Imagine that you are a parent of a teenage son, and one day he comes home from school and blurts out, “I’ve started doing drugs. Am I going to hell?”
How do you answer?
What if he said, “A few years ago, someone at school gave me a Playboy, and I been masturbating to it several times a week. Am I going to hell?”
Or, “My girlfriend and I have been having sleeping together for about three months now. Am I going to hell?”
Most Christian parents, I think, would rightfully be alarmed at such confessions, but few would tell their son that he was going to hell. Most parents would seek to help him through these
But what instead, your son said, “For a few years now I’ve been attracted to other guys, and over the last few months, I’ve started having sex with another guy at school. We love each other very much. But someone told me today that unless I change, I’m going to hell. Are they right?”
Now how do you answer?
Most evangelical Christians, when confronted with this hypothetical scenario, respond by saying, “Oh, that would never happen with my son. You see, he had involved father, a mother who wasn’t domineering, and he was never sexually abused as a child. Studies prove that most gay men have had at least one of these things happen to them.”
This, of course, is not an explanation of how you would respond if your son “came out” to you, but is rather a denial of its possibility. It is a non-answer.
Which is why, I suppose, most Christian families are shocked and completely unprepared when such situations do happen to them. We have been caught unaware and unprepared. We never thought it would happen to us, and so we didn’t think about what we should do or say if and when it did.
However, in a world that increasingly welcomes and accepts those of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transsexual (LGBT) orientation, Christians must open their eyes and ears to what LGBT people are saying about God, the Scriptures, the church, and human sexuality. This is especially true if we want to minister among them.
Furthermore, the LGBT issue is increasingly being brought up on television and in politics. Numerous states are passing laws legalizing same-sex marriage. Therefore, it is vitally important for Christians to know how to respond to these situations, not only in truth, but also in love.
Andrew Marin is one Christian who is pioneering the way.
In his newly released book, Love is an Orientation (IVP, 2009), Andrew Marin provides an excellent overview of the absolute necessity for Christians to build bridges to those people who are in the LGBT community. As Christ took the initiative and came to us, we must take the initiative in building bridges of hope and love to others.
Thankfully, Andrew Marin is not writing theoretically, but from yeas of experience from living among the LGBT community as the “gayest straight person in the world.”
The book provides excellent insights and guidelines for working alongside and developing relationships with people in the LGBT community. For example, Andrew advises the four of the most important things Christians can do are (1) love, (2) listen, (3) don’t judge, and (4) seek friendship and conversation. Also, he recommends we stop saying “Love the sinner; hate the sin” and referring to those in the LGBT community as “homosexuals.” Both, he explains, are derogatory.
One helpful feature of the book is the answers to the five main questions that are on the minds of most Christians. The questions are:
- Do you think that gays and lesbians are born that way?
- Do you think homosexuality is a sin?
- Can a LGBT person change?
- Do you think that someone can be gay and a Christian?
- Are LGBT people going to hell?
I imagine that as you read this short review, one or two of these questions crossed your mind as well. I believe that Marin provided some excellent answers to these questions in his book. Sadly, I don’t have room to reproduce the answers here…so I guess you’ll just have to buy and read the book for yourself.
Question: “What does the Bible say about gay marriage / same sex marriage?”
Answer: While the Bible does address homosexuality, it does not explicitly mention gay marriage/same-sex marriage. It is clear, however, that the Bible condemns homosexuality as an immoral and unnatural sin. Leviticus 18:22 identifies homosexual sex as an abomination, a detestable sin. Romans 1:26-27 declares homosexual desires and actions to be shameful, unnatural, lustful, and indecent. First Corinthians 6:9 states that homosexuals are unrighteous and will not inherit the kingdom of God. Since both homosexual desires and actions are condemned in the Bible, it is clear that homosexuals “marrying” is not God’s will, and would be, in fact, sinful.
Whenever the Bible mentions marriage, it is between a male and a female. The first mention of marriage, Genesis 2:24, describes it as a man leaving his parents and being united to his wife. In passages that contain instructions regarding marriage, such as 1 Corinthians 7:2-16 and Ephesians 5:23-33, the Bible clearly identifies marriage as being between a man and a woman. Biblically speaking, marriage is the lifetime union of a man and a woman, primarily for the purpose of building a family and providing a stable environment for that family.
The Bible alone, however, does not have to be used to demonstrate this understanding of marriage. The biblical viewpoint of marriage has been the universal understanding of marriage in every human civilization in world history. History argues against gay marriage. Modern secular psychology recognizes that men and women are psychologically and emotionally designed to complement one another. In regard to the family, psychologists contend that a union between a man and woman in which both spouses serve as good gender role models is the best environment in which to raise well-adjusted children. Psychology argues against gay marriage. In nature/physicality, clearly, men and women were designed to “fit” together sexually. With the “natural” purpose of sexual intercourse being procreation, clearly only a sexual relationship between a man and a woman can fulfill this purpose. Nature argues against gay marriage.
So, if the Bible, history, psychology, and nature all argue for marriage being between a man and a woman—why is there such a controversy today? Why are those who are opposed to gay marriage/same-sex marriage labeled as hateful, intolerant bigots, no matter how respectfully the opposition is presented? Why is the gay rights movement so aggressively pushing for gay marriage/same-sex marriage when most people, religious and non-religious, are supportive of—or at least far less opposed to—gay couples having all the same legal rights as married couples with some form of civil union?
The answer, according to the Bible, is that everyone inherently knows that homosexuality is immoral and unnatural, and the only way to suppress this inherent knowledge is by normalizing homosexuality and attacking any and all opposition to it. The best way to normalize homosexuality is by placing gay marriage/same-sex marriage on an equal plane with traditional opposite-gender marriage. Romans 1:18-32 illustrates this. The truth is known because God has made it plain. The truth is rejected and replaced with a lie. The lie is then promoted and the truth suppressed and attacked. The vehemence and anger expressed by many in the gay rights movement to any who oppose them is, in fact, an indication that they know their position is indefensible. Trying to overcome a weak position by raising your voice is the oldest trick in the debating book. There is perhaps no more accurate description of the modern gay rights agenda than Romans 1:31, “they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless.”
To give sanction to gay marriage/same-sex marriage would be to give approval to the homosexual lifestyle, which the Bible clearly and consistently condemns as sinful. Christians should stand firmly against the idea of gay marriage/same-sex marriage. Further, there are strong and logical arguments against gay marriage/same-sex marriage from contexts completely separated from the Bible. One does not have to be an evangelical Christian to recognize that marriage is between a man and a woman.
According to the Bible, marriage is ordained by God to be between a man and a woman (Genesis 2:21-24; Matthew 19:4-6). Gay marriage/same-sex marriage is a perversion of the institution of marriage and an offense to the God who created marriage. As Christians, we are not to condone or ignore sin. Rather, we are to share the love of God and the forgiveness of sins that is available to all, including homosexuals, through Jesus Christ. We are to speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) and contend for truth with “gentleness and respect” (1 Peter 3:15). As Christians, when we make a stand for truth and the result is personal attacks, insults, and persecution, we should remember the words of Jesus: “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you” (John 15:18-19).
FYI
“I don’t have room to reproduce the answers here…so I guess you’ll just have to buy and read the book for yourself.”
You big tease!
🙂
Gabe, same-sex marriage isn’t even close to the topic of the post. It doesn’t matter what you or your ilk think about gay marriage or what your god thinks about it. The State doesn’t recognize any god’s authority. You will ultimately lose this battle because the Constitution does not use the Bible for source material. Christians can continue this irrelevant fight or figure out how to live within the world.
Instead of throwing quotes from Leviticus and the Epistles, why don’t you tell us all what Jesus said about gays. Oh, that’s right, he didn’t say anything.
Or you could address the topic of the post and try to figure out how American Christians are going to function in a society that no longer follows their rules.
Bullet…good to hear from you again. I have been following your recent posts. I am sorry for what you are going through…
Thanks for the input about the post. It sounds like you have read the book…
Gabe,
Those are all the same arguments I used to use also. But of course, they don’t win me any friendships with gay people. Are they wrong arguments then? Well, we can’t allow pragmatism help us interpret Scripture. But maybe, just maybe, pragmatism IS behind that typical evangelical interpretation…
Are you aware of how gay theologians understand those texts? They do have an explanation…and a quite good one. It certainly has made me think. I feel that until I research what they are saying about such texts, and how they understand them, I need to be careful about how I use them. And of course, we do not research what they are saying just so we can blast them, but so that we can (1) love, (2) listen, (3) don’t judge, and (4) seek friendship and conversation.
“Does homosexuality send you to hell”
easiest way to weed out lordship salvation people. everyone treats homosexuality as if it is worse than all of the other sins combined.
lot more gays going to heaven than people in those crowds
Kirk,
Excellent insight…and so true. So true.