This is my 300th Post! And with it, I have some changes to announce.
Recently, I haven’t been posting much. I used to post once a day, but now I’m lucky to post once a month. Part of this is because of some things going on in my life right now, but most of it is that I’m dissatisfied with what I write. I have 70 drafts sitting in my queue, just waiting for me to hit the “publish” button, but I just can’t do it.
In pondering why I have trouble publishing what I’ve written, I decided it is because what I’ve written in most of those 70 posts is not really worth saying. At first I thought it was because I had already said it, or somebody else said it better than me. Then I realized that the real reason was that most of my posts were for pride issues; I was trying to sound smart, edgy, and creative. The truth is that I’m none of those things. Yes, I read and think a lot, and work hard at learning, but I’m not what you would call a “wave maker.” I’m more of a “wave rider.” I ride along the waves that others create.
For a long time, I wanted to be a wave maker. As a child and teenager, I wanted to be an inventor. As a pastor, I wanted to lead the church in new directions, teach new ideas, attempt new things. But I eventually discovered that most of what I thought and taught was not original with me; I had picked it up from somewhere else. Sure, maybe I synthesized it, summarized it, or said it in a way that was new or creative, but wasn’t actually making or teaching anything revolutionary. But that’s okay, because people seemed to learn from my teaching, and I enjoyed it.
But I thought it wasn’t enough, so I set out to try to be a wave maker. Part of that attempt was this blog. Now I’ve come to realize that I am not a wave maker. I am a rider. And I’m good at it. Well, maybe I’m not so good, but I enjoy it. I love learning about the currants, and watching the wind play across the ripples of the sea. I get thrills out of trying some new approach on my board, and feeling it harness the power of the wave beneath my feet. I love the feel of the wind in my hair and the spray on my face as I hurtle toward shore.
This is me. This is who I am. This is what I love. I must embrace it.
By the way, I’ve never surfed in my life. So I am not talking about moving to California to become a “rider.”‘ Instead, I want to be a writer. Specifically, I want to study, teach, and write about Scripture. As I look over the last couple decades of my life, it is when I am studying, teaching, and writing about Scripture that I feel most content, most fulfilled, most at home, most connected with God and with who He made me to be. Remember in the movie “Chariots of Fire” when Eric Liddell said, “When I run I feel His pleasure”? Well, I feel His pleasure when I study.
So how does this effect this blog? I have decided to give up trying to write creative and witty blog posts, and just go back to what I enjoy doing – studying Scripture and writing about it. I am going to do this in two ways:
1. I am going to focus more time and energy on writing commentary. I am doing this at www.gracecommentary.com This is a free, online, interactive commentary. I am currently working on Luke. Though I try to write the text with simplicity and clarity, without getting bogged down too much in the details, it is still a commentary. As such, I am not doing much in the way of application. But I enjoy the research, the writing, and (hopefully) the interaction that is part of the site.
2. As a teacher, I feel it is never enough to just give facts and explanations. I also want to teach for life change. Sicne a commentary doesn’t frequently contain much application, I am going to use the blog here for that purpose.
I cannot predict how frequently I will post, since, as I mentioned, there is a lot going on in my life right now, and I don’t really have too much time for writing. Also, from time to time, I may post a random entry about whatever tickles my fancy. But generally, I am going to try to stick with Scripture.