{"id":38941,"date":"2015-06-02T08:00:15","date_gmt":"2015-06-02T15:00:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/redeeminggod.com\/?p=38941"},"modified":"2017-06-09T18:12:59","modified_gmt":"2017-06-10T01:12:59","slug":"waaaaa-im-not-getting-fed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/redeeminggod.com\/waaaaa-im-not-getting-fed\/","title":{"rendered":"Waaaaa! I’m not getting fed!"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"VinceOver at the “All About Eve” blog<\/a>, Eve asked me about getting fed as a Christian. I gave her a summary of the posts below, which were written by Vince Antonucci in 2008. These posts are classic Vince. (I hope he doesn’t mind me reposting them here … on his blog, they take up about 400 posts … so I compiled them all and put them here for your reading enjoyment.)<\/p>\n

Oh, and full disclosure … I used to be one of those “I’m not getting fed!” Christians, and I encouraged this sort of attitude in the church I pastored. Why? Because I prided myself in being a pastor who provided good feeding. I praised people who came to my church from other churches because they wanted good preaching. I used to say, “We don’t steal sheep; we just grow the grass.”<\/p>\n

Of course, today, I have a completely different view of preaching and church growth and how discipleship occurs … some of these changes I attribute to Vince Antonucci (who wrote an endorsement for my book Adventures in Fishing for Men<\/a>.). Of course, though Vince pastors a church for people who don’t like church, even his church is too churchy for me. But that’s the point.<\/p>\n

Maybe churches are not supposed to be a place for those who want to get fed. Maybe the Sunday morning “church” serves a particular role and particular function within the body of Christ to meet the needs of a particular group of Christians for a particular time. But beyond that, the Sunday morning event becomes unhealthy.<\/p>\n

Let me be more specific: It is important to be fed spiritually … when you are spiritual baby. <\/p>\n

But as you mature as a Christ-follower, you will hopefully become a self-feeder. That is, you will learn to feed yourself.<\/p>\n

If a college professor has the same student in his class for 37 years, that professor is a failure. At some point, the college professor needs to pull that student aside and say, “You have learned everything you can from me. You have passed the class. It is time to move on and get started with life.”<\/p>\n

So also, if parents continue to feed their children for 48 years after they are born (barring any special mental or psychological factors, of course), that parent is also a failure. At some point or another, those parents must show their children the door, saying, “It is time to be an adult on your own.”<\/p>\n

I know that I have been negative in the past on the “institutional church” structure, but if there is one thing the institutional church does better than anyone else, it is the mass feeding of spiritual babes. I would LOVE it if the portion of God’s church which meets regularly on Sunday morning could make this a primary goal of theirs. They would bring in spiritual babes, teach them the fundamentals of the faith, and then kick them out the door. What if churches, instead, of trying to hold on to all the members from birth to the grave, instead held a “graduation ceremony” every year for those who had been there for 4 or 5 years and who were ready to launch out into the world as spiritual adults?<\/p>\n

As the church, our goal should not be to feed people, but to mature people, which means they can feed themselves.<\/strong> <\/p>\n

Anyway, here is Vince Antonucci’s (now famous) blog series, “WAAAAA! I’m not getting fed!” <\/p>\n

But one warning first … Vince’s style in this series is … well … confrontational. Feel free to complain in the comment section below or directly to him on Twitter @vinceantonucci<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\"waaaaa<\/p>\n

WAAAAA! I’m not getting fed! (Part 1)<\/a><\/h2>\n

I thought I\u2019d share a few thoughts on the battle cry of my least favorite people, the church hoppers, shoppers, floppers, and stoppers \u2026 \u201cI\u2019m not getting fed.\u201d<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve heard that quite a bit over ten years of Forefront, and I\u2019ve gone through kind of an evolution of my thoughts on this topic.<\/p>\n

For a long time I blamed myself and felt guilty about not being \u201cdeep enough\u201d and thought maybe it was because I only attended seminary for nine months and can\u2019t read Hebrew or Greek. (One ironic thing, though, is that I would sometimes \u201cuse\u201d (i.e. steal heavily from) other people\u2019s sermons, and often it would be guys considered \u201cdeep\u201d preachers, or it would be a series from a church\u2019s mid-week or \u201cdeeper\u201d service, and people would still say it wasn\u2019t deep enough.)<\/p>\n

Then I started to blame the Forefront context. When you\u2019re trying to reach people who are far from God it\u2019s obvious. So, for instance, on a Sunday morning we\u2019ll have some goofy videos (mostly for people who aren\u2019t Christians) and we\u2019ll carefully explain communion (mostly for people who aren\u2019t Christians) and we have a rockin\u2019 style of worship music (mostly to connect with people who aren\u2019t Christians) and then we have a sermon. And even if the sermon is \u201cdeep\u201d and really good for Christians, I think some Christians simply cannot see past the context it falls within. They realize that several other aspects of the service were not primarily intended for them, and that this church is passionate about non-Christians, and so it\u2019s impossible for them to believe the sermon IS for them, even if it is. They\u2019re wrong, but I understand it \u2013 it\u2019s difficult to take anything seriously when it\u2019s preceded by a dancing gorilla.<\/p>\n

But as I talked to other pastors I realized almost everyone hears this complaint.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Even preachers who aren\u2019t as shallow and uneducated as me, and even churches that don\u2019t feature iPod Suppository commercials before the message. So I used to totally think it was I was to blame, or my church was to blame, and to some extent I still believe that\u2019s partially true, but not as much as I did.<\/p>\n

This caused me to take a closer look at the types of people who complain that they\u2019re not getting fed, and increasingly I believe the problem lies in them. In the next few posts, I\u2019ll explain why. Until then, leave big tips for your waitresses.<\/p>\n

WAAAAA! I’m not getting fed! (Part 2a)<\/a><\/h2>\n

Last time we started a series on people who say, \u201cI\u2019m not getting fed!\u201d and I promised we\u2019d start to look at the type of people who make that complaint.<\/p>\n

\"imBabies.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Babies complain that they\u2019re not getting fed. When my kids were babies, my wife and I had to feed them. I had never been around babies and so this was brand new for me. Suddenly I was pretending a spoon was an airplane and a cheerio was a chug-a-chug-a-choo-choo! When we didn\u2019t feed our babies on time, they let us know it. They cried. As they got a little older they learned not to cry about their displeasure but would verbalize it, \u201cMa-ma, I\u2019m hungry. Da-da, feed me!\u201d<\/p>\n

Babies complain about not getting fed. My son is now nine and now when he\u2019s hungry he asks, \u201cDad, can I get something to eat?\u201d My answer, of course, is, \u201cYou\u2019ll eat when you have a job and can pay for your own food!\u201d<\/p>\n

Only babies complain about not getting fed. There should be a progression in life, and in spiritual life, from needing to be fed, to feeding yourself, to being able to feed others.<\/p>\n

And so when someone in a church says, \u201cI\u2019m not getting fed\u201d my thought is, \u201cThen you BETTER be a baby.\u201d<\/p>\n

It never is. The people who complain about not getting fed are never new Christians. Never. Isn\u2019t that funny? The people who complain about not getting fed are never the baby Christians, but always the older, supposedly more mature Christians.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Can you picture if I, at 37 years old, called my mother every month or two and complained, \u201cI\u2019m not getting fed!\u201d Or if I e-mailed her and said, \u201cSorry, but I\u2019m leaving this family because I\u2019m not getting fed. In fact, I haven\u2019t gotten fed in some time here.\u201d Sound absurd? Well, it\u2019s the freakin\u2019 reality in most churches in America!<\/p>\n

I illustrated this in a sermon once. I started my sermon by carrying a baby up with me, and fed it a few spoonfuls of baby food. At the end of the sermon I asked for a volunteer. One of the Navy Seals in our church raised his hand, so I brought him up, sat him on my lap, and got ready to spoon feed him baby food. It looked totally absurd. And, again, that\u2019s the freakin\u2019 reality in most churches in America!<\/p>\n

WAAAAA! I’m not getting fed! (Part 2b)<\/a><\/h2>\n

Earlier today I posted about how only babies need to be fed by another person, and only babies complain about not getting fed.<\/p>\n

This reminded me of when I was a brand new baby Christian \u2026 (I was twenty-years-old) \u2026 and I was immediately put in a situation where I had to feed others. The reason was that I was leading people to Christ and, compared to them, I was the \u201clong-time Christian\u201d (even though I had only been a Christian for a few weeks!).<\/p>\n

I had no choice, at least not that I knew of, and so I studied the bible like a mad man, put together studies and lessons, and gave them (as crappy as they may have been) to others. You\u2019ve heard of the blind leading the blind, well this was the baby leading the babies.<\/p>\n

And what I learned is this: A person grows WAY MORE from feeding others than they ever grow from being fed. So, I guess, if you want to really be fed \u2013 feed someone else.<\/p>\n

Sometimes babies can feed others \u2026 but only babies should need to be fed.<\/strong><\/p>\n

WAAAAA! I’m not getting fed! (Part 3)<\/a><\/h2>\n

Picture this: Tonight you\u2019re watching the local news and you\u2019re startled by the report: Every restaurant in your area is closing down. Not just your favorites, not just some, but ALL OF THEM. You would obviously be disappointed. Going out to eat is fun. And often the food you get in a restaurant is better than what you make at home. It\u2019s also nice to have a night where you don\u2019t have to make your own meal. And not having to pack your lunch everyday is a convenience you enjoy. So, of course you\u2019d be disappointed.<\/p>\n

But what if the next day a friend came up to you, \u201cDid you hear that all the restaurants are closing?!? What will I do?!? I\u2019m going to starve! I\u2019m not kidding, I will die because of this! I can\u2019t live without restaurants!\u201d And you\u2019re friend is serious. He\u2019s not joking or exaggerating.<\/p>\n

What do you think of your friend? That he\u2019s got some serious problems, right? That he is ridiculously lazy, right?<\/p>\n

Well, in my not so humble opinion, when a Christian says, \u201cI\u2019m not getting fed\u201d this is truly what they\u2019re saying. I mean, sure, it\u2019s nice to go to church and get some bible fed to you. We all enjoy being lazy once-in-awhile. And most preachers can give you a better bible study than what you can do on your home at home.<\/p>\n

So there\u2019s nothing wrong with going to church and \u201cgetting fed.\u201d But if you\u2019re dependent on it, if it\u2019s the only way you can get fed, if you don\u2019t know what to do without it, you\u2019ve got some serious problems and you are ridiculously lazy.<\/p>\n

People who say, \u201cI\u2019m not getting fed\u201d are lazy. Seriously, think about it. The people who say this only get 30 minutes with their preacher a week, but they expect their preacher to feed them. They have 167 \u00bd hours the rest of the week, but their spiritual sustenance is supposed to come from their preacher, in only 30 minutes. They can\u2019t figure out some other way of getting spiritual nutrition the rest of their week despite living in a country where we can legally own bibles (and the average home has three!), where Christian bookstores are all over the place, and where the internet provides a never-ending supply of spiritual resources.<\/p>\n

So, what kind of people say \u201cI\u2019m not getting fed\u201d? Thumb-sucking babies, and pampered-pouting lazy Christians.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"adult<\/p>\n

Tomorrow I\u2019ll tell you how I really feel. Until then, save me the aisle seat.<\/p>\n

WAAAAA! I’m not getting fed! (Part 4a)<\/a><\/h2>\n

So I\u2019m doing the greatest blog series in the history of the world. The series is on what pastors hear so often, \u201cI\u2019m not getting fed.\u201d Last time I asked: \u201cWho says this?\u201d and answered, \u201cThumb-sucking babies and pampered, pouting lazy Christians.\u201d Today I have one more answer: Christians who miss the point.<\/p>\n

What do I mean? Some people misunderstand \u201cspiritual maturity.\u201d<\/p>\n

What do you think are the signs of a person who is truly spiritually mature? This is something I\u2019ve studied and thought about a lot, and here\u2019s what I\u2019ve come to. The three greatest signs of spiritual maturity are: (1) Intimacy with God, (2) Obedience to God, (3) Serving other people. The way we\u2019d say that at Forefront is, \u201cLove God, Love People.\u201d<\/p>\n

Jesus said that all the commandments hang on this. Loving God is a relational thing and leads to intimacy with Him. (So it\u2019s sharing His heart, and sharing my heart with Him.) Jesus also taught us that to love God is to obey His commands. (So one way to measure spiritual maturity is how quickly you obey God.) Jesus also said He came to serve and we\u2019re to follow His example. (So getting past self-centeredness and learning to put others before ourselves is what we\u2019re after.)<\/p>\n

We could argue about this (I guess that\u2019s what the comment section is for) but I\u2019m sticking with my answer, because it\u2019s what I\u2019ve found in the Bible.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, this is NOT EVEN CLOSE to the definition most American Christians have for spiritual maturity. How do they define it? I\u2019ll tell you later today. Until then, I\u2019ll give you $5 if you can get yourself on Cops.<\/p>\n

WAAAAA! I’m not getting fed! (Part 4b)<\/a><\/h2>\n

So how do American Christians define spiritual maturity? I don\u2019t know how it happened (but I\u2019d be interested to find out*) but somewhere along the line we have equated spiritual knowledge with spiritual maturity.<\/p>\n

We see this in all kinds of ways.<\/p>\n

Who is in the person who leads the small group? Well, the person who knows the most, of course.<\/p>\n

Who is revered in your church? The person who knows the most, of course.<\/p>\n

Bible college professors are held up as spiritual giants. Why? Is it because of their intimacy with God? No. Because of their obedience to God? No. Because of their service to other people? No. We don\u2019t know any of those things about them. What we know is that they know a lot. And that\u2019s enough.<\/p>\n

We believe the person who knows the most about God, the most about the Bible, is the most spiritually mature. And the only problem with that is that it\u2019s wrong. Knowledge does not equal maturity. I have known lots of people who know lots about God and the Bible and are not remotely Christ-like. (And, by the way, I can think of someone who knows a ton about God and the Bible, could it be \u2026 Satan?!?)<\/p>\n

Next time I\u2019ll talk about how this misunderstanding of spiritual maturity has wreaked havoc for Pastors and churches and Muppets and people who press olives in Greece and \u2026<\/p>\n

* (this is a footnote!) \u2013 Do you think it\u2019s possible that part of the reason we\u2019ve defined spiritual maturity as knowledge is because that way we don\u2019t have to obey? Instead of obeying what we know, we just learn more!<\/p>\n

WAAAAA! I’m not getting fed! (Part 5a)<\/a><\/h2>\n

I said last time that in America we\u2019ve (wrongly) equated spiritual knowledge with spiritual maturity. We think that the more you know, the more godly you are.<\/p>\n

Because we\u2019ve created that culture, we have Christians whose goal is to know more and more, and that\u2019s why they come to church on Sundays. So \u2026 if our sermons don\u2019t stuff more Greek and Hebrew and obscure (and probably useless) bible history into their heads, they\u2019re not happy. (And many, many preachers are worshipping these people by giving them exactly what they want.)<\/p>\n

So, actually, for these people, \u201cI\u2019m not getting fed\u201d really means, \u201cTo feel spiritually mature (and superior) I need to expand my store of virtually useless bible information so I can impress my friends and win Bible Jeopardy and you\u2019re not giving me the facts I need!\u201d<\/p>\n

This is SO ridiculous.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

I also think it\u2019s a MAJOR reason why so many Christians feel spiritually empty inside. It\u2019s because they\u2019re approaching Christianity like it\u2019s something to be studied, rather than lived \u2013 and God becomes someone to know about, rather than to know.<\/p>\n

Okay, I have to rant on this more, but I\u2019ll do it a little later (in fact, two more coming today). If you don\u2019t want to hear any more about this, I\u2019ll understand if you stop reading my blog \u2013 but you\u2019ll regret it for the rest of your life. So good luck with that.<\/p>\n

WAAAAA! I’m not getting fed! (Part 5b)<\/a><\/h2>\n

So earlier I started going off about how people define spiritual maturity as spiritual knowledge and how they end up feeling spiritually empty (and thus say, \u201cI\u2019m not getting fed!\u201d) and it\u2019s because they\u2019re approaching Christianity like it\u2019s something to be studied, rather than lived \u2013 and God becomes someone to know about, rather than to know.<\/p>\n

Think of it this way. Let\u2019s say my marriage is going poorly. So my wife and I go to a counselor. We tell him we don\u2019t feel close at all and want more out of our marriage. So he says: \u201cHere\u2019s what you need to do. Each of you should hire someone to do a 30 minute presentation on the other each week. Attend that seminar, learn all the facts you can about each other, and your marriage will be great.\u201d Good advice? No. The stupidest thing you\u2019ve heard since you learned that Brittany and Jaimie Lynn Spear\u2019s mother is putting out a book on parenting? Maybe.<\/p>\n

The way to make a marriage better is \u2026 quality time together, really talking, listening to each other, having date nights, serving each other, submitting, finding common interests.<\/p>\n

So when Christians don\u2019t feel close to God and want more out of their relationship with Him the answer is a \u201cdeeper\u201d sermon on Sundays? Are you kidding me?!?<\/strong><\/em> The answer is that you need to get \u201cfed\u201d by your preacher? Really?!?<\/p>\n

\u201cYou should go to a church with deeper messages.\u201d Is that good advice? No. One of the stupidest things you\u2019ve ever heard? Maybe.<\/p>\n

If thing with God really is a relationship (or anything like a relationship) than what we\u2019re after is not knowledge, its intimacy. And you can\u2019t get intimacy through a sermon.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Wait, I have another way of saying this. I\u2019ll tell you later.<\/p>\n

WAAAAA! I’m not getting fed! (Part 5c)<\/a><\/h2>\n

Okay, this is like the 400th post in this series (sorry) but we\u2019re talking about what spiritual maturity looks like and why people say, \u201cI\u2019m not getting fed\u201d and how if you\u2019re not feeling close to God or where you need to be spiritually, there\u2019s no way my 30 minute sermon can help you.<\/p>\n

\"cryingEarlier I used a marriage as a metaphor, here\u2019s another one: If you feel woefully out of shape physically, and once a week you attend a seminar on how to work out, or how to eat healthy, but then the rest of the week don\u2019t live any different, can you complain about the seminars?<\/p>\n

Of course not! A seminar can\u2019t get you in good shape, you have to DO what the seminar is talking about, and you have to do it consistently.<\/p>\n

And so \u2026 stop giving me your \u201cI\u2019m not getting fed\u201d crap and go home and spend lots of time face-to-face with God, and you WILL grow in intimacy with Him. And then you\u2019ll realize that there\u2019s something far better than knowing about God, and it\u2019s knowing God.<\/p>\n

(Sorry, I lost it there for a minute.)<\/p>\n

WAAAAA! I’m not getting fed! (Part 6)<\/a><\/h2>\n

So I\u2019ve gone on and on about this \u201cnot getting fed\u201d thing and I have to start wrapping it up. Here\u2019s the question: What do we do when someone says, \u201cI\u2019m not getting fed\u201d?<\/p>\n

Well, I have two answers.<\/p>\n

First, we need to make sure that we\u2019re teaching people HOW to feed themselves. I\u2019ve made it quite clear this last week or so that I don\u2019t think it\u2019s my job as a pastor to \u201cfeed people\u201d on Sunday mornings. But I DO believe it\u2019s the churches job to teach people to feed themselves. And so, when someone says, \u201cI\u2019m not being fed\u201d I need to ask myself, \u201cHave we taught this person to feed themselves? If not, then I have to take a lot of the blame for this, and I need to do something about it.<\/p>\n

At Forefront, we\u2019ve tried to make sure we\u2019re teaching people how to feed themselves. For instance:<\/p>\n