As we have looked at getting to know our neighbors, building relationships with them and then getting to know them even better and helping them to get to know each other better through group events (Get all these posts in your email inbox by signing up below), perhaps you have wondered why we do this.
Are we networking, finding people who have something we need or who may buy something we’re selling?
Maybe we are building relationships so we can convince people to accept Jesus or attend our church?
Another possibility is that since most people want to live in a friendly neighborhood, maybe we are building relationships with our neighbors to improve the value of our property?
Or are we just looking for friends?
None of these are really our reason.
We try to get to know our neighbors, whether they live on our block, three streets over, in the next neighborhood or across town because as followers of Jesus we try to unconditionally love everyone who crosses our path.
But shouldn’t we try to get our neighbors to attend our church or accept Jesus (or both)?
Hmmm… Consider a parable Jesus told. We usually call it the “Parable of the Good Samaritan,” though it might be better to call it the “Parable of the Beaten Man Lying By the Side of the Road.”
Is the parable about Samaritans, people in need, religious people who are too busy with their religion to help people in need, or what?
Is it possible that one lesson Jesus is teaching us is that our neighbor can be anyone who crosses our path (or whose path we cross)?
Might another lesson be that we should help and love people lavishly, with no expectation of getting anything in return? Could it be that Jesus is teaching us to love other people simply because they are our neighbors?
But how can we love whoever crosses our path, with absolutely no agenda? Is that possible?
It is possible. We think this is what Jesus is talking about in “love your neighbor as yourself” and in the story we call the “Parable of the Good Samaritan.”
But shouldn’t we tell people about Jesus?
We love them first and tell them about Jesus when they ask.
Many do ask, but not all. Most people we know have figured out that we follow Jesus. Sooner or later they ask us about it, when they’re ready to talk about it.
We do not love people so that we can tell them about Jesus. We love them so that they can ask us about Jesus.
And maybe they will not ever ask us about Jesus. That’s okay. We love them still, unconditionally, with no strings attached and no hidden agenda.
My job is to love people like Jesus; God’s job is to draw them to Jesus.
Many years ago a couple we slightly knew invited us to their house for “dessert,” which turned out to be a high pressure sales presentation for a multilevel marketing company. We felt tricked. Even though we have received many subsequent invitations from other people we know for similar presentations (always disguised as something else), we could smell those a long way off, like dead fish, and we have never been “tricked” again.
So it goes with most attempts to “win people to Jesus” (which usually means getting them to attend our church). Most people can smell “fake friendship” a long way off and avoid these people like they avoid dead fish.
Smelling like Jesus, however, smells like loving our neighbor, loving them lavishly for the pure and simple reason that we are the kind of person who does this, loving them with absolutely no agenda attached.
That is a sweet smell, a pleasant aroma, both to our neighbor and to Jesus.
Do you want to win people to Jesus? Simply love them like Jesus, with no agenda whatsoever.
What experiences have you had in loving other people like Jesus? Share an example in the comments below of how you showed lavish love on someone whose path you crossed, with no strings attached.
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? Granted that Jesus wasn’t trying to get butts in pews or nickels in offering plates — but He was the furthest thing from agenda-free.
Where would someone get the time to do this with little children and a full time job?
I really like this series but I just don’t see how I could accomplish this. Maybe it is not the time of my life to do this?
That’s a great question, Taco! I’ll try to write a post to answer it.
Briefly, we think getting to know our neighbors (especially those who live nearby, but also those who do not live in our immediate neighborhood) can work at most anytime in our lives. Once people start getting the idea, they find the time. People make time for what they want to do and consider important.
It involves a significant change in perspective. In a nutshell, we have learned to include others in our daily lives. Those people become part of who we are. We consider them some of the most important people in our lives. They also consider us some of the most important people in their lives. We care about each other, and make time for each other. They’re not uncle Earnie from Omaha who sends us a Christmas card each year. They’re people we see regularly.
These people become part of our holiday celebrations and other important events. Many of them are closer than most of our real relatives. Some of them consider us closer than most of their real relatives. We share life together, important events, and important discussions of our joys, sorrows, concerns and more.
You’re right Tim. Jesus had an agenda – to love the people of this world, especially the unlovely, which includes all of us. That is pretty much our agenda also.
The ‘Samaritan’ part is important in that Samaritans often married non-jews. As such, there were considerred mongrel half-breeds by most Isrealites. Part of Jesus’ intention for the parable must have been to rebuke the Isrealites for thier treatment of the Samaritans. They were to be considerred nieghbors as well as anyone else.
Matthew, I missed this comment when it came in. I agree with you about part of Jesus’ intention for the parable. Samaritans! How dare Jesus suggest the Israelites treat them like neighbors!
Who are the Samaritans in our culture today? Some might say Muslims. Drug addicts. Homeless people. LGBTQ people. Should we treat these people like neighbors? Some politicians and religious people seem to think not. What would Jesus say?
Nice article. We should be loving others without any expectations every single day. My most recent stories are in showing kindness to a co-worker that snaps at me regularly. One of my other co-worker just commented to me how surprised she was that I was kind to her at all. Jesus gets credit for that. 😉 On a more humble note, in realizing ways I, and the church, can improve, I had an experience that comes to mind. A few weeks ago I was working with the kids in the morning on our annual musical performance and we had a short break. I did not realize that the hired workers that come in to clean our church on a regular basis had to wait for us to finish rehearsals to clean the sanctuary. They were just patiently waiting in the lobby. When I realized this I was apologized. They said that they did not mind. Then I thought of times in which these ladies had been given orders to work and then had to be patient because they were not told about events happening. I then told them how much I appreciated them and how impressed I was with the hard work they always did and how amazing the church always looked and that I knew that they really worked hard and it showed. They smiled so much after I said that but I left feeling like we had missed the mark there. We need to really look to each person as individuals and understand that in the Kingdom of God, the last will be first and the first will be last. We should be giving honor to those that are what the world considers those will less esteem.
Marla, I missed this comment when it came in. We should be loving others every day, expecting nothing in return. Isn’t that what Jesus did? It is so easy to overlook the people who clean, the store clerks, the person we’re talking to on the phone about the problem with our bill with their company. What does it say when we ignore these people, or even treat them rudely? How often have we heard Christians tell the story about how they called up such-and-such a business and gave them a “piece of my mind” when there was a problem with their account?
This post is like a breath of fresh air. Thank you.
For myself, I have found it helpful to try (and sometimes succeed) to view everyone I run into as a divine encounter. That person’s life and my life have intersected for a reason. I like to think of that reason as an exchanging of gifts. I have something to give him; he has something to give me.
In order to understand what God wants me to give to that other person, I have to listen deeply to discover what God has made that person uniquely to be, and then figure out how to call that forth. In order to understand what God wants me to receive from that person, I also have to listen deeply to that person’s story.
Simply listening is a powerful thing. It demonstrates unconditional love, acceptance and respect. It honors that person’s unique dignity as a creature made in the image of God. If I listen well enough, I will discover what it is he needs from me, which is a whole lot better than simply pushing my own predetermined agenda on him. I will also, if I am listening well enough, discover what I need from him.
Michael, Indeed you do understand! So many people tell us that almost no one listens. We especially find that true when we talk with the homeless. It is important to look people in the eye, listen, and respond with comments that show we heard and understood what the person said. As you said, “If I listen well enough, I will discover what it is he needs from me, which is a whole lot better than simply pushing my own predetermined agenda on him. I will also, if I am listening well enough, discover what I need from him.”
Great comment!
I agree with this and then I don’t agree with this at the same time. There is an agenda and loving people is the agenda. Preaching the Gospel and telling people about salvation in Christ is a part of loving people so there is no way to love them without telling them about Jesus. Waiting for someone to ask about Jesus sounds awesome but where does it say that in the Bible? I read about Jesus who loved people and also Jesus who told people to repent. He preached a message of repentance from the first day he started preaching. So I agree that we should love everyone as we love ourselves because that is exactly what Jesus told us to do but Jesus also said many other things. The Apostles also wrote many other things that cannot be thrown away. Did Paul have an agenda? Yeah, he stated it plainly. That he was an Apostle to the Gentiles. Did he try to befriend every person he met first? No. He went into synagogues and preached the Gospel. I understand your heart with this because people can get religious about a lot of things when everything we do should be from a heart of love whether it’s preaching or healing. If a person is out making “fake frienships” then they are missing the point. It’s not about inviting people to church. That doesn’t save people. Our good deeds don’t save people. Our unconditional love doesn’t save people. Jesus saves people and the more we train people to not talk about Jesus the worse off the Church is.
Jesus met a Samaritan woman at a well. He immediately engages her with the Gospel. What is even better is that He loved her by even speaking to her in the first place since it was not common for Jews to speak to Samaritans. His first words don’t seem like a common greeting either. Jesus loved people but He had an agenda. He came to die for our sins and He accomplished the task. An agenda is not necessarily an ulterior motive. They can be the same but sometimes an agenda is just a plan do something. What is on my agenda today? To love people and tell them that Jesus loves them too. So much that He died for their sins so that they can be a part of His family forever. The Holy Spirit does all the work. We either plant or water.. We cannot take credit for someone being saved or someone rejecting Jesus. We will be held accountable for our motives though so lets be sure whatever we do, we do it with the right heart.. and biblically sound.
Even Jesus’ miracles were not only to testify that He was the Messiah but to get people to repent. Thats an agenda. God’s agenda is what is all about. God had an agenda from the moment He said “Let there be light”. The agenda was Jesus.
“Woe to you, Chorazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida! For if the miracles had occurred in Tyre and Sidon which occurred in you, they would have repented long ago in sackcloth and ashes. Nevertheless I say to you, it will be more tolerable for Tyre and Sidon in the day of judgment than for you. And you, Capernaum, will not be exalted to heaven, will you? You will descend to Hades; for if the miracles had occurred in Sodom which occurred in you, it would have remained to this day. Nevertheless I say to you that it will be more tolerable for the land of Sodom in the day of judgment, than for you.” Jesus
I understand what you’re saying, but I have also found that the beginning of “preaching” the Gospel is first living the Gospel before others. In almost every instance we must earn the right to be heard. This especially applies when the hearer believes the topic to be politics or religion. So many times I have heard the sentiment summarized by what my neighbor said, “I can’t stand people who try to cram their religion or politics down my throat. As soon as they start in on that, I never hear another thing they say, then or ever.”
Of course our agenda is love. When I wrote this post I was thinking of our homeless friend who lives on the sidewalk. One evening when we showed up with food and water and chatted with her she said “You are the only ones who come down here without an agenda. Everyone else comes down here wearing their religion and politics on their sleeve, they’re trying to sell us something, steal what we have or run us off.”
To which I replied, “You’re right, we come with no agenda. Well, I guess we do have an agenda, to love people.” To which she replied, “Of course, we all know that, and you’re few and far between.”
Not everyone asks us about Jesus, but many do. The difference between answering a question someone asked and answering one they did not is that the person, in our experience, is at least a thousand times more likely to hear our answer in the former instance. They asked because they want to know, so they want to hear the answer and will listen. I understand, some people never have people ask them about Jesus. Think about why that might be the case.
I mostly agree with the sentiment expressed here. I think there are certain people gifted in evangelism and called to, for a lack of a better term, ‘cold evangelism’, or, giving the gospel to people they don’t know. However Sam is pointing out a big problem in the church. People can tell when they’re only seen as a potential convert, and once it’s clear that someone isn’t going to convert, many people get abandoned. That leaves a bad taste in people’s mouth. The intentions might be good, but the way it’s interpreted is ‘They don’t love me, they just want to convert me.’
Reminds me of a quote I love:
Preach the gospel at all times, and if you have to, use words.