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How to Host a Block Party for your Neighbors

By Sam Riviera
2 Comments

How to Host a Block Party for your Neighbors

Do you want to get to know your neighbors better? Try throwing an end of Summer block party! Here are some suggestions from Sam Riviera about how to do this:

Get Help for Your Block Party

Our street had not had a block party for over twenty years. My wife and I appeared to be the only ones who had an interest in having a party for the entire street (which is one block long). In the past two or three years, however, at least half a dozen of the new families who have moved onto the block expressed an interest in getting to know their neighbors, and thought a block party was a good idea.

block partyMy wife and I decided we would organize a Fourth of July block party. When we mentioned our plans to several of our neighbors, two couples offered to help us. Within a few days, additional neighbors began asking questions about the date, time and other details.

We settled on July 3rd for the party. In early June, we handed out “Save the Date” fliers to everyone on the street and to a few people on adjoining streets. The last weekend of June we handed out a second flier that gave additional details, served as reminders and asked those who planned to attend to RSVP so we would know how many supplies, ice cream and so on to buy.

It is near the end of the summer, but you could easily do an end of summer party, or even a Labor Day party over the first weekend in September.

What Time Does The Block Party Start?

We placed several large grills on our front sidewalk, and set up tables, chairs and shade canopies on the yards and driveways of two houses across the street from our house. Lawn chairs were set up on a shaded lawn, and food serving tables were set up under another shade tree. Set-up was scheduled to start at 2:00 and the party at 4:00, with build-your-own ice cream sundaes and brownies at 6:00.

Over a dozen people arrived around 2:00 to help set up, and the party started. Some of the set-up people knew each other and some did not. When the set-up was finished, no one went home, but instead sat in the shade and talked, and more people came when they saw the tents and people. Some people left early and some came late, but the party finally ended at dusk, then continued for several of us in our family room.

Who Is That Person?

In total almost sixty people joined us. No one knew everyone (o.k., my wife and I did, but there was one couple we knew only slightly), but most people knew almost everyone else by the end of the party. (We used name tags on which everyone wrote their first name, then placed the tag on their shirt.) I kept busy making sure that everything was running smoothly, and then kept busy dipping ice cream. Almost every moment I wasn’t working with the food and supplies, people were asking me questions about each other (such as “Which house does that couple over there live in?”)

When Can We Do This Again?

Almost everyone asked if we could do it again. Several people asked if we could do it twice a year. (In later posts, I will give detailed plans for a neighborhood Halloween party that can be held on driveways.) Almost everyone said they were glad to meet neighbors who they had not known or had barely known prior to the party. Many commented that they felt the event was a “real community builder.”

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

block partyI told Jeremy I would report on the good, the bad and the ugly. To the best of our knowledge, there was no bad or ugly. Everyone got along. No one was left out. (My wife and I made sure that new people and shy people were introduced, included and seated with friendly people.) Yes, we do have a person on the street who has offended many neighbors. Several people took me to the side and asked “Was ______ invited?” I replied that (s)he was. They replied “Good!” and indicated that it was too bad the person chose not to attend.

Marshmallow Creme and Maraschino Cherries

After stacks of paper supplies, several gallons of ice cream, and tons of marshmallow creme, maraschino cherries, chocolate toppings and assorted other toppings later, the party is over, but the relationships are deepening for some, improving for others and just getting started for yet others.

Is there a reason we do all this work? Is there a reason to get to know our neighbors and help them to get to know each other? We feel there is, and the next post will give some real life examples from our neighborhood.

Have you ever hosted a block party? Tell us about it in the comments below! If you host a block party at the end of summer or for Labor day, tell us what you did and how it went!

Do you want to share Jesus with your neighbors?

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God is Redeeming Church, Redeeming Life Bible & Theology Topics: Discipleship, evangelism, looks like Jesus, love like Jesus, neighbors, Sam Riviera, Theology of the Church

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Loving Neighbors without an Agenda

By Sam Riviera
13 Comments

Loving Neighbors without an Agenda

As we have looked at getting to know our neighbors, building relationships with them and then getting to know them even better and helping them to get to know each other better through group events (Get all these posts in your email inbox by signing up below), perhaps you have wondered why we do this.

Loving Neighbors

Are we networking, finding people who have something we need or who may buy something we’re selling?

Maybe we are building relationships so we can convince people to accept Jesus or attend our church?

Another possibility is that since most people want to live in a friendly neighborhood, maybe we are building relationships with our neighbors to improve the value of our property?

Or are we just looking for friends?

None of these are really our reason.

We try to get to know our neighbors, whether they live on our block, three streets over, in the next neighborhood or across town because as followers of Jesus we try to unconditionally love everyone who crosses our path.

But shouldn’t we try to get our neighbors to attend our church or accept Jesus (or both)?

Hmmm… Consider a parable Jesus told. We usually call it the “Parable of the Good Samaritan,” though it might be better to call it the “Parable of the Beaten Man Lying By the Side of the Road.”

Is the parable about Samaritans, people in need, religious people who are too busy with their religion to help people in need, or what?

Is it possible that one lesson Jesus is teaching us is that our neighbor can be anyone who crosses our path (or whose path we cross)?

Might another lesson be that we should help and love people lavishly, with no expectation of getting anything in return? Could it be that Jesus is teaching us to love other people simply because they are our neighbors?

But how can we love whoever crosses our path, with absolutely no agenda? Is that possible?

It is possible. We think this is what Jesus is talking about in “love your neighbor as yourself” and in the story we call the “Parable of the Good Samaritan.”

But shouldn’t we tell people about Jesus?

We love them first and tell them about Jesus when they ask.

Many do ask, but not all. Most people we know have figured out that we follow Jesus. Sooner or later they ask us about it, when they’re ready to talk about it.

We do not love people so that we can tell them about Jesus. We love them so that they can ask us about Jesus.

And maybe they will not ever ask us about Jesus. That’s okay. We love them still, unconditionally, with no strings attached and no hidden agenda.

My job is to love people like Jesus; God’s job is to draw them to Jesus.

Many years ago a couple we slightly knew invited us to their house for “dessert,” which turned out to be a high pressure sales presentation for a multilevel marketing company. We felt tricked. Even though we have received many subsequent invitations from other people we know for similar presentations (always disguised as something else), we could smell those a long way off, like dead fish, and we have never been “tricked” again.

So it goes with most attempts to “win people to Jesus” (which usually means getting them to attend our church). Most people can smell “fake friendship” a long way off and avoid these people like they avoid dead fish.

Smelling like Jesus, however, smells like loving our neighbor, loving them lavishly for the pure and simple reason that we are the kind of person who does this, loving them with absolutely no agenda attached.

That is a sweet smell, a pleasant aroma, both to our neighbor and to Jesus.

Do you want to win people to Jesus? Simply love them like Jesus, with no agenda whatsoever.

What experiences have you had in loving other people like Jesus? Share an example in the comments below of how you showed lavish love on someone whose path you crossed, with no strings attached.

Do you want to share Jesus with your neighbors?

There's more to it than inviting them to church...

Fill out the form below to receive several emails about how to get to know your neighbors and love them like Jesus.

(Note: If you are a member of RedeemingGod.com, login and then revisit this page to update your membership.)

God is Redeeming Church, Redeeming Life Bible & Theology Topics: Discipleship, evangelism, following Jesus, looks like Jesus, love like Jesus, neighbors, Sam Riviera

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4 Pitfalls to Avoid when Getting to Know your Neighbors

By Sam Riviera
6 Comments

4 Pitfalls to Avoid when Getting to Know your Neighbors

pitfalls with neighborsIn the previous posts in this series (sign up at the bottom of this email to receive all the posts for free) we have discussed methods for getting acquainted with our neighbors, building relationships with them, and having group events that will help all of us to get to know each other better. In order to avoid some of the common problems that can occur during this process, let’s look at some pitfalls to avoid.

1. Being Too Helpful

We have learned that deciding ahead of time how much time, energy, money or emotional strength we can devote to neighbors allows us to be in a better position to help the most people. We have discovered that we can not meet everyone’s needs. Not setting limits can cause us to grow weary in well doing and cause us to want to stop helping others.

We attempt to first help those who are least able to meet their own needs, and then help others as we are able. We try to use our resources to help many people, rather than use large amounts of time, money and energy to help one person or family. Some individuals and families have more needs than we are able to meet.

2. Not Keeping Confidences

Are you the kind of person in whom others confide? I am. I have a friend in whom no one confides. What is the difference? What you tell me goes no further.

On the other hand, the fastest way to spread news is to tell one of my friends. Of course, nobody confides in him. Well … nobody confides in him twice.

3. The Neighborhood Grinch

Is there someone in your neighborhood whom no one likes? Several of our neighbors have told us they will not attend group functions at our home if Mr. X is coming. How do we handle that? We do not invite that person to small functions, but we do invite him/her to large functions, such as our upcoming block/neighborhood party.

4. Being Self-Centered

When we meet someone do we use it as an opportunity to tell them all about ourselves, or as an opportunity to learn about them? Do we see it as our chance to tell our stories, or listen to theirs? Do we invite people to our home to show them our tastefully decorated home and souvenirs from our many travels or to get to know them better? Do we want to know people better so we will know what they can do for us (or will buy from us), or so we can get to know them and make a new friend? After they have told us about themselves and told us their stories, most people want to hear about us.

Avoiding these pitfalls will help us build long-term, loving relationships with our neighbors.

You might have noticed that I did not mention anything about sharing the gospel with your neighbors, inviting them to church, or asking them what they think of Jesus. That is because I will devote a whole post to this subject, which I will write about next time.

Between now and then, can you think of any other pitfalls to avoid when getting to know your neighbors? Share them with others by commenting below!

Do you want to share Jesus with your neighbors?

There's more to it than inviting them to church...

Fill out the form below to receive several emails about how to get to know your neighbors and love them like Jesus.

(Note: If you are a member of RedeemingGod.com, login and then revisit this page to update your membership.)

God is Redeeming Church, Redeeming Life Bible & Theology Topics: Discipleship, evangelism, guest post, Jesus, looks like Jesus, love, love like Jesus, neighbors, Sam Riviera

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Use Group Events to Love Others

By Sam Riviera
1 Comment

Use Group Events to Love Others

group eventIn the previous posts in this series about getting to know our neighbors (sign up below to receive all the posts by email), we discussed first getting acquainted with our neighbors and then building relationships with them. Once we have built relationships with at least some of our neighbors, we’re ready to move on to the next step, group events. Even though it is tempting to skip getting acquainted and building relationships and go straight to a group event, such as a backyard barbecue, we have discovered that the group events always function more smoothly when we know and have already established a relationship with everyone we invite to the event.

Group Events

Group events are great opportunities for neighbors to get to know each other better, both those we already know, as well as those we barely know (even though those people may live just half a block away) or don’t know at all. Through group events we will discover new things about each other, including shared interests. We often discover that neighbors we assumed were unfriendly are actually very friendly.

When we’re planning the event, we try to make sure that everyone we invite knows someone else in the group in addition to my wife and me. Since we know everyone in the group, we introduce people to anyone they don’t know. Since everyone already knows someone, the people they know also introduce them to other people. Conversations that begin at group events are often continued in the days and years ahead.

Our First Neighborhood Group Event

My leg was in a non-walking cast. I was unable to help clean the house or to prepare most of the food that would be necessary for a New Year’s Eve party. But our neighbor was terminally ill with cancer and this would be her last New Year’s Eve. We agreed that if she could come for even ten minutes, we’d have a party. She said she would come. Then we invited more neighbors.

My wife cleaned. I made a shopping list. We went to Costco (me in a wheelchair) and bought take-and-bake pizza, salad, hummus, a cheese log, crackers, cheese trays, sparkling cider and champagne. We came home and I made cheesecake and persimmon pudding.

Everyone we invited came, fourteen in all, including our sick friend. She looked fabulous (it was her “best day” between chemo treatments). We talked. We swapped stories. They stayed (even our sick friend stayed almost three hours). We toasted each other. Oh yes, we ate, but the food was not the centerpiece of the event. Spending time together was.

That was a special night, and everyone there understood that. After the event, everyone said they wanted to do it again, and those present who do not live in the neighborhood asked to be invited to the next event. Some people called us later and asked for each other’s phone numbers. New relationships were begun and old ones strengthened.

Our Second Neighborhood Group Event – Cinco de Mayo Party

Over the course of throwing group events, we have discovered that people love theme parties, especially those centered around holidays. Since we live near the border, we love to celebrate Cinco de Mayo (5th of May). We invited a group of neighbors to a Cinco de Mayo party on Sunday May 1, which was the day our community celebrated Fiesta/Cinco de Mayo.

We made enchiladas and rice, provided drinks and asked everyone to bring a side dish or dessert that went with the theme. Bringing something to share makes people feel more involved and relieves them from feeling obligated to return the invitation. Sixteen people and lots of food arrived around 4:30.

Neighbors met neighbors they barely knew or didn’t know, and reconnected with those they already knew. Half of the group had come to the first event on New Year’s Eve, and half had not. One of the “new” people had never been involved in any neighborhood activity. Everyone (except my wife and I) met at least three or four neighbors they had not known previously.

Bin Laden and Group Events

We ate and everyone talked and talked. We were still sitting and talking when one man received a phone call telling him the president was about to make an announcement concerning Bin Laden. We turned on the television. After the president’s speech, someone asked, “Do you remember where you were when you heard the news about Kennedy? Now we’ll remember where we were when we heard the news about Bin Laden.”

group eventsNear the end of the evening, my wife and I proposed a “block party” for the 4th of July. Everyone liked the idea. The neighborhood is really getting into this. We now have two co-chairs and people from other streets in the neighborhood are asking if they can come. We’re inviting everyone on our street, and those people may invite anyone else from the neighborhood, as well as their friends and relatives. We have not seen this much enthusiasm since we moved here. We may get 30 or 300. We’re passing out “Save The Date” flyers today and tomorrow.

We Like Each Other

Our neighbors did not want to leave. They love spending time with each other. The party finally broke up around 9:00. Two people asked us if they could come back later “just to talk.”

What is it we are doing?

We are building community in our community.

We are not asking them to “join our community” at church. Instead, we focus on nurturing the community where they already live – in their very own neighborhood.

People are talking to people they thought they didn’t like. People are meeting neighbors a few houses away who they didn’t know and neighbors are spending more time talking with each other. Neighbors who didn’t attend either of the first two group events have told us that they’ve heard about the events, would like to come to our next event and are looking forward to the July 4th block/neighborhood party.

In the next post we’ll discuss some pitfalls to avoid when getting to know our neighbors, and then will conclude this series with “Loving Without an Agenda.”

Until then, have you hosted any group events? What did you do, and what was the reaction and response from your neighbors? Leave a comment below!

Do you want to share Jesus with your neighbors?

There's more to it than inviting them to church...

Fill out the form below to receive several emails about how to get to know your neighbors and love them like Jesus.

(Note: If you are a member of RedeemingGod.com, login and then revisit this page to update your membership.)

God is Redeeming Church, Redeeming Life Bible & Theology Topics: Discipleship, evangelism, group events, looks like Jesus, love, love like Jesus, neighbors, Sam Riviera

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7 Ways to Build Friendships With Your Neighbors – Part 2

By Sam Riviera
6 Comments

7 Ways to Build Friendships With Your Neighbors – Part 2

love your neighborThis post contains three more ways to develop friendships with your neighbors. In a previous post, we looked at the first four, which included remembering their names, offering a helping hand, working towards a common goal, and paying attention. ⇦ Click here invite others to read this helpful post!

5. Keep Their Secrets

Would you like to know whose sister has been on national news for weeks? Whose family is Mafia? Who is an undercover secret government agent? Who is having an affair with a neighbor? Who is very rich, but lives simply? Who is gay? Who hates their neighbor? Who sunbathes nude in their backyard?

We have discovered that people tell us their secrets because they trust us. Are the secrets I mentioned above our neighbor’s secrets or the secrets of other people we know, or have known? Or am I making up these “secrets”? – We’re not telling.

Passing around this kind of information makes for juicy gossip and broken relationships. Don’t give in to the temptation to tell what you know, except in the rare instance where you have come across a crime such as child abuse, spousal abuse, or drug dealing. In those cases, consult an attorney or trusted police officer for professional assistance.

Paying attention to what is happening in people’s lives, whether it be an escaped dog, a broken water pipe, or sick family member offers opportunities to not only help them, but to also build relationships with them. When they trust us enough to tell us their secrets, being trustworthy and not sharing the information with others further builds and cements our relationships.

6. Weep With Those Who Weep

Whether our spouse left us or a family member has a serious illness or has died, wouldn’t it be nice if Jesus could show up in person and spend time with us? Perhaps He does, in the person of His followers. Can we be that person for not only our family, but also for our neighbors?

love your neighborWhen we learned that our neighbor’s cancer had returned, we started spending time with her. When she told us that she wanted watermelon, we found a store that had watermelon in January. When she couldn’t keep down any food we made her lots of batches of “pear pudding,” the only thing she could keep down. We looked at her pictures with her and her husband – the church where they married, vacations they had taken, and other pictures from her life. We prayed with them. We tried to answer their questions about God. We sat by her bedside the night before she died. We hugged her every time we saw her. We cried with her, and then again with her husband after she passed.

This is a painful part of life, but if we only want to be with people in their joy and happiness, but not in their grief and sorrow, we can never truly develop friendships with others. True relationships require that at we weep with those who weep.

7. Celebrate!

When we were kids, Halloween was our chance to wear a costume and get a bag of candy. My brother and I patrolled the local grocery stores and farmer’s markets looking for the perfect pumpkin for a Jack-O-Lantern. I remember buying a sixty pound pumpkin the October I was fourteen, carrying it over a mile to my house and carving it with my brother’s help. It was almost as big as my brother. We loved Halloween!

Even as adults we can enjoy Halloween. We carve a pumpkin, turn on the porch light and station ourselves outside our front door with a big bowl of candy. Where we live, most of the children who come to our door are neighborhood children, accompanied by parents. A friendly greeting, a handful of candy and introducing ourselves to parents we don’t know is a great way to get to know our neighbors. Next Halloween we plan to set up a fire pit on the driveway, surrounded by chairs and a table with chili, cider and plates of cookies, in addition to a bowl of candy.

People love parties centered around holidays – New Year’s Eve, Cinco de Mayo, Memorial Day, Fourth of July, and Labor Day. As a former wedding planner, party planner and caterer, I’ve planned lots of parties. When we finish this “Getting To Know Our Neighbors” series, we’ll look at some ideas for planning a great party.

We’ve been looking at ways to build relationships with our neighbors after becoming acquainted with them. We’ve looked at remembering their names, helping them, working toward common goals, paying attention to what is going on in their lives, keeping their secrets, sharing their sorrows, and celebrating together.

In future posts we will look at moving those relationships to yet another level through group events, will discuss pitfalls to avoid and will discuss loving without an agenda.

Do you want to share Jesus with your neighbors?

There's more to it than inviting them to church...

Fill out the form below to receive several emails about how to get to know your neighbors and love them like Jesus.

(Note: If you are a member of RedeemingGod.com, login and then revisit this page to update your membership.)

God is Redeeming Church, Redeeming Life Bible & Theology Topics: Discipleship, evangelism, looks like Jesus, love like Jesus, loving neighbors, neighbors, Sam Riviera, Theology of the Church

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