In the past, when Wendy and I faced the biggest crisis of our adult (and married) lives, (which when compared to the crises many people go through, may not seem like much of a crisis, but to us it felt pretty big) we felt the whole gamut of emotions. We still trusted God to get us through, but we learned some valuable lessons. Here are a few…
One of the primary things we learned is that as Christians, we can learn a lot from non-Christians about how to take care of people who are facing times of crisis.
The Normal Christian Response to Crisis
When you, or I, face a crisis, what is the typical Christian response? The normal Christian response when others are facing a crisis is to quote Bible verses and announce theological platitudes. We’ve all heard them: “God will never leave you nor forsake you.” “God is good, all the time.” “Jesus will be there for you. Just continue to depend and rely on Him.”
The Normal Non-Christian Response to Crisis
Contrast this with the normal non-Christian response. They don’t have Bible verses and theological truths to fall back on. So they fall back on the only thing they can fall back on…themselves.
If they want to help, they offer to help. They give a listening ear. They sympathize. They can’t say, “God will provide for you,” so they provide for you. They can’t say, “God will be there for you,” so they try to be there for you. They can’t say, “Take it to Jesus. He can handle it for you,” so instead they say, “I know it hurts. Life sometimes stinks. I’m here to listen or just sit with you.”
This doesn’t mean those verses and theological statements are not true, but that in a crisis, they are not very helpful.
Don’t Pray When You Can Help
I think that many times, we Christians use Bible verses and theology quotes as an excuse for not helping. But in the (paraphrased and amplified) words of James, “If a brother or sister is without food and clothing, and one of you says, ‘Be warm and well fed. God will provide for you. I’m praying for you. Just have faith.’ but you don’t do anything to help clothe or feed the person, of what use is that?” James is saying that if you are going to pray for a person, or pronounce theological truths, back up those words with some action.
When someone is facing a crisis, act like a non-Christian and pretend you don’t have helpful Bible verses and handy theological clichés to toss around. Instead, actually do something helpful. If nothing else, just offer to listen without lending advice.
