This is a guest post by Sam Riviera. He spends most of his time and energy caring for others in his community so that through his life and actions they might see Jesus. If you have neighbors (and you do), you must read his series of posts on Getting to Know Your Neighbors.
If you would like to write a guest post for this blog, check out the guidelines here.
Which Gospel?
When I was a child, I loved my church. I imagined Jesus sitting next to me when I was there. Jesus loved me this I knew, for I learned it in Sunday school.
As an adult, however, something changed. I could no longer imagine Jesus sitting beside me as I listened to a whole ‘nuther gospel, a gospel of money, power, authority, position, correct thinking, correct behaving and unquestioning acceptance of everything being taught.
Where Is Jesus?
I no longer knew what to call the institution. Church seemed inappropriate. So I called it religion and decided to look for Jesus elsewhere.
Although there are dozens of reasons why I left the institutional church, there are thirteen that especially stand out in my mind:
- Apparently Jesus had left the building. I occasionally heard someone mention Him, but I could not find Him there.
- I could no longer be part of an organization that did not treat women and men equally.
- If I heard another “Christian” refer to LGBT people as abominations condemned to hell I was going to get in their face in a major way. I came within seconds of doing exactly that in front of hundreds of people at a mega church event.
- The church was totally about preserving itself, which included protecting the money and playing the politics needed to accomplish that.
- The church wanted and lusted after the rich, the beautiful, those with good jobs and large incomes, those who had married well, those who lived in the best neighborhoods and those who sent their children to the best schools. The church did not want or welcome the poor, the unlovely, minorities, LGBTs or the homeless.
- The church did not want or welcome those who asked questions, those who disagreed with the leadership and those who did not contribute financially.
- The pastor, staff and leadership rarely had time to talk to anyone except the power brokers and those who gave the most money.
- Everyone was expected to believe exactly alike.
- I asked the pastor “Do you know what happened to ‘Mr. Smith’? I haven’t seen him in several weeks.” “The last I heard he was very ill and in the hospital. He may have died,” the pastor replied. “Did you visit him at the hospital or call his family? I asked. “No. He wasn’t a member of the church.” Neither was I, nor were many of the people who attended there. If I ended up on my deathbed, at least I knew who would not be there. (I later learned from another source that ‘Mr. Smith had died a couple of weeks before my conversation with the pastor.)
- I hated the cliques. There was always an “in” group. The “in” group ignored everyone else.
- Most of the decisions of the church were not really made in board meetings, member meetings or in other official venues. They were made by a small group of power brokers behind the scenes – in phone calls and e-mails, in the hallways of the church and in other unofficial venues. The official venues were only for show.
- The church disliked the people who lived in the neighborhood around the church.
- The church did not interact with the neighborhood or community, or invest time or money in them. Most of the money was spent on the needs of the church.
My list of reasons was compiled based on what I experienced and observed at the churches I attended. Each item could be illustrated by numerous stories. My experience undoubtedly does not reflect everyone’s experience.
Did you ever leave the church? Why or why not? Did you return? Why or why not?
I have left church several times and come back. I have been searching all my adult life for the biblical concept of ekklesia — a gathering led by the presence of God where ordinary people are free to share and minister to one another according to 1 Corinthians 14:26. For the last 8 years, my wife and I have been given the freedom in a denomination to lead that type of gathering.
–I’ve just written a book about it called: “Beyond Church: An Invitation To Experience The Lost Word Of The Bible–Ekklesia” available on Amazon at http://www.amazon.com/Beyond-Church-Lost-Bible-Ekklesia/dp/1518744567/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1452300562&sr=1-1
I left my church a few months back because after the senior pastor left, everyone started taking paths of labeling each other. They, the power brokers, would not listen to those outside the inner circle about hiring a new pastor in light of the congregation being less than 200 active members and their want of two pastors, when two families have continually I played catchup with the unpaid bills.
When you cannot face reality or criticism and you label someone for not agreeing with you the power group, especially after this person just bought the church a $2000 coffeemaker, is not acceptable. Nor is that behavior Christian. I was that person and when I wrote the church board an email letter about their issues, I was labeled as being nasty!
Yet they cannot understand why their level of participation has dropped, members have left and they have no new growth! One of the lat leaders has continually labeled those speaking against her and the gossip amongst the congregation is rampant and just plain nasty. Shame on you.
These situations can be very hard on us JL. If you believe you need to be part of an institutional church, by all means visit others and choose which would be the best fit for you.
If you do not feel the need to be part of an institutional church, join those of us who follow Jesus outside the four walls of a building. To some that may sound radical, but it’s not. Our name is Legion, for we are many, and our number is growing. The idea that the church can sit inside their four walls and expect people to come to them isn’t working so well these days, much to the dismay of those who must pay the bills to maintain that scenario.
People leave for many reasons, including unfriendly parishoners, bickering, bullying and so on, and others primarily leave to go out to the community with the love of Jesus. Even if you left because of the former, you may decide this is your impetus to “Be the Church in the Community.” Enter the term “Being the Church in the Community” in the search box at the bottom of this page and you will find a series of posts on that topic. Also search the archives on this blog for numerous other posts on similar topics related to following Jesus outside the walls of the “church.”
Amen
It seems to me many, maybe each generation, thinks they have something better or more perfect to offer than their present church environment. Either denominational or other kinds of “splits” in the church, big and small, is nothing new. It’s been going on since Paul and Barnabas separated (although they seem to have made amends, at least, it seems clear in Scripture regarding Mark and Paul; perhaps, Barnabas, also, we can safely assume). But soon those who split become institutionalized and we go back o square one.
No?
I came across this tonight and I agree with just about every reason listed here to leave institutional church.
I have been treated HORRIBLE by my own church and others too. They are completely rejecting of me. Jesus did not intend any soul to be rejected who came sincerely to seek Him.
Churches today do all of the things you mentioned, but on top of it all, they give NO HOPE and Jesus was all about hope!
They talk to me terrible and treat me terrible. I am in spiritual crisis and none of them care either.