This post about church tribes is written by Sam Riviera, a frequent contributor to this blog.
Yesterday’s post introduced to the concept of church tribes. This post looks at the pros and cons of church tribes, and how to be part of Jesus’ Tribe.
Benefits of Belonging to a Church Tribe
There are benefits to belong to a tribe… especially a church tribe.
One of the primary benefits of having a tribe is that it gives us a sense of belonging, a place where we can call home, and feel protected.
We all want safe havens where we are listened to, accepted, and loved. Most of us can handle aggressive, angry, hostile people much better when we know we have a loving, supportive family waiting for us at home, and a loving, supportive group, be it a church or a social club, with whom we will gather to escape a hostile world and support one another.
Together we can accomplish what we could never do alone. We can work on common goals, trade ideas and “have each others backs.” It’s nice to be part of a group where together we can form a united front that tells people, “Don’t mess with us or we’ll stomp on you.”
Even if others think us strange, weird, or crazy, that’s OK. We have each other to tell us that we’re normal and everyone else is crazy.
Disadvantages of Belonging to a Tribe
Nevertheless, there are some disadvantages to belonging to a tribe, and to church tribes in particular.
Most tribes expect those who belong to conform to the rules of the tribe. This is especially true of church tribes. If we want to belong, we must first learn who’s the chief, who are his right-hand people and what we are expected to do to show proper respect to them. We may be expected to show not only respect, but to give gifts of time, money and other items to the “tribal leaders”.
We will be expected to know our status within the tribe. We may be expected to wear the tribe-approved dress, learn the tribal rituals and music, and learn what behaviors are considered acceptable by the tribe.
If we intentionally or unintentionally break the rules, we will almost certainly discover that something is amiss. How? Someone else in the tribe is certain to point our mistake out to us. Perhaps other members of the tribe will ignore us. We will find out that we’re no longer being invited to “insider” parties. No one tells us tribal gossip as they did in the past. Everyone is suddenly too busy to have time to talk to us.
If we cannot manage to restore ourselves to the good graces of the tribe, we may discover that the tribe no longer considers us one of them. Although we probably won’t literally be murdered, we may find that we are the victims of “character assassination.” Unless we’re total idiots, we’ll get the message. “Get out. Go Away. We don’t want you. And don’t you dare post your grievances on a blog, or we’ll sue you.” (All of these things have happened.)
Jesus’ Tribe
Who belongs to Jesus’ tribe? – Everyone. Jesus came for all of us. Jesus came for rich and poor, young and old, fat and thin, fit and disabled, Jews and Samaritans, the clean and the unclean, those like us and those unlike us, those of our ethnicity and those of other ethnicities, those who believe the “correct” theology and those who have all kinds of strange ideas, Republicans, Democrats and people with no political affiliation, straights and gays, people in suits and people in bathing suits, people like us who “have it all together” and people who don’t, Baptists and atheists and you-name-it.
Whose tribe should we choose? The Baptists? The Democrats? The Samaritans? Weight watchers?
How about Jesus’ Tribe?
Don’t confuse the Church Tribe with Jesus’ Tribe. The two are not always the same. Whenever church people create rules that exclude others, they are creating a religious tribe that did not originate with Jesus.
Tribes are not necessarily bad. We all need our safe havens. We all need people who accept, love and support us. We all need people who want to hear what we have to say.
We just need to make sure that we allow Jesus, our Tribal leader, to make the rules for our tribe.
Instead of excluding others from our tribe, or even inviting them to be a part of our tribe, do you think it is possible to realize that we are all part of the human tribe, the tribe Jesus honored by becoming part of the tribe? Is it really possible to learn to love, honor and accept all of our neighbors, just as Jesus did? When we join Jesus’ Tribe, we find that we can have all the benefits of belonging to a tribe, while not having to deal with any of the disadvantages.
Jesus’ Tribe is so broad, it invites all people from all backgrounds among all ethnicities and from every socio-economic level. Jesus’ tribe has no official language, no preferred music style, no political persuasion, no dress code, no rules about tattoos or hair-length or food choices.
Jesus just loves all, invites all, and accepts all. If we are part of His Tribe, we will do the same.
Thanks Jeremy! I chatted with someone the other day on why I thought that Catholicism-Protestantism were problematic. I made a long argument but yours seems much simpler and to the point.
Excellent post.
Don’t confuse the Church Tribe with Jesus’ Tribe. The two are not always the same. Whenever church people create rules that exclude others, they are creating a religious tribe that did not originate with Jesus.
Well said. And when church people define their tribe as Jesus’ tribe, some on the outside will assume that definition is correct and that if they aren’t welcome in the church people’s tribe, then they aren’t welcome in Jesus’ tribe.
Thank you, Bill. I am regularly surprised by how many members of Jesus’ tribe we find in unexpected places – especially on the street among the street people. Oh that there were some way to make the church look like Jesus rather than like so many of the things it often resembles – A club, a political organization, a group with an agenda that often seems to not include loving people.
Where do you attend seminary?
I have been trying to say, though not as well, the same or similar things over on my blog PADAG. Too often, the “church tribe” seems to forget that “all” does not just include them and their Sunday morning friends.
I think the most important thing you said is that Jesus “…invites all people …” to His tribe. The door is open to anyone that wants to come in not a select few or even a predetermined “chosen” group.
I bookmarked your blog and will head back there later to read more of your posts.
Jesus invites all of us, including those who do not look, think or behave like us. Some of the members of our tribe are of many races, young, old, rich, poor, homeless, homemakers, people dressed in suits and people dressed in rags. We can learn to look beyond those things and more and see the person, the person God created in his image, the person God sees and loves.
Very true. One of the things I have to do is remind myself that – even when I don’t like someone – Jesus created them in HIS image and died for their sins just like he did mine.
When you stop by PADAG I’d love to know your thoughts. Thanks
Thanks. This post here was actually written by Sam Riviera, a friend of mine…
Interesting post. I love this whole discussion on tribes and churches! We recently started a House Church, which has been much more open to all people (Jesus tribe) than the large church we had attended for years. It has been refreshing and eye opening to see things with different eyes!
That’s exciting to hear! I hope that the refreshing times continue and relationships develop in genuine ways as you follow Jesus in this exciting new direction.
Great! Jesus’ tribe is diverse. We don’t all think the same, look the same, live in similar circumstances, dress alike, have similar backgrounds or educations, vote the same or do much of anything else the same except follow Jesus.
My wife and I have been part of a couple of house churches. One group came from a variety of churches and everyone thought the house church should look like THE church they came from. That wasn’t possible, and the group ceased to exist. Another group gravitated toward one age group, and everyone else was ignored. That group also faded into oblivion.
May your group succeed in creating something new, something that looks like Jesus.
Thanks Sam. We are early into it – so hoping/praying for the best.
Found this article while searching for something to better articulate what I just went through at a church. This article seems to sum my experience quite well. While I was never an official “member” of a well-funded Methodist church, I was the last original founding member (piano/keys/synth player) in their contemporary worship band. The politics of this church had quickly drifted to the far right starting just after the 2016 election. I went (rather RAN) in the opposite direction (LOL). (My wife had already left this increasingly hostile “tribal” & toxic environment.) I chose to stay because 1) I LOVE playing keys and serving our God. It’s my true calling. 2) I believed my presence with these folks was beneficial to all of us. You know, diversity of thought and all of that.
Long story short: New territorial lead guitar players, drummers that come in to play that literally have been up all night because they play in a bar band, and one too many comments from me asking folks to “Please, just once, could I play with some dedicated musicians that are 100% prepared (to their God given talent best, perfection not required) instead of myself (and God) getting their sloppy seconds.” A couple of weeks ago, the lead guitar player replied to me with F BOMBS AND the “GD” word. Then blamed his (on stage) outburst on me for his lack of self-control. I was asked to leave this tribe after more than EIGHT YEARS of 100% complete dedication. I’m still stunned as I write this, trying to grapple with this whole religion thing. God knows my heart. God knows that each and every Sunday I brought my “A” game. This “tribe” told me they would continue to “pray for my happiness”. I told them I did not want or need their “prayers”. My prayers and happiness were “already achieved when church folk hugged me after service with tears in their eyes. So no prayers needed, I just need your best efforts on Sunday’s”.
I stand by my (occasional) comments and make ZERO apology for wanting fellow church “musicians” to make their choice: “Serve God with your talents, or stay in your bar bands. Time to make a decision.” Nothing against bar bands mind you (been there done that!), but when you have been up ALL NIGHT with ZERO sleep? You are doing a disservice to not only me, but your fellow band-mates, your congregation, yourself and more importantly, your God.
Many of the treatments cited in this article had happened to me (i.e. CHARACTER ASSASSINATION). I am not 100% “innocent” either, as I would “hold my ground” with these folks, especially during political discussions that seemed to come up ALWAYS lately. I was THE outsider and “they” had their revenge.
Final note: Not that I had to be asked, but I find it interesting that there I was, right under their noses for well over 8 years and not one single church member had asked me if I was interested or had I considered joining their “tribe”.