This is a Guest Post by Patti Blount. She is a writer, speaker, artist, and evangelist. She wrote a column, “The Farmer’s Wife” for the Sower publication, the newsletter for Adopt A Farm Family. She has led workshops at Rural Restoration Conferences for the same ministry. Patti has also spoken for women’s groups, prison ministries, and in many churches in India with her husband, Tom. Patti can be contacted through her blog, Great and Unsearchable Things.
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“Love your neighbor as yourself” has always had an uncomfortable feel for me.
It feels selfish to love myself.
Besides, as followers of Jesus, are we not also called to deny ourselves? How can we both love ourselves and also deny ourselves?
The key that is helping me put these two idea together is a greater understanding of God’s love for me. As I learn about His love for me, I have begun to understand what it means to love myself, and accept the reality that I am not being selfish in doing so.
A practical example will show how I am learning this.
I previously committed to having three of my grandchildren spend the night, and I was looking forward to it, and I knew they were too. It had been a long time since any of them had spent the night.
But on the day they were supposed to arrive, I pulled my back out, making it difficult to walk or do much of anything. All such actions caused me great pain.
My first instinct was to emphasize the Scripture which called me to deny myself. Here are the thoughts that went through my brain: “If you really want to deny yourself, you would sacrifice your own pain for your grandchildren. Just think of how disappointed they will be, and after all, you really haven’t had them over in a while. You’ve been selfish. What kind of grandmother will you be remembered as?”
But based on what I am coming to learn about the love of God, these words of accusation did not have the effect on me that they would have had in the past.
God had begun to infuse the love He has for me in my heart, and I was able to ignore the lies and “love myself.”
I was able to still allow the grandchildren to come over, but I did not do it out of fear, guilt, or obligation, but because I wanted to. I knew that God would help me through that time, and He did. I had a great time with my grandchildren.
To find that balance between denying oneself and loving oneself, we must begin with learning about God’s love for us. Only as His river of love flows through us can it then flow out of us to others. When we deny ourselves it is because we love ourselves, and rest confidently in God’s love for us, so that we can love and serve others, not out of guilt or fear, but out of genuine love.
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