In the past, when Wendy and I faced the biggest crisis of our adult (and married) lives, (which when compared to the crises many people go through, may not seem like much of a crisis, but to us it felt pretty big) we felt the whole gamut of emotions. We still trusted God to get us through, but we learned some valuable lessons. Here are a few…
One of the primary things we learned is that as Christians, we can learn a lot from non-Christians about how to take care of people who are facing times of crisis.
The Normal Christian Response to Crisis
When you, or I, face a crisis, what is the typical Christian response? The normal Christian response when others are facing a crisis is to quote Bible verses and announce theological platitudes. We’ve all heard them: “God will never leave you nor forsake you.” “God is good, all the time.” “Jesus will be there for you. Just continue to depend and rely on Him.”
The Normal Non-Christian Response to Crisis
Contrast this with the normal non-Christian response. They don’t have Bible verses and theological truths to fall back on. So they fall back on the only thing they can fall back on…themselves.
If they want to help, they offer to help. They give a listening ear. They sympathize. They can’t say, “God will provide for you,” so they provide for you. They can’t say, “God will be there for you,” so they try to be there for you. They can’t say, “Take it to Jesus. He can handle it for you,” so instead they say, “I know it hurts. Life sometimes stinks. I’m here to listen or just sit with you.”
This doesn’t mean those verses and theological statements are not true, but that in a crisis, they are not very helpful.
Don’t Pray When You Can Help
I think that many times, we Christians use Bible verses and theology quotes as an excuse for not helping. But in the (paraphrased and amplified) words of James, “If a brother or sister is without food and clothing, and one of you says, ‘Be warm and well fed. God will provide for you. I’m praying for you. Just have faith.’ but you don’t do anything to help clothe or feed the person, of what use is that?” James is saying that if you are going to pray for a person, or pronounce theological truths, back up those words with some action.
When someone is facing a crisis, act like a non-Christian and pretend you don’t have helpful Bible verses and handy theological clichés to toss around. Instead, actually do something helpful. If nothing else, just offer to listen without lending advice.
Jeremy, how can we help? My husband and I do care.
Diane
Hi Diane,
Thanks for the comment. I know you’ve interacted in the past, but wasn’t aware you were still reading my blog. I’m glad you’re here!
I know that “just being there” is nearly impossible for somone who lives in another state. You and Dale, along with a few other couples, have been a great source of encouragement over the years. I think that right now, all we are looking for is continued encouragment and friendship.
Also, we want to learn what we need to learn in this situation, so you can pray for that. Pray especially that God would fight for us right now.
Jeremy, we are praying for you and Wendy. Whatever you’re going through, your Christian friends do care. We’ll always care about you. You’ve helped me a lot in understanding the Bible.
You said in one of your blogs that you’re teetering on some core Biblical issues. Then you listed them. I can only assume that whatever your crisis is, it must be related to that. It was kind-of a shock for me to read that. I’m totally convinced of a 7 year Tribulation period which you said you are teetering on. But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re still my friend. If you could give me any Biblical reason to see why the Bible doesn’t teach that, I’d study it. But everything I’ve studied convinces me otherwise… especially Zane’s book on “Jesus God’s Prophet.” In fact, that book nailed it for me. I don’t know how anyone could come to any other conclusion after reading that book. But I still want to stress…… you are a friend. We’re praying for only God’s best in your life….. that He will use you for His glory.
And remember……. you have lots of friends who care about you. They are friends from GES. They, like me, probably disagree with your list that you’re teetering on….. but they still care about your well being.
I’ve been very sad reading your blog. You sound so down. So my prayer tonight is…… Lord lift Jeremy and Wendy up! Help them to see as You see. And provide whatever they need that’s good and from YOU.
Always a friend,
Diane (for Dale, too)
🙂
Jeremy,
Already praying. Repeating the offer in my previous comment. You know how to reach me.
Jim
Your blog title caught my attention, because like you and Wendy, my husband and I are going through a crisis. You words gave me great comfort, and it’s helpful to know that we’re not alone. It also reminded me of a recent conversation I had with my eight-year old. He and I were talking about Jesus’ parable about building your house upon a rock, thus giving a solid foundation, when he asked an innocent question that had deep connotations: “What about weathering?” That question was the God-smack that I needed: my foundation is solid but I’m experiencing some “weathering” right now. My prayer for you is that this blog and our responses give you and Wendy some relief from the “weathering” you’re experiencing.
Krista,
Thank you for the comment. “Weathering” is a good way of describing it. We have the foundation, but the winds and rain beat against the house, and sometimes even knock it down. But hopefully the foundation stands strong.
You and your husband are in my prayers as you go through your own weathering.
Jeremy–mark it down on your Calendar. This is an example of the Holy Spirit of Jesus working through you to teach me… Thank you for being available to Jesus. 🙂
Jeremy Myers – you’re awesome 🙂
Thanks Malcolm Fowler and Heather Goodman. You’re both awesome as well!
10 year old blog post, except for the crisis you and Wendy were going through, the message could have been written today.