This post is part of the February Synchroblog “Cross Gender Friendships”. I will list the links to all the contributions at the end of this post as soon as they are available.
Several years ago I attended a three-week training conference in Georgia for my job. I was warned before I went down there that it was a very “sexualized” environment. The warning was an understatement. While there, it seemed that nearly everyone in my group “hooked up” with someone else. My roommate slept with at least two different girls, and in the morning on my way down for the continental breakfast at the hotel, it was not uncommon for me to see guys coming out of girls’ rooms where they had clearly spent the night.
Due to my position at work, there were certain elements of the training I was exempt from. There was also a female in our group who was similarly exempt, but for different reasons. But we weren’t allowed to just sit around and do anything we want while the rest of our group was out getting trained. No, we had to study together for some other exams which we would take at the end of the three weeks. The instructors put the two of us in a room together for hours on end to read our textbooks, do our research, and quiz each other about what could possibly be on the exams.
At one point during these study sessions, she said, “Do you think that cross-gender friendships are possible?”
Call it sexism, patriarchism, or whatever, but I immediately answered, “No. I do not think so. While they might be possible for women, they are not possible for men.”