Sam Riviera is a frequent and popular contributor to this blog. Many of his posts on loving your neighbors and ministering to the homeless are consistently among the most popular articles on this blog.
Based on his many years of friendship with lots of homeless people in San Diego, Sam Riviera has learned the stories of several of them, and, with their permission, is writing their stories in the form of letters to their dads. These are the letters that they might have written to their dads. Since it has been a while since Sam wrote one of these letters, you will want to go read the explanation about these letters here, and especially read the First Letter to Dad: Killing Me Softely, as the letter below follows on the events from that previous letter.
Dad,
It’s been over a year now. I’m still alive. Sort of.
You have no idea what it’s been like for me the past year. You can’t even imagine it. This isn’t rural Georgia, the town where you and I were born. This is the United States of America, land of the sick and twisted. I know ‘em. You’ve never made their acquaintance. Pray you never do.
Hell. They talked about it in church. Where I am isn’t a lake of fire, but it might as well be. Hell can’t be much worse than this. Maybe this is really hell and the lake of fire thing with devils and pitchforks was invented by Dante and Hollywood.
I’m not sure why I’m writing you. I guess I want mom to know I’m alive, but will you tell her? I’d tell her myself after you’re dead and buried, but I doubt I’ll be alive by then. Get on your computer and look up the average life expectancy for a homeless teenager who is a drug addict who is regularly raped by dirty old men.
I’ve got a death sentence. You were the judge that handed it down. You convicted me without a trial, with no evidence. Even if what you were told was true, so what? I’m your son. I know you’re more concerned about what people think than you are about your own flesh and blood. I might as well have terminal cancer. At least then I might be able to get treatment. As it is, I have no hope.
Hard to imagine, but Jesus is here with me right in the middle of all this crap. I was hoping he’d rescue me somehow, but it’s not happened. Maybe it’s drug-induced hallucinations, but I don’t hallucinate about anything else. I see him walking the streets, and he sits and talks with me. The other guys say it’s just some guy, but I see something different. I know what I’m seeing. He told me only small children and a few older people see him for who he really is, and most people don’t notice him at all.
I asked him if he hangs out in churches. He laughed. He said he does, but not many notice or recognize him. He said he spends most of his time where he’s wanted and needed. Not like me. I’m not wanted, needed, or loved anywhere. I’m just a user and mostly just used.
Remember those baby birds in the nest by our front door when I was little? We watched the mother bird build the nest, then looked in after she laid the eggs. The babies were about a week old. One day the mother bird disappeared and never came back. The babies were dead by the next morning. Abandoned and soon dead. That’s going to be me. Except I’m more like the baby the mom kicked out of the nest. Something must have been wrong with it. That’s what you thought about me. But nothing was wrong with me. You were wrong. But you still kicked me out and it’s too late for me to survive. I’m cold and sick, starving and afraid, and so lonely lying here in the filth waiting to die.
I’m still a teenager. I didn’t miss my childhood, but I will miss being an adult, all because of you. Can you live with that?
Jason
A gut wrenching story and I have encounted similar with youth on the street who have been abused. Life is hell for them but I take some small comfort that Jesus is right there with them and with him. Free will we have a gift from God but also is terribly misused by so many people, by families. I guess I do get a chance to help repair some of these poor souls if they live long enough into adulthood. Unfortunately they are the unseen, ignored and abused, lost. Hence the need for us all to push out into the reall world, their hell and be Jesus to these kids. Jesus calls us to push back at the kingdom of darkness. I feel sick
Grahame, Yes they are often unseen, ignored, abused and lost. When I’m writing the stories about a few of these homeless and runaway teens, I’m thinking in terms of kids out on the streets without their families, kids that mostly fall into the thirteen to eighteen or twenty age group. Based on the estimates of the people who work with them here in the San Diego area, we have two thousand to five thousand in our area. The number may be higher. Nationally, the number probably exceeds one million.
Not every one of these kids is sleeping under a bridge, in the bushes or on the sidewalk every night. Some may be “couch surfing” at a friend’s house for a few nights, sleeping in a car, or may have scored a cheap hotel room for a night. Many, however, are not so lucky.
Our fair city decided to survey some of these kids a few months ago. They found fewer than ten. Officially the city decided homeless and runaway kids are difficult to find. Unofficially, they doubt there are really thousands in the area. Most people walk past them and don’t recognize them. They are some of the truly “invisible people” in our culture. They want to be invisible. It’s a matter of safety. However, the drug dealers, pimps, and others who prey on these kids are very good at recognizing them. And using them. And abusing them.
Thank you for loving and caring for these kids.
Jeremy, I need you, I apologize for the messages,
I know your a busy man. But as soon as you get on Facebook please message me back. As I said I apologize for the messages, and I also apologize for the Gmails I only meant to send 1 but I made a typo. I need you. 🙁
These stories tear my heart open. As I struggle with a teen who is having a hard time making good life choices, I know I would never turn him away. I can see something bubbling just under the surface, but I can tell I’m not the one who needs to break that open. I’m trying to get him help, but he’s becoming more resistant by the minute.
Anyway, what I really wanted to say is that I’d love to take each of these kids and hug them, love them as they should be loved. But all I can do is pray for them, as I pray for my own.
Mitchell Firestone, I don’t know you or what’s troubling you, but please know that my thoughts are with you today.
Kristi and William, Many times the best we can do is love and try our best to be supportive of our troubled teens. Yes, some do make poor choices. It is not always the fault of the parents, the church, or other adults in their lives. Many of these situations are very complex.
On the other hand, we have heard many stories of teens who ran away before dad found out they were pregnant, using drugs, gay and so on. They were afraid dad would harm them. Many others did not run away. Their family threw them out of their home. “Disowned” them. The man who fathered them, and the mom who carried them inside her body for nine months threw them to the wolves because they disapproved of their behavior.
One of the points of writing these stories is to tell something about what happens to these kids on the streets. Usually it is not pretty. How does a kid survive on the streets? Mom and dad often have no idea.
As individual followers of Jesus we probably can’t solve this problem. But neither can we ignore it. We may not be the people who threw these kids to the wolves. Maybe it’s not really our responsibility to help out a kid whose parents threw him out because of something their conservative religion taught them (often in error). Or is it? Maybe we need to help the kids and open the eyes of the parents, the churches and the culture to what is really happening to these kids.
If Jesus could forgive the woman caught in adultery, the prostitutes, the cheating tax collectors and so many more, can we not forgive, love and help those whose lives are in a mess? Does that not look like Jesus?
I couldn’t agree more!
Kristi I counsel troubled youth, dis- empowerment of young people by society in general is often behind many problems, including perceived lack of trust. They want to be adults but aren’t there yet and would struggle to make good decisions due to lack of life experience and under developed skills in consequential thinking processes. I found by offering choices/options to them within boundaries and helping them consider consequences of their choices before hand opens up communication lines. Then trust them with their decisions. However in my case as a parent and grand parent also, its never easy no matter what you do. Hope this helps.
Thank you, Grahame!
Sam, thank you for writing. Jeremy thank you for publishing. This story wrecked me. I remember the first installment. It wrecked too.
I intend to read it again when I recover from from having read the sequel.
I plan to read them both to those present at our next house church gathering.
May God help us to always stop for the one.
Grace, peace and much love.
Bill
P.S. Jeremy, I owe you an Amazon Review. I am sorry that I did not post it as promised last September. As anticipated, I had the time to do it in September, I did not write the review becausee all of your books were stored in my son’s tablet, and I lost them all when the board died. I though about writing the review at Kinko’s., but since it had read the months before, I thought it best not to rely on my memory.
P.P.S. I am about to order Redeeming God on this device, a wonderful Kindle Fire that that a dear brother gave me loaded with with OT, NT, Historical Jesus, church history. historical theology, biblical theology, systematic theology and philosophical theology books. I feel like a kid INA candy store!
William, These stories wreck us also. There are so many more. Sometimes it seems that there are far too few who care, but many who want to dispose of the problems (the kids), and others who want to use them for their own purposes.
Many of these kids come from good families. Many more come from dysfunctional families. How can you and I change these families? What can we do about parents who throw away their kids? What can be done about the people who use and abuse these kids? – Maybe we can start at home, then speak out to our families, friends and churches. This “problem” is our problem. It is the churches’ problem. It is our country’s problem. Ignoring it, pretending it does not exist will not make it go away. It will only become worse.