Though Christians claim that all people should have the right to life, we sometimes think the world would be better off if certain people just “left.”
Some churches feel this way about the LGBT community, those who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender.
Loving LGBT People
In many ways, many churches condemn and shun this group of people more than any others, including murderers and rapists. Whatever your convictions are about lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgender, shouldn’t they be loved and accepted just like anyone else?
Even if you think that their lifestyle is sinful, why would a church choose to condemn and reject LGBT people, while at the same time love and accept people who are guilty of other sins?
This statement by Greg Boyd
Evangelical churches are usually refuge houses for certain kinds of sinners—the loveless, the self-righteous, those apathetic toward the poor and unconcerned with issues of justice and race, the greedy, the gluttons, and so on. People guilty of those sins usually feel little discomfort among us. But evangelical churches are not usually safe places for other kinds of sinners—those whose sins, ironically, tend to be much less frequently mentioned in the Bible than the religiously sanctioned sins.
It is rare indeed that a drunkard, drug addict, or prostitute would think of going to church because he or she just needed to feel loved and accepted. These people may go to bars, fellow addicts, drug dealers, or pimps to find refuge and acceptance, but they would not go to church.
[For a great book on how Christians can love and interact with LGBT people, I recommend Love Is an Orientation.
This sort of attitude is nothing short of hypocritical. By classifying some sins as less forgivable than others, or some people as less worthy of our love and acceptance, we have forsaken the Gospel and abandoned the message of life in Jesus Christ, and replaced it with our own unloving, judgmental condemnation of others.
By our words and our actions, we tell others that in we have no place for them in our life. Again, loving others and fellowshipping with them does not mean that we condone a particular way of living. This is true whether we are talking about a child molester or a glutton, a murder or a gossiper. Why is it that we can love and forgive some types of sin, but not others?
When we condemn others, we are essentially condemning them to death, which is something the Gospel does not do.
Loving Others, No Matter What
Will accepting, loving, and forgiving certain types of people make us uncomfortable, and ruin the sense of peace and security we feel in a Sunday morning service? It might. But that’s okay, because that is what the Gospel is about.
The Gospel is not about living our life the way we want. There is no right to life written in the Gospel, unless it is the right to eternal life, which is promised to all people, regardless of what they have done. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is about life and forgiveness for all people, no matter what.
Following Jesus, we’re called to manifest the beauty of an outrageously impractical life that would sooner be killed than kill.
So, while we can affirm the right to life as a noble political value, as Kingdom people we have to revolt against the temptation to this noble value above the value of self-sacrificial love in order to manifest the beauty of the Jesus-looking Kingdom (The Myth of a Christian Religion,
84-85).
[This post is part of a series called “Give Up Your Rights” which will form a chapter in my forthcoming book, Close Your Church for Good.]
Hey Jeremy – I think the reason this is a struggle for the American church is not just that certain people are judged more harshly (which I believe is true)…I think a big component of it is that we’re just “uncomfortable” with certain people. Their sins make us uncomfortable, because they seem more uncommon, fringe, dangerous, etc.
I think that’s definitely the case with child molesters, people who have committed adultery, and LGBT. Yes, some people are judging them and don’t genuine love them…I think a lot of other church members genuine love them and want their good but are uncomfortable and having a hard time interacting.
With that in mind, I think the best situation is to expose people to the poor and destitute and those on the fringes of society. Churches should band together and be Jesus in the dregs of society…yes, it’s going to be incredibly uncomfortable for people, but Jesus calls us to be there. Then our hearts will change from the inside out. But no matter how much we call the church to stop judging people, I don’t think it’ll change until we understand these classes of people.
We who have an intimate relationship with God should be the least afraid to get involved in dangerous situations, and yet we seem to cling the most to our comfort zone.
Brian,
I think you may be right. But how do we get people out of the comfort zone? Is it simply leading by example? Do we invite in guest speakers? Do we start a new program or group?
Yes Yes Yes…but I think the biggest thing is probably getting people into the community and out of their comfort zone (service projects, evangelism, or just spending time).
We’re so protective of our love and grace…but we have an unlimited source of love and grace flowing into us. What, are we concerned the source will run out? 😉
Ha! Isn’t there a limit to God’s grace? 😉
Jeremy, Thank you for this post. Probably something like 98% of our friends would fall into the broad category of “those stigmatized and/or overlooked by the church” Interestingly, with rare exceptions, they all have tried church, but were not accepted and in some cases openly rejected by the church.
With rare exceptions, the church has forfeited its ability to be heard by those it has rejected. In most cases this was not a passive thing. It was not that the rejected ones checked out church and were not interested. The church did not accept them.
Who are these people? – The poor, the homeless, women who openly acknowledge they’ve had abortions, women who have felt called into ministry, abused women, people who openly acknowledge that they were molested as children by “Christian” men (often men in church leadership), and many, many LGBT people.
Who are we to reject anyone? Were our sins to be made public, the sins of others would pale in comparison. Now who was the guy who said he was the chiefest of sinners? Obviously we should never, ever, never trust anything he wrote.
Love wins. Theology, Biblical knowledge and condemning others, when used against others, always, always, always loses and serves only to show that we’re totally missing Jesus’ message.
Sam,
I thought of you when I wrote this post. I wish churches across the country could hear what you have to say and learn from you about how you show love to people that many churches avoid.
Number of times Jesus mentioned homosexuality – 0.
And its not like that wasn’t an issue back then, they were living in the freaking Roman Empire.
Something tells me he was more concerned with other things, yet today it seems like many people make it the focal point of their entire belief system.
P.S. Obesity is a much bigger issue in this country and the same people condemning others should probably lose a few before they even consider judging someone else.
Kirk,
That’s absolutely right. And I just stumbled across this again yesterday: Ezekiel 16:49 says that the sin of Sodom was eating too much food and spending too much time in leisure while ignoring the poor and needy in the community…. YIKES!
Nothing in there about homosexuality… but a few other sins are mentioned which we don’t want to address today.
When we condemn these “heinous” sins of others we mask our own sins and then bask in our “good” Christian lives. . . . Who deserves condemnation?
David,
Yes, we have chosen a particular sin to condemn (for no good reason), just to cover over and ignore our own sins.
We have to be careful here…I am not saying to people that no one can be forgiven but – The blood of Jesus Christ cleanses from all sin and produces a heart that hears the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit will clearly say to anyone who is LGBT that they must come out of “their sin” – just the same that the Holy Spirit would clearly say to someone who is a thief – “Steal no more”. Out of all the sins the sin of fornication and immorality – if left to prosper in a church with no one speaking against it – will bring down damnation upon that church – The church can be in the world the same way a boat can be on the see but the world in the church will sink the church the same way the see in a boat will!
Sin is sin and if left to flourish through out the church then it will bring damnation into the church. How can God bless something which He clearly punished in Sodom and Gomorah?
Don’t bring the worlds thinking into the church … the spirit of the world is enmity towards God … the spirit in the world hates the Holy Spirit and the two cannot be together. Just because the world thinks its okay for civil partnerships of both sexes living together … God clearly condemns this in scripture and to say that we should allow it out of love is actually not love at all…Paul expressly preaches against this kind of sin in the church…
I would give my life for any homosexual man or women – I would gladly give my life in exchange for theirs if it come to the crunch but I still speak out against the sin of homosexuality…What you must understand is that it is a judgment of God when a nation turns away from God – The whole world is turning away from God and we need to stand against the teaching of the world…it is also a sign of the times as spoken of in timothy 1 and 2. Don’t become part of the spirit of the world…stay away from it…if it means that you are “called” offensive because you don’t agree with the world then so be it…Jesus taught that the world will “hate you” because it first hated me…
They can all join hands as much as they want and walk down the streets and march for their rights but God will condemn the act of homosexuality and those who are doing it – the same way that he will condemn all other sins…Now listen to the following teaching in 1 sam 15:22
So Samuel said: “Has the LORD [as great] delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, As in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, [And] to heed than the fat of rams. For rebellion [is as] the sin of witchcraft, And stubbornness [is as] iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the LORD, He also has rejected you from [being] king.” Then Saul said to Samuel, “I have sinned, for I have transgressed the commandment of the LORD and your words, because I feared the people and obeyed their voice.
God is not mocked – what a man reaps he will sow…
Colin, perhaps you missed the beginning part of Jeremy’s post, where he wrote:
“In many ways, many churches condemn and shun this group of people more than any others, including murderers and rapists. Whatever your convictions are about lesbians, gays, bisexuals, and transgender, shouldn’t they be loved and accepted just like anyone else?
“Even if you think that their lifestyle is sinful, why would a church choose to condemn and reject LGBT people, while at the same time love and accept people who are guilty of other sins?”
The discussion is not about whose lifestyle is or is not sinful. After all, our churches are filled with sinners, are they not? The post is about loving and accepting people, regardless of who they are or are perceived to have done. To accept only some people and reject others would in itself be a sin, would it not?
I love LGBT because they are neighbors and they are made (men and women) in the image of God…That doesn’t mean that I would then say – “Okay, you can come in and remain homosexual…don’t worry about it because God will accept you being homosexual…carry on being homosexual…and at the same time you can be a Christian”…That would be a lie…wouldn’t it…because the Holy Spirit convicts you of your sin…you repent and ask for forgiveness…otherwise a child killer could “carry on” being a child killer and “call himself a Christian”…but using the above logic you are saying that those in sin can carry on sinning regardless because the blood of Jesus Christ “allows” them to sin…
Now I stand firm on this conviction that yes…an homosexual man or women can come to faith and be saved by Jesus Christ and have their sins forgiven through the blood of Jesus Christ but through the sanctification of the Holy Spirit they would not carry on committing the act of homosexuality because they would be “convicted” – now where there is no conviction of sin then where is the fruit of the Holy Spirit in that man or women?
These kind of arguments go round and round and round…
All can be forgiven through the blood of Jesus Christ…but whoever confesses Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour will show “Fruits of repentance” (Turning away from sin to life)…The fruit of sin is death and stands the same…Think about what you are saying?
I am a professional thief and I come to Christ and I am washed in His blood – what – to carry on being a thief? In the words of Paul the apostle “God forbid” – Where the blood is applied there is a new creation not the same creation washed to then continue “walking” in sin (and there is a difference to walking in sin and falling over in it)…
I think that you are starting to confuse the worlds thinking with what is right and wrong. The world says “Homosexuality is normal” – The Holy Spirit says “its a sin” like all other sins…people who reject it as a sin are – get this – DECEIVED! and who is the deceiver – Satan himself. Satan wants people to accept homosexuality as normal because then they reject the creation of God at the beginning (He created man – male and female he created them).
Sorry Sam – I can’t agree with saying to homosexuals – “continue in your sin and you can still be a Christian” – That would be lie.
Call me old fashioned, bigoted, unforgiving or whatever other names anyone wants to come with and I will still stand firm on this. Its just the teaching of scripture from the Word of God. Does that change my conviction on loving them as a fellow human being? No! But if they asked me if it is okay to be homosexual and also be a Christian I would say to them “you are living in error and need to repent”.
Colin – You are putting words in my mouth I did not say. I did not say nor did I imply.: “Sorry Sam – I can’t agree with saying to homosexuals – “continue in your sin and you can still be a Christian” – That would be lie.”
Nor did I say anything about telling anyone to remain in their sin, whatever you think their sin may be.
You’re not reading what I said, or what Jeremy said. The post is about accepting people, whoever they are. No one except you is saying anything about telling anyone to remain in their sin, continue in their sin or anything of the sort. That would be a completely different discussion, not the one anyone here except you is having.
Colin,
I concur with what Sam is saying (every word). This post has nothing to do with whether homosexuality is a sin or not. That is a completely different discussion.
All I was saying was that IF you think it is a sin, we should still love and accept LGBT people, just as we love and accept people who lie, eat too much, drink too much, are lazy, are proud, etc, all of which are clearly sins (and are talked about in Scripture way more than homosexuality).
Now I stand firm on this conviction that yes…an homosexual man or women can come to faith and be saved by Jesus Christ and have their sins forgiven through the blood of Jesus Christ but through the sanctification of the Holy Spirit they would not carry on committing the act of homosexuality because they would be “convicted” – now where there is no conviction of sin then where is the fruit of the Holy Spirit in that man or women?
You sound like a Calvinist. You must never ever do anything wrong. If you did, you wouldn’t really be saved, now would you? (by your own standards). OHHH but what you do is different from what those evil gay people do. >_>
I shared this on FB and a friend had this to say,
“Interesting read. I think one problem stems from the adversarial relationship that exists between evangelical Christians and the LGBT community. Adulterers, the covetous, or the gluttonous generally do not require that we applaud their sins at high noon on the courthouse steps.”
He does have a point, doesn’t he. 🙂
Yes, exactly. Loving doesn’t mean you condone everything that person does.
It’s not enough to ‘tolerate’ people we don’t agree with, or simply hold our tongue. We need to throw our arms around them and surround them in an overwhelming love and warmth. Both spiritually and literally.
David and Brian,
He does have a point, but then, what are movies, TV, pro sports, best selling books, etc, etc, but a support and applauding of some of the worst vices talked about in Scripture?
We praise and applaud greed, gluttony, sexual promiscuity, lying, coveting, adultery, etc, every day by what we buy, what we watch, what we read, who we cheer for, who we vote for, what activities we participate in and attend, etc.
Jeremy: In your response to Kirk, you cited Ezekiel 16:49. Of course the prophet was pointing out only that Jerusalem was ‘as guilty’ as the forever gone twin cities. Yes, God was saying the, “At least I’m (we’re) not as bad as all THAT!” defense would not stand judgement. The sins listed here all merited judgement against them. (Mat_11:24, It shall be more tolerable for the land of Sodom in the day of judgment than for thee). It was not necessary to mention the sins of lust that were so persausive as all were well aware of them. Remember, the men wanted to “know” the angels -yes, in the ‘biblical sense- and refused Lot’s virgin daughters.
The warning was that these were ‘base sins’ which would open the door to even more decadence, and they thought they were being sneakier and justified they would get away with it all because of all Jerusalem held dear to God.
As far as accepting others, as a recovering drug addict & alcoholic living under bridges a couple of decades ago, Jesus met me where I was. Seeds were planted, food was given freely. I knew where to turn when I was totally beaten down in my own self-run life. These were people who left the comfort of the sanctuary and met us at our point of need. I respected the Church enough not to show up all nasty and expect to be accepted.
I have very strong feelings about homosexuality and child-molesters. These are sins of the flesh and lust-driven, that unless a person has a geniune change of heart will probalbly continue. Rationalization and self-justification rule in their hearts and minds.
Now there is a very distinct agenda-driven move to ‘normalize’ homosexuality. “Churchs” are opening their doors to rather un-scriptulal agendas, gay-marriage, gay priests (and priestessess). They are more than welcome there. Don’t tell the rest of us to comply becasue it is a more acceptable sin! Don’t keep nailiing Jesus to the Cross and raising it again to accomadate a lifestyle.
Heb 10:26 “For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins,”
The church could be harming those folks by offering an active sinner communion.
1Co 11:27 Wherefore whosoever shall eat this bread, and drink this cup of the Lord, unworthily, shall be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord.
1Co 11:28 But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of that bread, and drink of that cup.
1Co 11:29 For he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself, not discerning the Lord’s body.
1Co 11:30 For this cause many are weak and sickly among you, and many sleep.
1Co 11:31 For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged.
Any one that comes to a gathereing of the saints should be welcome. However, a contrite heart, sober mind and the admonination to ‘go forth and sin no more.’ are still relevant. Despite our more modern times and intrepretions of God’s Word.
Grateful Al,
You make some good points. But what about our universal acceptance of greedy, gluttonous, envious, and covetous clergy? These also are sins of the flesh and are lust-driven: a lust for power, and fame, and money.
We must be careful we do not put our stamp of approval on some sins the Bible strongly condemns, while condemning a few sins the Bible barely mentions.
Thanks for your response and seeing the distinctions I wished to make. In regards to that, it is not my intention in any manner, shape or form to accept, condone, or excuse any manner of sin(s). The point I wish to make is that for most, when confronted with the consequences of our failings, we face the truth (ie the shame of adultery and the loss of a marriage and family, gambling or substance abuse and our financial ruin, our health deteriorating from unhealthy eating and slothfulness, and so on).
With the homosexuals and child molesters in particular, they will continue to deny the evil in their lives. A child molester still sees themselves as “loving” that child. Homosexuals are born that way, so their god screwed up, not some adult besetting them with evil. (The age-old question, are homosexuals born or made)?
Peter said it was better to marry than to ‘burn.’ I believe he was referring to sexual impulses. Satan has the strongest hold on us by way of our basest drives, or instincts.
For example, I heard it said that the gift of tongues is one of the most common counterfeited because it is the most ‘base’ and feeds our egos and pride if we choose to ‘flaunt’ it. (That’s why the church was supposed to limit those prophesying to not more than 3)?
Bottom line for me, to minister properly to any of these, it is best to have a heart, and maybe personal experience, to be the most effective. It is not a calling for all, and to insist or demand a church body reach out as a whole, is asking for more turmoil that blessings in that body?
Yes, love and service is the most important. Not judgment and condemnation. And maybe you are right. It is not a calling for all.
I more or less agree. But there is something of a difference between gluttony, greed etc. and homosexuality as far as the church’s reaction goes (and this is far from saying that the church has dealt with homosexuality in a good way), and that is the fact that there is a massive movement within and without the church, not to show that homosexuality is a sin like any other, but to show that it is not a sin at all.
I have actually made an experiment of suggesting that lying, for instance, is not sinful, and the reaction I got was just as fierce as any one might encounter if they argued that homosexuality was not a sin. I imagine I would get the same result if I tried it with gluttony, greed, murder, self-righteousness etc.
Jake, re-read Jeremy’s post. He is not saying to say that this or that (lying, gluttony, homosexuality or whatever) should be defined as “not sinful”. He is saying that as followers of Jesus, his representatives on earth here and now, we should love others, regardless of the situation in which they find themselves.
The church and many Christians have such a problem with this. We all know that certain sins are looked at with more revulsion and disgust than others. Those who we suppose commit those “sins” (in the case under discussion this would be LGBT people) are treated much differently than those who commit “sins” that we consider minor (lying, gluttony, self-righteousness, etc.). Should we love the one (sinner) and reject the other because we disapprove more of the other?
Sam, re-read my post. I did not say that Jeremy said anything of the sort.
Apparently I missed your response to this comment a year ago. Yes, some churches have a vague notion of wanting to get those they consider on the margins “saved”, but seldom know how to deal with the issues these people face.
For example, what to do with the homeless person who lives under a bush, doesn’t bathe often and has a problem with alcohol and drugs. It’s a fantasy that “getting saved” will instantly solve those issues. Another example: assuming that “getting saved” will “cure” someone of their sexual orientation. You’ll find almost no LGBTs who say that happens, so of course such expectations only set the stage for a situation that many churches do not know how to deal with.
We advocate loving people regardless of their situation. That involves more than some fuzzy feeling or idea. It includes so much more. How can we love people unless and until we take the time to really get to know them?
How does one show love to gay and lesbian people without accepting there life style as normal? It seems to me this is what they want? They are not content with my acceptance of them as people; they want me to give total approval of their life style? Which is something I can never do.