In a previous post, I mentioned that I visited The Refuge in Denver, CO. They describe it as a home for spiritual orphans, a place to gather hope.
Here is some of what I learned about “how” they do things at The Refuge. I don’t share this with you so you can copy it in your context, but simply to show you what others are doing around the country.
Main Meeting
Their “main meeting” is on Saturday night at a grange hall which they rent. The building is rather run down, but that is okay with everyone, since following Jesus isn’t about having nice buildings.
Since I was not able to attend one of their main meetings, I asked what they were like. Everybody told me that they were never the same. Sometimes they sat in rows. Sometimes in chairs around tables. Sometimes they sang songs, but not always. Sometimes there was a sermon, other times a group discussion.
One thing they do every meeting is communion. But even this is out of the ordinary. Those who come take turns providing the “elements.” In most churches, the elements consist of grape juice (or wine) and an unleavened wafer. But at the Refuge, the elements can be anything. They have used coffee and donuts,coke and pretzels, chips and salsa, and milk and brownies.
Frequently, after the meeting, many of the people get together for a meal, but I didn’t get any details on how this works.
Weekday Houses of Refuge
They currently have two Houses of Refuge, which function like a house church.
Kind of…
They meet in a home, and consist of a meal and some sort of group activity or discussion. The night I was there, we had lasagna. There was also coffee and dessert.
After about an hour of eating and chatting, we moved to the living room and sat on couches where we introduced ourselves (for the several new people that were there), and then discussed that the way of following Jesus was not upward mobility, but downward mobility, into the muck and messiness of life.
The discussion was facilitated by Kathy Escobar, but she is not always the facilitator. As with most everything else at the Refuge, leadership is shared. I was told that they often pick a theme to discuss, and then take turns over the next several weeks or months leading the discussions.
Near the end of the discussion, Kathy also passed around a sign-up sheet for people to bring food for the future gatherings.
Leadership at The Refuge
Currently, there are four co-pastors at The Refuge. They do not believe that there should ever be a single “senior pastor.” These four co-pastors do receive a tiny, tiny income, but nothing that anyone could live off of. I don’t know amounts, but I doubt it comes to much more than an average honorarium.
And the co-pastors are not “pastors” in the way most churches think of them. They seem to be closer to organizers or administrators of the church. When someone has a need, rather than call around asking everyone for it, they call a pastor, and the pastor organizes a way to help meet that need. Certainly, they also provide vision and spiritual direction to the church, but they are not the only ones who speak, or do ministry in the church.
Ministry at The Refuge
Many of the people I talked to spoke of the community they have fond at The Refuge. Most have never experienced any sort of community like what they have found here. I saw this first hand and sensed it as I watched them interact. In many ways, they are family. They are not perfect, but love each other anyway. They laugh together, cry together, and live life together.
As such, this is their ministry, and it is a compelling ministry for those who see it. I know I was drawn to it.
They also provide opportunities to reach out with love to other hurting people in the wider community. I heard some people talk about a service opportunity in a low-income apartment complex, and a few other things, but ultimately, their ministry seems to be each other.
When you are real with each other, as the people of The Refuge seem to be, this ministry is more than enough, and also draws other people in who are longing for communal love like this.
What do you think about all of this? Is it still too “churchy” for you? Are they not “churchy” enough? What do you think about how they have communion and co-pastors? Are there any other questions you might have?
Sam says
The Refuge sounds like a great alternative to a standard Institutional Church. I’m still thinking I’d like to visit them sometime when I can get a cheap flight from San Diego.
Thanks for telling us about what you saw, heard and learned about them.
Jeremy Myers says
If you can make it out there visit, you would enjoy it.
FedExMOP says
Jeremy,
First of all, next time you are in Denver, call and we can get together.
Second, I love the concept. The pastor of my church has been trying to move us in this direction for the last several years. I am going to have to go visit them one Saturday. Kathy sounds like she has some great ideas on doing church. Thanks for the info.
FedEx,
President,
Men of Praise Motorcycle Ministry
Sam says
I love the Refuge and what they’re doing in the Denver area. The Refuge isn’t a mega church, but a small eclectic group that accepts and makes a place for everyone “at the table”. Kathy and Karl (co-pastors) are two special people, as are the others who are part of the group.
Jose Sandoval Vasquez says
How do they support ministry overseas?
Terry Zeyen says
This group is out of scriptural order. It is unscriptural for a woman to be in the position of a pastor/elder (1 Timothy 3:2), it is also unscriptural for a woman to teach scripture to men in the setting of the local congregation (1 Timothy 2:12).
Sam says
If you believe that way you may choose not to be part of that or similar
groups, just as we and most people we know choose not to be part of any
group that does not give full equality to both genders. This is not an
invitation to debate. We just understand this differently.
Terry Zeyen says
Sam, it is not a personal preference, it is what God has clearly commanded in his Word as the order for His local congregations on earth. One can submit to his instruction, or not. The Lord disciplines those he loves.
K. Smith says
2000 years ago it would have been impossible for women to take leadership rolls in Church. But times have changed and women now have the respect and admiration of their fellow church members. Do you really think in today’s world women should not be on an equal footing with men?😊
Jeremy Myers says
Yes, they are an amazing group of people. Messy lives, for sure, but I think that where churches are not full of people with messy lives, the people are just hiding the messes in their lives.
Jeremy Myers says
I am not sure about that. Kathy has a blog. I linked to it above. You could ask her, I suppose.
Jeremy Myers says
I think I will stay out of this discussion…
Though for the record… I have a view of church where the whole question of women pastors becomes moot.
Sam says
I second that!
Terry Zeyen says
Hey Jeremy, here is a link to a manuscript by Dr. Arnold Fruchtenbaum on “The Local Church” and he has a subsection in the manuscript entitled “The Role of Women in the Local Church”, I will be interested in your thoughts. Also I am including a link to an audio version as well:
http://www.arielm.org/dcs/pdf/mbs106m.pdf
http://www.arielm.org/dcs/mbs106/dcs106.htm
Jeremy Myers says
Thanks, I’ll check it out as both of you are top-notch scholars!
Terry Zeyen says
You are too kind Jeremy. I love and appreciate you brother.
Kirra Antrobus says
I used to be in a small life group that felt more like church than Sunday morning did, except that we didn’t normally serve communion. I loved it, and it helped me to better understand the appeal of groups like this and home churches.
Jeremy Myers says
yes, there is an appeal to them. Often, however, they can become just as rigid and structured as the larger church gatherings. So “house churches” are not the cure-all that some claim.
Kirra Antrobus says
True. It’s much more about the people involved rather than the structuring of the group.
Jeremy Myers says
Right! It’s the people and the relationships that are built!