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You sound Angry, Bitter, and Critical

By Jeremy Myers
12 Comments

You sound Angry, Bitter, and Critical

My neighbor’s name is Carissa. She is twenty-one years old. And she is beautiful.

But she has a very … strange relationship with her boyfriend. His name is Kirk. It is not that Kirk is abusive … not really. I suppose you could say he is controlling and manipulative, but I don’t even know if that is exactly accurate. Something just seems “off.”

He wants to know where she is at all times, even though she hardly ever knows what he is doing most of the week.

He demands to know where she spends her money, and also requires that she contribute a portion of her money to their “date fund.”

Their “dates” are really something closer to appointments. They go on one date per week, from 7:00-9:00 PM every Friday night. If she is late or has to cancel, Kirk wants to know why. If she doesn’t wear the right clothes on their dates, he chides her for not looking her best. He constantly reminds her that if she wants their relationship to work, these dates are critical.

But they do the same thing every week for their date. He picks her up at 7:00 sharp. They listen to music on the way to a restaurant. He only lets her pick from 20 “date approved” songs. And they go to the same restaurant every week. He orders food for her without asking what she wants. What he orders varies from week to week, and while it is occasionally the cheapest thing on the menu, it is never the most expensive.

During the meal, he asks her how her week was, but doesn’t listen to her answers. He does most of the talking. When the meal is over, they go for a walk around a local park while holding hands. Then, at 8:50 PM they get back into their car so that he can drop her off at her house by 9:00 sharp. He gives her a kiss on the cheek and says, “I’ll see you next week! And remember, I’ll be thinking about you all week long.”

That’s their date.

During the week, Kirk sends her emails and text messages, but they all sound identical to the ones he sent last week. “I’m thinking about you!” he texts. “Can’t wait to see you this Friday! How’s your week going?” But when she texts back, he never replies.

I could go on and on about this strange relationship Carissa has with her boyfriend.

holding hands

But last week something happened …

This relationship has been going on for several years now, and I have gently tried to tell her that she should dump this guy and look for a new boyfriend. She always says that I don’t understand what they have together. That their relationship is fine. That he loves her and she loves him.

But last week, as she told me how great her relationship was, I must confess I got a little upset.

I said to her, “You could do so much better! You are young, beautiful, creative, talented! There is so much you could do. So much you could experience! So much of life you are missing out on! This guy Kirk … I don’t know what his deal is … but he is not right for you! He doesn’t really care about you, despite all his lame texts and empty emails and pointless dates. He apparently just likes to show your picture to his friends and say, ‘That’s my girlfriend.’ But that’s not a relationship! Get out! Leave him! I hate this guy. I hate what he does to you! He is not good! He doesn’t make you shine! He doesn’t honor you, respect you, or treat you like the princess you are! He does not love you. He is only using you.”

And do you want to know what Carissa said to me?

She looked at me with sort of a shocked, hurt, confused look on her face, and she said, “You sound angry … Are you bitter about a bad relationship from your past? … Why are you so critical of my boyfriend?”

I was stunned.

Angry? Bitter? Critical?

I don’t want to be any of those things …

Was she right?

I do often get upset at things when I shouldn’t. And I have had rocky times in my past relationships. My marriage isn’t perfect. And could it be that I was frustrated at my own failures as a husband and was unfairly and critically projecting these onto her boyfriend?

Maybe I should just back off and raise up my hands and say, “You’re right. I’m sorry. I know very little about your relationship. I wish the two of you all the best.”

But then I realized something.

If Carissa were my daughter, would I feel any different?

No! In fact, my love for my daughter would only amplify my feelings. If Carissa were my daughter, I would absolutely, definitely, be angry, bitter, and critical. Love would demand that I be angry, bitter, and critical.

Why? Because my daughter deserves better! Since I love her, I am required to fight for her. To hate how she is being treated. To be bitter that some jerk is treating her like trash. My love for her requires me to be critical of him, his ways, his tone, his attitude, and his complete lack of genuine love for my daughter.

So absolutely I was angry! Angry about a fake relationship that was passed off as the genuine thing!

You better believe I was bitter! Bitter that someone else’s daughter was getting treated so callously!

And of course I was critical! Someone needed to be critical of this guy so that hopefully Carissa would see that how she was being treated was not right and that she deserved so much better!

I told her these things, but she didn’t hear them. She was convinced that she knew better and that my “anger, bitterness, and critical spirit” were causing me to only see the bad things in her deadbeat boyfriend.

She admitted that her boyfriend and her relationship with him wasn’t perfect, but said, “There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship.”

“That’s true,” I told her. “But there certainly are better relationships than the one you’ve got.”

“I used to think so too,” she replied. “But now I realize that those sorts of relationships are only in movies and books. We all long for those sorts of relationships, but the sooner we realize they don’t actually exist, the better off we’ll be.”

better relationships

I understand where she is coming from. I do. I was in bad relationships when I was young, and nobody else could tell me they were bad. I had to come to that realization on my own.

And like her, I believed that there were no relationships like the ones in movies and books. But I have also started to see in my marriage to my own wife, that unless you believe that your relationship can get better, and work toward that goal, it will only get worse.

So I trust that Carissa will soon learn that her boyfriend is not good for her. I hope that she will leave him and will find the relationship she longs for her in her heart but doesn’t believe actually exists.

I hope she will eventually learn to see that although I was angry, bitter, and critical, it was only because I loved her, and wanted something better for her than what she has.

abusive church … By the way, this entire story was a parable.

I do not have a neighbor named Carissa. I don’t even know anyone named Carissa.

But I do have a neighbor named “Christian.”

… And she has a boyfriend named “church.”

This post was part of the May 2015 Synchroblog on the topic of anger. Here are other contributors to this month’s topic:

  • Mark Votava โ€“ Becoming Dreamers Again
  • Carol Kuniholm โ€“ย Godโ€™s Economy: Managing Anger Assets
  • Clara Ogwuazor Mbamalu โ€“ The Easiest Way to Control and Manage Angerย 
  • K.W. Leslie โ€“ Anger
  • Glenn Hager โ€“ย The Many Faces of Anger
  • Paul Meier โ€“ย The Value of Angerย 
  • Pastor Fedex โ€“ Chain Reactionย 
  • Michael Boden โ€“ Anger is Not a Godly Emotion
  • Kathy Escobar โ€“ underneath anger.

God is Redeeming Church Bible & Theology Topics: anger, bitter, church, critical spirit, love, synchroblog, Theology of the Church

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The Satanic Messiah vs. The Suffering Messiah

By Jeremy Myers
7 Comments

The Satanic Messiah vs. The Suffering Messiah

Have you heard of the Satanic Messiah? Probably not, since most people usually donโ€™t think of Satan and the Messiah as having anything to do with each other.

Yet surprisingly, worship of the Satanic Messiah may be more common than we realize.

In fact, such worshippers may exist in our own town โ€ฆ maybe even in our own church!

What is the Satanic Messiah?

The Satanic Messiah usually goes by the name of โ€œJesus,โ€ and is often confused with Jesus. In fact, the Satanic Messiah Jesus is identical to the Suffering King Jesus in nearly every way.

follow-me-satan-temptation-of-jesus-christ-1903

There are only three things that set them apart. While the Satanic Messiah looks like Jesus, acts like Jesus, and talks like Jesus, the Satanic Messiah has accepted and adopted the three values of the Satanic kingdom which were offered to Jesus in Matthew 4 and Luke 4. In Matthew 4 and Luke 4, Jesus rejected the Satanic offerings of (1) self-reliance, (2) control over others, and (3) glory before men. And while Jesus rejected these things when offered to Him by Satan, the Satanic Messiah has accepted and adopted such offerings, and has even called them โ€œgood.โ€

Where is this Satanic Messiah so that we might avoid Him and warn others to do the same?

This Satanic Messiah is the Messiah which is often preached from the pulpits and beheld in the books of modern Christianity. If modern Christianity has patterned itself after Jesus, then the Jesus we present to the world is not the Jesus who rejected the offers of self-reliance, control over others, and glory before men, but is the “Jesus” who has accepted such values and now holds them up as virtues.

Where is such a “Jesus”? He can be found all around us. He can sometimes be found in our churches, homes, and in our own treatment of others.

If the church is the representative of Jesus to the world, then to the degree that the church seeks to meet our own needs before the needs of others, desires to control the beliefs and behaviors of others (both inside and outside the church), and chases after glory, fame, power, wealth, and recognition before men, is the same degree to which the church presents Jesus as a Satanic Messiah to the watching world.

Donโ€™t be shocked by such a statement. This is not new. Mankind has always tried to make God in our own image, and God has always been trying to reveal Himself to us as He really is. We have wanted a God of self-reliance who needs nothing and nobody, who glorifies Himself by destroying His enemies and forcing every molecule into submission to His will, and who requires that all people worship and adore Him lest they face the torment of His eternal wrath.

Satanic MessiahBut in the face of this grotesque depiction of a manmade-God, God has been trying to show us since the very beginning in Genesis 1, that He is a God of light, love, hope, healing, mercy, grace, and forgiveness. As a result of Godโ€™s eternal love, He created human beings so that we might love Him in return. He wants our love, but knowing that He cannot force love, He woos us and invites us and calls us to Him, but we, being the worst of all possible lovers, slander His name, drag Him through the mud, tie Him up in a dark corner, and eventually even crucify Him on a barren hill. And all the while we declare that it is God Himself telling us to do these things.

Itโ€™s insanity. When God sends His messengers of grace and love to show us what He is really like, we get so upset that someone is threatening our idea of a God-who-looks-like-us, that in the name of God we kill the very messengers of God. This is what we have been doing since the very beginning. Itโ€™s what weโ€™re doing today. It is also what we did in the days of Jesus when the โ€œimage of the invisible Godโ€ walked among us. Jesus was not despised, rejected, condemned, and ultimately killed by the sinners and so-called โ€œenemies of God,โ€ but by those who claimed to know God best.

The Messianic Secret

All of this better helps us understand what many Bible scholars call โ€œthe Messianic secretโ€ in the Gospels. Have you ever noticed that as Jesus went around preaching and performing miracles, almost any time someone recognizes Him as the Messiah, He instructs them to keep quiet about this and tell nobody else? Since we all assume that Jesus came to declare Himself as the long-awaited Messiah, we get confused when Jesus prohibits people from telling others that He is the Messiah.

Why would Jesus want to keep His identity secret? Why does He want His role as the Messiah to remain a secret?

The reason, I believe, is because the Messiah the people wanted was not the Messiah Jesus came to be. The people of Israel wanted a warrior Messiah, one who would slay the enemies of Israel, overthrow the corrupt and pagan Roman Empire, slaughter the wicked, and set up Israel as the ruling nation over all the world.

The Messiah the people of Israel wanted was the same Messiah that Satan offered to Jesus in Matthew 4 and Luke 4.

Jesus knew that if word that โ€œThe Messiah has come!โ€ spread around the countryside, many people would start little rebellions in their towns, believing that this was what the โ€œMessiahโ€ wanted them to do. Thousands of people would show up with swords in hands, ready to follow the โ€œMessiahโ€ into battle against Rome. Since this is not what Jesus wanted, and not at all the kind of Messiah He came to be, He told people to keep quiet about Him being the Messiah. He needed to show them what kind of Messiah He was before He would let them announce that the Messiah had come.

The Confession of Peter

We see this exact same scenario play out on a smaller scale in Matthew 16. Jesus asks His disciples who He is, and Peter, by the Holy Spirit, says that Jesus is the Messiah (Matt 16:16). Jesus praises him for this answer, but then immediately tells them not to let anybody else know (Matt 16:20). A few verses later we learn why. Jesus instructs His disciples that since He is the Messiah, He must go to Jerusalem to suffer and be killed.

But the disciples do not want to hear this. Peter, the one who just proclaimed that Jesus was the Messiah, pulls Jesus aside and tells Him to stop saying such things (Matt 16:22). The Messiah is to kill His enemies; not be killed by them. The Messiah is to rule and reign and conquer; not suffer and die. At least, this is what Peter thinks.

How does Jesus respond? He rebukes Peter as speaking for Satan (Matt 16:23). He says that the Messiah which Peter has in mind has nothing to do with the ways of God, but is based entirely on the ways of men. This is the Satanic Messiah.

Jesus then goes on to say that if we truly follow Him, we will follow Him into death and self-sacrifice (Matt 16:24-26), not into power, glory, self-advancement, and control over others.

The Spirit of the Anti-Christ

When we put all this together, then we also begin to understand the New Testament teaching about the anti-Christ.

temptation of JesusIf the Christ is the Suffering King who bleeds and dies for His enemies, who loves and accepts all, and who has no desire to control others but only to serve them, then any โ€œChristโ€ which is used to defend war and violence toward enemies, to reject and divide from others, and to control and manipulate others for personal gain, is the anti-Christ.

Any portrayal of Christ that allows Jesus to accept the offers that Satan made to Jesus in Matthew 4 and Luke 4 is a false Christ, an anti-Christ, a Satanic Christ.

The Church and the Satanic Messiah

But has not the church accepted and adopted for ourselves the very things that Jesus rejected in Matthew 4 and Luke 4?

If so, are we not wanting, desiring, proclaiming, and following a false Christ, an anti-Christ … a Satanic Christ?

In many ways, the church has become just like Peter.

Though Peter understood that Jesus was the Christ, he did not understand what it meant for Jesus to be the Christ. The church has been making the same mistake ever since. The Messiah that Jesus rejected is often the Messiah that much of the church proclaims.

temptation of JesusWhen we lust for power over others instead of giving power to others, we are following the Satanic Messiah.

When we desire to control the beliefs and behaviors of others instead of trusting that God will lead them as He leads us, we are following the Satanic Messiah.

When we call for the death of our enemies โ€œin Jesusโ€™ nameโ€ instead of seeking to serve our enemies in His name, we are following the Satanic Messiah.

When we chase after wealth, power, prestige, glory, and fame instead of choosing to love, give, bless, and forgive, we are following the Satanic Messiah.

Instead of helping people in hopeless situations, we give them authority figures who tell them what to do.

Instead of seeing that we are all brothers and sisters on this earth and that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, we create false divisions based on skin color, cultural traditions, religious preferences, and invisible geographical boundaries called โ€œborders.โ€

Instead of seeking to be reconciled to our enemies, we seek revenge upon them by asking leaders to bomb them, kill them, or at the bare minimum, round them up and lock them away.

We cry out for freedom from oppression, not so that oppression can cease, but so that we ourselves can become the oppressors.

We vote in leaders who promise to change everything else so that we ourselves do not need to change.

The Satanic Messiah is alive and well, and I sometimes think he is worshipped and followed more than the one true Messiah, Jesus, our Suffering King.

Which Messiah do you worship, and why?

God is Redeeming Church, Redeeming Theology Bible & Theology Topics: christ, control, Jesus, Luke 4, Matthew 4, Messiah, power, satan, temptations, Theology of Jesus, Theology of the Church

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Good fruits are not the good works we perform

By Jeremy Myers
10 Comments

Good fruits are not the good works we perform

In Matthew 7:16, Jesus says that to recognize false prophets, โ€œyou will know them by their fruits.โ€ In Matthew 7:20 He says something similar: โ€œBy their fruits you will know them.โ€ Many teachers and Bible scholars say that Jesus is referring to a personโ€™s good works as the indication of whether or not they are aย  false prophet, or more generically, whether or not they are even a Christian.

bear good fruit

Good Fruit Does Not Equal Good Works

Two things can be said against the idea that good fruit refers to good works in Matthew 7:16-20.

First, in the immediately following passage (Matthew 7:21-23), Jesus talks about a group of people who have all the good works, but they do not know Jesus. They are so โ€œgoodโ€ in the good works department, they prophesy in His name, cast out demons, and perform many miracles.โ€ Surely, if good are โ€œfruitโ€ then these people qualify. But they do not qualify. Jesus says they practice lawlessness.

So what does Jesus mean when He talks about knowing someone by their fruit? A few chapters later He tells us. In Matthew 12, Jesus once again brings up the topic of good fruit from good trees, and this time, He specifically states that the good fruit is the good words that proceeds out of personโ€™s mouth, while bad fruit is the bad words that come out of their mouths. So by Jesusโ€™ own words, the โ€œfruitโ€ He has in mind is not the good works that a person does or doesnโ€™t perform, but rather, the words that come out of their mouths. Jesus emphasizes this again a little white later in Matthew 15:18 when He says that those things which come out of the mouth proceed from the heart (cf. Luke 6:45). This fits right in line with what James, the brother of Jesus, writes in James 3 about the tongue.

good fruit is the words we speak

Christian “rules” for Proper Speaking

So what does it mean to have good fruit come out of our mouths? Strangely, we Christians have seemed to reduce this teaching of Jesus down to a few guidelines:

  • Christians cannot use curse words or vulgar language.
  • Christians should try to include verses or references to God and Jesus in their discussions whenever possible.
  • Christians should always stick up for the truth, no matter the costโ€”even if what we say sounds hurtful and hateful. These three rules come from questionable understandings of Ephesians 4:29, Psalm 118, and Ephesians 4:15.

In many Christian circles, as long as we โ€œStand for truth no matter what!โ€, season our speech with Bible quotes, and donโ€™t say โ€œthe S-wordโ€ or worse yet, โ€œthe F-wordโ€, we are good to go.

Yet we turn around and gossip at church about the pastorโ€™s wife. We get online and say the meanest things imaginable to people we do not know on Twitter and Facebook. We curse entire groups of people to hell because we donโ€™t like their religion (e.g., Muslims), their lifestyle (e.g., Gays), or their politics (e.g., Liberals). We speak harshly to our wife, rudely to our children, and arrogantly to our โ€œunsavedโ€ neighbor. With our words, we undercut our boss at work, denounce our President as the anti-Christ, and tell police officers that they are racist pigs.

One bad appleI sometimes think Christianity would be far better off if we just all shut our mouths.

How to truly have “Good Fruit”

In an age when insults are so normal we think โ€œroastsโ€ are cool, and cyber-bullying occurs so often we barely take notice when suicides are the result, followers of Jesus need to be a rock of love in the swiftly-moving current of curses, providing voices of hope, healing, restoration, and acceptance that have almost never been found in the church.

Good fruit proceeds out of a mouth which overflows from a heart filled with love for others.

So the next time you tap out that perfect insult on Twitter, or come up with the witty rebuttal by email, or simply want to lash out in unchecked anger at the false teacher (in your opinion) on Facebook, take a deep breath, move your finger away from the โ€œSendโ€ button, and remember those famous words from Thumper in the movie Bambi: โ€œIf you canโ€™t say something nice, donโ€™t say nothinโ€™ at all.โ€

This post is part of the April 2015 Synchroblog. Here is a list of the other contributors. Go check them out!

  • Mark Votava โ€“ The Fruit of Non Violent Communication
  • Carol Kuniholm โ€“ Fruit That Will Last
  • Clara Ogwuazor Mbamalu โ€“ The Importance of Success By Bearing Fruit
  • Glenn Hager โ€“ Juicy Fruit
  • Done With Religion โ€“ Can We Produce The Fruit of the Spirit?
  • Pastor FedEx โ€“ How Do We Bear Fruit?
  • K.W. Leslie โ€“ New Fruit!
  • Leah Sophia โ€“ Stewardship Trilogy
  • Paul Metler โ€“ Bearing Fruit

God is Redeeming Church, Redeeming Life Bible & Theology Topics: Bible Study, good fruit, good works, Matthew 7:16-20, synchroblog

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If you love your church service, don’t watch this video.

By Jeremy Myers
28 Comments

If you love your church service, don’t watch this video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3RJBd8zE48A

Hat Tip to “Eve” for this video.

God is Redeeming Church Bible & Theology Topics: church growth, church service, humor

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She Would Not Have Had An Abortion If She Had Not Been A Christian

By Jeremy Myers
12 Comments

She Would Not Have Had An Abortion If She Had Not Been A Christian

Michael ThompsonThis is a guest post by Michael Thompson. Michael currently works at Denso Manufacturing TN as Expatriate Support. He is married to his wife Rachel, and they have two children (two and four-year-old). Michael also plays keyboard for Hope Church in Knoxville TN.

Feel free to connect with Michael on Facebook.

If you would like to write a Guest Post, begin by reading the Guest Blogger Guidelines.

abortion shame in churchWhen my wife started attending college her father served as an elder in their church. Even though she was very involved with her youth group and loved her church, she didn’t feel comfortable talking about sexual struggles with anyone at church or her family. These subjects were considered inappropriate for discussion.

At some point Rachel started dating the wrong person. To make a long story short, they had sex and she got pregnant.

Her family was prominent at church so her father’s reputation was at stake. Since she didn’t know how anyone would take it, she told no one. The only person who knew was her boyfriend, so he became the only influence over her. Should she have the baby, give it up for adoption, or have an abortion? She had never faced a decision of this magnitude and she was doing it alone and terrified.

If she had the baby her dad would be disgraced and be forced to step down as an elder. In her panic, she felt certain that her church would be ashamed of her and her father would reject her, whether it was true or not. When you’re faced with a big decision and you’re alone you become very susceptible to suggestion, and her boyfriend was telling her an abortion would fix everything.

She waited outside the abortion clinic, in tears, still not sure if she wanted to go inside. Her boyfriend pressed further and Rachel went inside, alone, while he waited outside in the car. When Rachel got inside she saw other girls also in tears. All the other girls had a mother, father, or friend to hold their hand. Rachel sat alone in tears, waiting for a doctor to kill the baby growing inside of her so her friends, family, and church would not learn of this and reject her.

There was another teenage girl at her church who also got pregnant before all this happened. Rachel saw how people talked about her when she wasn’t there and how people started treating her differently when she started to show. Rachel didn’t want that shame for herself or her father. That thought, mixed with her boyfriend’s venom, convinced her to have the abortion.

Rachel always said: “If I wasn’t a Christian I never would have had an abortion.”

It’s a tragedy that any girl should feel this way, and that a child was not given the chance to live because of it.

christian abortion shame

Rachel and I want all Christians to treat pregnant girls with nothing but the love of Christ.

The truth of Scripture that sex is reserved for marriage should be upheld, but if the only time this comes up in church is in the form of shaming the girl who made the mistake, we could be paving the way for the next Rachel to have an abortion.

It is time to bring to light that which has remained in the darkness. It is time to love those who live in shame and fear.

If you learn that a girl in your church got pregnant, love that person like you’ve never loved anyone before. They need it now more than ever. You’re not approving of the sin by loving them. The incredibly difficult life change and loss of social life and personal time will be punishment enough for them. They don’t need your rejection on top of it.

We also want girls to understand that the world will not end if people know about your mistake. Finding out that youโ€™re pregnant is terrifying, but it’s incredibly unlikely that you’ll be met with an angry mob if people find out. You need someone to support you through this. You made the decision to have sex, you got pregnant, and your life is going to change. You will not look back several years from now and regret having your child. That child is going to be the joy of your life. You will, however, forever regret an abortion. The pain from the decision to abort is so much greater than the work and inconvenience of becoming a mother. It’s going to be very difficult for you, but you are stronger than you think. Reach out for strength from your church family and your immediate family and get through this.

God is Redeeming Church Bible & Theology Topics: abortion, church, guest post, shame

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