I have a love-hate relationship with blogs. I love reading what others are doing, and the insights they have on church and ministry, but at the same time, I sometimes get depressed by what I read. Not because it is bad, but because it is so good. I wish I was the one who had written it. I wish I was the one who had that many followers, or that many comments, or that many re-Tweets.
I get depressed at all the books other bloggers are writing, the conferences they are attending and speaking at, the interviews they are doing, and the opportunities they are getting. It’s most depressing when I read a blog by someone who is doing what I have always dreamt of doing, and they are ten years younger than me.
But today it was as if God said to me, “Stop it. They are doing some great things, but I haven’t called you to be them. I have called you to be you.”
“But what am I doing, Lord?” I whined back.
“Are you providing for your family?”
“Yes.”
“Are you loving your wife and children?”
“Not as well as I should, but I think so.”
“Are you loving and serving me more every day?”
“I hope so.”
“Fine. Do these three things and let me take care of the rest. If I want something more for you, I’ll take care of it.”
“Yeah, but God, these guys don’t seem to be just sitting back waiting for you to bring opportunity to them. They’re going out and grabbing it!”
“You’re not them. Listen, if you want to compare yourself to someone, why don’t you compare yourself to my Son, Jesus. By the time He was your age, He had died on the cross for the sins of the whole world and had risen again from the dead. Talk about an accomplishment! You want to shoot for that standard?”
“No, of course not. Besides, He was the Messiah. I couldn’t accomplish it even if I wanted to.”
“Exactly. And just as you are not the Messiah, you are not these other guys either. You’re you. And I’ve got great things in store for you, just as soon as you stop wishing you were somone else.”
“I see your point. …So should I still blog?”
“I hope you do, because I like reading your blog.”
“You read what I write!? Don’t you already know what I’m going to write before I write it?”
“Of course. But if you are doing what you love, I love watching you do it. And just so you know, I’m probably your biggest fan, even though I won’t make a comment or show up in your blog stats.”
“Wow. I never knew that. Thanks for reading!”
“My pleasure. Truly.”
You’ve been getting into grandma’s watermelon wine again, haven’t you?
Bonar, I never stopped….
I’m reading your book….awesome. Are you going to get it published?
No one will touch my book. It’s been systematically ignored by most and vehemently criticized by others. The critiques are generally quite venomous so I think I might be on to something. I can’t find an audience for it.
I self-published through Amazon. Also available on Kindle. Both are priced as low as they will allow.
Thanks for the encouraging words. I guess we just keep pushing forward promoting relationship over religion. It’s all I know how to do anymore.
Some of your language is probably too spicy for most Christian publishers. I am not sure which publishing houses you have pursued.
I will post a review of it on my blog when I finish it, and point people to it on Amazon. I, for one, am enjoying it.
Thank you for this post. I’ve been struggling a lot with this too – and you hit the nail right on the head with this one. I have to remember that God has created me for a unique purpose – one that is only mine … and that I have to be diligent in living out what he’s calling me to do. Trusting that he is being glorified by the work I am doing…
Crystal,
To some degree, everyone probably struggles with this a bit. I have heard of best selling authors who are jealous of others who are bigger best-selling authors. So I’m with you, we just have to try to be ourselves and do what God has called us to do.
Good to hear and great timing. Thanks!
If you want to check out one more blog : ) Mine is walkinspirit.com
Rebekah,
I’d be glad to come on over and check it out! See you in a bit!
Very insightful, Jeremy! Who really cares how many comments a certain blogger gets in one day? (Although 610 is a lot!) Do you feel His pleasure? You might want to read a sentence in “Voyage of the Dawntreader”. For fear of not quoting it exactly, I’ll drop the page number and line in another comment when I have access to my library (my DIL & GK are sleeping in there now).
Yes. I know. But just as pastors live and die by the Sunday numbers, many bloggers live and die by the WordPress stats and the comment count! Ha!