The Date Jesus Will Return is Finally Revealed!

I know the date that Jesus will return!

I figured it out! The math was always there for people to see, but in these last days, God has seen fit to reveal the truth to me, His chosen prophet, of the exact day that Jesus will return! It is privilege to be the first person on earth who knows when Jesus will return.

Jesus will return

Here is how the Holy Spirit helped me figure it out:

When Jesus will Return According to Daniel 12

First, I was reading the book of Daniel, and noticed that in Daniel 12, Daniel mentions a few different spans of time. In Daniel 12:7 he mentions “time, times, and half a time” which is a prophetic way of saying 3 1/2 years. This is proven by other passages that use similar terminology to refer to 42 months or 1260 days (cf. Rev 11:2-3; 12:6; 13:5 14, Dan 7:25; 12:7).

Later in Daniel 12, he writes about a similar period of time, but this one is 1290 days. Many people have speculated about why this period of time is 30 days longer than the 3 1/2 years mentioned earlier in the chapter, but the reason will be obvious in a moment. But for now, we should also recognize this second period of 1290 days as another 3 1/2 years, though this time is is 43 months.

So you take the 1260 days and the 1290 days and add them together, and you get 2550 days. As all prophecy experts know, this is not referring to days only, which would be about 7 years, but also to a period of time in years. So Daniel is making a prophecy of something that will happen 2550 years in the future. But when did the countdown begin?

Well, thankfully, Daniel tells us. In Daniel 9:25, we are told to begin counting the years until the Messiah comes when the decree goes forth to rebuild Jerusalem. So if we want to know when Jesus will return, we begin counting when the Jewish people were told they could begin rebuilding Jerusalem. When did this happen? This decree first went out under Cyrus in 536 BC.

Remembering that BC years count backward, if we subtract 536 from the 2550 years above, we get the date of….. 2014!!!!!!!!!!

So Jesus will return in 2014!

But we can do better than that, for Daniel is not done. He mentions one other number that must also be considered.

As all Bible students and prophecy experts know, Daniel goes on with some other number in Daniel 12. He does not just mention the 1260 days and the 1290 days, but he ends his book by referring to 1335 days (Daniel 12:12). Now what is this?

prophecy calendarAgain, scholars have tried to determine what the significance is of this last set of numbers in the book,  but to no avail. Why did they have trouble? Because the words of this book had been sealed up until the end of time (Daniel 12:4, 9). But now that the end of time is upon us, the meaning and significance of these words have been revealed to me. I now know not just the year that Jesus will return, but also the very day! And the 1335 in Daniel 12:12 is the key.

We must remember that we operate under the Gregorian calendar. The Hebrew people do not. They have their own calendar, which begins with the creation of the world as “Year 1” and then just starts counting. When Daniel was writing, he would not have used the Gregorian calendar, but the Hebrew calendar. The year 2014 on the Gregorian calendar is the year 5774 on the Hebrew calendar.

Now, there are two other things that must be recognized about the Jewish calendar. First, all their months are only 30 days long. So although their years have twelve months, their years only have 360 days, not 365 like our Gregorian years. To make up for the difference, they have leap years where every so often (7 times in 19 years), they add an entire month to their calendar! The Gregorian leap year simply adds one day to the end of February every four years, but the Jewish calendar adds an entire month on to the end of their leap year. This month is called “Adar 2” and is considered to be a lucky month.

Lucky indeed, for it is when Jesus will return! How do we know? Because that is what the 13 means in the number 1335 mentioned in Daniel 12:12. As we saw above, the year that Jesus returns will be the Jewish year 5774 (our year 2014), and that year happens to be a leap year. The Jewish year 5774 is a leap year, and so it will have 13 months! This explains the first part of that final number, 1335.

But what about the 35?

Well, guess what month the Jewish leap month of Adar 2 falls on? That’s right, March! March is, of course, the 3rd month in our calendars! God, in His infinite wisdom, knew not only to include the Jewish year and month, but also the Gregorian year and month. Why? Because Jesus will return not just in fulfillment of Jewish prophecies, but for Christian prophecies as well, and to bring peace to the whole world.

But we still have one number left, the 5 in 1335. By now, it should be obvious what the 5 refers to. It is tell us the exact day that Jesus will return – the 5th day of March.

So all of these numbers show this:

Jesus will return on March 5, 2014!

You might be wondering why I know this is correct and why God chose to reveal this to me instead of to you. We’ll I’ll tell you why. I have three daughters. Two of them, the first and the third, were born on March 5. Is it coincidence that the date on which Jesus will return is the very day on which He chose to have two of my daughters be born? How rare is it to have two children (who are not twins) born on the same exact day! It is extremely rare, but in God’s providence, it now makes sense why He did that, because He wanted to use it as a sign to show me the day that Jesus will return.

And just one final confirmation. I decided to see if there was any evidence online that Jesus will return on March 5, 2014. So I punched that date into Google, and I clicked on the very first search result. Where did it take me? To a page that had almost nothing on it, but this:


Wow! Can you believe it?

…No, you probably can’t.

Yeah, I don’t either.



This whole post was a prank.

Well, not the part about me having two daughters born on March 5. That part is true. But the rest is completely false and fabricated….

I wrote this post because the July 2013 synchroblog theme was to share a story about the best prank you have ever done. I have pulled a few pranks growing up, but rather than share them, decided to pull a little prank right here on my blog. Usually the synchroblog topics are pretty heavy, but since it is summer, we decided to lighten things up a bit. This is my attempt.

I hope you enjoyed reading it as much I enjoyed writing it! If you want a few other laughs, try some of the other contributors to this month’s synchroblog:

March 6, 2014 Update: Obviously, Jesus did not return on March 5, 2014. I never thought He would, of course. As I stated above, this entire post was just a prank for the summer synchroblog. A little light-hearted fun.

But be warned: There are many out there who will want to set dates and declare that they know when Jesus will return. Don’t believe them! They don’t know! Not even the angels know. People who set dates are usually trying to manipulate you into following their ministry, supporting them financially, or accepting them as some sort of authority in your life. Don’t get sucked in!

I am reminded of something one of my seminary professors told me: “We must live each day as if Jesus is coming tomorrow, but plan as if He will not return in our lifetime.” Good advice.

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  1. mark says

    I was pretty sure you were “prankin'” right from the beginning. You actually have a “tone” in your satirical writing (ie. your fishing book), that isn’t present in your sincere thoughts… I’m not sure how else to elaborate, but perhaps you and others already know what I’m talking about.

    BTW, you had a typo in your last paragraph before the big countdown clock… YOU GOT THE DATE WRONG there (2013, instead of the “actual” 2014)! Ha!

    Funny. You must have had fun writing it… otherwise you prob. wouldn’t have bothered, eh?

      • Therese says

        I am glad this was a prank you don’t know me but this stuff scared me. As a Christian I’m so sick of sickos doing this to the body of Christ. No man will know when The Lord will return. I can appreciate the humour behind this.

      • Young Fab says

        So today is April 23, 2014. When I read that he will return, according to you, on March 5, 2014 I was getting ready to comment “well you must be feeling really stupid right now.” LOL then I saw it was a joke, nice one ! It would have really weird if he had returned on March 5th LOL. Good day man !

      • .428571 says

        apparently you don’t take the Word (logos) very seriously, however your definitely on the right course in Daniel and creation mathematics might give you a better clue here the 70 weeks are matched to the ministry, death and martyr of steven to start the church age 7 year long week. but another date is figured too the 2300 hundred days of the cleansing of the sanctuary but not in time.. in division, fractal numbers notice that seven is a number related to God, 33 is number that is tied to Christ by many verses numbered 33, 360 is the days of Hebrew calendar divide 360 by 7 and you get the only fractal number 1-10 are whole. 51.428571 also god showed me this number and is in exact sequence in every personal id numbers given to me SS, date and month of birth, year of birth two state identifiers and 3 different school ids that’s 7 and when divided by seven ea has a fractal remainder that is infinite so that’s 490,000,00 to one odds of probability I would have better odds winning 3 lottos in a row. this was God first leading personally through the book of Daniel 2 .5 years continuously…. so take 2300 divide by 33 for the first advent then divide again and you get 2.112029 look like a date? research the catholic feast calendar of that date and you’ll find the 50th sunday of fifty years celebration also the seven times curse is in perfect sequnce we had what in 2001? and what in 2008? now 2015 should have a curse of disobedience then 2022 then 2028 coincidence or perfect order? give em a date that they can understand in truth not your guess

    • Andrei says

      At first I thought he was serious. Then when I read the end, I thought he came up with the prank excuse because he was wrong lol. It is very interesting though. God bless him. Lord please prepare us ALL.

  2. Andrew Barker says

    Jeremy, Dan Brown would be proud of this piece. Not sure if that’s so much of a compliment, but you know what I mean! :)

  3. Vince Latorre says

    Now all you have to do is come up with “2014 reasons why….” and you’ll have a book! :) Oh , and did you take into account the fact that century years are not leap years unless divisible by 400?

    Also, I may not know the day, but I know the hour, it will be 2 a.m.. The problem is, I haven’t figured out where it will be 2 a.m. yet.

  4. says

    You may think you’re joking, but actually God is speaking TRUTH through you, even if you don’t know it. (God even spoke through the mouth of a donkey remember). And Jesus rode on a donkey, remember. So remember, even if you don’t believe you are a chosen prophet. You might be. And this is true. It will be next year on the 5th march. Where is your temple? I want to come and worship you :)

  5. Sam says

    You made a terrible mistake and obviously put the end of another post on the end of this one. Isn’t this one supposed to end with “Sell everything you have and send me the money so I can get the word out to everyone so they will have a chance to repent before March 5”?

    Isn’t it amazing how such “calculations” almost always manage to convince someone? Instead of trying to figure out when “Jesus will return”, it might be well to consider that any moment might be our last, especially if we choose to text and drive. (Yes, a texter doing 70 narrowly missed me on the freeway today. They’re worse than drunks!)

  6. cking398 says

    Not true….. I am already here christopher holmes king 29/11/1973 born in neuilly, france, 90 degree angle to christ angle as found in great pyramids read my blog please follow order at the bottom of your screen of missing links, if you do not want to watch the full video of the pyramids, LINK A, at least watch from 1:18 to 1:20 2 mins please my lucky number is 2, before proceeding to link B. thank you.

    I know why they did not find the missing link and so do you :-)

    God is great
    Praise God


    chris (without the T this time :-) xx

  7. says

    In 1988, I guess, there was a prediction that Christ would return on my birthday – I was, in part excited, I mean what a great present and at the same time scared.

    You made a good case to begin with there but I knew you’d chuck a twist into the thing.
    Nice job.

  8. almo says


    Read Hoshea 4:6; and regarding this day in the gospels there is a
    statement made by the one you all call “Jesus“ The ONE I know HE will
    come back on the day that no man knows (it has a
    few other names); how come you all worked this out…?

    HE said no man knows.

    Maybe you ought to read, study hard and try to find out what
    does this “the day that no man knows” mean.

    HE didn’t lie when HE said these words did HE?


    PS If anyone is truly interested to know about HIS RETURN please let me know (I do not know the exact day and hour but I know the season)

    1 Thessalonians
    5:1 But concerning the times and the seasons, brethren, you have no need that I should write to you.
    5:2 For you yourselves know perfectly that THE DAY OF YHVH so comes as a thief in the night.

    • says

      Nobody is laughing at the idea that Jesus will return. We know He will. We are laughing at the idea that people can predict when He will return… and make money off it in the process..

    • .428571 says

      yes but God does tell us that we will have everything we need to know and the mystery will be finished as spoke by the seventh angel as he is about to sound there will be know mystery hidden to a true Christian as the lawless one is revealed also surley God does nothing unless he reveals it to his servants the prophet’s

    • says

      I am not mocking the date of Jesus return. I am mocking those pastors and preachers who try to use silly headlines and fancy math to predict the date of Jesus return.

      Anyway, God has had mercy on my soul. Thanks.

      • Spiritoftruth says

        Mockery is not the way of God but the Devil. It is written those whom mock shall mourn, what spirit does thou think inspired your article. Presentation of deception cometh through the spirit of lies not the spirit of truth. It is written their laugher shall turn to mourning. The world time is running out the Son of man is upon the earth soon to open the seals, the day of burning at end of the tribulation when comes in his glory is another event, even so many shall not see the Son until the time of judgement, but the chosen few shall see him before. Pray for forgiveness of your offences, for mankind does many offences against God even without realising it.

  9. David L. says

    Signs seen by family and friends plus the 11th hour passage from the Doctrine and Covenants all point to 2014. Watch for rainbows come January…

  10. John says

    Hello Jeremy, I was fascinated by your comment, “I am not mocking the date of Jesus return. I am mocking those pastors and preachers who try to use silly headlines and fancy math to predict the date of Jesus return.” Suppose however that you were chosen as the first person to be granted insight and understanding of “the day and the hour” do you really think it would be as a privilege? Certainly those you mock would also mock you as would the countless number of those who interpret this scripture to their flocks as a proof that no one among us can no the “day or the hour”. In the face of such tremendous opposition perhaps having understanding of such things might be more of a tremendous burden than a privilege. However that being said I trust that such insight is available to anyone who seeks out the Holy Spirit with all earnest. It would seem to me that before the news of “that day and hour” can be received that those who claim to represent the holy spirit and yet keep the chaos and division thriving would first have to be gathered into one place where war could be waged against them in order that they should be overcome by the very spirit they have claimed to represent. What do you think they would do to you should you posses such truth in order to hang on to what they think they have? I am all but convinced in Christ that that very “day and hour” was revealed to all.

    • says

      Every pastor who thinks they know the day and hour thinks they have been given this special insight and knowledge. But Jesus Himself said that we will not know the day and hour. I am going to go with Jesus on this one. Most often, those who predict the day and hour do more damage to the cause of Christ than good.

      • Jesus says

        Amen. & Thank you for stating that Jeremy.

        I’m back, and you are correct.

        People seem to think that they know when I’ll be returning, and yes, they do tremendous damage, not only to themselves, with their Ego, but also to the Fellowship, this planet and Myself included.

        Hallelujah! I’ve become again!


      • gabe says

        That’s true. Because its says the the earth would be ended by fire. But before it happened, jesus would come down from heaven and all believes of Christ would be taken from the ground and sent to heaven to be with our lord. Then Satan would be released from hell to take everyone else to hell then earth would be set on fire so god can make the world perfect so no one would ever sin

  11. Neo says

    Jeremy Myers you probably have heard of me by a man who called himself
    Morpheus. I almost believed you. I was like shit, crap, 2014? I have not yet clean myself. Phew March 2014? Okay I have a bit of time and now I figure out you was mocking. Nobody mock me. Try that again I will find you and I will fight you. I will beat you ass like I did to Agent Smith in the movie. LOL

    Nice joke. You had me there and like you said nobody knows when Jesus will return. Jesus alone know when he will return.

    Have a good Happy New Year 😀

  12. nichole says

    I was about to say because if jesus does not know the day and time nor the angels what makes you think GOD is going to tell you and not his son that is perfect …

  13. Sam says

    Responding to the last three comments – This is satire, which is using humor to expose the stupidity of so many people who think they have figured out the date of Jesus’ return. Wasn’t it Harold Camping who claimed to have figured out the exact date on more than one occasion and told people to send him money (some sent their life savings, which he never refunded when he was proven wrong).

    Notice that Jeremy clearly says it is a joke. He is not asking for money or anything else. It’s a humorous effort to tell us to believe no one who says they have figured out when Jesus will return. I know some people don’t understand humor. My mother was one of those people. She could be in a room filled with one thousand people. 999 would be laughing hilariously and my mother would be stone-faced because she did not understand the concept of humor.

  14. J Kirk says

    i already knew this was a prank from the beginning just by the fact that you stated that god chose you to tell the prophecies of the lord, when in reality only god knows, and only god will show the signs of the lords second coming, the rapture and the great tribulation is imminent, and i have but one question for you jeremy….. are you ready?

  15. hasard says

    I will tell you THank you for this message that was really right it was a message and thats how god gives message and that was his signature “birth of your daughters” thanks a lot, who can belive it!!!

  16. Khan Majeed says

    Of course it is a prank – a cruel one for that. It also debases the Christian God, who begot a son (imagine !) then killed him (but was actually himself – imagine !) what happened to the holy ghost ? – probably sleeping (imagine !). You christians why dont you seek the TRUTH instead ? Which is God does not beget as God is eternal no beginning and no end and creation when dies – it is finished on earth – nobody returns.

    • says

      The joke is only cruel for those who serve a cruel god…. and there are many Christians who do. But that god is not the God revealed in Jesus Christ.

      As for the rest of your statements, they reveal a deep misunderstanding of Christian theology on every level, and so do not warrant a response.

      • Khan Majeed says

        Yes, I know the Father God killed his son god Jesus – not so cruel isn’t it? And the Father god who could easily FORGIVE the humanity or he does not have the power to do that? Shedding blood to wash sins is a pagan tradition and belief.
        This is the Christian theology isn’t it ? If not kindly explain to me. Father god let his son god (actually himself because christian god needs to be one also) to be crucified to pay for his mistake. Son god Jesus last words are “Oh God OH God why have you foresaken me” a blasphemy if you relate to Prophet Job (in bible) and how he suffered quitely.

        • says


          It appears you have only been reading some Muslim books about what Christians believe. If you really want to know what Christians believe, I invite you to read some books written by Christians. If I want to learn what a Muslim believes, I do not read Christian books about it. I read Muslim books.

          No, we do not believe that God killed Jesus. The Scriptures are clear that people put Jesus to death; not God.

          No, I do not believe that the shedding of blood washes away sins. Some Christians might believe this, but it is not explicitly taught in Scripture, and there are many other views on how the “atonement” worked and what the death of Jesus accomplished. I believe that God forgives freely and completely out of His great love for us. I agree with you that the idea that blood washes away sin is a pagan idea which is not what Jesus accomplished on the cross.

          And no, Jesus was not speaking blasphemy on the cross or even complaining about dying. He was expressing the separation from God which all humans experience as part of our being in sinful flesh. This was a new experience for Jesus, and His words express the anguish of such separation.

          Now look, I appreciate your interaction on my blog, but please refrain from spamming multiple comments all over the place. I don’t mind people disagreeing with what I write and asking questions, but spammers get blocked.

  17. Khan Majeed says

    Jesus return it seems is a joke for you and many Christians. Jesus said in bible no one knows about the end time but it looks like by predicting you are putting the God in your pocket – sort of saying you cant fool me I can still predict.

  18. Khan Majeed says

    Oh comeon,
    God’s son took the sins of the world….. – read bible. It only happened because father god had planned it all along. Remember last days of Jesus? He spelled out every thing in advance!!!
    I have all the Christian Bibles (Protestant KJV with 66 books and Catholic bible with 77 books) and why should I read books from Christians? When I have all the bibles.
    Remember “god loved the world so much that he gave his only begotten son……….”
    Remember “sins of your fathers are on him and inequities of others are on them…….”
    So how jesus could have atoned others death?
    You can find justification for all sayings and situations but that is not what solves the problems.
    Instead, you should seek the TRUTH ie. the AL-TRUTH that is what will set you free.
    With best wishes to your soul,

    • says


      Thank you for the best wishes. The so-called problems with Christian beliefs come not from the Bible, but from people who misread, misquote, misunderstand, and misrepresent what the Bible teaches.

      The first verse you quoted (John 3:16) says nothing about about God killing His Son. It says that God so loved the world that He gave His Son so that whosoever believes in Him might have everlasting life. There is nothing there (or in the surrounding context) about God killing anybody.

      As to the second verse you quoted, do you know a Bible reference for that? I do not recognize it as coming from the Bible. Maybe you were trying to quote Deuteronomy 24:16 or Ezekiel 18:20? But both say that fathers will not be put to death for their children, nor children for their fathers.

      So again, I urge you, if you want to argue against Christian theology, that is fine, but first learn what Christians actually believe and teach.

  19. geordann schilling says

    You had me worried!!! Lol. I was freaking out. And other wise thinking well if Jesus doesn’t know when how can he tell you.
    God bless you and your family.

  20. zamba says

    you should be ashamed of making fun of God. What about the weak who believe this rubblish. They will suffer because of your sin

    • says

      The only weak person who will believe this rubbish is the person who didn’t read to the end where I state it is all a big joke for April fool’s day. Based on your comment, I am not sure you read to the end….

  21. says

    So was all the math you did correct? Or was it all made up to sell the joke? It seemed convincing man. Have you read other books banned from the Bible? Enoch intrigues me but so many Christians & others see it as pagen non-cannocial teachings.

  22. Amira says

    Imagine if your prank was correct?

    If every person in the world took a shot at predicting it, maybe one will guess it?

    We will soon know! March 5 is not far away! The weather has also been strange.

  23. Jazz says

    This seriously scared the living crap out of me! until i read the end i was like, oh-okay hes just joking phew! but still, thinking about Jesus coming back scares me, i always doubt my self, whether im going to get left behind or if he is going to take me up with him, but thank you for making me smile :)

    • says

      Lots of scared of His return. If you have believed in Jesus for eternal life, there is no reason to be scared.

      Of course, I wonder if Jesus wants anyone to be afraid of his return…. Maybe those who are his outright enemies should be afraid, but for everyone else, it seems fear is antithetical to everything about Jesus… I need to think more on this.

      • T. DeVonna Runkel says

        When I was a new Christian and first heard about the rapture, I asked God if it will be ‘scary’ being suddenly zapped up to meet Him in the sky. I almost felt Him laugh/chuckle at me and answer “No no no you will not be afraid. It will be Glorious and Joyful”
        I was called to be a prayer (Intercession/person who prays a lot) when I was still a new Christian, and soon learned how satan (No, spell-check I won’t capitalize it’s name) uses ‘fear’ to try to stop us from praying/serving God. Fear is satans nature as Love is Gods nature. (Not talking about healthy fear of touching a hot stove etc.) So when I’ve felt that fear try to come on me, like a Buffalo always turns to face the wind, I pray TWICE, four times as much!! I appreciate your daily messages and keep them all in a file with your name so I can go back and re-read or save to read later). I had lots of laughs reading the comments! God Bless!! †

  24. Kevinanner Davis says

    You never know when he is coming back like last year people thought he was coming back. He might come at 12clock u never know that why it IG good to be prepared. I am young and I know that know one know when he is coming back even the Angles in HEAVEN don’t even know

  25. Nicco says

    You seriously pranked me? I knew it was fake because it is past march 5th. Dude, I really want to trace your IP address and find where you live and go to your house and torture you. But I won’t because I don’t know how and because I forgive you. I hope you are happy.

    • Andrei says

      Imagine their pain once The King is here. Their shame. Oh Lord have mercy on them. I Love God for everything He is and especially because He is just. Sometimes, knowing Truth is more punishing than physical punishment. God help us all! Every knee will bow and declare He is LORD. I Love Truth.

  26. KayBee says

    You are part of the false prophet. You are drawing yourself to drink from the wine of the wrath of the Almighty God.
    Repent, and you will receive the Holy Spirit who will guide you into all truth.
    No one knows time, even Himself Jesus Christ Himself., but only the Father. Who do you think you are, claiming that you know time yourself.?

  27. says


    • says

      Thanks, Tony.

      Just as a heads up …. when you write in ALL CAPS online, it makes people think you are yelling at them. You might want to turn off your caps lock.

      • candria says

        LOL! I read this on 3/31/14 I got to the end and started cracking up. People need to lightin up God is a good God and he does have a sense of humor. I know this because he said we are all made in his image. So God can be happy sad and Im sure he didn’t give us humor where he has none. We are not Gods but we have the same emotions as our creator. Its ok to laugh God didn’t want us to act like bitter trolls. And he wants us to be people just take it as a joke.He didn’t make a joke of God he was just being funny. I laugh at stupid things all the time. I love humor. The world would be a lot beter if people would just laugh at others and not get mad about petty stuff. Great joke! cant wait to here your next one! Sorry about the bad spelling Im not a typer. Maybe you will think that is funnyand have a good laugh..Its from a Oklahoma education LOL! anyway thanks for making me laugh. Have a great April fulls day!

        • says

          Yeah. Can you believe how angry some people get at this post?! People do need to lighten up. Glad you enjoyed it. I usually put up an April fool’s day post, but not this year. (I forgot).

  28. Jesus says

    Reality is you didn’t think it was your own joke until after 5th of March 2014. You believed it and now find yourself an excuse. The Lord has no time for JOKES. It is out of place for a Christian.
    Ephesians 5:4
    New International Version (NIV)
    “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.”
    The Gospel has no time for jokes and laughs when the world is in crisis, people are dying without food, nations are at war, and hearts are turned away from God. In Noah’s time people were laughing and making Jokes of Noah’s message too. They all perished.

    • says

      No jokes?!

      One of the things that drew people to Jesus was His sense of humor. Joy, laughter, and joking is a healthy part of the Christian life. There is a vast difference between joking and coarse joking.

      You have God’s permission to laugh more.

    • candria says

      You need to lightin up God did say Eat ,drink and be merry he didn,t say be a troll you are taking that out of context and you need to learn what God is really like. He is a loving God that wants people to be happy full of (joy of the Lord) So please stop judging that is not your place!

  29. Chris says

    I’m all for good natured fun and humor, but pranks and sarcasm have the tendency to harm people. I understand your intention, but this style of teaching or message, especially in written form, is a real turn off, ugly in my opinion. Brings about so many negative responses. It just does not seem to glorify Christ or advance The Kingdom in a positive manner if that would happen to be a goal of this blog ministry. This type of post obviously generates a lot of comments, so if that was your goal, you achieved that.

      • Chris says

        I do not see that I have assumed anything here. Is it not true that this blog got a more than average amount of comments? Is having blog content that generates comments a goal you have in mind when creating your post? I believe I am stating my perception of the blog and comments, and giving you an opinion of what I have read. When I feel moved to comment, I give an honest opinion. Some blogs move me to comment in a very positive light and others not so positive. Do you not want honest comments or feedback?

  30. Andrei says

    The Bible says no one knows the day or the hour but does that mean we could know the rest? Week, month, year? I have a feeling he might be coming in 2014. Either way, Jesus prepare us all!

  31. candria says

    Its Ok some people have no sense of humor. They think they are a true Christian and have love for their brother or sister in the mean time they are being judgemental. But we can’t let negative behavior effect our life where we have nothing to laugh about. I myself love being a Christian. I laugh more and love more than I ever did. I know I have (Joy of the Lord) we’re humans not trolls. So people just laugh it makes things so much better. God bless!

  32. says

    Soon after beginning to read your blog I realised that it was a load of rubbish. The Jewish year normally has 354 days since Jewish months have either 29 or 30 days alternating. But it is reasonable to think Jesus Christ will return when the world is 6,000 years old, and according to my e-book ‘The True Chronology of the Old Testament, which is on Amazon, the world will be 6,000 years old on 1st Tishri 2014. The chronology has three symmetries of time. There were 430 years from when Abraham went to Egypt until the Exodus, and Jacob went to Egypt exactly in the middle of this period. There were 1,000 years from the Exodus to the fall of Jerusalem to the Babylonians, and David was born exactly in the middle of this period. There were 4,016 years from the creation of the world to the death of Jesus Christ, and Abraham was born exactly in the middle of this period. These give me confidence that the chronology is correct. I don’t know the day or hour of Jesus’ return (Matt 24.36), but I think it will be a few days after 1st Tishri 2014 (24th September).

    Jesus’ return must be very soon because he said all things would be fulfilled ‘in this generation’, and that generation must include the time when the Israelis captured Jerusalem in the 1967 Six-day war. At this time Jerusalem stopped being trodden down by the Gentiles. A generation is 50 years, so the second coming will take place in 2017 at the latest. The prophecy of Judah ben Samuel in about 1200 also indicates that Messiah will come by 2017 at the latest, so the most likely time is when the world will be exactly 6,000 years old, which it will be on 24th September 2014.

      • says

        I copied this from my website,, and hope you find it informative.

        Jesus said to them, ‘Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled’ (Matthew 24.34).

        When the disciples heard Jesus say this, they probably thought he would return in their own generation, meaning before they had died. However it is now clear that Jesus could not have been referring to the generation living at the time when he said these words, because he did not return before that generation had died. He must therefore have been referring to the generation who would be alive when the Jews regained Jerusalem. So Jesus will return within one generation of 1967. A generation is rather a vague length of time, generally thought to be 30 or 40 years, but if a generation was 40 years, Jesus would have returned by 2007 at the latest.

        A generation can also be thought of as the number of years from the birth of a father to the birth of the last of his children. Most fathers have had the last of their children by the time they are 40 years old, a few have had the last of their children by the time they are about 50 years old, and very few beget any children after they are 50 years old. Therefore the length of the generation Jesus was referring to could have been 50 years. It is interesting to note that 50 years is the time from one jubilee to the next.

        If a generation is taken to be 50 years, the second coming will take place by 2017 at the latest. According to my chronology 1st Tishri 2017 is 6,003 years after the Creation. Considering that after Jesus has returned to the earth he will reign for 1,000 years, it is clear that the most likely year that he returns will be on about 1st Tishri 2014, when the world is exactly 6,000 years old.

        • Ann Small says

          Thanks for trying, Roger, but if Jesus (who is God) was not told by his Father (who is God) the exact date of his own return, I think we should be content with the vague word “generation” and assume it means our own. Further, I think this would make the Spirit (who is God) very happy and if God is happy so am I. :) Keep working for Jesus!

    • Sam says

      If you read all the post and the comments, you will see that this post is SATIRE, which is using humor to expose people who think they have figured out the exact date of Jesus’ return. Wasn’t it Harold Camping who claimed to have figured out the exact date on more than one occasion and told people to send him money (some sent their life savings, which he never refunded when he was proven wrong).

      Jeremy clearly says it is a joke. He is not asking for money or anything else. It’s a humorous effort to tell us to believe no one who says they have figured out when Jesus will return. I know some people don’t understand humor. My mother was one of those people. She could be in a room filled with one thousand people. 999 would be laughing hilariously and my mother would be stone-faced because she did not understand the concept of humor.

      When you say a “load of rubbish” I am taking that to mean that you understood the post to be satire, not a serious attempt to establish the date Jesus will return.

      • says

        When I began reading this blog I thought Jeremy was claiming to have worked out the date of Jesus’ return, and it was only when I got to the clock that I realised that it was a joke. He has a point. There are sites where someone is claiming prophetic knowledge, and its pretty obvious right from the start. However on this occasion it was different. I was casually googling to see if there were any other sites that had predicted the return of Jesus Christ in 2014, because I too had made that prediction. Then I saw Jeremy’s site and wondered how he had come to this conclusion. Then I read about adding two numbers of days together, 1260 and 1290, and calling them 2550 years, and saying that Jesus Christ would return 2550 years after 536 BC, I thought that was bonkers, and I hope you also think its bonkers. Incidentally, counting 2550 years from 536 BC comes to 2015, because 536 BC should be treated as -535, there being no 0 BC.
        Concerning Harold Camping, when I discovered the basis of his prediction, I thought that too was a load of rubbish. Those people who believed him must be really stupid.
        Concerning my sense of humour, I don’t really mind if people don’t think I have one.
        Concerning the date Jesus Christ will return, it is logical to think he will return when the world is 6,000 years old, and the only way we can find this date out is from the chronology of the Old Testament. It is logical because God created the world in 6 days and rested on the 7th, and with God a thousand years is as 1 day, and 1 day as 1,000 years (Peter 3.8). This suggests that the first 6,000 years of the world’s existence have been given to mankind, to do as he pleases, and following this there will be 1,000 years when Jesus Christ will rule, and instead of the chaos and injustice of man’s rule there will be justice and peace. In my chronology there were 1,000 years from the Exodus to the fall of Jerusalem to the Babylonians, and this 1,000 year period confirms that the 1,000 years in Revelation 20 is real not symbolic as many would have us believe.

        So I’m telling people to get ready for the return of Jesus Christ in October 2014, by turning to God through Jesus Christ and accepting that he is the only begotten Son of God who suffered for the sins of the world, and who will give to those who believe in him, when they are raised up at the last trump, his righteousness, so that they will no longer be sinners but sons of God. Praise be to God and to his Son Jesus!

        • David says

          Could very well be 5th October 2014 when we reach the final jubilee year (120th jubilee).Genesis 6:3 And the LORD said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years. 120 Jubilee years, not years of man. A jubilee year is celebrated every 50 years (Leviticus 25).120 X 50 = 6000. God commanded man to work six days and rest on the seventh (Exodus 35:2). In the Bible it says; ‘with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years is as one day’ (2 Peter 3:8). Was God saying He has given man 6000 years to rule the earth. Check out this website

    • says

      I’m not going to argue with you … mainly because I just don’t care, but also because you took this post way too seriously. Of course it was rubbish! That’s what all this date setting is…

  33. Asyta says

    Jesus has arrived. The task of rebuilding the world with perfectness has commenced. His goal is to bring the entire world under one roof i.e., world beyond boundaries and unite the people of the world as one beyond any race, color, language, nationality and religion.

  34. My Name says

    There is no rush. Just wait and give everything time to develop. If it was you why the hurry? Nothing is the end but the beginning of the end and the beginning of something greater then you could imagine. All will be reveled in a shorter time then you know but maybe you are some what correct in your joke.

  35. Michel Fransman says

    You have no idea how close you are… 2014 is correct. The exact date is not revealed to anyone yet.

  36. Char says

    Shame On You…This is how cults get started and innocents die. Every vibrational word, thought and act has an impact on us ALL. What you put out there MATTERS, choose your words WISELY and always with the greater good in mind. God has enough competition getting heard, without your help!

    • says

      Shame on you for not reading the whole post… that is how cults get started and people die, when they think they know what a person is saying, but they don’t have any clue because they fail to do their homework and understand what a person is actually saying.

  37. norma rose says

    Hi,actually I’m not believing about what they. said about the time god is coming.
    nobody know that the hour has come. Jesus he promise he will return soon he go to prepare
    a place for us but we need to prepared ourself clean our sin asked forgoverness what we did wrong
    And god accept us when. He. will return just have patien and live with peace. and don’t. Listen. what people say
    Understand the bible. what he write thanks and god and blessed you all.

  38. david says

    What a joke. The Bible says that “no one knows the day or the hour.”
    To even joke about such things shows the pathetic nonsense in this young man’s life.
    Get a life. True up or shut up.

    The Bible does say that it is “a shame for a man to have long hair.”
    Get a haircut you ungrateful hippy!

    • says

      Ha! You made me laugh today. Thank you.

      Did it ever occur to you that I have long hair because of what I read in 1 Corinthians 11:14? I certainly don’t have long hair because I like it…

  39. Dion says

    Sir, do you think your prank was worthy of the Lord? Do you not think for one moment that those who do not follow Him will now have more than enough reason to suggest that you are “just another so-called Christian whose gone off the rails” and thus having caused damage to His message? For what purpose did you publish your “prank”? Why did you deem it necessary????

    • says

      God has a sense of humor, and as one who bears the image of God, I have a sense of humor also. Those who have no sense of humor are missing out on much of what God wants them to see in life. I believe God laughed along with me at this joke… and is laughing still.

  40. Lutek says

    My hair is almost as long as yours now, because the self-flagellating attitude displayed in your last comment has inspired me to try to better your humility. However, subsequent comments are making me re-think my approval of your pseudo-messiahship and see the error of my ways. Before I call my barber, I just want to ask you – do you really think God has a sense of humor? Get serious. He is made in our image! Oops, sorry. I mean, we are made in his image! If he had a sense of humor, wouldn’t we all be laughing, instead of being the sticks-in-the-mud that he requires us to be? You remind me of the false messiah portrayed in Monty Python’s thought-provoking film, “The Life of Brian.” You and your kind may be all different, but I assure you, sir, that I’m not.

      • Lutek says

        I was just picking up some of the silliness that has developed here and seeing how far I could run with it. The last line in my comment refers to a scene in The Life of Brian. Most visitors to this site probably haven’t seen the movie because it was widely criticized as blasphemous when it first came out. It really isn’t, but I admit that it left me uncomfortable the first time I saw it.
        This must be one of the longest-running April Fool’s jokes on record!

  41. Christ says

    Sure, good laugh!!! But, to make some people understand something, Jesus is not going to come back to earth ever. As he said, you will meet him when your time is right. He also said that he is to far removed from this spiritual realm, and it would be very difficult for him to return to earth. Sorry to have to tell you this. But as he said it is time to share with the world the truth and what will happen. He loves you all as you who believe love him.

  42. sunny says

    Well as a muslim and respecting much of what is written in the old and new testament , im awaiting Jesus to come. He has been my role model since I was young. If he request me to be by his sides , I’ll leave everything to be his servant if God give me this favour and this comes from the depth of my heart.

    • perfectchild says

      Umm… you’ll wait forever, Sunny. All animals die. Yes, we’re animals. As the Koran mentioned, Jesus did not Resurrect – and so for St Paul, the religious-transvestite; it was all worthless.

      However, fortunately, the never-fading commandment is to ‘love God with all your heart mind and soul, and love the kuffar as yourself.’ If you can do this, to live and let live and not force your religion upon anyone – you’ll be a bad Muslim but a good person. And you won’t need to hold Jesus’ hand – for you would have found the truth that sets you free.

  43. perfectchild says

    I’m so glad it wasn’t long to read to get to the punch-line.

    I was simply researching the Roman Pagan Cult of Father, Son and Holy Ghost – the three bases to cover for their all-encompassing new Truth Religion.

    If everything you do is inadequate:… unworthy rags for God… have to wait upon The Spirit to arrive to make what should have been a under a millisecond decision… and be less a person than Jesus… the more pathetic the lookalike soundalikes the better… well, COME TO MOMMA! Church 1 Individual 0

    Pity then, you did not complete the picture with rationalizing the irrational. (So please, don’t waste any more of my time. :))

  44. Jason says

    I’m sure everyone, having studied God’s word, receives instant memory of what the Bible says, as I do, every single time some ‘crazy’ pops up claiming to know the day Jesus is returning. Jesus said that no person can know the day, not even him. That always rushes to the front of my mind when I hear or of someone claiming a date. So, it practically clears that specific day. As if to say, you take a break from watching for Jesus on that day, lol.

  45. says

    The return of Christ is far too serious an issue to be joked about and your idea of a “prank” is downright disrespectful of our Saviour. Remember, whatever a man sows, that shall he also reap. Joke about something more frivolous if you wish, but not about our Holy God!!

    • Sam says

      Replying to several of the last comments:

      There are so many comments on this post that you probably did not have time to read through them. Please note that this is SATIRE, which is using humor to expose the stupidity of so many people who think they have figured out the date of Jesus’ return. There have been many who predicted specific dates over them past 2,000 years. So far every one of them has been wrong.

      Wasn’t it Harold Camping who claimed to have figured out the exact date on more than one occasion and told people to send him money (some sent their life savings, which he never refunded when he was proven wrong).

      Notice that Jeremy clearly says it is a joke. He is not asking for money or anything else. It’s a humorous effort to tell us to believe no one who says they have figured out when Jesus will return. I know some people don’t understand humor. My mother was one of those people. She could be in a room filled with one thousand people. 999 would be laughing hilariously and my mother would be stone-faced because she did not understand the concept of humor.

  46. Mark says

    Those people who claim to have dreams or visions of Jesus coming soon…I have heard this nonsense for OVER 45 years. The hitchhikers who vanish after talking about the rapture…Dr Richard Eby claiming he would not die before Jesus came back. I can promise one thing. Jesus will come back before I ever darken the door of a church.

  47. robbie vincent says

    i didnt have to read very far into it to realise it was bogus but found it sort of amusing but it did however get the point through that nobody will ever know the exact time or in whos generation jesus will return but as clearly stated he will without any doubt return !!!!

  48. says

    Where have you been? His 2nd coming was shortly after His resurrection! Remember He said to Mary touch me not I will go to my Father and then return to start the church age. He presented Himself the perfect sacrifice to the Father and then returned to marshal the disciples together to wait for the infilling of the Holy Spirit to power their ministry of world wide spreading of the gospel. No doubt he will return again! Only the Father knows when.

  49. William Steeves says

    I Knew it was a prank when i say the days because in the bible 1 Millenium is 1 day in god eyes told in 2 Peters 3:8 so when u said a 2,550 days

    that would equal
    2,550 days x 1,000 years = 2,550,000 years in our eye

    2,550,000 years – 536 years= 2,549,464 in our eye not 2014

    and in god eye that would be 2,549.464 days

  50. Derek says

    Not sure God would appreciate you joking on such a subject, truth is you got it wrong so you said it was only a joke, similar to what a child would do

    • says

      Seriously? If you look at the date of the post, or just the date of many of the comments, you can see that the post was written a long time before the date actually “predicted.” Therefore, I didn’t get it wrong and then call it a joke later. It was a joke from the very beginning. I think God laughed with me. He is tired of date-setting Christians and wants us all to lighten up a bit.

  51. Earl Snyder says

    I know Matthew 24:36; however, Christ will return on the day of atonement on Tishri 10, 5785. This is October 11, 2024

  52. Earl says

    The holy Spirit showed me how to unseal The Book of Danirl. I can date any event in the bible (past and future). This includes when the beast will sign a peace treaty with Israel.; and when the great tribulation will begin.

  53. John says

    You started this and it is a cruel blow to worshippers of Jesus and Christianity. You should go to confession and say sorry to the priest.Then remove this page as a sign of respect to Jesus.

      • says

        Nobody knows when he is coming! Jesus said he was coming like a theft and a knif. You never know when a theft will strike. Thats what the bible says. He’ll end the world when he’s ready and nobody’s gonna make him come sooner. He’ll will approach when the horns of god yell out. He will end the world with fire and brimstone fire and rocks nobody know when he will!

  54. gina says

    People should not play in reference to when Jesus will return. Just keep on loving one another and stop the killings and love, forgive and help one another. Parents need to go back to old school raising of children.

  55. john Septeptional says

    People as stupid as you shoulndt be allowed on the internet. Do you really believe a floating bearded man in the sky created the world in 7 days? If your god created the sun on the 4th day, how had four days passed? Dou you really think he just “spawned” all of the living things on earth? Jeez, its 2014 and you still believe in ” god”

  56. says

    Before you said it’s a prank, i already know it because the Sceipture already told us that not even the angels know when the Son of Man will come.

    Thanks for the “expensive ” joke i learnt a little thing from there anyway.

  57. Aubrey says

    Are we talking about His ” Jesus ” coming to the earth or in the Clouds. To the earth is his second coming , not in the clouds, ” catching away ” which will happen before His second coming.

  58. R says

    it is also Written that no one knows the Time the day or the Hour in witch Your Lord Is coming, not even the angels, it is all fix by the Father in Heaven…So Stop trying to come up with a date…when God is Ready to End it He Will End it !!!!!

    • Sam says

      You didn’t read the post, which you should do before commenting on it. This is satire, which is using humor to expose the misguided people who think they have figured out the date of Jesus’ return.

  59. Ricky Donahue says

    Funny but a good post Jeremy but the way things are shaping up in the world and looking at end times prophecies I believe that I will see the rapture in my life time

    Revelation 22:20 – He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming quickly.” Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus!

    Can I hear an AMEN!

  60. Ricky Donahue says

    Jeremy what do you think about the four blood moons that John Hagee is talking about? He believe something is going to happen buy the last blood moon in 2015 maybe the rapture? or maybe something else?

  61. says

    Of course it is not possible to say the exact date when the Christ will return. But it easy to say it will be pretty soon. In fact, I am quite sure it will be in the next two years – very likely end of this year of early next year.

    • Chris says

      Or it could be today at 2:00 PM EST, or October 3rd and 8:01 AM…or 2061 on May 12th at 10:13 in the morning. God only knows that time of his arrival. If you are a true Christian you believe it is going to happen, and you want it to be now. I don’t think anyone should make a joke of it. By the way Michael….Jesus will never set foot on this planet until it has been cleansed following Armageddon. So, I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that you are not Jesus, nor is he inside of you. His spirit lives within us: we were created in his image. But the God the father, son and Holy spirit are in Heaven just waiting for the final seal to be broken. Stand by: it is coming. Be ready. Pray. Amen.

  62. Jerome Dennis says

    Though it sounds like a joke , on the other hand it seems the law is broken

    “Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain”

  63. Michael McNulty says

    I woke up March the 5th 2014 and I felt like Jesus and that his spirt was I my body. That date was also the first day of lent and I felt like Jesus for the whole 6weeks till Easter Sunday. Then it happened again on 1st dec (the day of advent) then jan 8th ( my birthday) then in June, not sure why june. I could be Jesus without people knowing? Or I could just be crazy and have bipolar disorder but I’m gonna believe I’m Jesus until I get baptised then we’ll see.

  64. ELI YAH says

    Four Blood Moons and two Solar Eclipses 2014 – 2015

    Another End-of-the-World Prophecy?
    You might have heard that the lunar eclipse on September 28, 2015 will complete a series of six “Signs in the Sky”.

    Will it have an effect on your life that a tetrad of four total lunar eclipses (Blood Moon) and two solar eclipses (Black Sun) align with significant Set-Apart (i.e. holy) dates of YHVH , the Eternal ONE in 2014 through to 2015?

    Many are convinced that this is not a coincidence, but that these eclipse clusters will turn out to be very significant harbingers of things to come.

    However, the last lunar eclipse on 28 September 2015 should not be identified as the apocalyptic blood moon described in Scripture passages like Revelation 6:12-17. These eclipses are not the cosmic signs of the 6th seal of the Book of Revelation in the Bible!

    The ‘Signs in the Sky’ in 2014 and 2015 are harmless Foreshadows, as a Warning, pointing to the Big, Earth and Heaven shaking Events which will occur at some stage in the “Day of YHVH”.

    They carry a significant message for those who have an ear to hear. Jesus foretold that powerful prophecies would smite a clueless and unprepared world. There is a timeline and an exact order of prophetic events before “the Battle of Armageddon” and Christ’s Return. But understand. When these final events arrive, it will already be too late for you to heed Yahshua Messiah’s words.

    For further information regarding the “Signs in the Sky” please go to e.g.:

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