I remember when I thought that the most important thing about Good Friday is that it actually happened on a Thursday. Yes, I was one of the freaks of Christianity who got his kicks studying, debating, and teaching the finer points of theology that few people even knew existed, and fewer cared about. (For example, did you know Peter actually denied Christ SIX times? I can prove it!)
So I laughed when I recently read in Vince Antonucci’s new book, I Became a Christian, and All I Got was this Lousy T-Shirt, that one reason he started to investigate Christianity was because of some old guy teaching on television about how research had proven that something actually occurred on Wednesday rather than Tuesday (pp. 11-12). Vince doesn’t remember what the event was, but I bet it had something to do with the Passion week. Scholars are always debating about the order of the events of this week, and what happened on which days. You will even hear some talking about the “missing day” of Jesus’ final week. I used to be one of those people. Of course, I didn’t have a “missing day” in my order of events, because for me, Good Friday happened on Thursday. I think I preached a sermon about this once. These are the things I cared about most.
More than the people in my church. More than my wife or kids.
Recently, I have begun to realize that a change has occurred in me. Much of what I once thought was so important, I now consider to be almost completely irrelevant. I have also found myself crying a lot. Yes, there, I said it. I am a man, and I cry. A lot. Maybe I’m emotionally imbalanced. Maybe I need some testosterone boosters. I don’t know.
These crying bouts have confused and concerned my wife. Three nights ago, as I was crying about something, she tenderly asked, “What is going through your head right now?” Blowing my nose, I sniffled, “I don’t know. This is all so confusing to me as well. I don’t understand it either. I’m not really thinking anything except, ‘Why in the world am I crying?'”
So I started to think more about it, and observed the times when I start to cry, then talk about it with my wife. I noticed I cry when I read or hear stories about people who have experienced great personal pain in life. I cry when I learn about people who lost a loved one, boys who were beaten or neglected by their father, girls who were molested or raped, women who were abandoned by their husband. Last night, when I shared this with Wendy, she said, “I think that while you used to love theology, you now love people.”
I think my wife may be right. I’ve even noticed changes in my reading patterns. It used to be that when I read books, I would underline and scribble all over the theology sections, and skip over or get annoyed at the stories the authors would include as illustrations. I saw such stories as a needless waste of words. Now, as I flip through books I’ve read over the past six months or so, I see that I have underlined and scribbled all over the stories, and left the “theology” portions nearly untouched. I want more stories. I find myself reading and re-reading them. I share them with my wife. I ask myself how I would respond (besides crying) to people who have such pain in their lives. I want to get to know these people whose lives are so full of pain. If possible, I want to soak up some of their pain, and share with them some of the love they so desperately need and which I have been given in abundance.
And I realized today, on Good Friday, that this is why Jesus died. Did He die for the “propitiation for the sins of the world”? Of course. Was it an “unlimited and substitutionary atonement”? Yes. But I believe that more than any of these theological truths, Jesus died to associate with us in our suffering, to understand our loneliness, and to soak up our pain.
His death was not primarily a theological event. It was the greatest act of love that ever occured in the history of the universe. Jesus died because He loves you.
“I think that while you used to love theology, you now love people.”
I love that comment. Maybe this is why preachers grow grumpy instead of more grace-filled. They get focused on theology, truth, debates, controversy and forget about people.
You’re wife is perceptive!
While I am normally inspired by your optimism, this sudden onset of emotion and change in behavior is worrying. A sudden change like that after what you just went through could indicate something more serious. You should talk to someone about it (a professional, not a pastor, no offense).
While it may seem I’m sounding an alarm prematurely, “temporary” depression can cause changes that are difficult to fix if not treated right away. If everything’s fine and you are simply changing into a more emotional, empathetic person, then that’s fantastic. It wouldn’t hurt or change anything to make sure.
You’ve got my email if you need it.
Shawn,
Thanks for the comment. I think you are right (both about my wife and the grumpy pastors!). I’ve seen it happen so often with pastors who focus on nothing but theology. It’s hard for anyone to be around them, and then their church starts to stumble, and they blame it more on the people. Toxic! But I speak from experience. I was somewhat that way in my first two pastorates from 2000-2005. I don’t want to go back to being that way!
Bullet,
Thanks for the input and concern. It really means a lot to me. My wife and I did talk over me seeing a counselor. A sudden shift like this does seem somewhat abnormal. But I think that I am just going to monitor things for a while and see what happens. Besides, I kind of like the new me…
Jeremy,
Bravo, the applause from up here in Colorado is deafening!
Most men who can’t admit to empathy and a change of mind are still maturing in life. I would bet that Jesus Christ shed more tears than we see in the bible. I cried last night in front of my sons during our church’s good Friday service! I have heard enough about people who say FG churches deny the cross. They needed to be among the assembly yesterday of about 3000 believers in three different services that heard the message of the cross given and the simple message of the gift of eternal life by believing in the one that was nailed to the cross for our sins.
I appreciate you brother, and your right we too many people trying to determine how many angels are dancing on the head of a pin. Or was it a needle?
Unfortunately for me I have given my word and will start posting what I have written about the gospel on my blog pretty soon. If you can stand one more theological stint I’ll send you the paper. Also you still owe me your resume!
Your brother,
Jim
Highlands Ranch, CO
Jim,
I will, of course, always be a student of theology. I am just putting it in it’s rightful place. So yes, go ahead and send me your paper.
And I forgot about that resume. I will send it today.
Jeremy,
Here’s a question for you (maybe you’ve already discussed this elsewhere). It may seem unrelated to this article, but it really does connect (at least in my own mind).
What is the purpose of the church?
Granted, the church no doubt has more than one purpose. But what do you see as the main goal, the main purpose of the church? To evangelize? To disciple? To care for people? To change people’s lives?
Here’s the connection to this post. I totally see and agree with the need for Christians to care about people, like Jesus did. And I certainly don’t think we need a bunch of stuffy church people sitting around discussing Genesis 6 all day while people around them are dying and going to hell (that would be, a place of shame, right? 🙂 ).
But if the church focuses merely on caring for hurting people, how does that separate us from any other “support group” or what have you? If the church is mending marriages, healing financial woes, helping people get over addictions, etc., then it seems to me that the church tends to blend in to society and all the other self-help type stuff.
In addition, if/when the church is presented as a/the way to help people with their problems, what happens when people don’t get helped, and/or feel like things should have changed in their lives but didn’t? I.e. “I joined the church but my wife still left me”. I had a friend in high school who essentially did that.
I think you would be quick to agree (but maybe not!) that Scripture simply doesn’t speak to most of the problems people have today, despite the attempts of counselors, pastors, etc. The Bible doesn’t really tell us how to get out of credit card debt, or what to do if your kid is strong-willed, or how to tell what your spouse’s love language is (The Five Love Languages is an awesome book though!). These weren’t issues that even existed back then, let alone were they issues that the biblical writers felt the need to address.
Beyond all this, it seems to me that MANY people are leaving Christianity because they aren’t grounded (read: educated) in the origins and defense of their faith. It’s so bad that many Christians see something like the Zeitgeist movie or The God Who Wasn’t There and think they actually make good points. Books critical of Christianity lately are best-sellers (hey Shawn, yes, this is a plug for our apologetics class 🙂 ).
So if we as Christians focus on helping people have better lives, but we aren’t answering the challenges that are out there, why would people even bother turning to Christian churches when they can get the same help somewhere else w/o the “baggage” of listening to stuff they think is wrong? Also, there is the issue that people can and do make their lives better w/o Christianity, and many people that do have Christianity do NOT have better lives (as you’ve noted).
So if the church becomes all about helping people, it seems that we lose our uniqueness and become simply another self-help option, and a lower-priority one at that since it brings other conditions and aspects that are seemingly undesirable.
Yet OTOH, we obviously can’t ignore people and their problems. We do need to help them. So what do you think? How do you solve this conflict and keep from swinging too far one way or the other (if you think we even need to try)?
Tom,
I like your new blog! Keep those posts coming!
I am standing up applauding right now, Jeremy. I feel I connected with your heart in this even though we’ve never met in person. I remember a guy in Bible college told me, People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care. God bless you my friend.
Rachel,
I made a post today about the Purpose of the church, partly in respose to your question above, but also because it has been a “rough draft” for a while, and I decided to publish it when you asked the question.
As stated in that post, I think the purpose of the church is to glorify God.
I know that is “roll-your-eyes” generic, and almost a cop-out answer, but it is what I believe.
This doesn’t come close to answering your question about needs-based church versus discipleship church.
My basic thinking right now is that both are necessary. I think that true and deep discipleship is not happening in a church unless the needs of the congregation and the community are being met, and I think that one of the best ways to disciple believers is to get them serving in the community along side each other.
Somewhere along the way, we have come to equate “discipleship” with “gaining Bible knowledge.” I don’t think this can be defended from Scripture.
We need both strong biblical instruction, and practical, need-meeting service. There are a few churches doing this around the country, but I only read about them in books, and on blogs, and have never actually visited one or seen how it works. But I have a vision for one, and hope to see it emerge into reality some day.