I just don’t understand this church stuff. Several times in the past few months I’ve gone to a church I found in the phone book. The first time I went, five people asked me my name and where I live. Two days later, a nice couple showed up at my door with a plate of cookies. The pastor even sent me a letter that said he was glad I had visited. Everything looked very promising.

When I returned to that church the following Sunday, two of the five people who had talked to me the previous week remembered me, but not my name. One of the other three said hello and kept walking. The other two ignored me. Two people I hadn’t met the previous week asked me my name and promptly forgot it.

“Maybe They’d Like Me If….”

Maybe they’d be more interested in me if I were closer to them in age. Maybe they’d be more interested if I had kids, since most of them have kids. Maybe they’d be more interested if I were better looking. I’m just average in the looks department.

Now I’ve got it figured out! They’d be more interested in me if I looked like I have a lot of money. I could dress up and borrow my friend’s ‘Vet. On the other hand, that would be a bad idea. Then they’d show interest in me for the wrong reasons. I know they’re trying to raise money to pay off their building.

I tried a church a few months ago where the pastor said they need to raise over half a million dollars for their building fund. The pastor was very friendly. I got out of there as quickly as I could.

Sing For Us, But….

A couple of years ago I tried a church that looked like it might have possibilities. The pastor’s wife announced that they needed people to help with the music. Since I’ve been told that I have a very good voice for an amateur, I went out on a limb and volunteered.

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Sunday was a beautiful day. When I woke up, the sun was already shining and the birds were singing. I decided to take an early morning hike.

The spring wildflowers were blooming in all their glory, as pretty as I’ve ever seen them. The early morning dew quickly soaked my shoes as I crossed meadows and climbed into the foothills.

After my hike I had planned to swim and catch some rays on a comfortable lounge by the pool. But something about the beauty of the day made me want to worship God. I decided to go to church.

The music had already begun when I arrived. Everyone was singing a song I had never heard, a song about how much God cares for us. The song ended and the pastor told us to greet those around us. I didn’t know anyone. But everyone else seemed to know each other. Just as everyone was sitting down, two of the people in front of me turned to me and said “Hello, glad to have you here.” No one asked my name.

The pastor preached a sermon about obeying God, but I don’t remember much of what he said. However, I remember the ten or fifteen minutes after the last prayer very well.

Here I Am! Here I Am! Hello!

After the prayer the pastor announced that he needed to meet with “the board” in a room in the back. The pastor and a group of people quickly exited.

The people who had been sitting near me all turned to people they seemed to know and began talking. Since no one turned to me, I decided to get coffee and a doughnut at the coffee table.

The woman on duty at the coffee table smiled at me, and then turned to talk to someone else. I stepped away and moved near a group of people who were engaged in conversation. One woman turned and headed toward me.

“Beautiful day, isn’t it?” I asked.

“Oh, yeah it is,” she said as she hurried past.

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When was the last time you saw a fellow Christian being portrayed as happy in the media? When was the last time you thought of church as being a “fun” or a place where lots of laughing could be heard?

Just the other day I had a conversation with a fellow Christian and he remarked that we’ve done a very poor job of showing the world that we know how to enjoy life and laugh. I thought for a moment and then had to agree.

I realized that especially in the media, Christians are virtually never shown as having any fun at all; rather we are shown as being sour-faced, judgmental and intolerant. We all basically look like the couple from the American Gothic painting.

This struck me where I live because I’m a comedian by profession. I make a living making (or at least “trying” to make) people laugh. I wondered why was it that so many of my friends who have a deep relationship with God are very happy and most laugh far more than my other acquaintances, yet that type of behavior is rarely shown in movies, on TV, or in books.

I think you and I already know the answer; Christians are the scapegoats. We should all know this, after all, Jesus said it was going to be this way:

Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me (Matt 24:9).

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My small group was recently discussing religion and how so many rules and regulations keep people from truly becoming followers of Jesus Christ.

A new member was discussing her experience as a young girl in the church. She had to memorize various lengthy scriptures and was told if she didn’t have them memorized word for word, she could not enter the Kingdom of Heaven. As she continued to tell the story, I was biting my lip, picturing myself blacking that pastor’s eye.

Because of those words spoken to her, she gave up on Christianity. She believed she was a failure. She cried herself to sleep at night with the belief that she could never go to Heaven. My friend carried that lie with her for many years.

After she finished her story, I said, “Christianity would be great if it wasn’t for people.” Isn’t it so true? People get in the way. Religion and rules take the place of relationships. False doctrine takes center stage and Jesus gets put behind the curtain.

Have we forgotten the two most important commandments? We’re to love the Lord our God with all our heart and soul and mind. Then we’re to love our neighbor as ourselves (Matthew 22:37-39).

How can someone claim to love God with all their heart while filling an innocent girl’s mind with lies about her eternity? How can someone say they love God with all their heart while labeling a teenager “bound for hell” because of a made up rule?

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You’re sitting in church enjoying the music, minding your own business when suddenly you notice it. Out of the corner of your eye you can see the offering plate coming towards you, and you hastily reach for your wallet. “How much did I give last week?” you think to yourself. “Twenty, yea it was twenty, that was a lot, this week I think ten should suffice.”

For the average church goer this is probably close to the experience they have with giving financially to their church. They know the bible says talks about tithing (and their radical Christian friends do it) but they may not be sure what tithing is, or if it is for today.

However, a close look at the biblical precepts for giving in the context of the New Testament church will yield a clear answer. Let’s see what God’s word says.

What is tithing?

First things first, what exactly is tithing? Biblically tithing was an Old Testament command that God gave to ethnic Israel. Leviticus 27:32 says “The entire tithe of the herd and flock–every tenth animal that passes under the shepherd’s rod–will be holy to the LORD.”

In fact, God even rebuked Israel for not paying their tithes to God. Malachi 3:8 says “Will a man rob God? Yet you rob me. But you ask, ‘How do we rob you?’ In tithes and offerings.” As you can see, God took tithing very seriously when it came to his dealings with Israel. But what about his covenant with the church?

Does God command the church to tithe?

Is tithing a New Testament Command?

You might find it interesting to know that neither Jesus, nor Paul, nor any of the New Testament writers ever commanded the church to tithe. In fact the only time tithing is ever mentioned in the New Testament is in the context of Israel, or in dealing with the hypocrisy of the Pharisees, and just as a reminder, the Pharisees were still practicing Judaism.

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