Christians are notorious for bad behavior. Some Christians and church people are just downright mean. Why is this? Why are Christians so mean?

In some recent surveys (reported in books like unChristian and They Like Jesus but Not the Church), it appears that most people in our culture believe that Christians are about as trustworthy as car salesmen and lawyers.

And I will admit, I myself can behave pretty badly at times, and many of the Christians I know behave in far worse ways than many of the unbelievers I know. I am always amazed at the grace, love, support, and forgiveness that is found among the “unchurched” which is rarely found among those who go to church.

There are numerous contributing factors to this.

Reasons Christians are Mean

Some of it is our theology. Many Christians develop a sense of entitlement because we are the “chosen ones” the “elite” the members of the family of God. We feel this gives us the right to look down upon others who are not one of us.

Sometimes, our behavior is a result of our understanding of God’s grace and forgiveness. We feel that because God forgives us for all our sins, we can treat others in terrible ways, and God will still forgive us. While it is true that God will forgive us for such behavior, His grace is never a license to treat others so shamefully.

Then there is the critical, judgmental, legalistic attitude so often taught and practiced in churches. Since we feel we have a corner on the truth and that we are the ones who are always right, this makes us believe that it is our responsibility to be the world’s policemen, going around pointing out where people are wrong and how they are sinning. This is rarely received well by anyone, especially when we have glaringly obvious sins in our own life.

Finally, there is the fact that Christians love to pick and choose which sins are the worst – things like homosexuality and murder – while ignoring sins that are prevalent within our own congregations (which might actually be much worse) – sins like gluttony, greed, and pride. The watching world sees our blatant hypocrisy and criticizes us in return for our unjustified criticism of them.

But over the years, as I have personally engaged in hypocritical and sinful behavior, and as I have watched other Christians do the same, I have found that there are several excuses we give for our poor treatment of other people, and for sin in our own lives. When we treat others badly, we give excuses for why our treatment of them is justified.

Here are the top ten reasons I could think of:

1. We Christians are sinners too.

There are other versions of this excuse, such as “Hey! Nobody’s perfect!” or “I’m not perfect; just forgiven.”

The idea behind this excuse is that the watching world has put unrealistic expectations on us as Christians. We complain that they seem to think we should live perfect lives, which is impossible. So when we sin, and our sin is pointed out to us, we excuse our actions by reminding others that we are sinners too.

Theologically, this is correct.

But such a statement should never be used to excuse our sin. When our sin is pointed out to us, either by a Christian or a non-Christian, the proper response is not “Hey, I’m a sinner too, so get off my back about my behavior” but rather should be, “You know what? You are correct. I messed up. I am sorry. Thanks for pointing that out. With God’s help, I will do better next time.”
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I’m moving to Dallas!

No, not that Dallas. Been there, done that.

I’m moving to Dallas, Oregon.

It’s a small little town in Oregon, about an hour south of Portland with a population of about 16,000.

We don’t really know what to expect, and my wife and girls are leaving behind a lot of good friends here in New York. But we are excited for what this next phase of life holds for us.

By the time you read this, we will already be on the road.

A trip from New York to Oregon is about 3000 miles. That is almost as far as you can possibly go and still stay within the continental United States. Pretty much the only way you could go further is if you started in Maine and went to California.

And I am driving it all… pulling a U-Haul trailer… with a Toyota minivan… and my wife, three daughters, and two cats are coming with me.

Yes, cats. In a car.

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