Are you one of the millions of people who have stopped “attending church” so that you can better follow Jesus into the world?
If so, you have probably noticed two things: First, you have rediscovered joy and excitement in your relationship with God and your life with Jesus. Each new day brings an expectation for what God will teach you that day, where Jesus will take you, and how you can show the love of God to people you interact with that day.
The second thing you have probably noticed, however, is that once you stopped attending church to start following Jesus outside the four walls of the church building, many of your church-attending friends and family think that you have abandoned Christ, have rejected the faith, and are falling away from God. Many do not understand how anyone can follow Jesus without attending church on Sunday morning.
This second experience can be quite frustrating. You have never felt closer to God, have never seen God more at work in your life, have never felt more freedom and joy in your interaction with neighbors and coworkers who need to see the love of Jesus, are seeing many answers to prayer, have a renewed interest and insight into Scripture, and are seeing God do amazing things in your life, and yet…. your church-going friends and family say that you are sinning by not sitting in a pew on Sunday morning to sing some songs and listen to a sermon.
I know that many of the readers of this blog have had this experience, and would love for you to share your stories in the comments below, with a special focus on how you have learned to respond with love, grace, and truth.
Below is one such response that a reader of this blog recently sent to me after it was sent to a member of her family who is concerned about her spiritual well-being since she has stopped attending church. This letter shows some of the frustration she feels at being judged for no longer attending church, but at the same time, reveals the love and joy that she experiences as a result of following Jesus into the world. I asked if I could share it, and was given permission. Some names and personal details have been removed.
I am sorry that it seems that I get angry at Christians. I want to tell you that I truly do not feel any hatred or anger toward them at all. I understand that going to church is the path they are on and it is a good one for them and that is great. I harbor no ill feelings toward them for their decision to include attending church as part of their life of following Jesus. I know that given the right circumstances going to “church” can be a good thing for many and I am glad those people have it. I would even tell someone that if they feel they need, to go ahead and attend a “church” group.
I want you to know that the anger that you sense I have for Christians is not toward you. I get frustrated when I feel like I must defend my life to my family. Though everyone else in my family attends church, I don’t ask you to defend that decision to me, and I am just asking for the same courtesy and respect. Perhaps I am misunderstanding you and it is not a defense that you are asking for. If that is the case I am sorry I got upset. I will try to see that you don’t want me to explain my life next time we talk. I think that anyone would get upset as I do if they felt that they were constantly having to defend their life to their loved ones. So if that is not what you are wanting me to do than I apologize for misunderstanding, and I will try to not do that anymore.
But if that is the case than I want to suggest something.
Please don’t let your heart ache for me. There have been many years in my life in which aching for me would have been appreciated. The last several years have certainly been hard as I have experienced the loss of friends, marriage struggles, depression, financial trouble, and so on. But I cannot tell you how incredibly blessed I feel right now. In the last year, God has given me three amazing friends, and my children have new friends as well. We have activities that are encouraging growth and skills, many of which help us grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. We have a house over our head. We planted a garden and grew many things successfully. I get to stay home and school our children and they are doing well. We are all healthy. We are going camping again after a long time without it. Although I must fight monthly for my marriage, it seems to be getting better (all marriages need fighting for). We have a security that I have never had ever in my marriage. ALL THESE BLESSINGS ARE FROM GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is so a part of our lives i can’t imagine life without Him, it just wouldn’t exist. We prayed for all these things and in one way or another He has blessed us. It may not always look like we wanted it to look but if we try to find Him in our day it is not hard work, He is most certainly there. Sometimes He even gives us the grace to find him in the trials and hurts even while we are in them.
There certainly were plenty of times for your heart to ache for me, but honestly those were the times that I was attending church. The times I was lonely and ridiculed, with no friends at all. The times I was hurt because my husband was doing things that hurt me deeply and separated me from him. The times I was suffering depression with no one around to tell me it was OK or to help me. I could go on and on…
But now, I am more joyful than I have ever been, freer than I ever thought possible, looking for more ways to show Christ to the world than ever before. I am so thankful, I can’t get through a day without rejoicing. God has done that. God has given that to me. I know it won’t last forever.I know trials will come again and I hope that I can reflect on this time of joy to get through them, knowing He is there just as He is now.
I know also that this path is not for everyone. I know that. But this is the path for us. This way of living has set us free to be who God wants us to be, instead of some predetermined person with predetermined gifts to offer not because we want to but because it is expected of us. I feel more free to praise God now than ever before, because when I do, people don’t think I am just trying to get them to “come to church.” I finally am free to live my life the way I feel God intended ME to. Not everyone will be called to this way of following Jesus. Just as not everyone will be called to be single, or any other [fill in the blank] way of living. I have found my purpose for the life God has given me, and after struggling to find it for 37 years, I am glad to have it, and I guess I get a bit passionate about defending it. I know I don’t fit in the nice neat Christian box, but then, I never fit in any box nice and neatly, did I?
I would love it if you could just embrace the fact that after many years of “wandering” I feel like I have found myself and my role in God’s tapestry. Many of the things God has led me to in the last year have helped me discover who I am supposed to be. Some of these new friends, though they also do not “attend church” have helped changed my dream. I no longer feel called overseas to work in orphanages after my children grow up. I now feel called in a real big way to help the girls in America that have been sexually abused. I want to start a horse ranch for them where they can work, feel safe, learn, grow, and heal. For the first time in my life, I have a dream that I feel is attainable. I feel like I have a dream that matches me like a glove. I am so content and joyful and thankful right now that I honestly ache that you cannot see it.
I am glad that you care so much for me, I really do. But please set your heart at rest knowing that finally I feel like I have found what God has wanted to show me for years. All those times I didn’t fit in the boxes I was in, whether it be school, girl, church, sorority, athlete, etc. God was trying to tell me, “Hey, it’s OK. I never intended you to be those things.” I love the fact that I am finally OK with not fitting in. I am more than OK; I am thankful for it. That is God’s doing and I will praise Him for it, and try to follow Him into the next chapter of my life.
I love you so much, and I hope this helps you to understand that I am not angry. I am passionate about what God is doing in my life and it hurts when my loved ones don’t understand it. Please be happy for me.
If you are one of the millions of people who are no longer attending church but who nevertheless have a vibrant and growing relationship with Jesus and have seen your relationships with other people grow in amazing ways, please share your experience below.
If you would like, also share some tips and suggestions for how to respond to church-going friends and family who think that you have fallen away from the faith because you are no longer “attending church.”
Please pass on to your anonymous writer that she is finding her writing voice on a topic about which she is passionate. Good job!
As you know, I’ve written about this topic and perhaps need to write more, since leaving “church” often results in a real struggle – a struggle to explain our actions to former “church” friends and perhaps to family, people who are determined that following Jesus means parking one’s butt in a pew in a building that has a sign out front that says “church”.
This is not to say that activity (“going to church”) cannot be included in following Jesus, but at best it is a very small part of following Jesus. I think of it as a chance to finally sit down and rest a bit and listen to someone else. Then comes the other 167 hours in the week of following Jesus and loving others, being the hands and arms of Jesus to our neighbors, friends, co-workers and families.
And how does that work out? – As our friend Kathy Escobar says, it can be really messy. Yes, but Jesus’ life was really messy too, hanging out with lepers, prostitutes & sinners, telling the religious folks they had it all wrong, being hounded day and night by people with needs and then being essentially murdered by the people who were supposed to be representing God on earth.
How do we explain our actions to our critics? Are there good explanations? – Yes. Have we found ways to replace “church”, and actually “be” church. – Yes. How do we fit that into a busy life? – I don’t want to take over this post, so I will write more later.
Sam,
You are right that the activity of “going to church” is an activity that be an aspect of following Jesus. But as you point out, it is not the only way, and even if done, should only be a small part of the rest of our week of following Jesus and loving and serving others. Sadly, many Christians seem to make church attendance the primary (or only) outlet for their life of following Jesus.
I look forward to more of your posts!
I will do that. I think the purpose of your writer is not to convince anyone to stop attending church, but to help those who see that practice as a necessity that there are those of us who are taking church to the community, and are finding Jesus as well as Christian community where we go.
Kudos to your writer!
A family member stopped going to church because of another commitment. Any advice. Thanks
Seems like “leaving the church” is not the best choice of words because… well, Jesus died for his bride. The NT is made of letters to that bride in local places, ie the local churches. Acts shows how the NT church functions. The letters from Jesus are to the 7 churches. While I agree Christianity is not just about going to a church once a week and moving on with lift after that, there is absolutely a need for believers to be part of a church in the committed community sense, as it was in Acts. Free-wheeling christians I cannot find in the NT. The apostles were sent out. There is authority in the local church. Every church is imperfect, and some may need to be left behind to go somewhere else for one reason or another, but the Church is the body and bride of christ where discipleship is supposed to occur and from where the spreading of the gospel emanates through those sent out for such work. Jeremy, don’t you do church planting?
J.J.
I didn’t mention leaving the church and neither did the author of the letter I posted. I agree with you about the church and our need of community. But sitting in a building on Sunday morning is not the only way to get community. In fact, it could be argued that not much true “community” goes on in a Sunday morning church service. How well do “church attenders” really know each other and what is going on in each other’s life on a day-to-day basis?
I agree with your critique of “Churchianity” and that the structure of a meeting on Sunday is not what makes a local church community. That community can manifest in many ways, just that, that community and commitment to others needs to be there. I’m currently in a state of life pondering these things and reflecting on your last sentence in your reply… which is to say, even before I found your blog. Relationships are messy, people are flawed on both sides, and churches are groups of all those people. Hard questions and hard answers.
No. You are wrong. As a believer my body IS the temple and As priest of my own temple, I can fellowship with others how and when I choose. I do not ever have to set foot in a church building again if I choose not to. The life I live and the spirit life I recieves comes from within me, not from an institution or from clergy.
It’s time to set the record straight. We are the House of God! We ARE the ecclesia.
Spiritual authority is with us, as individuals , not in church organization
Sorry Dustin, but I don’t think J.J. is alltogether “wrong” as you say. The activity called “church” in the west may look like a shadow of the new testament churches depicted in scripture. The “church” system that so many cling to as what they think being a christian is about may be flawed. But I do not think that discarding the blueprint in scripture for how “church” functions, or what it looks like is wise. There was minimum organization, structure, and heirarchy within those groups of christians that functioned as “church” without the heavy hand of an over-regulating church structure.
“discarding the blueprint in Scripture?” What is happening in most churches today is not the bluprint that God inteneded, but what happened when Constatine created a pagan/Roman hybrid religion in order to bring pagan and Christians together under one compromising religion. Constantine incorporated or instituionalized Christianity starting in 325 AD. This was the start of the great falling away or apostasy mentioned by Paul and others, even ‘antichrist’.
The organic, free flowing Spirit led communities were replaced by a hierarchical, Greco Roman inspired, Pagan influenced organized religion. The rise of the Roman Catholic Church begins and the world plunged into a thousand years of dark ages, the inquision, crusades, millions killed, all in the name of Christ.
In Revelation 17, the woman drunk with the blood of the saints was talking about the Roman Catholic church and the beast she rode upon was the Roman Empire.
So, organization, structure, heirarchy that is present in todays churches are hindered the growth of God’s people. SO, people are leaving and heading into the wilderness.
How can we trust in a religions system whose very foundation was not built upon Christ?
Dustin, you are right that “What is happening in most churches today is not the bluprint that God inteneded…” But the Roman era of christianity has nothing to do with the way the “church” is depicted in scripture. The “church” depicted in acts, and described throughout the new testament was hundreds of years before constantine adopted, or coopted the christian church.
True, but, the way church was depicted in Scripture was culterally significant to that time. It was day 0 so to speak. It was in it’s infacy stage and was not perfect. Paul tried to address mulitple problems and issues that were arising in those communities and the best way he knew how with the knowledge HE had. To try to apply all of Paul’s knowledge to today doesn’t always fit.
For example, Paul said woman shouldn’t speak in churches. We have evolved much since then. He also said woman shouldn’t cut their hair. Well that’s obsurd right? It is Scripture yes BUT, we must learn to read Scripture through a different lense. Otherwise, If you don’t sell everything you have and give it to the poor, for example, than you are not a follower of Christ. But we know that Christ was talking to those physically at that time and not to us. (because at that time the only way you could hear the Word was to phycially hear it through Christ).
So why then, would applying the way the church is supposed to be any different? The Scriptures cannot remain our only blueprint for how community is supposed to be because it is outdated in many parts. The Ecclesia is a growing, evolving organism and is not limited to the written letter of the Word.
Dustin-Tell it, oh, tell it!!!!!
I agree! The American Church today, even the evangelical ones are really no different than the Catholic church. They all believe the unchurched are ALL going to Hell. There is a freewheeled believer in the Bible and that is Abraham. He believed God and it was credited to him as righteousness. Genesis 15:6. Today on this beautiful Sunday after hearing yet another misguided pastor give me a tedious do more list, I decided to give up attending a local church. The belief that one has to attend a local church to spiritually grow is paganism at its worst. Paganism demands we dedicate an hour to the gods to appease them or improve your very existence. Sunday church is out for me and my family. 20 years of this crap is enough!
Mark and Dustin (and other likeminded responders)
You may be off onto something else by now, but I came across this site today while inquiring about a specific topic and am concerned about the overt and covert anti-Catholicism. “but what happened when Constatine created a pagan/Roman hybrid religion in order to bring pagan and Christians together under one compromising religion. Constantine incorporated or instituionalized Christianity starting in 325 AD.” Constantine did not incorporate or institutionalize Christianity. Read the writings of very early writers/apostles/Fathers. There are copies of some of the oldest versions of the Old/New Testaments (some OT books and some NT were later taken out about +-1500 years ago, which didn’t help me at all in my search.
I read the original purpose of the article and the response/letter as an honest attempt to seek answers about our search. Also, church is more than a building and a service once a week. To me, it is a community gathered together to worship God, and there is a spiritual dimension within the meaning of every word, gesture, posture. Of course there would be some structure. I admit to not understanding mega churches on TV with lots of music and shouting about hell(or the obverse: you can get anything you want on earth if you believe – and “plant a seed”), and as important – no visible crucifix. Still, if one person is helped by those to find Jesus, okay with me. Sorry that some find no meaning anymore in attending a local church service and wonder at the reasoning for not addressing their alienation with their pastor, minister, or priest. Also wonder at the level of religious education/formation that existed. I know mine was formal and limited but that was over 60 years ago.
Sometimes finding another parish or religion is helpful. I too left an organized religion for nearly 30 years and found that it was necessary for me to grow up and leave childish or perfectionistic ideas behind. I never denigrated my past because all things help us to grow. So, sometimes leaving is helpful unless we begin to believe that we are the alpha and omega. Our time here is limited! As believers in Jesus Christ (and even if some on this site are agnostics or atheists in disguise) we are all needing more love and forgiveness in our hearts. The Catholic Church doesn’t damn all others to hell. Not a good idea to blame any institution for the mistakes/misjudgments of some of its members. I agree: it has to be hell on earth (“crap”) to attend a religious service devoid of spiritual meaning. I Finally, if secular humanism continues to overrun christianity and/or if radical Islamists get here, none of the above will matter! Better for all of us to put on our big girl and big boy pants and understand there are real enemies.
Hey Jeremy, i do love your blog and sharing these voices of the so often voiceless. As you were once, I too am in a church leadership role and there have been times of great struggle, poverty, confusion, heartache, pain, anger and loneliness. I so do understand the questions of “why” and “what’s the point” and and and… It’s still a struggle at times to pick myself up and serve the “churched” as I’ve been doing for more than a decade now in two different countries to three different cultures, in three different languages…yet I’m also grateful that it’s providing me with platform to promote a bigger vision and dream God might have for us as we find in the life of Jesus.
One thing I have observed though (also as counsellor and business consultant dealing with many “unchurched”), is that so many leaving the “church” do not necessarily leave for greener pastures or find a “greater calling” or freedom. I have friends who’ve struggled in the “church” and are now struggling outside the “church.” They were unhappy before and they’re unhappy now. Their marriages were a shambles before and still are. Their prayer lives where struggling while sitting in the pew and are now just non-existent. Before they had some community (God knows how imperfect), yet now they’re more isolated than ever.
I realised that many are moving on to something else which is much better, yet many times many others are not. Different place same crap. I realised that perhaps Tony Robbins is right when he says: the quality of our lives are not determined by events, circumstances or people, but rather by the quality of how we communicate to ourselves and other people about what things mean to us.
What things mean to us determine how we feel about them which determines our behaviour. The moment we shift our focus from “me” to “Him” (truly), and serving other (sincerely) rather than fixating on imperfections of an “imperfect body” for example, whether that be in or outside of the “church” we receive a freedom and peace which no one can touch. And suddenly we find the strength to be open-minded and free in all that we do and with whoever we spend time with. Yes Jesus lived, ate and drank with the shunned, but he also spent allot of time in the synagogues even if it was just for the sake of upsetting the pious. That’s the only place where you can really get under their skin.
I had a professor once who told us of his struggles in the church when he was a young minister back in the day, and he was forced to wear certain clothes and behave a certain way. For a real open-minded and free spirit like he is, that must have been a huge pain. So we asked him how he coped. His answer? “Simple,” he said, “I wore the damn robes because I realised the moment I did, people where open to listen to everything I had to say, and that’s where I got them :)!” Communication. One person looks at something and say, “Why God?” Another looks at the same thing and says, “What God…what should I learn here; what should I build here; what should I do to set free…?” And the outcome is as different as night and day.
Great blog!
If you’re ever in Australasia pop in.
Cheers
Thanks Gideon!
I do know that the path of following Jesus described in the post above is not for everyone. I also know that there are some people who have stopped attending church for the wrong reasons, and maybe they would have benefited spiritually by sticking it out and continuing to attend church.
Having said that, I personally do not know a single person who has stopped attending church with the purpose of loving and serving Jesus in other ways where their lives are just as bad off (or worse off) than when they were attending church. For people who purposefully make the chose to follow Jesus and be the church rather than just attend church, all the people I know of this sort have way more joy, freedom, fellowship, community, and victory over sin in their lives than they ever had before.
Yes, it took some time for some people to find these things (sometimes even years), but as with all areas in the Christian life, nothing happens overnight.
I would live to just leave “the church” so many times, but then I remember the term really means community and we are called to build each other up challenge each other to grow. I have a really hard time staying at times, but realize that I am not there for me, I am there to challenge others to spiritually grow, stop judging and help become more Christ like outside of a weekly Sunday interaction. Of course I also wish and hope along the path others will help me grow too. The problem is, I am at a frustrating impass, unable to find a consistent teacher willing to be a mentor and feeling my humanness emotional self getting frustrated with the one or two outspoken judgemental parishioners rather than stepping away from my emotion driven ego and asking God to take the wheel.
I admit, if we weren’t called to be in community and hold each other to a higher standard and help each other, I wouldn’t go and I would seek just what I need to feel good. I just don’t think it’s all about the feeling good and getting what we want…. I think it’s a bigger package than that, and it’s filled with all of the mess that comes with it. If you have that community outside of church awesome for you! I unfortunately don’t and would live rather hermitic if I didn’t force myself to be on mission inside the churches I serve. I don’t know if my presence is actually making hearts shift or change, I gotta leave that answer to God… I am only there to serve him in my own weird way- as the outside sitting inside the 4 walls of “the church”.
Church actually means something closer to “gathering” and the way it is used in Scripture, it refers to the spiritual gathering of people by God into his Family. I cover this in more detail in my book “Skeleton Church” (there is a link up on the right sidebar).
Regarding community, of course it is essential and important, but who says that community can only be had in a church building on a Sunday morning or Wednesday night? In fact, as I mentioned in a comment above, it could easily be argued that even attending a church is no guarantee of true community. How many church attenders really know the struggles, cares, and concerns of the people sitting on either side of them in the pew?
People don’t stop attending church because they want to feel good or get what they want. That is a caricature that some people who still attend church put on those who have stopped attending. All the people I know who have stopped attending church so they can follow Jesus into the world have done it so that they can truly love, serve their neighbors without a religious agenda, so they can be with people where they are at, so they follow Jesus into places that some church people frown upon, and a variety of other such missional purposes.
I hear what you are saying about why you have left Church and that you can be a Christian while being absent from the fellowship but is it a healthy option, in deed is leaving the brotherhood an option,
In John 6 v 68 Jesus said “will you also leave me” Peter said “to whom should we go, you have the words of eternal life”.
I have read a small booklet penned by Timothy Keller called ‘The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness’.
Church is not for the benefit of it’s members, it’s not like a golf club, or a drama group.
Did Jesus and His disciples go round telling people about The Good News for His and their own benefit? most definitely not. Was it all a bed of roses being in the group that expanded from 12 to 72 and eventually hundreds? no,
Paul said in one of his letters “lets not stop meeting together”. There is no way anyone can grow as a Christian without attending and being involved in Church. Was Jesus happy being with thew followers? no He said “how long must I put up with you” slightly frustrated don’t you think. Did he pick up His ball and go home? no.
Instead of trying to find reasons not to go to Church, start seeing the reasons why there is no other other option than to go to Church. Come on, get back to Church, yes it hurts yes it’s frustrating, but you are needed to be there, did Jesus say it was going to be easy peasy? no has He given up on us? no. Don’t give up on His Church, it’s not the annoying vicars Church, it’s not the frustrating PCC Church, it’s his Church and You are needed to be part of it, to live with it and by loving it, warts and all you can be an important part that enables it to change and become His Bride, wrinkle free and spotless.
Today I’m off to see to of our youth get married, she will be perfect in every way through a real effort to keep her weight down her fitness up, has it ben easy for her? no will it have been worth it? yes. Lets join together are become the perfect bride for our King, but we can only do it together. Loving unconditionally can only happen in community. It;s no good saying “I love you God” yet not loving your neighbor.
Get back to Church, be an encourager. Love Clive X X X
Clive,
I think this person would say that they have not left the church and have definitely not left Jesus. They are still part of the church and are in community and are following Jesus more than ever. The church is not a place. It is not a building. It is not an event on Sunday morning. It is the people of God who follow Jesus into the world.
I imagine that the person who wrote this letter would say that she loves unconditionally the members of the church who want to still attend an event on Sunday morning. What she is asking is for church attending people to love her unconditionally as well, even though she chooses to be the church and follow Jesus in a way that does include the Sunday morning event.
Sorry, Jeremy, just wondering whether you meant in that last line… “doesn’t include the Sunday morning event”? Was that a typo?
No. the “Sunday morning event” is what many people call “church.” This is the event where people gather in a building for a few hours on Sunday morning to sing songs, pray, and listen to a sermon. They call this “church.”
But this is not described or defined as church anywhere in the Bible. Church is much bigger, larger, and better than that. That even can be part of church, but someone can also be part of the church even if they do not attend that event.
As I read this post, my primary question is, “What is meant by ‘attending church’?” If you mean no longer attending services at a local church house with pews, a parking lot, sanctuary and message board outside, then I am perfectly at ease with what’s being described here. And I say that sincerely as a pastor of such a church! Yet as I read the post and some of the comments, I don’t get the sense that those who stop ‘attending church’ are turning to other forms of consistent discipleship community at home or at the park, etc. I’ll not judge another’s servant, but as someone who loves the Church, I am concerned that the biblical norm and model not be abandoned. Again, the norm and model do not specify where the gathering of disciples should take place or what order of service or what style or instrumentation of musical worship, but the Scriptures are clear that we must be together as disciples in order to fully love each other. I notice the “one another” and “each other” commands in the New Testament letters written to congregations,and I realize that a person cannot obey them without being in a congregation of saints – whatever the form. May all who follow Christ, wherever they gather, know the beauty of life in consistent and accountable fellowship with other believers! (Please forgive me if I misunderstood the post and/or comments in favor of not attending church)
Yes, that is what is meant by attending church. Going to a building on Sunday morning, parking your car, walking in, sitting in a pew or padded chair, singing some songs, listening to a sermon, shaking some hands, going home.
This practice is wonderful for some, but others find different ways to live in community and express their faith in Christ.
I can’t say that it has been particularly great for my walk with God, but we effectively stopped going to church some time ago, partly because our kids were constantly sick, and partly because the church was so politically minded. When we do force ourselves to go we usually end up regretting it. The kids get sick and we get handed an offering plate. And that is far from the worst of it. Last time we went we were so disappointed that I said we should just skip church and do something good with our time.
Jake,
Many people are right there with you. It is not that church is a waste of time for all people, but some people find that it is not so helpful in the life with Jesus and in serving others and loving people.
I left ‘the church'( the conglomerate of over 30,000 denominations and sects, NOT the ecclesia) and have been thriving more and more every day. I still fellowship with other Christians, but also taking Christ’s advice that “those who are while do not need a physician”
I am sick and tired of ‘religious folk’ acting like if someone doesn’t attend church on Sundays that they are somehow not plugged into God. It’s retarded to think that pastors and clergy are the source of spiritual life. Or that church denominations somehow hold the key to spiritual life.
The old Sunday morning pew potato church model is failing fast. Why else are millions leaving, Especially youth? It’s just dumb to continue to support and finance a ‘once or twice a week’ gathering in the amount of billions of dollars every year. Are we not the temple? Are we not kings and priests?
Why are we still pretending that clergy and buildings hold some magical properties?? It’s ridiculous. People are waking up, and taking back their individual priesthood.
‘The church’ can either adopt change or get left behind by the age of spiritual progression.
Dustin,
You are one of millions who are finding the same thing. It is not that you have abandoned God, rejected Christ, ignored the Bible, or any of the other things that you might get accused of, right? Quite to the contrary, I imagine that while not everything is peachy keen in your life, there is a growing vibrancy with Jesus and an increasing desire to connect with others, serve people, love your neighbors, and so on.
Yes. I have never felt a greater love for humanity than when I left the IC. Outside the organized church, the spirit of Christ is able to flow unhindered. And you are right, the mark of Christ is an increased desire to connect and serve others. There is a great shift occuring.
It is almost like our ‘spiritual DNA’ is changing. It feels like it would be mentally impossible for me to sit through a church service and a hear sermon right now, especially after all the Spirit filled, energetically charged conversations and connections I’ve had with others in the name of Christ outside the church. I have witness what organic, unsuppressed Spirit life feels like and it is true liberty.
And to be honest, the current church model(scripted services, liturgy, sermons, etc is downright boring to me. And not just to me, but todays youth are in need of a different model, something that focuses on genuine connection and participation. Where they are free to ask questions, challenge doctrines, share their ideas for solutions to todays problems.
Loving others, making a difference and doing work that matters should be the focus of all believers, not playing church.
“Why else are millions leaving, Especially youth?” I would submit to you that the millions who are leaving are because they see no value in the organized church, and see to real difference in their parents lives as a result of attending an organizational church. I do not see a mass of youth embracing a real and vibrant relationship with Christ out side the church, studies show that most of them are not. I see a nation falling away from Christ, and the end result of that is an abandonment of an sometimes cliched, or archaic church.
“Studies have shown?” Let me guess, those studies were probably done by religious organizations.
How can a study show what is in someone’s heart or if someone is not in Christ?
What does it even mean to be “in Christ”?
It does not have the meaning that the religious world gives it(church goer, bible reader,scripture quoter)
To be in Christ may simply mean to embrace God within and walk in love toward all mankind.
God spoke to me and said, “Your relationship with me is not about going to church,” to which I asked Him, “Lord, how will they know I’m a Christian, if I don’t go to church,” to which He replied,”Yes, how will they?” This began the journey out of Egypt ;and into the wilderness training I went. He changed me from the inside out, and still is, renewing my mind and conforming me into His image, as He washes me with the Word of God, as my blessed Husband, teaching me how to prepare myself for His coming to get me, His Bride. What a different world and realm I find myself in upon my Exodus. It is one filled with communion with my Lord which makes each day interpreted through entirely different lenses; from natural ones to spiritual ones. Out of Egypt and into Christ, the only true Manna from Heaven, and I am satisfied.
Patti, wow!!! You shared this three years ago, and it has spoken to me today. Your words are exactly the words my heart has been seeking during my “Exodus.” Thank you a thousand times!!!
Hi, just wanted to share why I don’t go to church.
http://privatethoughtsofsteveedwards.wordpress.com/2013/09/15/what-is-church-2/
Thanks for the link, Steve! Will come check it out.
My dad has not attended church for years, and it has hurt our family immensely. And I say this out of deep, deep sadness. He is supposed to be the head of our family, yet surely if I just stopped going to church, I’m sure he’d have a problem with that. I try to give him respect but it is hard when he’s full of hypocrisy. Sure, I recognize that even as believers no one is perfect, but is is set in his stubborness. With no one else teaching him, he depends on his own beliefs, and he has no accountability when he sins (because he is the head of the household and he holds all authority). Why doesn’t he go? Because he doesn’t want to argue with a Pastor. And maybe he doesn’t want to be wrong. Why would he argue with the Pastor? Because my dad is the only person who can possibly have the perfect doctrine. Especially regarding Eschatology. Yes, my dad has basically invented the study of Eschatology. He is not accountable; he is proud; he doesn’t trust God very much at all; and he is always angry and very hateful of unregenerate sinners (and even some believers who may happen to listen to “rock” music or vote the wrong way). He watches the news and waits for the Lord’s return. He lacks encouragement and victory in his walk. Maybe he says all these good things, but he says them in a very wrong way. If I was a nonbeliever and I saw HIS brand of Christianity, I would be repulsed. And yet, I am his child. I can’t really call him out on it. I can only struggle with him and try to be respectful but it is hard because he says some good things in a very wrong way. What I’m saying is that we have church for a reason. It is important. Fellowship, accountability, to learn, to share encouragement If you aren’t finding doctrine and Christian fellowship at your church, find another one. We don’t go to church just to sit in a pew. Likewise, the Christian walk doesn’t stop when you leave the building. First and foremost, the Church is the people. I get that. And actually, I don’t care if you meet in a house or outside or in a tent. But MEET together, WORSHIP together, LEARN together, FELLOWSHIP together. Somewhere.
Deuteronomy 31:12-13 and Hebrews 10:24-25
Yes, it sounds like maybe his brand of following Jesus is not so healthy either. But going to a church building will probably not be the answer. There are lots of people who attend church in a building that are not spiritually healthy. I wish I had answers for you, but I do not.
For you part, just continue to love him as he is, and not put guilt trips on him for not attending church. Trust that God can work in your father’s life the same way that God works in yours.
Many well-meaning Christians today are unaware that the biblical concept of “holiness” is derived from the word “separate.” As such, commandments against inter-religious unity of almost any form are found throughout the Bible. Even into the New Testament, the Apostle Paul commanded the Christian community to remain separate from other religious groups:
My perspective is different from yours in that we were called to be in the world just not of the world.When i see the power of Jesus Christ it amazes me to think under the law meant that when a person touched a dead body or a leper they became unclean but when Jesus touchs the unclean he makes them clean the dead are raised to life and the lepers are healed that is why we are not to separate but to impart the life of Jesus to others.The natural path of christianity is to become more holy as he is holy we become as he is.brentnz
I quit going as their are many hippcrites there. Backstabbing, gossip of members, cheats and liars. My church turned into a social club so I left it and will not attend ANY church forever.
For myself , I left the “church system”. It was a confusing and frustrating time at first. But as soon as I decided to let the Lord lead me , and stopped trying to make sense of everything by my own thinking , then things turned around fairly quickly. At this time , I am very much part of the Church – just not the church system. I read the Bible for myself and don’t rely on someone else’s interpretation. Ask , seek and knock. Pray about everything. Read and research. I have found , over the last couple of years , that much of what I had been taught in Sunday school classes and sermons , are not what the Bible actually teaches at all. The church system , IMHO, is leading many people down the wide road to destruction , not the straight and narrow path to eternal life. Trust Jesus to lead. The truth really WILL set you free. Leaving the church system has given me a relationship with Jesus Christ that no Sunday sermon could ever produce.
I have been to 10 different churches over a period of 15 or more years. i was naive i thought when you went to church you would meet loving caring Jesus people. But i felt like a black sheep. One church was good but they did not believe in Hell, others didn’t talk about Jesus, the music was so loud and it felt like i was going to a coffee bar with people who were like the world. I got very discouraged, i now spend time with Christ in my Bible and trust Him, because He is the only one we can trust and He wont abandon us like people do. He know us they don’t.
The Lord said I come that you have life not I come that you have church. I have nothing against going to church. To each their own will but most are better at having church than they are at having life. I’ve attended many different churches and it’s like I just couldn’t connect. I had no idea why or what was wrong with me but lately through one-on-one contact with God through prayer, motivational speakers on the internet, reading, listening to gospel music I’ve become a better, more loving, understanding and forgiving woman. Everywhere I go God is right there in my every thought, all of my decisions and in my heart. This passion in me to chase him gets stronger everyday. I got this joyful feeling inside of me that’s impossible to explain. Every week I prepare to attend church but as I told my husband and kids this morning I don’t know which one to go to. I prayed and prayed about it but the passion to go is not there anymore. I realized I am my own Temple and I don’t have to be in a building to serve and follow the Lord who is my savior and is leading me step by step to him. So if I’m looked at as a fool that’s just fine by me because I will always be a fool for the lord.
I have left the anglican church I was attending because of its pagan rituals and leaving out parts of the Bible that should be taught. God wants to have a relationship with us, yet the church seems more occupied on making money and baptising everyone every now and then to be “saved’.
Baptism doesn’t save you, believing in Jesus does, it clearly states that in the scriptures, way too many churches are lying to people to be above God.
Making themselves vicars, priests etc. That is not allowed. God is OUR vicar, he is sovereign above all else.
Its hard to find a good church which preaches God’s word to the full, and puts Him first, not themselves and their Roman pagan styles.
Martin Luther has a part to play and so does the Roman empire, do not believe a word they say, it will have you judged by God.
We are at the end times now and time is running out to repent and do the right thing.
Read the Bible over and over, live and breathe by God’s word, a church cannot save you.
Jesus can and will, always.
God bless you and keep you
To be honest, very honest, I feel that my faith got stronger when I stopped attending church, as church for the most part filled me with doubt and the legalisms didn’t help.
Currently, after attending off and on, I think I’ll, instead, just quietly read psalms and pray at home. It may not be “worship” to some but it feels best for me.