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Advice for a Crisis

By Jeremy Myers
8 Comments

Advice for a Crisis

If you are facing a crisis in your life, or know someone who is, here is some advice for both situations.

If you Know Someone Who is in a Crisis

If you have a friend facing a crisis, just go be with them.

Just listen to them vent.

Don’t chide them for their emotions, fear, anger, hurt, despair.

Please don’t quote Scripture unless they ask you to.

Don’t offer theological truths which you think will help them.

Don’t ask them what sin they might have committed to make God discipline them.

In other words, don’t throw rocks. If you are afraid of saying the wrong thing, don’t say anything at all.

Most of the time, hurting people just want others to be there.

If you see something tangible that they need, offer to provide it for them, food, clothing, money, helping hands, resources. The only intangible aid you should offer is prayer, and only say “I’ll pray for you” if you are also thinking of ways to be an answer to your own prayers.

My father died when I was two, and my mother says that what I have written above holds true in that sort of crisis as well. A friend of mine lost his brother in a hiking accident a few years ago, and he confirms this as well.

Crisis Advice

When Facing Your Own Crisis

In a recent crisis my wife and I faced, one of the things that initially bothered us was how when we shared with others that we were going through a crisis, they responded by sharing a crisis that they were facing or had faced in their own lives.

Our first reaction was, “Don’t try to turn this around to you. I’m the one in pain!” But then we realized, “Wow, how self-centered are we?”

Yes, pain hurts, and sometimes life stinks.

But it’s this way for everybody at times.

And one way to get over your own pain, fear, hurt, and disappointment, is to realize that it’s part of life, that others are facing it too (and many of them much more than you are), and that you can either have a pity party for yourself, or try to help others through their own pain, which in turn helps you.

To help others through their own pain, go back and look at point number one above.

A Story About a Crisis

One day a Rabbi stood on a hill overlooking a certain city. The Rabbi watched in horror as a band of Cossacks on horseback suddenly attacked the town, killing innocent men, women, and children. Some of the slaughtered were his own disciples. Looking up to heaven, the Rabbi exclaimed, “Oh, if only I were God.”

An astonished student, standing nearby, asked, “But, Master, if you were God, what would you do differently?” The Rabbi replied, “If I were God I would do nothing differently. If I were God, I would understand.”

Like it or not, I think the Rabbi is right. The best we can do in a crisis (and maybe the most we should do) is simply say, “I don’t understand.”

In the comments below, please share your own suggestions for handling a life crisis, whether it is your own crisis or helping someone else through their crisis.

God is Uncategorized Bible & Theology Topics: anger, counseling, crisis, Discipleship, fear, hurt, life, mourning, pain

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How to Handle a Crisis Like a Non-Christian

By Jeremy Myers
10 Comments

How to Handle a Crisis Like a Non-Christian

In the past, when Wendy and I faced the biggest crisis of our adult (and married) lives, (which when compared to the crises many people go through, may not seem like much of a crisis, but to us it felt pretty big) we felt the whole gamut of emotions. We still trusted God to get us through, but we learned some valuable lessons. Here are a few…

Job’s FriendsOne of the primary things we learned is that as Christians, we can learn a lot from non-Christians about how to take care of people who are facing times of crisis.

The Normal Christian Response to Crisis

When you, or I, face a crisis, what is the typical Christian response? The normal Christian response when others are facing a crisis is to quote Bible verses and announce theological platitudes. We’ve all heard them: “God will never leave you nor forsake you.” “God is good, all the time.” “Jesus will be there for you. Just continue to depend and rely on Him.”

The Normal Non-Christian Response to Crisis

Contrast this with the normal non-Christian response. They don’t have Bible verses and theological truths to fall back on. So they fall back on the only thing they can fall back on…themselves.

If they want to help, they offer to help. They give a listening ear. They sympathize. They can’t say, “God will provide for you,” so they provide for you. They can’t say, “God will be there for you,” so they try to be there for you. They can’t say, “Take it to Jesus. He can handle it for you,” so instead they say, “I know it hurts. Life sometimes stinks. I’m here to listen or just sit with you.”

This doesn’t mean those verses and theological statements are not true, but that in a crisis, they are not very helpful.

Don’t Pray When You Can Help

I think that many times, we Christians use Bible verses and theology quotes as an excuse for not helping. But in the (paraphrased and amplified) words of James, “If a brother or sister is without food and clothing, and one of you says, ‘Be warm and well fed. God will provide for you. I’m praying for you. Just have faith.’ but you don’t do anything to help clothe or feed the person, of what use is that?” James is saying that if you are going to pray for a person, or pronounce theological truths, back up those words with some action.

When someone is facing a crisis, act like a non-Christian and pretend you don’t have helpful Bible verses and handy theological clichés to toss around. Instead, actually do something helpful. If nothing else, just offer to listen without lending advice.

God is Uncategorized Bible & Theology Topics: crisis, Discipleship, love others, non-christian, service

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To God be the Glory

By Jeremy Myers
2 Comments

To God be the Glory

God gets the glory, as He should in any situation, whether good or bad.

We’re still right smack in the middle of this crisis, and so far, we’re learning much from it and through it.

God is Good

God is Good

First, as some of you have reminded us, God truly is good. I have never doubted that.

I am reminded of a story I read about when Max Lucado almost lost his daughter to drowning. They found her floating face down in a swimming pool, and after pulling her out, and administering CPR, she choked, coughed, and was revived. In that moment, Max whispered this prayer: “Thank you, God. You are so good.”

Afterwards, he got to thinking about it and wondered, “Would God still be good if my daughter had died?” Theologically, he knew the answer was “Yes.” But personally, he was not sure how he would have responded in such a situation. I am not sure how I would respond either if one of my daughters died.

Faith in a Crisis

But I have seen how my faith has performed in a much smaller crisis, and I am not proud of it. Nevertheless, through this crisis (which is nowhere near as desperate a crisis as some people face every day), Wendy and I have become more convinced than ever of the goodness of God.

It is He that is seeing us through. He has made Himself real to us in ways that cannot be experienced apart from crisis. It is He that is teaching us things about life, ministry, and caring for others that probably could not have been learned any other way. So, to God be the glory.

I will share some of these we are learning in the next couple posts. Of course, unless you’ve been through a crisis (whether a large one or a small one like ours), these posts probably won’t be helpful. Nevertheless, you are welcome to come along for the ride.

Here are the posts:

  • From Crisis to Christless
  • What we Can Learn from Non Christians
  • When Facing a Crisis
  • My…Yawn…Crisis

God is Uncategorized Bible & Theology Topics: crisis, Discipleship

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