Fourth, occasionally we encounter church bullies who are actually mean, evil people<\/strong>, pretending to be otherwise because they\u2019ve found a place (church) where they can get away with their need to bully other people.<\/p>\nAll of these bullies, however, choose churches as places to ply their trade because they\u2019ve discovered that many churches allow them to bully. Those churches seem to believe (often they\u2019re convinced by those who bully), that they should tolerate the bullying because that is \u201cthe Christian thing to do,\u201d \u201ctheir Christian duty.\u201d<\/p>\n
Attach a Christian-sounding description to the bully\u2019s behavior (admonishing, instruction, correction and so on), and a Christian title to the bully (pastor, teacher, elder, deacon, \u201cour beloved brother in Christ\u201d or whatever) and suddenly they can almost do no wrong.<\/p>\n
How Can We Respond to a Church Bully?<\/h2>\n The method that most often works in my experience: Ignore church bullies. Most of them will eventually give up trying to bully us and move on to those who allow themselves to be bullied.<\/p>\n
If the bully will not give up, confront them. Clearly tell them that their behavior (describe it briefly) is unacceptable and we will not tolerate that behavior. Explain what we will do if they do not stop the behavior immediately. That might include talking to the pastor or other leadership. If the pastor or other leadership is the bully, it may include talking to their peers in leadership.<\/p>\n
Confronting church bullies can be terrifying for some of us. If the bully has done his job well, those being bullied will have been taught that confronting the bully is akin to punching God in the nose: God\u2019s going to get really mad if you punch him, and if you confront a church bully.<\/p>\n
There are situations where the bully has solidified his support among those he bullies. He has convinced them that he is always right. Anyone who opposes him is opposing God and the Bible (a sure mark of a church bully). In those situations, the best plan of action may be to leave the group.<\/p>\n
I have heard the advice that one should always tell the church their reasons for leaving. In many situations that is good advice. However, in those cases where we have seen the church bully (bullies) continue to bully from afar those who have left (spreading false rumors about them and why they left), we would be wise to give no explanation. Even if we give no explanation, we should not be surprised if the bully invents an explanation and gives the church that explanation.<\/p>\n
Really, I don\u2019t hate the person who is a bully. I hate their behavior, not only when it is directed at me, but also and especially when it is directed at others. Similarly, I hate the behavior of those, including churches, who allow the bully to ply his trade. Shame on bullies and their supporters for driving people away from churches and away from the Kingdom!<\/p>\n
This is not a comprehensive list. In the comments please tell us about successful ways in which you have dealt with a church bully.<\/p>\n
We\u2019ve barely scratched the surface of this topic. This post is not the last word, but hopefully will begin a conversation. Where, when, or how have you seen church bullies in your life, and what did you do about them, if anything?\u00a0<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n \n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Do you know any church bullies? Almost every church has them. This post looks at how they behave and what we can do to stop church bullies. They often give themselves away by what they say and how they try to control people. Sam Riviera gives some practical suggestions for not letting church bullies bully you. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13209,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[19,1336],"class_list":{"0":"post-13206","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"tag-discipleship","8":"tag-guest-post","9":"entry"},"yoast_head":"\n
I Hate Church Bullies<\/title>\n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n \n\t \n\t \n\t \n \n \n \n \n \n\t \n\t \n\t \n