My wife and I finished watching all twelve hours of the Lonesome Dove series
Turning Vision into Reality
In the Lonesome Dove movies, there is a big emphasis on the vision of Captain Woodrow Call, and how he turns his vision into reality.
In Part 1, he starts a cattle ranch in Montana. In Part 2, he brings a herd of wild mustangs to Montana. But in the process, he loses almost all of his friends. At the end, when he finally tells Newt that he is his father, Newt basically says “Too late, Dad. I’m leaving.”
As my wife and I sat there, I thought about my vision for church and theology, and wondered, “What is it worth?”
What is Vision Worth?
I have read and heard some visionaries talk about how you can know what you are meant to do by asking yourself the question, “If money were no object, and failure was impossible, what would you do?” The problem with this is, how do you define failure?
In my opinion, Captain Call successfully accomplished his vision, but failed miserably. He said at the beginning of Part 2, while commiserating about the death of his best friend Captain McCrae, that “A man ought to leave something more behind than a sorry piece of dirt and a sign.”
Captain Call left a lot more behind, and as it turned out, a lot less.
Worthless Vision
Here is where I am at right now: No vision is worth losing my family. I would rather be digging holes in the desert and have my family intact than help reform the church but lose my wife and girls.
Some would say I have made an idol of my wife and girls, and if I really want God to use me, I have to put them up there on the altar just like Abram did with Isaac.
I have seen many pastors do this very thing, and almost without fail, they end up divorced and with a bunch of kids who hate them, hate church, and hate Christ. I do not call this success, and based on what I read in the New Testament, I don’t think God does either.
I feel that my wife and kids are my first “church.” If I cannot “plant” and “pastor” them, I have no business trying to plant or pastor churches elsewhere.
So I don’t know if I will ever be going into formal “church planting” but one thing I do know…this year, I am going to continue planting a church in my own home. And that is a Christ-honoring, God-glorifying vision! If I can leave behind a godly heritage in my family, I am a success. And if God allows me to leave behind more than that, all the more glory for Him!
The trick, of course, is how to bring this vision to reality in my family. Any of you husband and father experts have practical suggestions on pastoring your own family?
I hear you Jeremy! After my wife and I both being in fulltime ministry for the past 6-7 years, and coming very close to total burnout, this is a very good question! And I agree with you, no point “gaining the whole world and yet losing your soul” even in a ministry sense. To me it would be the ultimate failure if I start 1000 churches and then my daughter hates me and God! Its interesting though hey to look at many of the ‘greats’ of church history and see the cost on their families. William Carey is a great example, if I remember correctly he lost 2 wives! and some children to the mission field.
I think its really great that you are asking the question, and like many questions…I dont think there is an easy answer!
This is the first time I have read your blog… I look forward to reading some more!
Ben.
“I feel that my wife and kids are my first church. If I cannot “plant” and “pastor” them, I have no business trying to plant or pastor churches elsewhere”
Not only a great statement – but a great practical and Biblical statement…Good Post!
Jeremy? I don’t know where you stand right now, but I speak from being concerned and have prayed about your struggles in what the Christian faith is. Is it possible that you are going through a crushing experience? Have you ever read the book Gracewalk by Steve McVey? It is a good book. Have you listened to gracewalk radio? Is it possible that the law is still being packaged in some of the teachings of some of the GES without your realizing it? The Bible is sufficient for us, but Pastor McVey’s testimony in the book Gracewalk may encourage you in that the crushing experience may actually be bringing us to rest in Christ alone. I hope this is the case. I grew up in some of the same circles as you did in fundamentalist camps. I still hold to those truths, but have experienced a lot of hurt that the Lord had to strengthen me to look past. Discoverying and resting in the truths of the gracewalk has been very helpful to me and actually has anchored me in those doctrinal truths, yet helped me see past some of the performance based ideas that some of the fundamentalist camps embrace. I want to be careful not to broadbrush. My heart would break to see you embrace some of the ideas of these others from other blogs that are walking away from Christianity.
I’m no expert, but my suggestion of one way of pastoring your family is to allow them to pastor you. Sometimes it’s easier to wash another’s feet than to allow them to wash yours. Along the same lines is looking to see where Christ is working within and through them and honouring Christ where you see Him. These are hardly the only ways, but in my experience they’re the most often forgotten.
Quester,
Interesting suggestion. I sometimes feel so guilty at how much my wife does for me as I sit around on the couch or typing away at my computer. She definitely “pastors” me in a sense. Her love for me spurs me on to serve and love her more as well.
Ahhh the mystery of it all. I think it’s the being there that counts for a lot. Being there for one another is not something to be taken lightly or assumed. The great protestant work ethic for example left many a wife and children with husbands not being there! Work can be an idol for sure. Not to mention the money etc.. And yes. Totally agree!! As with a lot of things, church begins at home. As does charity, and hope. And so much more besides. A man’s home is his castle. And worth due maintenance and defence.