Ben posted a comment on one of my posts, and I went and read his blog (as I do with almost everyone who comments on my blog… so if you want to be read… make a comment!), and found an article he wrote called “I’m Tired” about his experiences in church.
Here is some of what he wrote:
I’m tired….
I’m tired of people being entertained and not being discipled (not suggesting these HAVE to be mutually exclusive).
I’m tired of the poor not being fed. (I couldn’t tell another person asking for some money to feed their children that we cant give them anything (because its policy) when we have 6 plasma screens hanging on our stage – I know the story of the costly perfume etc but I don’t think this means that it is OK to have expensive toys and NOT look after the poor).
I’m tired of hearing/talking about how to “DO” church and want to start hearing/talking about how we “BE” the church.
I’m tired or having to wonder if these very senior Christian leaders are even saved.
I’m tired of evangelism and missions ‘not really being the thing that we do’.
I’m tired of controlling leadership.
I’m tired of legalism.
I’m tired of Christian Celebrity.
I’m tired of 90% of the congregation not being ‘engaged.’
I’m tired being of being sung at in ‘worship’
I’m tired of paper work and just want to get my hands dirty!
I’m tired of being judged.
I’m tired of Christianity only being accessible to the intelligent.
I’m tired of preaching where its all about me.
I’m tired of preaching that suggests that Jesus died so that I can have a Ferrari. (I mean what’s wrong with a porsche? 😉
I’m tired of Christianity being ‘Sunday-10am-centric’.
I’m tired of people thinking that I’m backsliding if I skip a service.
I’m tired of the mindset that I have to dress up to honor God when I go to meet him at the church at 10am on Sunday. Do they not realize that God was with me all week, when I woke up, when I had breakfast and even when I farted?!
I’m tired of being tired.
You can read the rest of Ben’s post here. Ben, I’m Tired too! Great post. Keep ’em coming.
2012 Note: Ben didn’t keep ’em coming…. He only made one more post after this. I hope my re-post didn’t scare him off…
Hey Jeremy,
Thanks for your comments! I’ve been having a read of some of your posts and find that I’m really agreeing with a lot of what you are saying. Seems that we are on a similar journey.
Look forward to more to come…
Be blessed.
Ben
I too am tired of these things – and I nodded my head in sadness at each one. But there is one more thing I am tired of: I am tired of reading lists such as these. Is there anyone out there doing well? Can anyone point to a group of Christians who are living the faith?
Apparently there is a possibility there is none, at least not dwelling in the building. Most true disciples /or worshipers do not attend. Today 5/1/2016, I gave into my tiredness, but never on God. I am tired of all the things Ben is and more. I am especially tired of the Church reasoning for not growing, and loving as we are commanded. This excuse, we’re not perfect!
I too am tired of most all the things you spoke anything on and others. I am 70 years old and a minister…an I am tired of the hypocritical “church”. I have found that organized any thing soon break down where the leadership becomes corrupted and they take on the mantel of Jesus and declare themselves The Head of the church. I was in the military for 26 years and never thought that I was above the people subject to me, but I was responsible for them. Some pastors want the congregation to be responsible for their(pastors) lively-hood.
I know that most of the pastors go to some type of Christen school and become “learned men of God”. So my question is; why are you not teaching the truth about being a real Christen. Why are we still celebrating Easter when talk about the risen Christ. Why are we still including Santa Clause when we talk about the birth of the Savior. Why do we make it complicated when we talk about receiving salvation. These and other questions are paramount in my mind as I watch the “church” become little different than the World. I eagerly await any response to my questions. SLY
Benmelek (son of the king!!),
Good question. It is not enough to just point fingers and criticize. The church has enough back seat drivers. We need to do something about the problems we see.
Here is a link to another blog that asked the same exact question, so that might be a good place to start.
Vince Antonucci and Forefront Church
If anybody knows of any other churches that are doing an exceptional job living like Jesus in their communities and reaching unbelievers, please post them below. Thanks!
I’m tired of uncomfortable church pews…
Ha ha ha! Me too. I had a friend once who wanted to plant a church with all La-Z-Boy recliners instead of pews….
Hey when I first went to church it was Catholic Church. The pews didn’t have padding and the kneelers were so worn you’d have to pull splinters out of your knees. There was also no carpeting so if you were a kid and fell off the pew you got a pretty good goose egg on your noggin for going to church. I am 61 years old, so that was quite a while ago.
Oh a place for more ‘lazy boy’ christians 🙂 Paul or even John the baptist would have loved that.
boy howdy do I agree !! \As I was growing up in the 70’s as a Christian,the church leaders as well as it’s flock were more concerned with what I watched at the theater and about the rock music I was listening to than anything else..it’s now 2014 and it’s STILL the same old song and dance to the tune of legalism. and I still watch movies they wouldn’t like and listen to music they would find detestable..and I still have a great relationship with the lord..go figure..
Yep. We focus on some crazy things in the church, don’t we? All while ignoring the things that matter most, like kindness, generosity, honesty, grace, forgiveness, and mercy.
im tired too of going to church, i am 17 years old and live with my parents that are of this christianity at 18 i can leave house yeaaaaaaaa not having to go ever again to church, that means No more legalism, No more judging No more having to go to sunndays in crazy rainy days and burning hot days, No more having to be presioned by the church doctrine i can be able to get a girlfriend and have relations and happly get on with my life 🙂 actually in my family all my cousins left church because they werent able to handle all of the church commands and so do i, we are no longer living in the monarchy kingdom times we are in the 21century and have the right to have freedom.
I hope you discover some day that the church you are familiar with is not the only way church can be. In fact, there are millions of people who are part of God’s church that never set foot in one of those buildings on Sunday morning.
I’m sick of church. I gave so many different churches a try but just kept getting disappointed. Very rarely do find people in church care about each other these days. I’m not giving up on my faith, but the modern day church is disgusting. I used to enjoy it a long time ago, but now things have changed. I don’t even wanna go to this Christmas Eve service tonight, but my wife is going to throw a fit if I don’t go. I haven’t gone to church in a month and I feel the same. Sitting in a church week after week listening to a man tells us how to behave and think according to his interpretation of the bible is getting so old. I’m sick of being a pew warmer and nobody wanting to listen to what I have to say or giving a crap when I’m in desperate need of help. Guess what church the world is about as good as you right now. Only in some foreign countries are churches doing their job. Over here most of you don’t even care the millions of your brethren are getting tortured and slaughtered around the world.
Uncle Bob, If you look through the archives (find the button at the top of this page), you will find numerous posts written after this post was written that discuss similar issues. You would find some of those posts and the comments on them interesting reading. You are far from alone in your observations.
I understand your feelings. Note, of course, that even if you don’t “go to church,” you are still part of the church as a follower of Jesus. Some people find it extremely helpful and beneficial to do the congregation thing on Sunday morning. If you decide that this is not for you, just make sure to look for other directions in which Jesus might be leading you.
Thanks Sam, just to have someone understand what I’m saying means a lot, because most christians I’ve encountered don’t seem to think so at all. I really wanted some good fellowship with the church. Some close brothers and sisters wanting to just talk encourage each other and get to know each other, pray for each other and learn. But I guess I’m asking for way too much. It’s funny because I’m in the world oftentimes with coworkers and other people who are a pain in the butt to deal with all week long; so when sunday comes around and it’s time for some godly fellowship everyone is ready to scatter and take that afternoon nap and watch the tv. Well, I’m sorry but I didn’t come to church to just sit there and listen to a sermon. Yes they can be inspiring, but I’ve usually heard them several times before. I’m just a body, a number I feel. I’ve heard all the excuses and sayings to like, ” you just gotta put yourself out there and serve”. Or “everything will change once you become an official member.” Or, “church is for God not for us.” Theres many other things people say too. I’ve followed what they said to and it didn’t work, still ended up being a pew warmer basically.
I had some really really really difficult times I was going thru and was never able to get help from the church. There were a couple individuals that were there for a moment, but that’s all. I don’t understand what in the world were supposed to do. When we have nowhere else to turn. I mean I know we’re supposed to pray, which I do; but sometimes not all of us have people we can go to. I would prefer to seek church help, but it’s just not there anymore. I’ve sat and sat and sat so many times, even hoping someone would try to just start a conversation or at least start somewhat of a relationship; but that hasn’t happened. It’s not that I don’t have friends, because I have more than I can keep up with. But if I’m attending a church organization week after week and pretty much function as nothing but a pew warmer then I don’t want it anymore. This I feel is only scratching the surface, I have many more grievances; but don’t want to sound overly negative. i really don’t know what to do anymore; I just keep myself busy with the rat race because I can’t seem to get much spiritual help anymore.
Uncle Bob, A few years ago I could have written this myself. You are not alone in what you say. I’ve pretty much felt all the things you do, and know many others who feel that way. Sometimes I think of the institutional church that we experienced as something akin to a place that advertises itself as a restaurant. When you show up, you hear people talking about food, you see pictures of food, books about food, and hear a lecture about food, but when you leave you realize that you never actually got any food.
What happened? Maybe some people knew where to find the food. Maybe it was in another room. Maybe you missed the fine print in the bulletin and the food is being served somewhere else later in the day.
However, every time you go back and try to find the food, it eludes you. You can’t find food, and nary a drop of water to drink. Is this just another version of “The Emperor Has No Clothes” but everyone is afraid to say so, or are other people somehow getting something to eat but tricking you and not explaining to you where the food is? Personally, I and many people I know would vote that the former is the case.
My wife and I do not attend the institutional church, and have not for maybe six or seven years. Our church is among people we know, many of whom live in the streets. That is not for everyone, but it works well for us. Some are happy with their institutional church, and I take their word that their group is different than what you and I and many others have experienced. But as for me and my house, we find church elsewhere.
I’ve written several series series of posts on this blog about some of these issues. If can’t easily locate them, I can give you links to some of the most relevant ones. If you’d prefer, if you give Jeremy permission (you can do that in your response to this comment) to share your e-mail address, we could talk by e-mail. Who knows? I may even know a Jesus follower in your city who could be a good sounding board for you.
Sam is fantastic in his insights about church and following Jesus by loving others. There are millions of people just like you, Bob, who feel the same way you do.
I invite you to check out the “Beyond the Box” podcast by Steve Sensenig and Raeborn Johnson and the “God Journey” podcast by Wayne Jacobsen. Both have been helpful for me in my own journey.
Yes, communicating by email would be good. The email I used to post this comment I check all the time. It looks like I might end up just going to church again today because I don’t feel like arguing with my wife about it. Maybe in someway it will be good for her. It’s strange though, it seems every time we go to church after we come back home one of us is usually frustrated or angry, and I feel gloomy oftentimes, even if it’s a lighthearted positive sermon given. So Im mad on the inside about going, as I feel a lot better when church routine is out of my mind. I must also say the extra hours saved on Sunday is sooooo nice; it might not seem like much but I’ve gotten a lot done in those 2 1/2 hours, or had myself a really nice nap. I’m sure that sounds terrible to some but I was praying a lot at the time and attending a small bible study group with some of my friends anyway. I’ll have to come back to finish this post as I need to go warm some pews right now.
There was this independent baptist church I went to for a couple years, the pastor’s sermons were on point; they were very powerful and inspiring. The was no liberalism creeping in, but it felt alive and comforting, at first that is. I then realized that the people in that church did not care about each other(at all) minus maybe a few members. And the pastor, the one with the suit and tie, powerful sermons, neat tidy clean facilities, missions programs and everything was the one that cared the least. After really trying, and I mean REALLY trying to establish relationships with people and with the pastor, I realized that the majority had absolutely no interest whatsoever. Every Sunday as soon as church was over everyone would just rush home, a few would catch the other services offered Wednesday’s and Sunday evenings, but they hardly spent anytime with each other at all.
They claim that this church is the family of God and sing about it everyday, that would make me so mad inside, because how does the “family” of God know almost nothing about each other or care about each other. I don’t want a fake smile and handshake; I can see through it. I gave a lot of money to that church, and although I’m sure they would spiritualize it; it was paying a good portion of the pastors check. Here I am, in desperate need of help and I can’t get any. Of course I can give a percentage of my check though.
I remember going to a wedding with the pastor and some church people. When we sat at the table it just felt retarded. I’m sitting there and it felt so uptight and unsocial that I just can’t understand it. I could see a couple sitting there that just wanted to talk and get to know each other. They were hungry for some fellowship I could see it in their eyes. But did they get any? No. We just sat there like some boring grumps, so much for a “family”.
I wasn’t the only one either. They’re were several others that left for very similarly reasons. Some people saw through it the first day and never came back; but I certainly tried to give it the benefit of the doubt. There were plenty of other things that were off; and this is one of many churches that Ive been to. Pentecostal, all kinds of baptist churches, seventh day Adventist, Methodist, non denominational, home churches, military chapels, bible studies, Protestant and a bunch of others I can’t even remember. All of them had problems that were too big to ignore. There were some very good individuals, no doubt at all. I have some pretty solid friends from some of these churches. But with all the problems, that I could probably write a book about, I can’t do it anymore. It is dead to me now.
Just before typing this, I was reading an article on stevequayle a website, that just popped up, about Christians leaving church. It clarified that they are not giving up on God and their faith at, but are certainly giving up on church. It truly seems this is a rapidly growing trend, and I do not believe for a second that is the fault of the people leaving. Churches have failed their brothers and sisters BIG TIME.
I should add that I don’t believe this is a problem in all countries, but probably a few especially western and westernized countries. A part is our corrupt society has seemed to have molded people so much that, they don’t really change much when they are in the church.
All good points, Uncle Bob. Yes, there is a growing number of people who have not given up on God or stopped following Jesus, but who are stopped doing the “Sunday morning congregation” thing. That article by Steve sounds good. Do you have a link?
it’s interesting because while there’s all kinds of denominations of churches, none of them can seem to keep very simple concepts figuredout . I used to be in the the KJV only conservative baptist type churches; I thought that was the real deal. They seem to preach all the rules but forget about the most important one “love”.
Its a relief for me to read these comments and see that I am far from the only one tired of the American church. After being in an awful trial and watching the way the church failed me, my husband, my marriage…wow. When a person is in need and begs..literally begs…the church to help only to be ignored….well, its pretty awful. I tried finding a new church but what I found was very unBiblical teaching, churches focused on improving the literal aesthetics of the building, and churches who are far from a body of believers gathered to worship, serve, or learn. I DREAM of a church where we meet to go out in the community and serve instead of sleeping through sermons and a church where living beings come before fancy lights and gossip is not the norm.
My only concern with NOT attending on Sundays is that the Bible talks about the importance of gathering together for worship. What do you all think about that?
Many have grown tired of the American institutional church. We know numerous people who have tried church after church and have found similar problems in all they tried.
The supposition that most modern churches are modeled after the earliest church is probably just a supposition. There is little to suggest that the two are similar. We usually have large buildings on large properties with paid staff, sometimes numerous paid staff. Most of the rest of us are primarily observers. Many of us have difficulty finding any “fellowship”.
It is indeed possible to “worship” outside that model. The difficulty for many of us is figuring out how to do that. With the institutional church, all we need do is find a church, walk in and sit down. Music, Bible reading, sermon and more is all part of the package presented.
For those of us who found that package lacking, especially in the areas of providing connection to other believers, real fellowship, opportunities for service, help with spiritual growth, opportunities for discussion, opportunities for more than one viewpoint and many other things, we must find those things elsewhere. There are many posts on this blog that suggest ways to do that.
Go to the search box at the bottom of this page, and type in terms such as church, worship, neighbors, fellowship, service and so on. If you can’t find what you’re looking for, reply to this comment, indicate exactly what you’re looking for and we’ll help you find posts or links that should help.
The commands of The Lord under the New Covenant are so simple. Love God. Love the people of God. You can’t love someone you don’t know. You can’t get to know someone by lookin’ at the back of their heads two hours a week. I mean it is so dysfunctional. Can you picture a husband trying to flesh out love for his wife and children by standing behind a wooden thing and giving a speech once a week? Really? I can’t imagine how many people are stranded, no tormented, by that horrid isolation. I can only say that I am so very sorry. My conclusion is that the real resolution is the Return Of Christ. Boom! Struggle over. Game done. Oh how deeply do we need His Salvation. Maranatha!
http://billmuehlenberg.com/2014/12/26/on-leaving-church/
Uncle Bob, I’ve read several similar pieces in the past two or three years. Maybe they’re basing their articles on a common source. More likely is that these articles are reporting similar observation on the growing tribe of those who have left the institutional church, but who have not abandoned their faith.
Bill’s post reminded me of an incident that occurred in one institutional church where I was part of the leadership team. At a meeting of all of the church leadership I reported the statistics on how many people had left the church in the previous twelve months (almost 15% of the congregation). The head of the deacons and elders commented “That was just the riff-raff. Most of those people didn’t give much money anyway. The money is still good. When the giving goes down, then we’ll worry. For now we have nothing to worry about.”
I am suspicious that attitude is not all that uncommon. From what I read, however, the giving has gone down in many churches (and people have also left), and now those churches are beginning to worry. Apparently many of them are in the dark about what is happening and why and don’t know what to do about it. Maybe it’s like the bakery owner who loved fruitcake and continued to bake fruitcakes after Christmas. His customers told him they weren’t interested in buying fruitcake for Valentines, Easter and the Fourth of July. He ignored them until he couldn’t pay his rent. By then it proved too late to save his business since many of his customers had abandoned him and some had even given up their interest in baked goods.
i get angry just reading your post, because you nailed it. Looking at the backs of people’s heads 2 hours a week, only to get a handshake, smile, and a “good morning,” doesn’t quite cut it for many of us anymore. How come we get to spend time in the world with godless people, observing their bad habits, politics, and behavior All the time; but that one chance we get to be with our “brothers” and “sisters”, our “family of God” we get nothing.
Please remember this. . . ” Whatever you find lacking in the Church’ God has anointed YOU to supply it.” So why don’t you resign from your tiring church, go out there and plant your own dynamic community and show us how it’s done.
I love what Ben posted. He may not realize how great that it is. It forces us to seek out all those things that God meant for us. Please check out my website, http://www.yetnotibutchrist.com/, for those that are tired of rote Christianity and want to know who they are in Christ.
I am tired of Christians. I do not believe nor do I plan to change my mind. I was raised to be believe but I no longer believe. WELL out the wood work is the believers trying to pull me back in. I was so unhappy and uncomfortable as a believer I wanted to die. WELL I feel so much better. LET one of god’s people find out I dont believe here comes the bullying. They are crazy, unhappy, bullies and I choose not to be a part of their belief system. I am tired of god’s people trying to force their beliefs on me.
RE: Dressing up for church.
In James it speaks of the rich man wearing fine apparel and jewellery (flaunting his wealth and floating his social status) and a poor man coming into the meeting dressed as he is (remember there was a slave class in those days). Those who are there are NOT to show partiality to the rich. But it also begs the question if you have these two extremes then what was everyone else wearing? 😉
Their normal clothes.
They met in homes. No one conceived of the idea of having to dress up for a ritual. Or dressing one way when visiting their friend’s home during certain days and hours and to dress another way at other times.
The tradition of dressing up began in Constantine’s time since one never knew when the Emperor would show up in one of his converted pagan temples (i.e the church building). And so you dressed up so as to not offend the sensibilities of The Emperor.
This continued on into the Middle Ages in Europe where The Cathedral was the only place where royalty and the peasants met under the same roof.
For more traditions get a copy of Frank Viola’s PAGAN CHRISTIANITY.
What tires me is how one can attend the ritual for decades and never be allowed to function or minister at all.
The paid pastor is THE MOUTH and all others are THE (passive and homogenous) EAR. With only The MOUTH and THE EAR present THERE IS NO BODY. (Compare this with a functional church mentioned in 1 Cor. 12-14). “Let 2 or 3 speak and let the others judge… these are the commands of The Lord.”
Ephesians 4 says that the purpose of the various ministries is to train to maturity and equip the others for ministry. It doesn’t happen when the church gathers so where it that to happen? Going to Bible College where one can learn to regurgitate someone else’s commentary on The Bible and do that by typing out papers? Nope. It doesn’t happen there either.
So then The Passive Ear is SOMEHOW to go into active mode when they leave the doors of the church building and then entice others to come “to the church building” where they too can learn to be spectators in an audience.
AND pay someone else for the privilege of becoming “trainee mutes”?
Jesus didn’t train anyone by these means. He trained apprenticeship style.
So called “pastors” (orators?) do not.
As we age and come close to the finish line. When the energy and focus are in sharp decline. It, s worth remembering the catapillar caccoon and what’s ahead. Over the finish line we meet the bread. The bread of life, and we will soar. Like the beautiful butterfly, yet even more. What will it be like,does anyone know? If not for jesus, we would reap what we sow. The sum of all life,s greatest delight. Will pale into the darkness at his glorious sight.
ONE DAY AT A TIME SWEET PEOPLES. ONE DAY AT A TIME! Perhaps we are getting ahead of ourselves. And that’s gonna be tireing for sure. ITS NOT OUR KINGDOM. ITS HIS. HIS WORK IS DONE. OUR WORK IS NEVER DONE. DAY AT A TIME FOLKS. DAY AT A TIME. xox
This is an epidemic. We need to teach the blessings and functions of Grace. Lifting up souls to real love and a life motivated by our love for God. Not one of forced servitude because we are bad.
Hello everyone. May I join the venting?
I’m tired.
I’m tired of chasing the perfect Christian life.
I’m tired of trying different things to make me closer to God
I’m tired of trying to be perfect
I’m tired of reading all the opinions out there of how I need to do or try these methods for successful Christian life
I’m tired of trying to follow a perfect regimen in order to be that perfect Christian
I’m tired and I wish I could find the answers
I’m just tired. Period.
I have seen this kind of attitude a lot from people who hold themselves outside of and better than the community which they are criticizing. It’s hypocritical. Why aren’t you an agent of change? Why are you able passively to expect others to measure up to your standards that you came up with in the isolation of your own thoughts? Do you let others challenge you?
I also think some of the comments reflect a lack of awareness of how the world actually works. You don’t just give money and food out to homeless drunks who hang out around your church and make them into dependents. Every situation takes wisdom. You don’t sell your church equipment to give away food on the street, or shortly you’ll no longer have anything left. What you are describing is a child’s view of charity.
Look to change yourself first, and maybe people might follow you.
I’m sick of calling rock musicians worship leaders. I don’t need to be entertained to follow Christ. I’m sick of ministers who think they’re standup comics & also they’re to entertain.
It’s in 98% of the churches now and Christians think this is following g Christ. Misguided fools! And we were warned about this in the Bible.
Christian brothers & sisters WAKE UP