I Don’t Understand Church Stuff

I just don’t understand this church stuff. Several times in the past few months I’ve gone to a church I found in the phone book. The first time I went, five people asked me my name and where I live. Two days later, a nice couple showed up at my door with a plate of cookies. The pastor even sent me a letter that said he was glad I had visited. Everything looked very promising.

When I returned to that church the following Sunday, two of the five people who had talked to me the previous week remembered me, but not my name. One of the other three said hello and kept walking. The other two ignored me. Two people I hadn’t met the previous week asked me my name and promptly forgot it.

“Maybe They’d Like Me If….”

Maybe they’d be more interested in me if I were closer to them in age. Maybe they’d be more interested if I had kids, since most of them have kids. Maybe they’d be more interested if I were better looking. I’m just average in the looks department.

Now I’ve got it figured out! They’d be more interested in me if I looked like I have a lot of money. I could dress up and borrow my friend’s ‘Vet. On the other hand, that would be a bad idea. Then they’d show interest in me for the wrong reasons. I know they’re trying to raise money to pay off their building.

I tried a church a few months ago where the pastor said they need to raise over half a million dollars for their building fund. The pastor was very friendly. I got out of there as quickly as I could.

Sing For Us, But….

A couple of years ago I tried a church that looked like it might have possibilities. The pastor’s wife announced that they needed people to help with the music. Since I’ve been told that I have a very good voice for an amateur, I went out on a limb and volunteered.

The first time I sang a solo, several people told me I have a very good voice. But later I overheard the woman who usually sang the solos ask her friend what he would do if someone came along who could sing better than she could. She said had spent her whole life preparing to sing in church and had even majored in music in college. She was upset and angry.

When the person who selected and directed the music moved to another state, the pastor asked me to fill in. After the first week, several people told me that the songs I had selected were “too jazzy.” The second week, they were “too dated.” The third week, they were “too modern.”

I told the pastor that I didn’t have the time to help out with the music after that. He promptly found a woman who couldn’t read music and who had no understanding of tempo. But the songs were apparently old favorites, and everyone seemed happy.

Cook For Us, But….

The church wanted to have a banquet. I had mentioned to the pastor that I had worked as a professional cook for several years, so he asked me to prepare the banquet. Afterwards, the pastor announced that the banquet was the finest he had ever seen at that church.

One couple became very angry with me. Apparently they considered banquets their job. I asked the pastor about this. He told me that they were gone many weekends and hadn’t done a banquet in over two years. He said he had asked them first if they could do the banquet, but they had told him they would be out of town. He hadn’t mentioned any of this when he had asked me to prepare the banquet.

Does Anyone Care?

I believe in God. But I wonder if he cares about me. The people I’ve met at the churches I’ve tried don’t appear to. They’re mostly interested in socializing with their friends, which apparently has never included me.

I don’t want to be just another person to include in their statistics. I don’t want to be seen mostly as a source of money to help them pay their bills and pay off their buildings. I don’t want to be the babysitter who watches their children while they socialize. I especially don’t want to volunteer to do anything that will make anyone angry with me.

I want them to be genuinely interested in me. I don’t want to be the center of attention, but I also don’t want to be ignored.

I want them to learn and remember my name. I want them to talk to me. I would be ecstatic if a few of them would ask me to their home for dinner or dessert, or even to a coffee shop for a cup of coffee. I would love to be included in a few of the activities I hear them talking about at church, activities that they do with each other.

Maybe if they were interested in me I could believe that God is too. I don’t want to go to this heaven place and find out that everyone there, including God, ignores me.

If They Could Understand Me

I know I don’t understand a lot of this church stuff, but I often feel like church people don’t want to understand me.

If I could feel like I’ve been accepted and am part of them, then I think I would want to go to their church regularly. I might even be willing to prepare some banquets. Now this is a real stretch for me, but eventually I might even be willing to help them pay off their buildings.

But until then, I just don’t understand this church stuff.