Christians generally think that evangelism is a bit like a sporting event, and we are on offense, trying to get past the defenses of others whose “eyes have been blinded by Satan.”
But I have found that when we go on offense, we often become offensive. The problem is not with their defense, but with all the fouls and penalties we commit.
For example, we generally “go for the jugular” by trying to immediately point out the errors and contradictions in the worldview and religious beliefs of others. We give them a Bible, a tract, or some piece of Christian literature, and ask them to read it. We think they will be so persuaded by the weight and logic of our arguments that they cannot help but believe in Jesus for eternal life. And when they aren’t, we say, “Well, you can’t win them all” and move on to our next “target” (aka victim).
I used to operate this way, but am finding that the exact opposite approach is often more effective in opening up serious dialogue. I am not talking about “removing the offense of the cross” but getting rid of the offensive ways we present and share such truths with others. We need a different approach.
Removing the Offense
Rather than try to get my views and beliefs as the topics of discussion, I show genuine interest in the other person and in what they believe. This is not a gimmick! I truly want to know what they believe and why. I do not do this so I can “discover the holes” in their ideas, but so that I can truly get to know them.
Rather than give them my literature, I ask to read theirs. It is amazing how many good ideas and good teachings are found in the books of other religions. When I come across such things, I let my friend know, and praise their literature.
Rather than tell them my views, I ask them to teach me theirs. Rather then explain to them my “plan of salvation” I ask about theirs. I even ask them to critique Christianity, and point out our hypocrisies, our errors, and the holes in our worldview. The bottom line is that I come to them as a student rather than a teacher.
To Be Winsome, You Have to Lose Some
Eventually, the person ask the question, “What do you believe?” If and when that happens, I don’t dump the whole truck on them, but try to do what Jesus did. I will often lay out a teaser statement just to see if they really want to know what I believe, or if they are just trying to be courteous. For example, if they ask what I believe about how people get eternal life, I might say, “I believe anybody and everybody can receive eternal life, no matter what.”
If they raise an objection, then the conversation begins. If they say, “That’s nice” and go on to talk about the New York Giants, I won’t try to press it. Of course, if they say, “That’s ridiculous!” rather than jump on them and their beliefs, I will go go back to being a student: “Yeah, I know it sounds crazy. Why do you think this is?” To be winsome, I don’t need to win every battle.
Go Slow
These conversations never happen all at once over coffee at my kitchen table. Instead, they happen over days, weeks, and months as we live life and develop friendships together. So take your time. Be a friend. Enjoy the ride.
“To Be Winsome, You Have to Lose Some”
Brilliant.
Jesus said something very much like this, as I recall.
I like your approach to evangelism.
Beating someone over the head with scripture does not accomplish much but denting the head of the one you are supposed to love, and messing up a perfectly good bible.
Liked that part too..
Good message.
Steve,
Nice comment…and nice name!
Thanks Jeremy!
I can only take credit for the comment!!
Hey Jeremy,
Appreciate your words…
In Mission studies they often talk about this dynamic as a “truth encounter” versus a “power encounter.” Now, most people think a power encounter is something like driving out demons. Actually, this difference is talking about deciding to follow Jesus based on a logical/rational consideration of truths versus a consideration based on experiences with God or God’s people. It is the objective versus the subjective. And, like it or not, the vast, VAST majority of people who follow Jesus have chosen to based on subjective reasons–they have experienced God, experienced the love, forgiveness or healing from his people, they have experienced a miracle, dream, healing or they have been influenced by people who are very close to them who have decided to follow Jesus (parents, family, friends, etc.).
So, it is funny that we become Christ followers because of our experience and then we turn around go out and try to logically convince people that they should follow him.
Now, I don’t think logical arguments are wrong and neither should we throw them away. Usually subjective experiences bring people to faith, but objective reasoning helps keep them there. And we also see some rational proposals to non-Christians in the Bible (I’m thinking of Peter in Acts, as well as Paul at Mars Hill). But you are right, unfortunately we often end up “beating people up” when we go on the logical offensive.
Friendship evangelism works great. The only problem is that it isn’t friendship and it isn’t evangelism. Plain and simple, if we don’t tell others about Christ while we are waiting for them to ask about Christ then we are complicit in their journey to hell. You can be direct in evangelism without being offensive, but the bible does promise that the message of the cross is folly to those that are perishing.
Being direct about a message with strangers or those you know doesn’t mean you have to be offensive.
If you profess to believe that Christ is the only way to the Father, then how could you not tell as many people as possible?