text does say that God created man <\/em>in His own image, it goes on to clarify that that God created them <\/em>in His own image. As I pointed out in my One Verse Podcast on Genesis 1:26-27<\/a>, the togetherness and relationality of humanity is a primary aspect of being created in the image of God.<\/p>\n

So they both created in the image of God, and they are both equal partners in what God tasked them to do, which is to have dominion over the earth.<\/p>\n

But notice that equal does not mean identical. They were equal, but different. They had different roles and responsibilities, but the woman was never inferior to the man.<\/p>\n

We learn in Genesis 2 more of the details of this human pair and how they were created. And there we learn that Adam was created first, and when no suitable helper was found for him among the animals, God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep, and God took a rib from Adam\u2019s side and formed it into a woman.<\/p>\n

And Adam named her Woman, because, as we read in Genesis 2:23, she was taken out of man. (She doesn\u2019t actually receive her name \u201cEve\u201d until after she sins.)<\/p>\n

The fact that Adam named her shows that from God\u2019s perspective, and from the very beginning, there was an order to things (cf. also 1 Cor 11: 3-12; 1 Tim 2:11-13). The woman was the helper. Adam was the head.<\/p>\n

Now something happens in Genesis 3 which turns all of this upside down. Adam released his position and let Eve eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, and also ate some of the fruit that she gave to him.<\/p>\n

So notice the sequence here. Man was created first, and he was to lead her in helping him do his work. But she stepped outside of her role, and became the leader when she invited Adam to join her in her sin.<\/p>\n

Again, we know what happened. God showed up, as he always seems to when we sin. The sinners hid, as we always seem to when we\u2019re caught. But God finds them and questions them, and in Genesis 3, tells them what the consequences of their sin will be.<\/p>\n

\"GenesisIt is Genesis 3:16 that concerns us today, specifically the last half of the verse, where it says, \u201cYour desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you.\u201d There are several different ideas on what this verse means, but the longer I study it and the more I think about it, I am convinced that what God is telling the first husband and wife here is that because of sin, there will always be a struggle between them for who should be the leader. See my Podcast Episode on Genesis 3:16<\/a> for more on this verse as well.<\/p>\n

Her desire is to take over the place of her husband, but he shall attempt to exert his rule. And that is what has happened throughout history. But, simply because men are physically stronger, they have been able to maintain their position of ruling over women.<\/p>\n

Often, they did this ruthlessly and thoughtlessly. They thought that might makes right, and that greater power gave them greater authority.<\/p>\n

But then a man named Jesus came along, and he began to change all of this, teaching why power was really given, and he began to radically show that women were valuable, and should be respected.<\/p>\n

And then he died, and rose again. And a Christian man by the name of Paul began to travel around and write letters to various churches, and we have instructions in his letters identical to what Jesus taught. He says in one place that in Christianity, there is no more male or female, for we are all one in Jesus Christ (Gal 3:28).<\/p>\n

Paul did not mean, of course, that there are no differences, but that with God, there were no favorites. Both men and women were spiritual equals in God\u2019s eyes. And Paul also taught that since Jesus Christ had come, the relationship between a man and a woman could go back to what it originally was meant to be before sin ever came on the scene.<\/p>\n

He over and over again calls husbands and wives to return to the relationship God had originally intended marriage to be.<\/p>\n

And the most extensive and detailed explanation of this in Paul\u2019s writings is found in Ephesians 5:22-33.<\/p>\n

In this passage Paul goes into great detail explaining the roles between a husband and a wife in marriage.<\/p>\n

Paul\u2019s main goal in this passage is to explain the different roles that men and women have in the marriage relationship. That is the big idea. The picture he uses is that of the relationship between Christ and the church.<\/p>\n

Paul weaves these ideas together throughout this whole passage. So taking our cues from Paul, if we want to straighten out the roles of the husband-wife relationship, it is not going to help us too much to talk about cultural trends and physical and psychological differences. Those don\u2019t matter to Paul, and they don\u2019t matter here.<\/p>\n

What matters is what God says in Scripture. If we tried to figure out how a man and a woman should relate to one another by looking at our culture, we would be hopelessly confused. It is like a blurry image in a mirror, or an out of focus picture.<\/p>\n

If we want a true picture of how marriage should be, we need to do what Paul does here and talk about Christ\u2019s relationship to the church.<\/p>\n

So that is what we\u2019re going to do. I\u2019m going to begin today with the woman\u2019s role, then talk about the man\u2019s role next week. After that, we will look more at the marriage relationship.<\/p>\n

So today, we focus on the woman\u2019s role.<\/p>\n

Now, I personally am grateful for Scripture as a guide on this topic. If I had to stand up here and teach you something about the role of women in marriage, and I didn\u2019t have the Bible to guide me, I would have no clue what to say! I mean, really, where would I go for information?<\/p>\n

Would I take what people\u2014mostly men\u2014have been teaching about women\u2019s role in marriage for thousands of years? Maybe Osama bin Laden and the Taliban have it right, and women should not be seen or heard, and can be brutalized by men. Or, maybe we should take the opinions of some of the enlightened people from the last half of the 20th<\/sup> century and what they have said about the feminist movement.<\/p>\n

Or again, we could take the popular reader\u2019s opinion surveys published in Glamour Magazine and Mademoiselle.<\/p>\n

Where would I go for accurate information? So how thankful we should be that God\u2014who created men and women, and created marriage, and knows everything about everything, decided to give us His thoughts on the subject.<\/p>\n

That is what we have here in Ephesians 5. God\u2019s thoughts on marriage. And today we are looking at the role of the wife. We have a command and then a detailed explanation of how, why and when the command is to be obeyed.<\/p>\n

We get the command in Ephesians 5:22.<\/p>\n

Wives: Submit to your husband (Ephesians 5:22)<\/h2>\n

Ephesians 5:22a. Wives, submit to your own husbands, <\/strong><\/p>\n

Believe it or not, Paul\u2019s position on women was actually quite liberating. Today, some women have called Paul a chauvinist. But really, he and Christ gave women dignity and value in Christianity which they did not have anywhere else at that time.<\/p>\n

Let me paint a picture for you of what the role of women was back then.<\/p>\n

\u201cThe Jews had a low view of women. In the Jewish form of morning prayer there was a sentence in which a Jewish man every morning gave thanks that God had not made him \u201ca Gentile, a slave or a woman\u2019 \u2026In Jewish law a woman was not a person, but a thing. She had no legal rights whatsoever; she was absolutely in her husband\u2019s possession to do with as he willed\u2026\u201d[1]<\/a><\/p>\n

But if you think the Jews were bad, \u201cThe position was worse in the Greek world\u2026 The whole Greek way of life made companionship between the man and the wife next to impossible. The Greek expected his wife to run his home, to care for his legitimate children, but he found his pleasure and his companionship elsewhere\u2026 In Greece, home and family life were near to being extinct, and fidelity was completely non-existent.\u201d[2]<\/a><\/p>\n

But things get even worse in Roman culture. \u201cThe degeneracy of Rome was tragic\u2026 It is not too much to say that the whole atmosphere of the ancient world was adulterous\u2026 The marriage bond was on the way to complete breakdown.\u201d[3]<\/a><\/p>\n

One historian tells us that \u201ca girl was completely under her father\u2019s [rule], a wife completely under her husband\u2019s \u2026 She was his chattel \u2026 Her life was one of legal incapacity which amounted to enslavement, while her status was described as \u2018imbecilitas\u2019 [which is where we get our word \u2018imbecile.\u2019]\u201d[4]<\/a><\/p>\n

When Paul wrote this letter, the average male\u2019s view of a woman was absolutely shocking. One writer said that women were the worst plague Zeus ever made. Another said, \u201cThe two best days in a woman\u2019s life are when someone marries her and when he carries her dead body to the grave.\u201d[5]<\/a><\/p>\n

And you thought some men were sexist today! But then Jesus and Paul came on the scene, and gave significant worth and value and dignity to women. Paul puts women on an equal level with men. Christian churches allowed women to come join them in their services, which was unheard of in any other religious setting. In passages like 1 Corinthians 7, Paul even grants to the woman various levels of authority over a man! He also teaches that if a woman has an unbelieving husband, she does not have to join him in his false religion, which was unheard of also!<\/p>\n

To make a long story short, Christianity\u2019s treatment of women was scandalous to the rest of the world because nobody had ever treated women with such dignity and value! If we are to follow this trajectory today, this means that women today should also receive great honor and dignity as well.<\/p>\n

\"wivesSo when Paul gives instructions to women on how they are to behave, he is not trying to force them into subjection, but is telling them what their boundaries are in their newfound freedom.<\/p>\n

This is seen when we remember what we learned last week about submission. Remember, submission does not mean complete subjection, subordination, subjugation. It has nothing\u2014absolutely nothing\u2014to do with inferiority. Submission does not mean allowing yourself to be a doormat for people to wipe their feet on. It does not imply being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. It does not mean that all women must be meek and mild.<\/p>\n

In fact, while I\u2019m on the subject, let me give you a few things showing what submission is not. Some people think that if a wife is submissive, she is like a slave girl, doing everything her master commands. Others think a submissive wife is a quite wife. She never questions, never gives her opinion, just obeys without a word.<\/p>\n

Sometimes, not even being allowed to think for herself is wrapped up in this. The husband makes all the decisions, and never gets her opinion. Sometimes, the wife is viewed as the doormat. She just sits around doesn\u2019t really do much of anything except receive all the garbage from other people. These are all passive forms of submission.<\/p>\n

In some marriages, the wife might be more intelligent than her husband, and so while thinking she is submitting to him, she is actually trying to manipulate him to do what she wants. She may nag him to change him. Or she assumes the role of his mother, and tries to protect her husband from all pain, and never lets him make any mistakes. Other times, there are those who retaliate by retreating and removing herself from her family emotionally and mentally. Or she tries to get even with him\u2014cooking his worst meal every night\u2014or never washes the laundry, or does the dishes. She behaves in a cold and unfriendly way. These are all kinds of a passive aggressive submission.<\/p>\n

But these are what submission is NOT.<\/p>\n

Biblical submission means seeing yourself as the servant of others even though you may be more powerful or stronger than others. It means recognizing that you are stronger, smarter, braver, and more talented than others in many ways, but taking these areas of strength to love and help others.<\/p>\n

So, wives, how does this work out in marriage?<\/p>\n

Well, you have certain characteristics and qualities and strengths which your husbands does not have. He may be physically stronger than you, but you are stronger than him in many areas.<\/p>\n

For example, women are much more in touch with their emotions than men are. They are more sensitive to the emotional needs of others.<\/p>\n

Spiritually, women tend to be stronger and more sensitive to what God is doing in the world.<\/p>\n

Women are often more creative, diligent, hard-working, and self-sacrificial than men.<\/p>\n

Women are also better when it comes to raising children. Do you think most men can raise children by themselves? Some men do a great job of raising children, but in general, women have much more ability in child-rearing.<\/p>\n

How about health related issues? In general, women know what makes a balanced diet better than men do.<\/p>\n

One of a woman\u2019s greatest strengths is her intuition. I have learned to never doubt Wendy\u2019s intuition. She is always right. The few times where I have gone against Wendy\u2019s intuition, I have regretted it. I tend to analyze something to death, but she has this intuition which is always accurate. Most women have the same ability.<\/p>\n

So women can take these strengths, and use them to help their husbands. These are not areas where women should lord their abilities and strengths over men, but rather use these strengths to serve and help and fill in our gaps; to compliment the weaknesses of their husband.<\/p>\n

I should point out that every time the Bible talks about wives submitting to their husbands, it\u2019s in the middle voice. This means that it is something that is voluntarily chosen. It could be translated, \u201cWives, submit yourselves.\u201d In other words, nobody can force you to submit. Your husband should never order you to submit.<\/p>\n

Men, never try to force your wife to submit. Never, ever, ever, quote Ephesians 5:22 at her. These are forms of spiritual abuse.<\/p>\n

If a woman decides to submit to her husband, it will always and only be due to the fact that she freely chooses to do so from a position of strength and because she feels safe and by her husband. If a woman is not being loved by her husband, she will likely not submit to him. And that\u2019s okay, as we will see in later verses. The man, as the head, must lead the way in the marriage, by self-sacrificially loving his wife. If he does not self-sacrificially love her, then she is not required to submit herself to him.<\/p>\n

So this is what Biblical submission is. It means to serve your husband voluntarily with your strengths so that together, you are stronger and more unified.<\/p>\n

Now notice that Paul limits who this kind of submission should be shown to.<\/p>\n

In Ephesians 5:21, Paul said that we should submit to one another, now here, he tells wives to submit to your own husbands.<\/strong><\/p>\n

You do not have to submit, nor should you submit to somebody else\u2019s husband. You submit to your own husband.<\/p>\n

Incidentally, and just for laughs, I think the Greek word Paul uses here is ironic. The Greek word of own<\/strong> is idiois. <\/em>It means own,<\/strong> it has no connection whatsoever with our English word idiot except that it sounds similar. I just thought it was kind of funny that Paul was telling you women to submit to your idiois <\/em>husbands.<\/p>\n

Now, don\u2019t go calling your husband an idiot. That\u2019s not submission. You\u2019re supposed to be helping him, not ridiculing him, but I just thought the word similarities here were humorous.<\/p>\n

But the fact of the matter is that sometimes, ladies, you might think your husband is not too bright. He might make some serious mistakes, and it seems like you have to tell him the same thing over and over and over and he still doesn\u2019t get it.<\/p>\n

So thank God that you don\u2019t have to submit to every husband, just your own<\/strong>. But even still this might seem hard. So Paul goes on to tell you how you can do this. Look at the end of Ephesians 5:22.<\/p>\n

How to Submit? As to the Lord (Ephesians 5:22)<\/h2>\n

Ephesians 5:22b. \u2026 as to the Lord. <\/strong><\/p>\n

When trying to submit, it might make things easier if you picture Christ when you look at your husband. When you submit to your husband, ladies, it is actually an act of obedience to the Lord.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"EphesiansPaul does not mean here that a wife should submit to her husband in the same way she submits to God, or as if her husband were God. Submission is not treating your husband as if he were Christ\u2014because ladies\u2014just in case you haven\u2019t noticed it, he isn\u2019t Christ.<\/p>\n

No, to submit to him as to the Lord, <\/strong>means that your submission to your husband is service to the Lord.[6]<\/a> It is a matter of obedience to God to submit to your husband. If a Christian woman wants to submit to God, then part of this involves submitting to her husband.<\/p>\n

Ephesians 5:23 gives us the explanation for why.<\/p>\n

Why Submit? Because the Husband is the Head<\/h2>\n

Ephesians 5:23. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. <\/strong><\/p>\n

The reason wives are to submit to their husbands is because the husband has been set up by God to be the head of the wife.<\/p>\n

As we seek to understand what this means, let us first get some misunderstandings out of the way first. Few verses in Scripture have been so abused as this one.<\/p>\n

Some have taken this verse to mean that the husband is almost literally the head of his wife. In other words, she should not be allowed to do any thinking for herself or make any decisions for herself.<\/p>\n

Since our physical heads do all the thinking and all the controlling for our bodies, some men seem to think that they must completely control their wives and do all of her thinking for her. A man like this dictates his wife and tells her how to act, where to go, and what to do, and when to do it.<\/p>\n

I once knew a pastor who treated his wife this way, and teaches this in his church. He boasts that in the 20 some years he and his wife have been married, they have never, not even once, had an argument.<\/p>\n

Now when I first heard that I found it a little hard to believe \u2026 until I noticed the way he interacted with his wife. He almost literally dictated her life. He never asked her opinion on anything, but always told her what she should believe, how she should act, where she should go, and so on. He told her what to wear and what to eat at restaurants. He told her what books to read and what TV shows to watch. He thought this was his duty as the head, and she apparently thought that she was being submissive.<\/p>\n

And sadly, this abuse and misunderstanding of this verse is what most people think of when they read it! But that is not what Paul had in mind.<\/p>\n

We can see this in a few ways. The first way is to understand what Paul means by using the term \u201chead\u201d and then we will look at the picture Paul provides in the rest of Ephesians 5:23 as further proof.<\/p>\n

So first, let\u2019s understand what he means by using the term \u201chead.\u201d<\/p>\n

The word is kephale<\/em> in Greek. It is normally translated as \u201chead\u201d but sometimes can imply source or origin, and sometimes it carries with it the sense of authority. If in this case, it means source, we are inclined to think back to Genesis 2 when God created woman from a rib taken from Adam\u2019s side.<\/p>\n

From this we could see that ultimately, woman came from man, and so man is the source or origin of woman. This understanding is attractive to some in today\u2019s society because if man being the head of the wife only means that she originally came from man, then it really carries no sense of the man having authority or responsibility over the woman.<\/p>\n

But for many, many reasons, this understanding is not valid. I have an article in my study on the issue, and the author of the article looked at all of the uses of this term kephale<\/em> in a wide range of different Greek manuscripts.<\/p>\n

He found that the word was used 2,336 times, and not one time is the word kephale<\/em> used convincingly to mean \u201csource.\u201d[7]<\/a><\/p>\n

Any of you want to become a Greek scholar? Sounds like fun, right? Well, it\u2019s probably fun for him, and I glad he did it because it helps us understand this word. Kephale<\/em> does not, cannot, and never has meant, \u201csource.\u201d<\/p>\n

Now I always hesitate to bring up such a study where some guy spent hundreds of hours studying a single word from ancient Greek manuscripts, because I fear it will make those of us who are not able to do this kind of study despair of ever understanding the Bible for ourselves.<\/p>\n

But let me show you something. You don\u2019t have to do a study like this, nor do you even have to know Greek in order to come up with the same conclusion. All you have to have is a good translation of the Bible and a mind that is willing to do some thinking by looking at the context.<\/p>\n

And we don\u2019t have to look far. In the very same verse, Paul equates the husband being head of the wife with Christ being head of the church.<\/p>\n

Look at the rest of Ephesians 5:23: \u2026 as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.<\/strong><\/p>\n

So men are heads of the wife in the same way that Christ is head of the church. That is the comparison Paul makes here. If we want to understand what a man\u2019s position is regarding headship with his wife, all we have to do is understand what Christ\u2019s position is regarding headship with the church. If we understand this, then men can imitate Christ with their wives.<\/p>\n

So how is Christ the head of the Church? The answer is that, first and foremost, Christ is the spiritual head of the church. He is the spiritual leader.<\/p>\n

Christ didn\u2019t just come to be a good man, or a good moral teacher. He didn\u2019t come to perform miracles and heal the lame and the blind and the sick. He did all of these things, but His primary goal in coming was to provide eternal life to all those who would simply believe in Him for it and then to show these believers how to follow Him on the path of discipleship.<\/p>\n

He came that we might have life, and might have it abundantly (John 10:10). He came to seek and to save those that are lost (Luke 19:10).<\/p>\n

And in fact, that is exactly what Paul says here at the end of verse 23. Christ is the Savior of the body.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The term body doesn\u2019t mean our individual, physical bodies, but means the church body. And the word \u201csaved\u201d in this context, just as everywhere else in Ephesians and the rest of Scripture, does not refer to \u201cgoing to heaven when you die,\u201d but to being rescued or delivered from the problems and difficulties of this life.<\/p>\n

Jesus is the spiritual head of the church body because He shows us how to live free from sin in this life, how to love and forgive others, how to live self-sacrificially toward others, and how to work only for the good of others. Jesus is the spiritual head of the church because Jesus is the guide and model that we are to follow.<\/p>\n

So what does this mean for us men? Just as Christ is the spiritual leader of the church, so husbands are to be the spiritual leader of their wife. A husband\u2019s position as head of the wife is primarily a spiritual position, in which we love, serve, and honor our wives with all our time, energy, commitment, and devotion. We will show her by example, how to love and forgive and work for her good.<\/p>\n

We know that this is what Paul has in mind, because he has talked elsewhere about Jesus being the head of the church. Back in Ephesians 1:22, for example, we read this: \u201cAnd He put all things under His feet, and gave Him to be head over all things to the church.\u201d Jesus Christ is the leader over all things for or to the church.<\/p>\n

And what the goal of Jesus in being the head of the church? In Ephesians 4:14-16, Paul says that Jesus is working in the church \u201cthat we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the tricky of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things in Him who is the head<\/strong>\u2014Christ\u2014from whom the whole body, joined and knit together by what every joint supplies, according to the effective working by which every part does its share, causes growth of the body for the edifying of itself in love.\u201d<\/p>\n

The goal of Jesus Christ in being the Spiritual head is that He will bring us all into spiritual maturity\u2014that we will grow up in all things.<\/p>\n

So again, in the context of the book, we see the same thing. To be the head means to be the spiritual leader, overseeing the spiritual direction and health of others, so that they can become who God made them to be.<\/p>\n

We see this exact same truth all over in Scripture.<\/p>\n

We could turn back to Genesis 1-2 where Adam was supposed to teach his wife about God\u2019s instructions and lead the two of them in working the ground, taking care of the animals, and filling the earth. Adam was not to lord his position over Eve, but was to lead the two of them in fulfilling their God-given mission upon the earth.<\/p>\n

We could also turn to passages in Exodus and Deuteronomy (Exod 12:26-27; Deut 4:9-10; 6:7) where the husband, as the head of the family, is supposed to lead his wife in learning what God wants and encouraging them to become who God wants.<\/p>\n

First Corinthians 11:3 is another helpful verse. Paul writes this: \u201cBut I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.\u201d<\/p>\n

Here we see a very vital aspect of headship. Would anybody ever say that Christ is inferior to God? Never. He is God. He is equal with God. Yet here Paul says that God is the head of Christ.<\/p>\n

So just as Christ is not inferior to God, so also, the woman is not inferior to the man. Headship in no way implies that the man is superior and the woman inferior.<\/p>\n

But Christ submits to the Father, and obeys the Father\u2014not because Christ wouldn\u2019t do fine on His own, not because He doesn\u2019t know what to do on His own, not because He is not as smart or doesn\u2019t know enough.<\/p>\n

No, in all these ways, God the Father and God the Son are equals\u2014but God is the head of Christ, and Christ is the head over the church, and over men, and men are the head of their wives.<\/p>\n

This doesn\u2019t mean that the man knows more, or is a better teacher, or is superior to the woman. It just means that these are the God-given roles.<\/p>\n

But what does this mean? How does this work? How is headship applied?<\/p>\n

Well, look at how Jesus Christ functions as the head of the church. He does not order us around, or demand that we obey and follow Him. Yes, He provides instructions and lives in a way that encourages us to follow His example. And notice that He leads by example<\/em>. He doesn\u2019t ever way, \u201cDo what I say; not what I do!\u201d No, He says to the church, \u201cDo you want to know how to live in this world? Follow my example. Do what I do.\u201d<\/p>\n

Furthermore, Jesus never requires that we become His clone; nor do we become a robot, blinding following His instructions. He never tells us to stop thinking for ourselves. He never requires us to give up our personality, desires, or interests before we follow Him.<\/p>\n

Quite to the contrary, He specifically give us special gifts, desires, and interests so that we can individually become who God made us to be. Each child of God is uniquely talented and gifted, and Jesus works with each of us to help us discover who God made us to be so that we can become this unique person.<\/p>\n

It works exactly the same way for husbands. If the husband is going to truly be the head of his wife, it does not mean that he gets to rule over her, tell her what to do, or make all of her decisions for her. No, instead, it means that he gets to figure out what makes her unique on earth, discover what talents, interests, desires, and gifts she has, and then do everything within his power to develop, encourage, and support his wife to grow into these areas.<\/p>\n

The man\u2019s job as the head of his wife is to make his wife shine upon the earth in all her glory, just as this is the task of Jesus for His church.<\/p>\n

Only when the husband behaves this way toward his wife, is she then invited to submit to him. This is what Paul goes on to describe in Ephesians 5:24.<\/p>\n

When should wives submit? (Ephesians 5:24)<\/h2>\n

Ephesians 5:24. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let<\/em> the wives be<\/em> to their own husbands in everything.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The picture Paul uses here is how the church is subject to Christ. He says just as <\/em>the church is subject to Christ, so also wives should be subject to their husbands.<\/p>\n

How is the church subject to Christ? Or maybe a better question is this: Why do we subject ourselves to Jesus Christ?<\/p>\n

Do we subject ourselves to Him simply because He demands it? Is Jesus a dictator who threatens us to obey or else? Some Christians think so, but they are wrong. Jesus is Lord of all, but He does not lord His position over all. He wants us to obey and follow Him, but never forces or demands that we do.<\/p>\n

Those who follow Jesus best do so because they know that Jesus only wants what is best for them.<\/p>\n

Those Christians who submit to Jesus as the Lord and Head of their life do so because they know that Jesus loves them, has given Himself for them, and will always do whatever it takes to help them reach their full potential as a child of God.<\/p>\n

When a Christian knows that Jesus will always lead them in light, love, and truth, this is when the Christians freely follows and obeys and submits to Jesus in everything.<\/p>\n

This is also how it works in the marriage relationship. A woman will never (and should never) follow a man she doesn\u2019t trust. And she shouldn\u2019t be expected to do so. Similarly, a man must never demand that a women submit to him. He can only invite her to do so based on the clear evidence of His self-sacrificial love for her. This is how Jesus invites the church to follow Him, and so must also be how a husband invites his wife to follow him.<\/p>\n

I know this is difficult at times for both. We men sometimes don\u2019t want to love our wives, or even know how to love our wives. Women sometimes don\u2019t want to submit to their husbands, even if he is trying to do what he thinks is best for her.<\/p>\n

But remember, all of this is accomplished as part of being filled with the Holy Spirit. The marriage relationship is the most important relationship that exists in this world. It is more important than any type of friendship. It is even more important than the relationship parents have with their children. The importance of the marriage relationship is why Paul is spending so much time talking about it here in Ephesians 5.<\/p>\n

Since it is so important, we will continue to talk more about marriage in the next two messages. The next message on Ephesians 5:23-30 will focus much more on the requirement of men to be like Jesus and love their wife just as Jesus Christ loves the church. We will then bring it all together in Ephesians 5:31-33 and talk about the importance of marriage in this world and for the church.<\/p>\n

\"what<\/p>\n

[1]<\/a> Stott, 224, quoting Barclay, 199-203.<\/p>\n

[2]<\/a> Ibid.<\/p>\n

[3]<\/a> Ibid.<\/p>\n

[4]<\/a> Stott, 224 quoting Charles Seltman, 136, 138.<\/p>\n

[5]<\/a> Snodgrass, 302.<\/p>\n

[6]<\/a> BKC, 640.<\/p>\n

[7]<\/a> Wayne Grudem, \u201cThe Meaning of Kephale (\u201cHead\u201d): A Response to Recent Studies\u201d in Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: A Response to Evangelical Feminism<\/em>, ed. John Piper and Wayne Grudem (Wheaton: Crossway, 1991), 425-426.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What does it mean for wives to submit to their husbands? Paul writes this instruction in Ephesians 5:22-24. Is Paul misogynistic and sexist for this comment? No. When understood in context, it is a beautiful instruction from Paul that reflects Christ’s love for the church.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":49568,"parent":9691,"menu_order":522,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"full-width-content","footnotes":""},"class_list":{"0":"post-49559","1":"page","2":"type-page","3":"status-publish","4":"has-post-thumbnail","6":"entry"},"yoast_head":"\nThe Spirit-Filled Marriage: Wives Submit (Ephesians 5:22-24) - Redeeming God<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"In this sermon on Ephesians 5:22-24, we look at Paul's instructions for wives to submit to their husbands. 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