A critic paid me quite a compliment today when he accused me of befriending and conversing with atheists and people who use the “F-word.”
If only he knew the truth…
…but I’ve got nothing to hide, so it’s time for a full confession.
Guilty as Charged!
Wendy says that if I ever meet some prostitutes or strippers, I can invite them over for dinner. I have not met any yet (since I’m not going to the places they tend to hang out).
I gave a $50 Burger King card to a drunk on the street a month ago. If I had the time, I would have gone and eaten with him. I keep looking for him at his corner but haven’t seen him yet.
A while back we let an alleged murderer stay in our house for six weeks while he was on house-arrest. All of his friends and family members abandoned him when it looked like he was guilty, so we took him in. It was one of the best six weeks of my life.
One of our best friends is a swinging, pot-smoking atheist. He is one of the kindest and most generous people we know.
So not only am I trying to make friends with atheists, agnostics, and people who use rough language, I am also trying to befriend prostitutes, strippers, drunks, and murderers.
Why? Because in my experience, Jesus is more likely to be found among people we consider “sinners” than among people we consider “saints.”
Closer to Jesus
When I hang out with so-called “sinners,” I’ve never felt closer to Jesus.
If Jesus were walking the earth today, He would befriend and converse with these people too. Of course, the Pharisees and religious hypocrites would get upset at Him today, just as they did 2000 years ago: “Gasp! Jesus is eating with tax collectors and sinners! Doesn’t he know what they’ve done?” (Read Matt 9:11; 11:19; Mark 2:15-16).
Yes, He does know. That’s why He eats with them.
That’s why I eat with them too…. Not because I’m “holy like Jesus,” but because I’m one of those “sinners.” I hope that if Jesus were walking around today, He would come up to me and say, “Hey! I’m having a BBQ over at my place for sinners. Want to come?”
Definitely! Will there be beer?
What would I say to Jesus?
I’d say, “I’ll bring the beer!” (John 2:1-11)
Jeremy, you don’t know me and I don’t know you. I followed you here from the deconversion blog. Hope you don’t mind my two cents.
From my own experience as a Christian trying to be more Christ-like, I’ve found it can be tempting to socialize with Atheists, Agnostics, people who use rough language, homosexuals, prostitutes, strippers, drunks, and murderers *because* they’re Atheists, Agnostics, people who use rough language, homosexuals, prostitutes, strippers, drunks, and murderers. I’d have my ‘I’m not prejudiced’ scorecard out and mentally check off my new ‘friends’ as they fit into the token areas I needed to fill to be proud of myself.
I’m not saying you’re doing this. I’m saying I did, and am warning you about the temptation to do the same. Love people because they need love. Love people because they are people. Love people because God loves them. Love them because they’re lovable, or simply because you want to. Nothing wrong with any of that. Just remember that they are people, not just Atheists, Agnostics, homosexuals, prostitutes, strippers, drunks, and other easy labels that can be used to define a person, and make them less than people.
You may not have needed to hear this, but I’ve chosen to say it. Take care.
Good points. I agree with you. I do not think Jeremy meant it this way or does it for any other reason than being loving and accepting. Yet it is good to be reminded that people are people, not the labels placed upon them.
Quester,
You are absolutely right. I might be falling into this trap, which is a form of self-righteousness. As I read over the post, I am a bit ashamed I wrote it. I sound arrogant and proud, and have fallen into labeling people. Yikes!
I don’t want to view other people as anything other than people just like me in need of love.
Thank you for your kind and gracious words, and the loving reminder.
I’m not in the habit of deleting posts to hide the evidence of a mistake I’ve made, but this one might qualify. What do you all think…should I delete it?
Never delete your mistakes. Amend them, append them if you want, but don’t delete it. You’ll probably learn much more about yourself from this mistake and admonition than a thousand, “Yes, me too.”
Our lives are defined by our success but are driven by our failures.
And I agree with Jesse, as well.
Jeremy,
Well done again. I have a bit different perspective, first I agree, don’t delete. It is sufficient to clear your conscience. Next I would say that the labels do fit just like we are sinners and were once labeled this way. And the only difference is we have been given a gift that allows us to not choose to sin. In the end it is the gift of God that matters, not who says what or does what. Paul would become all things to all to save some.
Yes, I believe in good works towards those who do not know Christ, but I need the courage only God can give to accomplish anything to help them. Without that I am just operating in the flesh or worse.
We Christians all screw up all the time – anyone who says that they don’t sin is as John calls them, deceived and do not have His word internalized. John adds to this that “make him [God] a liar and his word is not in us.” (1 John 1:8, 10) I was a drunkard and a carnal Christian for once in my life. In another instance of carnality I was a self righteous pig. I won’t talk about the things I did before I believed. Believers can be just as sinful as unbelieving sinners.
I have befriended many who worked in strip clubs, frequented bars, and generally lived the “life” of this world. This is nothing to be ashamed of. In several instances, they came to trust Christ as their Savior. What would Jesus do is an apt statement. Would I risk delaying my sanctification to help someone from going to eternal separation from God – you bet. Like you the opportunity has not presented itself. Would I go with someone I trust is mature enough to help me keep my old nature from getting the better of me – yep.
Do I have the periodic desire to frequent those places I used to go and do the things I did when I did not know Christ – yes. Am I ashamed, no. Why, I have lived long enough to know that these things kill believers who live in that life (Galatians 6:7-8). Just ask my Doctor. But Paul goes on to say that we must not grow weary in doing good (verses 9-10).
And that is the alternative for us – continue to do good.
In His Strength,
Jim
Don’t delete it. You’re striving to grow into the person God created you to be, and you’re learning more as you do it. That’s the main idea, isn’t it? Jim provided a number of scripture verses. I’ll recommend 2 Corinthians 12 as another. God’s strength can often shine through our weaknesses.
I often find myself relying heavily on that assurance.
Enjoy your dinners with your friends, whatever other labels they may or may not fit perfectly within, and however you run across them.
Hi Jeremy
I will admit I have mixed feelings about this. I also have befriended young men that were just released from jail. Also feed drunks and wino’s. Did jail ministry. And I’m sure at times I had a self-rightous pride. I believe God new my heart though that I wanted to glorify Him. But the flesh will always get in there sometime or another.
The advice I would give you Jeremy is don’t EVER leave your wife and girls alone with any men. The Lord kept mine safe, but I would never put them in that position again. I had a young man come on to my wife. She made it very clear to me when I got back never to leave her alone. Which I was just stupid, and will never make the mistake again. Also my daughter we couldn’t find her anywhere. Finaly we went into the girls restroom and found a much older boy kissing all over her face. This was at church. Don’t think that I don’t trust God to take care of my family. But were not to be just stupid like I was. Thank the Lord nothing real bad happened. I’m not trying to persuade you not to do these types of ministry, because they are very rewarding and I’ve seen people get saved. But just take care of your girls, they are depending on God and God has allowed you to have them to protect and care for.
If I’m to negative here please just delete this.
blessings alvin
Alvin,
Good reminder. Yes, I will need to be careful about this, especially with three (and soon to be four) girls in the house. Thanks for joining in here! (I still think about your apple pies from time to time…)
I guess we can love people because they are unlovable like me and my flesh’s death bent proclivity at religious perfomance and pride. God commended his love to us in that while we were yet sinners(sinners are an unlovable bunch) Christ died for us.
I really have no advice but hope that you find a daily intimacy in the vine as a branch cannot bear anything of itself unless it abides in the vine. If we unplugg then each of us are open to the mercies of Satan for that amount of time that we are not in close communion with our Shepherd. Only he can lead us in the direction he takes us and only He understands what is going on in Jeremy’s life right now.
And all of ours.
I remember a text all of a sudden that goes something like this:
“Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace who’s mind is stayed upon thee”
Dont forget the people that REALLY sin, befriend them too 🙂
I come from a very perverse background (pornography), so naturally I sympathize with some of the worst people out there. I find that although many of these kinds of people may hide the truth of themselves to the outside world, there is a whole lot of honesty when communicating with them personally. This honesty I find, to be appealing. It paves the way for a humble spirit.
Thank you, Adnama. Thank you as well for being so open and honest. I would love to hear more about your story sometime. Have you written much about your story anywhere? If Jesus speaks the truth (and He does), you probably know more about the Kingdom of God than most…
Hi Jeremy,
The large majority of my closest friends, if not all, consider themselves apathetic towards religion and God. Over the years I’ve grown with them I’ve developed as a person with them, in some ways good and other ways not so good. My question is what is the proper way of growing in sanctification and practicing Biblical separation while having relationships in a time where spiritual matters don’t have as much influence over society as they used to? Especially for a weaker Christian like me who is easily tempted in many areas in my walk with God.
I don’t know if I have a good answer to this. I can only tell you what I do. I try to remember all the time how much God loves me, and that no matter what, nothing will cause Him to stop loving me. Then I also try to remember that I am an ambassador of that same love to others. I am to show them the same love God shows me.
In our experience, there is safety, wisdom, balance, discernment and power over sin, as a group of mature and close knit believers.
I think I’m hearing many experiences that are fraught with unnecessary difficulty and danger, because people are alone, without the manifold wisdom of God, that is found only in the body of Christ.
Tackling sinners and sinful situations is not a wrestling match. It’s a war. It’s the stuff of armies, not lone rangers.
We must learn the long lost secrets of how powerful a three fold cord (braid) is.
Individualism has infected the church like a virus, and the experiences of strength, overcoming and unity found only in a close knit Christian family have been lost to us. Our experiences with sinners, individually and collectively would be very different, if we were different.
Manifold wisdom? Does that make my car go faster? What’s manifold wisdom dear sir?
Aww fuck off Jeremy. No way! Lol. Surely it,s just a descriptive word. Albeit it has a violent connotations allied to it most often. Though you see my use of it at the start. Sort of sarcastic jest!? That,s an Irish man,s modus operandus. Very typical of our humour. Which is all fine and dandy. As long as your in the right fucking bloody mood! Lol lol lol. Jeepers! I can feel the flames licking my arse!! NOT!! Lol lol lol. Legalism eh!
Aaaaa Jeremy. Your a grand wee kid for sure! A true child of the living god. Go easy on yourself. Do you think it’s a perfect world? I do actually. At any given second in time the Lord is totally in control. And every second is a new creation. So how can it be anything other than perfect!? Seriously.!! It’s our perception that goes a bit ski wiff. Now that’s not to say my world’s perfect. Because its not my world is it!! Thankfully! Would be to much work for me and I, d fair mess it up. Or worse. I, d be like Attila the Hun some days. Put Hitler or Stalin to shame other days. Seriously!! Lol