The following comes from an email that was sent in to me through the “Contact Me” form on the right sidebar. I asked the sender if I could post it on this blog for others to respond to, and was given permission.
If you were talking to someone, and they said something like this, what would you say?
Most days I feel like I’m being herded. By the church. By politicians. By my job.
Especially by God.
God is like a cosmic cowboy herding me toward certain death, and I am the only one who seems to know it. I keep telling myself that I’m wrong. That this cowboy God can be trusted. But I’ve heard rumors about where he leads cows, and I’m not sure I’m going to like it. I certainly don’t like it now.
He pushes and prods me in one direction, which is a direction I don’t want to go. So far it’s been nothing but dust and barren, windswept landscapes.
Behind me is the clear water, cool shade, and green grass. Why couldn’t I have stayed there? Now I’m surrounded only by tumbleweed, gritty sand, and glaring sun.
I don’t mind if the cowboy is leading me to greener pastures. You know, Psalm 23 and all that. But it’s been ten years of desert so far, and there is no end in sight. I can’t go back, because I don’t know the way. But if I have to stay here in this desert till I die, well, the slaughterhouse is preferable to that…
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I wandered off into the woods to die.
Can I trust God? I mean really trust Him?
If so, how come it seems like He’s playing some game with my life? Like God is playing Russian roulette, but it’s my head at which the pistol is pointed?
So what would you say? The person said they would read the comments, but would probably not respond.