Redeeming God

Liberating you from bad ideas about God

Learn the MOST ESSENTIAL truths for following Jesus.

Get FREE articles and audio teachings in my discipleship emails!


  • Join Us!
  • Scripture
  • Theology
  • My Books
  • About
  • Discipleship
  • Courses
    • What is Hell?
    • Skeleton Church
    • The Gospel According to Scripture
    • The Gospel Dictionary
    • The Re-Justification of God
    • What is Prayer?
    • Adventures in Fishing for Men
    • What are the Spiritual Gifts?
    • How to Study the Bible
    • Courses FAQ
  • Forum
    • Introduce Yourself
    • Old Testament
    • New Testament
    • Theology Questions
    • Life & Ministry

We Stopped Going to Church…Now What?

By Jeremy Myers
35 Comments

We Stopped Going to Church…Now What?

Jim GordonThis is a guest post by Jim Gordon.

Jim is the contributor for Done with Religion, a blog site about living for God in a non-religious way. Jim grew up being part of the Methodist church for several years, then was part of several non-denominational churches over the next few years before leaving the institution. He and his wife, after many years in the organized church, have been living for God outside the walls of the traditional church. They live in the central Ohio area. Along with his blog, you can connect with Jim on Facebook and Twitter.

If you would like to write a Guest Post for RedeemingGod.com, begin by reading the Guest Blogger Guidelines.

My wife and I grew up in the organized church, spent many years involved and enjoyed it. At the time we thought this is what God intended and was the only way to obey the commands of the Bible about meeting together.

After years in the organization, we began to have an uneasy feeling about the way church was done. We were very unsatisfied each week going to a building, listening to one group of people lead the singing, then listening to one person do all the talking.

We started wondering why the pastor was the only person who had authority to speak for God and tell us how we were to act and believe. When we read verses such as I Corinthians 14:26 about each one of us having something to say, we wondered why that never happened.

church crowdAfter several years of questioning and being unhappy with the way church was performed, my wife and I made a decision to stop attending and see how we felt.

Of course the first thing many people told us was that we were wrong for staying away because the bible says not to forsake the assembling of yourselves together. After thinking about that verse for a while, I came to the conclusion that it was not talking about an organized meeting once a week in a building. We took this verse to mean that we needed our brothers and sisters in Christ on a daily basis in normal day to day living.

The first several months after leaving church as we knew it, the thing that seemed like a priority to us was finding something else to get involved in such as a small group or house church. After a short time we came to find that many house churches and small groups were actually nothing more than church on a smaller scale.

Now that we have been out of the organized system for a couple years, we are coming to realize we are having more meaningful fellowship without any type of organized group or meeting. Living for Christ is a daily lifestyle not a one day or now and then way of living. Jesus is living within us by the Holy Spirit and we fellowship with Him daily. He has been bringing people into our lives that share our thoughts about organized church, some for a long period, some for a short while, and others just on a one time basis.

We have found that since being out of the church system, we depend on God more and enjoy meaningful fellowship with others more than we did when it was at a set place on a set time frame with only a few select people in charge and doing all the teaching.

We believe that Church is a community of believers who get together anytime, anywhere, no matter if it is only 2 or 3 people. This is the assembling of the believers to us, fellowship time together anytime God brings it about realizing God is within us and we are the Church.

I am not going to say that the organized church is a bad thing, though I do believe it is not what God meant when He said He would build His Church. I have many happy memories in church, made many friends there and learned a lot about our Father. Yet at this point, neither my wife nor I would want to go back into the organized church with its many doctrines and religious ways of doing church. We have found so much more meaning and fellowship outside the walls and we are enjoying our walk down this path God has lead us too.

attending churchWe also find it interesting that God leads us to people when we least expect it, even when it is someplace that no one would expect such as a restaurant, park, work or even a pub. We have also made a lot of friends that many religious people would not want to be around, yet the love of Christ within us draws us together in love and acceptance.

We were always taught in the church that we should separate ourselves from the non-believers and only talk to them when we could ‘witness’ for Christ. Basically that seems to mean talk to non-believers only when we can point out their mistakes or condemn them for their way of life. I never found in the bible where Jesus treated anyone that way.

If you are satisfied with the week to week services and religious ways of doing church that is OK. Stay there and enjoy the time you have with other like-minded believers. If you are questioning the way church is done, or if you are dissatisfied and looking to leave the organization then do so without feeling guilty. Seek God and ask Him to lead you, teach you and guide you in this new path outside the walls of religion.

God is Redeeming Church Bible & Theology Topics: attending church, church, guest blogging, guest post

Advertisement

65 Million American Adults Have Left the Church?

By Jeremy Myers
52 Comments

65 Million American Adults Have Left the Church?

According to recent research, of the 210 million adults in the United States, 65 million of them used to attend church regularly but no longer do, and 2.7 million more leave every year.

Church as we know it is dying.

[Want to read some of the research for yourself? Find numerous church statistics here (much of which seems contradictory) or get Josh Packard’s book which contains the latest research on this subject.]

leaving the church

But, in my opinion, this does not mean at all the church itself is dying.

How could it? Jesus said, “I will build my church …” Do we honestly think He will fail in this?

No, I believe the church of the future looks absolutely nothing like the church most people are familiar with.

In fact, for many people already, the church of the present looks nothing like the church of the past.

But that is not the point of this post…

I want to talk briefly about those 65 million adults who no longer attend church.

65 Million Adults No Longer Attend Church

A recent study on these 65 million adults discovered that while they no longer attend church, 30 million of them still identify themselves as Christian, and are still actively engaged in various practices and relationships that closely mirror some of the activities and relationships a person might practice in a church building except that they are no longer in a church building.

empty pewsThey firmly believe they are followers of Jesus and are still part of the Church, even though they no longer sit in a pew on Sunday morning.

Do you have a problem with that?

I don’t. I say, “May their tribe increase!”

But I don’t really even want to talk about them.

I want to talk about the other 35 million.

35 Million Have Completely Abandoned Jesus?

I want to talk about the 35 million who used to attend church, and who no longer do, and who no longer self-identify as Christians or claim to follow Jesus or worship God in any meaningful way.

For myself, I find that number highly suspect.

I certainly have not done any sort of scientific research into this segment of the population, but I work in an environment where I get to interact with a lot of religious and non-religious people, and I have had countless conversations with people who probably count as one of the 35 million people who used to attend church and identify as Christian, but no longer do.

And it’s true …

… They don’t attend church. They don’t read their Bibles. They don’t pray. They don’t call themselves “Christian.” They don’t claim to follow Jesus. They use coarse language. They live what appears to be completely “secular” lives.

But do you want to know what I have found?

I have yet to talk to a single person who truly has abandoned God or rejected Jesus.

I am not saying these people don’t exist. I know they do. I just think the number is much, much smaller than 35 million. I would be surprised if it was even 10% of that number.

i quit church

Here is why I say this …

When I talk to individuals who used to attend church but now want nothing to do with God, Jesus, church, the Bible, or anything of the sort, one of the initial questions I always ask is, “So why did you leave it all behind? What happened? What changed?”

Without fail, I get an answer that falls somewhere into one of the following sorts of explanations:

The church told me I had to believe in 6 24-hour days of creation 6000 years ago. I couldn’t believe that, so I figured that if this is what it meant to be a Christian, I couldn’t be one.

OR

The church was all about hate. They hated gay people. They hated democrats. They hated Muslims. I have some gay friends. I have some Muslim friends. I am a democrat. So I left Christianity.

OR

Have you read the Old Testament? God is drowning everybody who lives and telling the Israelites to slaughter people. I once told my Bible study leader that I was uncomfortable with a God who does these sorts of things, and he told me that I had to love and worship this God or I couldn’t be a Christian. So I’m not a Christian.

OR

Have you read all those silly laws in the Bible? Laws about what I can and cannot wear? What I can and cannot eat? Who I can and cannot hang out with? I like cheeseburgers. I like bacon. And I like hanging out with people who also like to eat these things. I couldn’t follow a God who made a bunch of dumb laws like that.

OR

My pastor was a pedophile and the church board tried to cover it up so the church wouldn’t split. I wonder how many children he molested which we will never know about? I couldn’t have anything to do with people who cover up things like that. So I left and never looked back.

There are a few other similar explanations I have heard, but those are the sorts of explanations I typically hear.

And do you know how I always respond?

Here is what I say:

Guess what?

God agrees with you.

When you reject a religious group because they are closed off about science, or teach you to hate people because they’re different, or tell you that genocide is good and holy, or cover up child molestation to protect a pastor, God cheers you on.

When you turned your back on these things, you did not turn your back on God.

No, you rejected the things God Himself rejects. You did not turn from God; you turned to God.

The truth is that you know what God is like, apparently better than many church people do.

God is like Jesus, and Jesus accepts everybody, loves everybody, forgives everybody. If you want to live like this toward others, then you have not abandoned God, but have been following Him (even if you didn’t know it).

Jesus condemned genocidal behavior. He condemned all portraits of a violent God. If you condemn genocide and violence, then you have not abandoned God, but have been following Him.

The only people Jesus ever condemned are the religious leaders who had a bunch of silly rules to keep people away from God and who covered over their own hypocritical sins and perversions for the sake of power, manipulation, and control. If you condemn these sorts of behaviors in religious people, then you are condemning the things that God also condemns, and you have not abandoned God, but have been following Him.

A lot of people, when they hear this, look at me sort of skeptically, because they have heard the exact opposite from most churches and church leaders. They often say,

Well, if you’re right, I could maybe follow a God like that. But I’ve never heard this before from anybody.

So if I get the chance, I approach the topic from another direction. I might say,

I don’t know if you believe in God or not. You say you don’t. Fine. But hypothetically, IF God did exist, IF there was a God, what would you like Him to be? How would you like Him to behave? What would you like Him to do?

I am not asking you what you think God is like, or what you think the church says God is like. I am asking you what you would like God to be like … if He exists.

what is god likeThey sit back, and they usually joke around a bit about how they want God to give them a million dollars and a mansion on the beach and let them live forever in perfect health.

But eventually, if I press a bit, they get around to describing a God who is not that worked up about sin, but who loves everybody and teaches people to love everybody.

They describe a God who understands how painful and difficult life is, and who knows that a bunch of religious rules and regulations don’t help.

They dream about a God they can talk to and who is with them in their pain, and fear, and sorrow.

They hope that God accepts people regardless of their sexual or political orientation, who sides with the poor and the outcast, who doesn’t have favorites, and who wants equality, justice, freedom, and fairness for all.

And as they dream dreams out loud about God, I get to smile and, when they are done, say,

Guess what? I’ve got some really good news for you.

The God you have described is the God who exists. THAT is what God IS like. THAT is the God revealed by Jesus.

The God you rejected, the God of popular Christianity, is not God.

You rejected a god who kills, steals, and destroys. But God doesn’t do that. You rejected a satanic version of God, which means that by rejecting that false god, you were actually worshipping the true God!

In your heart, you know God. You know what He is truly like. And so when you rejected the god of religion, you actually turned toward the God who truly is.

In fact, in turning away from that god, you were actually following the true God, and you just didn’t know it.

Most people cannot believe this right away, because they have never heard such a thing before.

But sometimes, this idea leads to further conversations, and further questions.

leaving church

Do you know someone who is angry at God, the Bible, or the church?

If you know someone who is angry at God, the Bible, or the church, praise them for it. Most likely, their anger is Godly anger. Most likely, their disgust is righteous. Most likely, they are representing God’s true heart.

The next time you encounter someone who has “left the church” or “rejected God” rather than tell them that they need to come back, instead, strike up a conversation by asking them what happened, or why they made the decision they did.

And whatever you do, never ever ever EVER have this conversation with the goal of inviting such a person to come to your church. Never.

no churchIf you have this sort of conversation with someone, and then you end it with, “So come to our church on Sunday! This is what our pastor teaches! His sermons are great!” you will probably never have a conversation with that person again. They will think that the only reason you said what you said was to get them into a pew at your church. They will see it as manipulative (and they would be right).

In fact, even if the person offers on their own to attend your church, please, tell them not to. Obviously, you cannot forbid them to visit your church, but gently tell them that since they know God so well, they don’t really need to “attend a church” on Sunday morning.

Invite them instead to just be open on a daily basis to what God wants to show them about Himself. Tell them that apparently, God has led them out of the institutional church for a reason, and so He might not want them to go back in. They are still part of His Church, but there might be something else He has in store for them that does not involve singing songs and listening to a sermon on Sunday morning.

Tell them that apparently, they have been doing a fine job of following Jesus, and they should simply be open to seeing where He leads them next.

This will be such a relief to them, that it might be just the thing they need to hear to encourage them to seek God and follow Him intentionally for the first time in their lives. For you have just told them that God is with them, that God wants to lead them, that they can hear from God and know Him within the community of friends they already have. They don’t need to add something “spiritual” to their life; they only need to recognize that God is already there with them, that their entire life is already spiritual.

So those are my thoughts about the so-called “35 million who have turned away from God.” I don’t think they need someone to invite them to “return.” No, what they need is for someone to praise them for their choice, and tell them that in rejecting a manipulative, fear/guilt/shame-based, violent religion, they have not abandoned God, but have actually followed Him into a place that look, sounds, and acts more like Jesus.

Maybe you will be that someone…

God is Redeeming Church, Redeeming Life, Redeeming Theology Bible & Theology Topics: atheism, attending church, Discipleship, following Jesus, leaving church

Advertisement

What a Day in the Life of the Church Looks Like for me

By Jeremy Myers
3 Comments

What a Day in the Life of the Church Looks Like for me

all about eveI am participating with several other authors and bloggers in a preparation for a conference in Portland called “All About Eve.” The other contributors are:

  • Wm. Paul Young, author of the The Shack
  • Deidre Havrelock, author of The Starving Church (and other books)
  • Skye McKenzie, author of Forty Days to Breakthrough
  • “Eve,” a follower of Jesus who has recently stopped “attending church”

The situation is that “Eve” has numerous questions about how to follow Jesus outside of the four walls of institutional Christianity. Go read her introduction here. I will be writing as her “pastor” to provide input and suggestions about how she and her family can do this. I put my introductory post up here.

All About Eve

I will be writing my post for the All About Eve blog on Thursdays for the next 40 weeks. I will be posting an excerpt of my blog post here, and then inviting you to go over to the other blog to read the rest of the post.

Here is an excerpt from today’s post:

Eve,

You have asked what it looks like for my family to go to church.

Let me try to describe it.

It all begins in the morning when my wife and I roll out of bed. While my wife wakes up our three girls and then makes breakfast, I stumble into the kitchen to make some coffee. Usually, my wife is several steps ahead of me, and the pot of black magic (aka “The Elixir of Life”) is ready to drink.

After breakfast, we all hop into the car and drive over to a local brick building. We go in and say “Hello” to the greeter at the front door. He sometimes gives us a little piece of paper that will help us know what is going on there that day. We then walk around a little bit, occasionally talking to people we meet. At one point in the morning, we give some money to a person standing behind a counter, and we often chat a little bit with them as well.

Then we leave Walmart with the things we just bought and go back out to our car.

The items we just bought are for a small gathering that will take place later that day at our neighbor’s house. We met him when we first moved into the neighborhood, and we quickly learned that he too is a follower of Jesus. So every so often, we gather at his house. Usually, before we begin, he shows us a project he is working on in his back yard, or a picture he painted when he was younger. His wife is also there, and she talks about their health concerns. Sometimes there is food involved, but not always. Then we get down to business.

On this day, we go outside into his front yard and start raking leaves. You see, he just recently had heart surgery, and is not able to rake all the leaves that have fallen. He also cannot run errands yet. We went to Walmart to buy them some food and household items, and are now at his house raking up the leaves in his front yard. When we are done, he thanks us profusely, and we chat a bit more before going home for lunch.

To read the rest of what a day in the life of the church looks like for me, go read the article here.

God is Redeeming Books Bible & Theology Topics: All About Eve, attending church, be the church, being the church, church, going to church, Theology of the Church

Advertisement

Church Membership – a Core Christian Doctrine

By Jeremy Myers
4 Comments

Church Membership – a Core Christian Doctrine

I saw this on Greg Boyd’s blog this week. I laughed and thought you might enjoy it too:

church membership

 

God is Uncategorized Bible & Theology Topics: attending church, church member, humor, laugh, Theology of the Church

Advertisement

Bible and Theology Questions 2

By Jeremy Myers
15 Comments

Bible and Theology Questions 2

The last couple weeks I have been working my way through dozens of Bible and theology questions which people have submitted through that “ask a question” area in the sidebar. If you have been following along, you will note that some questions require a whole post to answer. Others can be answered more succinctly. These shorter answers get put in one post like the following where I try to answer several Bible and theology questions together.

This post deals with Bible and theology questions about attending church, tithing, and…. masturbation.

bible and theology questions

Feel free to leave your own comments about these questions in the comment section below.


Question on Going to Church

Can a person be a Christian and not go to church ?

Yes! A thousand times yes! People who believe in Jesus for eternal life are the church, whether or not they “attend church.”

It’s an old saying, but it’s true: Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going into a garage makes you a car.

Similarly, a car can be a car whether or not it ever parks in a garage, and a Christian can be a Christian whether or not he or she ever attends church.

Scripture backs this up as well, for there is not one place in the Bible that commands us to attend church. Not even Hebrew 10:25.


Question on Tithing

If it is the priests only God is speaking to through Malachi, then why in 3:6 does the audience seem to change to the “the children of Jacob” and “the whole nation of you” in verse 9 –it seems there is a change here.

I imagine you read this post about tithing and your question is based on what you read there? Maybe you could leave your question in the comment section there so that people could interact with you on it…

tithingI probably should have clarified that Malachi was written primarily to the religious leaders of Israel, but not only to them. As the spiritual leaders, they were the spiritual representatives for Israel, and so naturally, Israel followed their lead. So Malachi 3:6 does mention the sons of Jacob, which may refer to all the people of Israel. Although even then, the statement in Malachi 3:6 is not so much about the actions of the son of Judah, but God’s long-suffering grace upon them. I read this verse as saying that God does not consume the sons of Jacob for the actions of the priests (or of the forefathers – Malachi 3:7). God is patient and long-suffering, and keeps His Word.

As to the statement in Malachi 3:9 about the whole nation, I did reference that in the post. Malachi is saying that the priests are not just robbing from God, but are robbing from the whole nation as well. This is further evidence that Malachi is primarily writing to the priests here, because if he were writing to all the people, it would not make sense to say that all the people were robbing from all the people. It makes more sense to see that the people are tithing, but the priests are stealing the tithe, and as such, they are robbing God and robbing the whole nation.


Question on Masturbation

I’ve been asking to be free/liberated from addiction to porn and masturbation. I have yet to be set free and I don’t want to lose my salvation because of it. Am I forgiven for doing theses things, because deep down I think it’s wrong, but I’m just not sure it’s a sin. I just know I’m a slave to this. Please help.

Honestly, this question probably demands a full post, but I just didn’t want to write a blog post with the word “masturbation” in the title… so let me see if I can answer the question briefly…

First, the Bible really doesn’t say anything one way or the other about masturbation. Sure, some people make some arguments from the Levitical laws, but I’m not going to get into all that. I don’t think they apply.

I personally do not think that masturbation is sinful.

Pornography, however, is definitely wrong, and almost all studies show that pornography and masturbation go hand in hand…. Sorry. Bad pun. Pornography objectifies women, creates unrealistic ideas about sex, and causes immense mental and emotional damage in the minds of men who look at it. Besides all this, there are numerous Scriptures which instruct men to not look at women lustfully (e.g., Matt 5:28).

But the real question is how to deal with the addiction of pornography and masturbation.

The answer to that is the same answer for any sort of addiction, whether it is overeating, drugs, alcohol, gaming, or gambling: Addictions are overcome only by the supernatural power of God.

How do you tap into this supernatural power of God? There is only one way: recognize that no matter what, God loves you and forgives you.

You asked about whether or not you will lose your salvation for looking at porn and masturbating. The answer is no. Why not? Because God loves you and forgives you. Only this knowledge will lead you to the freedom from sin that is yours in Jesus Christ.

As long as we are afraid of not being forgiven by God, that fear keeps us enslaved to sin. It only when we begin to understand the infinite love and grace of God toward us that the power of sin loses its hold in our lives. Fear keeps us in bondage. Fear keeps us trying to depend on our own effort and our own strength to liberate ourselves from our own sin… and it never works. Only when we lose the fear of losing God’s love, and come to see that God loves us and forgives us no matter what, do we get to the place where sin no longer has the draw that it once did.

I know that this seems backwards and upside down from what is taught in most Christian books and Christian pulpits.

I know that what I am saying sounds like people have the freedom to go sin all they want.

But you know what? This is what I read in Scripture. Sin has dire consequences, for sure, but one of those consequences is NOT that God will stop loving you or forgiving you.

I maybe should also share that I speak from experience on this sort of question. I have an incredibly addictive personality. I have been addicted to many things during my life (I am not comfortable saying which things on this blog). Some of the things I was addicted to for twenty years or more. For some it was only five years or so. Some of these addictions have caused great pain for myself and my wife.

I tried everything to conquer and defeat these addictions, from fasting and praying for days on end to accountability groups to self-help books. Nothing ever worked until I came to the realization that God’s love and forgiveness for me was without end. Though I continued to stumble and fall, the recognition that God loved and forgave me led, over time, to a lack of desire for that particular addiction. I cannot say “how” it worked, only that it did.

God is Redeeming Life Bible & Theology Topics: attending church, be the church, Bible and Theology Questions, forgiveness, go to church, Hebrews 10, Malachi 3, masturbation, pornography

Advertisement

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • Next Page »
Join the discipleship group
Learn about the gospel and how to share it

Take my new course:

The Gospel According to Scripture
Best Books Every Christian Should Read
Study Scripture with me
Subscribe to my Podcast on iTunes
Subscribe to my Podcast on Amazon

Do you like my blog?
Try one of my books:

Click the image below to see what books are available.

Books by Jeremy Myers

Theological Study Archives

  • Theology – General
  • Theology Introduction
  • Theology of the Bible
  • Theology of God
  • Theology of Man
  • Theology of Sin
  • Theology of Jesus
  • Theology of Salvation
  • Theology of the Holy Spirit
  • Theology of the Church
  • Theology of Angels
  • Theology of the End Times
  • Theology Q&A

Bible Study Archives

  • Bible Studies on Genesis
  • Bible Studies on Esther
  • Bible Studies on Psalms
  • Bible Studies on Jonah
  • Bible Studies on Matthew
  • Bible Studies on Luke
  • Bible Studies on Romans
  • Bible Studies on Ephesians
  • Miscellaneous Bible Studies

Advertise or Donate

  • Advertise on RedeemingGod.com
  • Donate to Jeremy Myers

Search (and you Shall Find)

Get Books by Jeremy Myers

Books by Jeremy Myers

Schedule Jeremy for an interview

Click here to Contact Me!

© 2025 Redeeming God · All Rights Reserved · Powered by Knownhost and the Genesis Framework