Below is an excerpt from a book I’m writing called Adventures in Fishing (for Men). The book is a satirical allegory about Christian attempts at evangelism. He who has ears to hear…
After my great success in Africa, some of my donors suggested that I start a “Training Center” for fishermen. There were numerous fishermen around the country and across the world who were dying to know all that I had learned about fishing, and how they too could become a successful fisherman.
This training center would have all the best books and equipment. It would be a safe place where fishermen could come for training. We would not only teach the fishermen trainees everything they needed to know about fishing, but would put them in real-life scenarios where they could practice the skills of fishing, without any danger of drowning, getting pierced by hooks, or getting arrested for swimming. At our school, they could become master fishermen without any contact with smelly fish.
The first thing I had to do was start an advertising campaign. I needed brochures and billboards, television spots and radio ads. And on every single one, I had to put a picture of myself.
So I had a professional photographer come over to my house. I put on my best fishing t-shirt and my golden fishing necklace, and had him take pictures of me standing in front of all my fishing books. For a special touch, he told me to open a leather-bound fishing book and point my finger at some random place on the page to make it look like I was studying it.
When I got the proofs back, I was quite impressed. With my fishing clothes on, all those fishing books behind me, and the open fishing book in my hands, I really looked like a world-class fisherman. Everybody would want to learn from me now!