This post contains 10 Things you SHOULD DO when serving the poor and the homeless, and 10 Things you SHOULD NOT do.
As there are different things you should or should not do for homeless people versus those who have a home but are poor, some of the items on the list begin with the words “Homeless” or “Poor” for things that are specific to those groups of people.
10 Things to Do for the Poor and Homeless
- Get to know the poor and homeless. Spend time with them. Ask them their names, and remember them. Tell them yours. Shake their hands. Be open and friendly. Touch them. Hug those who want hugged. Allow them to tell their stories. Listen. Remember.
- The poor and homeless are our equals. Honor them, respect them and treat them as our brothers and sisters. Feel honored that they are willing to share their lives with you and that you have the opportunity to spend time with them.
- Find out from them what they most need. Your presence, your touch, your love, may be at the top of the list. If you’re giving them “stuff”, personally hand it out. Remember – You’re “sharing”, be it your time or your stuff.
- Homeless: Check with your town or city to make sure they do not have an ordinance against distributing food on the street.
- Homeless: If you distribute food, small items that can be held in the hand and that don’t need plates, silverware, ovens or refrigerators work best. If you plan to give out cooked food, make sure hot food (soup, burritos, pizza, etc.) is kept hot until you hand it out, and that cold food (meat sandwiches, etc.) is kept cold until you hand it out.
- Homeless: Give them new socks and underwear. Bag them individually in Ziplock bags, marked with the size. The highest quality socks and underwear are usually not necessary. When socks and underwear get really dirty they may be thrown out by those who don’t have access to a laundromat.
- Homeless: Give hotel size, single use toiletries – soap, lotion, shampoo, razors (bag one or two disposable razors in Ziploc snack size bags) and so on. Find toothbrushes that have covers. 16 oz. bottles of shampoo or lotion often end up in the garbage (They’re too heavy to carry.) You can buy single use items in bulk from hotel supply companies for a few pennies each.
- Homeless: Many of them have significant dental problems and cannot eat items that require a mouth filled with good teeth, such as apples. They can usually handle bananas, tangerines and oranges.
- Poor and homeless: Give them clean clothes, blankets, and similar items that are in good condition. Launder and fold them and label them with sizes. Dirty clothes and blankets usually end up in a dumpster.
- Homeless: Always take bottles of water, regardless of the time of year. Dehydration is a common problem among the homeless.
10 Things Not To Do for the Poor and Homeless
- Homeless: Never give them money. If they tell you they need it to buy a specific item, buy the item for them.
- Homeless: Never tell them your address or take them to your home. If you doubt the wisdom of this, let’s communicate privately.
- Homeless: Don’t go alone. Don’t go in large groups. Groups of three to five work best. Don’t go after dark. Mid morning to mid afternoon works best.
- Homeless: Don’t take your wallet or purse or wear expensive jewelry or clothing.
- Homeless: Don’t give them new clothing, with a few exceptions – socks, underwear, and possibly shoes. Why? – Three reasons:
- Expensive new jackets, hoodies, shoes and similar items may endanger them in areas with high populations of street people, where it is likely they’ll be mugged (and possibly beaten) and lose that new coat you gave them.
- They frequently sell those items to raise cash to fund their habits. We go the day after Christmas, and they try to sell us brand new coats, shoes, blankets and similar items. Swap meet dealers in vans also patrol the homeless during the holidays, offering to pay cash for new items.
- Many do not have access to laundromats. When the sweatshirt you gave them gets filthy, if they can lay their hands on another one, they’ll throw the filthy one in the trash, whether it’s the $1 one you bought at a garage sale or the $30 one you purchased at the department store.
- Poor and homeless, but especially the homeless: Do not clean out your attic or closets, bag up the stuff and drop it off on a street corner in the homeless area. Most or all of it will end up in a dumpster. They do not need gold four-inch heels, bell-bottom pants from the 70’s and broken blenders. If it’s usable, donate it to the thrift shop. Otherwise, throw it in the trash!
- Homeless: Do not drop off cases of bakery products, such as loaves of bread, packages of rolls, whole cakes and pies, packages of frozen dough, unbaked pizzas, and so on. Most of this will end up in the garbage.
- Try to avoid giving out “packets” of items, such as a toothbrush, lotion, apple, socks and soap, unless you tell them what is in the packet and ask them which of those items they need. Otherwise, they sort through the packet after you’ve left and throw away the items they don’t want.
- Avoid giving out major items at Christmas, especially to the homeless. Visit them at Christmas, take along water, tangerines, little bags of crackers, hotel size shampoos and that type of thing. In most urban areas, many of the people who are on the street on the weekend before Christmas and on Christmas day are not homeless. They only pretend to be homeless and are on the street to get free blankets, sleeping bags, coats and similar items which they plan to sell at the swap meet. Hand out the sleeping bags and similar items at least a week on either side of Christmas, when the real homeless people will get them.
- Avoid giving out large quantities of candy. Many poor and homeless cannot afford dentists and have bad teeth. Also, people who work with drug addicts have advised us against giving out candy. Apparently some addicts will live on drugs and candy if possible.
These are not exhaustive lists. Of course, some of these things may not apply where you live. If you have one homeless guy in your small town who sleeps on the city square, you would probably notice if several other people sat with him on Christmas day, pretending to be homeless so they can receive new blankets and sleeping bags.
We would love to hear additional ideas or questions in the Comments section from those of you who also come alongside your poor and homeless friends.
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Jeremy, this was excellent & informative. I’ll be prepared when I minister to them and NOT bring my Tailor guitar!
I am homeless and i agree i am dangerous and scary and the only thing I would add to the list is to bring a knife or at least some type of defense weapon, also don’t ask how I am writing this
Ha! Yeah. But an old beater guitar might be good, and you could play for them or with them! Many of them might like that.
Yes, jeremy, a beat up guitar. I’ll have to depend on my voice. Thanks again for your very thought provoking blogs! I’m enjoying them
What hotel supply company do you shop from?
Can’t wait to help!
They have a location here in southern California where we can pick up supplies. Since most of the items are heavy in bulk, shipping may be expensive if you need to have your order shipped. If you live in or near a large city, use your search engine to search for a local supplier where you can pick up the supplies. (Search under hotel soaps and amenities) Here’s a link to the place we go:
http://www.nathosp.com/prod_detail_list/hotel_soaps_and_amenities
As an alternative, if you know a local hotel or motel manager, they might be willing to include your order with theirs and charge you their cost. Explain that you plan to give the supplies to the homeless.
Hey 🙂 I read in the comments that you guys are in San Diego. I am too. I was wondering if you could suggest any good organizations that help the homeless and things along those lines? Thanks!
Destiny, yes we are in San Diego. There are many organizations here that help the homeless. Do you have ideas about how you want to help? Do you want to donate money, time or items? Do you want to spend time with the homeless, get to know them, serve food, help sort and distribute clothing, or what would you like to do? If you would like some general answers, we can do that here. If you want more specific answers, we can contact you directly at your e-mail if you give Jeremy permission to share that with us.
I live in Charlotte, NC. I don’t make enough money for anything other than paying tuition payments, but I would still like to help the homeless. When I am unable to purchase anything, how can I best show them that they are valued, without putting myself or anyone with me in unnecessary danger? I’m a pretty big fellow so I’m not too concerned for myself, but a few of the people who may want to come with me are pretty small and tend to dress like they have money.
Also, would you consider it best to just have two people if you are only sharing time and not items? Thanks, and God bless.
Josef, Of course you can share time with the homeless. Since I’m not familiar with the situation where you live, I don’t know if you would be doing that on the street of in temporary shelters or housing. If the latter, you may be able to give your time to help serve food. If the former, I would suggest you and one or two others spend time on the street getting to know the people living there. Maybe one of those who go with you can afford to buy individual-sized bottles of water to share. Having something even as simple as a bottle of water to give out is often a good way to meet people and begin a conversation.
Thank you for this information! I have been wondering how to help. I always feel so sad when I walk by them and I want to do something but don’t know what to do. I have handed out gift cards for subway but that gets really expensive and I can only help a few plus they might sell them.
If you need more ideas, such as specific items most of the homeless need, let us know. We try to avoid gift cards, since those frequently get converted to cash which is used to buy whatever it is the person is addicted to.
not all homeless are addicted to anything. I was homeless 4 times in my life. i can tell the hardest thing was finding food a tent and warm blanket would of been great. the females need pads for when they have periods the kids still go to school even though homeless so book bag is handy. they do wash up in fast food bathrooms so face to towel is handy. most needed thing for me was CAN OPENER,as can food is cheep . and everyone can use hot cup of coffee. offer them work if you have it every little bit helps to try to better one self. in walmart in camping area they have pocket knife that has spoon and fork and bottle opener on it now thats light and something they can carrie in pocket to eat food with. remember they need to be light and police make them move all the time. I was barber and often gave them hair cuts for free so they could get work to help them selfs.
Thanks for doing what you can. The first step in helping them is to notice them.
Some hotels are willing to put their toiletries, that have gotten wet or damaged, aside for a group. The paper on soaps may get wet but the soap inside is dry, just not pretty on display for a paying guest. Be faithful to communicate and pick up the donations though. Most don’t want the boxes sitting around taking up space in their supply rooms.
Educate yourself on programs, that support the homeless, already in place in your community. Volunteer and donate to help them survive and thrive!
If a homeless human being sells a gift card, do you know what he will obtain when he sells it? He will in fact actually obtain MONEY… which will obviously be far more useful to him then a card that can only be used for food and only on very specific locations, if he regularly goes to food pantries, feedings, or restaurants that have good garbage cans. Or, he may simply need something much more necessecary, such as gloves or an SD card. So, you obviously dont have to worry in the slightest about whether he sells the gift card or not, since he has been helped either equally or more so if he does so!
Yes, it is OBVIOUS that people who are poor can “only help a few” homeless if they do any actual, legitimate, help. Such a gift card to a very good-tasting restaurant such as Subway! For example. It’s REALLY GREAT when a poor person knows they are limited in how many homeless they can help, because you know that at least in that case they have actually been helping somebody rather then acting like a completely useless charity or merely “doing feeding”, etc. Instead they have ACTUALTY HELPED that individual. If there are many “feeding” in your city, it is a good idea to look for the specific people who are unable to get there or who do not like that food. For example, people who lost track of time easily, who do not live near to the feeding areas, who do use buses (out of that area) or who avoid buses (into that area), who own a lot of things or who are disabled in a way you can never see by looking at them, and also are not with someone else who can walk more easily, who do not get government checks, who do not get food stamps, who do not have friends regardless of being normal people, and who generally dont stay out visibly in areas such as people who stay online more and take showers more often, etc. (Or, whoever seems to have a serious emergency or craving at this particular moment, or who just hasn’t been able to get food from a restaurant for a while in general, regardless of whether they normally do.)
Hi! I have founded a homeless help movement and have been doing give outs for some time now. I was wondering about your DON’TS # 2 and 3, would you kindly be able to elaborate on those please?
Please feel free to contact me privately (preferred, really).
Many thanks in advance.
This is a great article, practical and relevant. Our church ministers to the homeless, and most if not all of these principles are part of our strategy too. Well done, bro 🙂
Thank you. As I noted in my response to J below, conditions vary by locale, and you may need to do some things differently where you live.
We’ve had local people get very upset with us for advising not to give money to the “homeless”. When they tell us they always give something to the guy on the corner (at such and such a location) and we tell them that guy is not homeless, but drives a new BMW when his shift on the corner is over, they see the need to rethink their cash handouts. The really bad thing about what they’re doing is that it takes resources away from those who really need them, the real homeless people, and gives cash to a guy who is pulling down $60K annually by posing as homeless.
The best way we have found to avoid helping the wrong people is to get out on the street and meet the homeless. Spend some time with them. Get to know them. Then you will know who is really homeless and what they really need.
Hi Jeremy,
I do not know where you are based, but I found that this post is not applicable in the area in which I live. I live in Australia & have been working with homeless people for quite a while now. Half the things you mentioned on your post are irrelevant in our case as most people we have come across have needed the stuff that you mentioned not to give out but I guess it’s a different situation everywhere.
Thank you for sharing your post though.
Keep doing God’s work.
With love,
J, Melbourne, Australia.
These comments are based on the homeless situation in large cities in Southern California. If you have been working with the homeless for many years in Australia and the situation is different there, then you know what works best there.
For example, here new coats and blankets at Christmas rarely get used by the people who receive them, but are sold to swap meet dealers. We see it happening and the homeless themselves tell us that is what often happens. Many of the “homeless” on the street the weekend before Christmas (the homeless have told us it is one third to one half of the “homeless” present) are not homeless, but people who dress up as homeless to get the free items.
Many of the panhandlers (people asking for money) are not homeless. They are professional beggars who pose as homeless.
Many of the ideas in these posts work well in the urban areas of North America (Canada, USA, and Mexico). I do not know about other continents or countries. Just keep learning to love, and you will discover needs.
Why is bread a bad thing to give them? What are some things I can cook that are cheap and easy and would actually be ate?
Bread works fine in small amounts. Cases or large bags, large loaves, unbaked pizzas and similar items, however, don’t work because they can’t eat most (or any) of it before it dries up or molds.
Hard-boiled and peeled eggs are an excellent source of protein and most people like them. Some like pb&j sandwiches, but ham and cheese (buy the loaves of ham & slice them, 5 pound blocks of sliced cheese, add a little mayo and put in large hamburger buns, then in sandwich baggies) is more popular.
I disagree with the advice of never giving them money. A lot of people in the street do not automatically have problems with alcohol or other addictions and are smart enough to spend their money wisely. There are many other reasons for becoming homeless than addictions. Giving them money will allow them to buy the things they need when they need them, without having to carry them around all the time until they need them. Plus, buying things is more time taking while giving money is quick and easy because we almost always already have money with us. By trying not to give money we might end up giving nothing at all. I think it is not realistic to think that homeless people are going to get food every day from people just when they are hungry. Directly giving the stuff they need might be better in many cases, but trying to never give money also sounds to me like a kind of parenting and denying their sense of responsibility.
Thank you for this article though, and for the good advice.
These suggestions are general guidelines. If you know the person you’re giving the money to, and know that they’re using it to buy food and other necessary items, ignore that advice. We know hundreds, probably close to one thousand homeless individuals. Not all of them are addicts or alcoholics, but so many of them are that we make a general rule to never give money. Drugs are a huge problem here, and we have no desire to help people destroy their lives by helping them fund their purchases of crystal, crack, and similar substances.
We also have a big problem with panhandlers who appear to be homeless, but aren’t. Some of them drive nice cars and live in nice homes, and pull down $60K and more from their “day job”, which is dressing up like they’re homeless and standing on busy street corners asking for money. Our city is attempting to crack down on these people, but some of them seem to persist in spite of efforts to document what they’re doing. We know who some of these people are and have personally seen them walk to their cars at the end of their “shift”, peel off their ragged clothes, throw them in the trunk, and drive off in their almost new BMWs.
The key is to spend time with the homeless. Get to know them so in most cases you will know who is really homeless, who needs money to buy food, and who needs money for drugs or for payments on their new BMW. If you don’t have time to spend with the homeless themselves, and wish to donate money, if you have local organizations that provide food, toiletries, clothing and even shelter to the homeless, give them the money to buy those need items for the homeless and you can be reasonably certain your money is actually helping the homeless.
Many homeless in the northwest have military compensation (different than retirement) and are not poor. They just have problems living near other people. I see many homeless at the VA hospital. =free medical.
Thank you for your post. I couldnt agree more. Most are homeless for a reason other than addiction. They have not chosen this road less traveled. There was no other road.
I found this article to be extremely helpful. We are doing a homeless project this year. Our previous efforts were aimed at a local nursing home. So, I’m completely new to this! However, fortunately our area (south Alabama) doesn’t have a large homeless population. I’ve actually only seen one homeless person in our town. Our donations will be going to Mobile, AL which is the largest city near us. We are working with two groups this year. One provides transitional housing to homeless veterans. The other is a homeless shelter. Since CA has more people in one city than we have in our entire state, I trust your advice! I’ll be bookmarking your page!
Thank you Hayden. The do and do not’s lists above are general, especially some of the do not’s. That information is designed to keep people who are new to mingling with the homeless and who do not know them well from becoming disillusioned very quickly. Also, some of the advice is intended to keep you safe. For example, we are aware of college students who go to the most dangerous homeless areas (mostly populated by severely addicted individuals) late at night. The homeless themselves tell us the students should not be in those areas, especially late at night.
If you have only one homeless person in your town, get to know that person. You may discover there are more homeless people in your town than you think. If you partner with the homeless shelter in Mobile, visit them. Have lunch with the homeless. Talk to them. Learn their names. Build relationships with them. In doing these things you will probably better know how to help them.
I want to start helping? I have read your dos and donts which is a start.
I want to start simply, quietly getting on with what needs to be done.
How did you start? What would you suggest?
I could simply help a couple but I feel bad I’m not able to reach out to others too.
Katrina, Go to the “Search” box at the bottom of the front page on this blog and enter the word “homeless” and you’ll find lots of posts about the homeless. Read them, and if you have questions let Jeremy know that it is o.k. for him to give me your e-mail, or ask him to give you mine. The posts are written with large urban areas in mind. You may live in a small town or an area that doesn’t seem to have many homeless. The homeless are a very diverse population, so the posts address only a segment of that population and are therefore somewhat general. Most of the “advice” is intended to help people new to helping the homeless have a good experience and avoid bad experiences. The areas where we go have a very high proportion of drug and alcohol dependent and mentally ill people and the highest crime rate in this large city. Where you live may be much different.
Thank you for this article.
I want so badly to bring home a person or a family that are homeless.. allow them a hot shower, some homey comforts and nice meal, good conversation and mostly giving them a feeling of being loved and cared for and human. Taking them shoping for a warm comfortable outfit and other needs.
But the thing that stops me is that I just cant imagine after doing this, dropping them back off where I found them. while I go home to my cozy life.
What a horrible thing to do., I feel like it would be worse for someone to feel this for just a day.
I find it really sad , that I allow this to hold me back from helping someone to feel loved.
I struggle with this thought daily as I do not have the means or the space to house someone or I would help one at a time get back a life for them self. I just wish I could follow through with this and not have to face the guilt I feel just thinking about dropping them back off where I found them.
Jody, Thank you for having a heart for the homeless. On the face of it, the advice in the post that says don’t tell the homeless your address or take them to your home may seem heartless. That advice is based on the years I worked in law enforcement. We advised everyone to never tell anyone their address or take anyone to their home unless they know the person extremely well.
There are options. You might take the person or family to a restaurant like Denny’s or whatever you can afford for a nice meal. Find out exactly what clothing items they need and buy them some of those items. Unless you know they wash their clothes (many throw out the clothes when they get dirty), buy clothes in decent condition in a thrift store. For the cost of a new item, you can usually get multiples of the same item in a thrift store.
Depending on where you live, some towns and cities have portable showers or other locations where the homeless can shower. Many of those groups need help paying for the showers, and people to volunteer to work at the showers when they’re open. There are also organizations in most areas that help people find housing. Many of those organizations also need funds and volunteers.
If you would like to discuss this by e-mail, reply to this comment and say that you give Jeremy permission to give me your e-mail address, and we’ll talk that way. I may know some of the organizations that work with the homeless in your city, or know someone who does. Most places have numerous ways in which you can help multiple homeless people.
Hi Jody thats really nice of you but remember they are people not pets. I saw a show where some lady was dressing up a chimpanzee or some kind of monkey and it was living in the house like a person. Something went wrong with it maybe because it was sick in body or mind for a while and it went crazy. It found a gun they had and was waving it around and the chimp was ultimately put down. The woman was going on about how she loves the animal and didnt want to harm it but she forgot the nature of what she was dealing with. Homeless are humans but they are humans in a certain state of mind and ultimately they are also just human beings who have their own personal issues and selfishness. Going too far will disappoint you in the end. You can make a big difference by doing what this article recommends. You dont have to save the world or even save one homeless person to save lives. What it really takes is what this article says which is be consistent and regular in your help. That all adds up and spreads from person to person.
No, the homeless aren’t “humans in a certain state of mind” nor are they “chimps”. They are HUMANS. Thats not to say to willy nilly let strangers into your home because you wouldn’t do that anyway, whether homeless or not. The homeless are not “people like you and I”. They ARE you and I.
Thank you for the helpful information – I was planning on making care bags and was looking to see what I should put in them. your post opened my eyes to the problem with that (throwing away what they don’t want. I will still make some bags with water, granola bars and a couple dollars but the rest of the stuff I will just keep in a box and ask them what they need. I am not planning on going to deliver them but to hand them out to the people looking for money at street corners.
If you live in a small town and know that the people on the street corners are really homeless, your plan should work. If you live in a larger town or city, you may want to contact some of your local homeless service agencies and ask if the people you see on the corners are really homeless or are professional panhandlers. Where we live, many of the panhandlers are not homeless, but are professionals. There is even a “school” that teaches how to do this. They have working days and hours and live in decent houses, drive nice cars, wear nice clothes and more. The professionals want cash, not socks, granola bars, toothbrushes and things like that. Thank you for caring for the homeless where you live.
Someone gave a broken blender? Thats as bad as when I learned that pharmaceutical companies get rid of overstock diuretics to starving countries to get a write off.
Super duper article and great tips. I disagree with two things.
1. I think its a bad idea to hug the homeless and things like that because of germs and disease. Its not their fault and I dont want to make them feel bad but its reality. I know you can get the same kinds of disease from public but its the same as a public gym shower. You can get germs in using it and I use them but I wouldnt shower barefoot without slippers.
2. I dont think its wrong to give cash money and it depends on the situation. Giving cash money is allowing them to exercise freedom of choice and not be a like a child who gets socks on their birthday. So its about dignity but I understand cash can be bad if you give over $5 or $10. I think you just have to judge the situation because a lot of homeless need money to save up and buy a bus pass or something. Sure you can buy it for them but I am not able to shell out $100 for one but I can give $5. If you say they are adults and our equals then they can make their own choices with the money.
We don’t routinely hug every homeless person, only those who want hugged. We wash our hands before eating or touching our face, just like we do whenever we touch anyone. We almost never get sick, and I doubt we’ve ever picked up any illness from the homeless in all the years we’ve been with them. Do what you’re comfortable with, be it shake hands if they offer a hand, or whatever works for you.
The money thing is a difficult topic. Due to our proximity to Mexico, we have a huge meth problem here on the streets. There’s also cocaine, heroin and more. We know many, many addicts and alcoholics. We never give money because we know most of it is used to buy drugs and alcohol, which does not help these folks in any way. Many of our panhandlers are not homeless, destitute or even poor. They’re what might be called professional beggars who have homes, cars, food, nice clothes and so on. Their unshaven faces and ratty clothes are their work outfits/costumes.
If you know someone is really homeless and not using the money to fund their addictions (I assume you don’t want to help an addict pay for their drugs), use your personal discretion in giving cash.
i do not like this website because there is harsh pictures like the one of the man in the cardboard box
Uh… okay. Imagine what it must be like to live in one of those boxes.
Something I’ve discovered there’s a real need for in winter weather is #1 men’s warm socks, #2 thermal blankets that fold so thin you can carry them in your pocket, I order them from a site called emergency essentials.com Pretty economical, I order about 10 at a time for $21. #3 men’s & women’s winter hats/ beanies, usually Walmart has a decent price, and #4 disposable 8 hr. hand warmers. Just a few ideas. I also like to put together treat bags for homeless kids. I put a little candy, maybe a homemade bracelet, little trinkets, stickers & Always a tract made for children. These Precious little ones don’t get many things that they get to keep for just themselves! Thank You for Your Ministry as well. If We ALL just give a little in JESUS Name, We can Help Advance His Kingdom MAJORLY!! May You be Abundantly Blessed to be a Blessing to Countless others!!
Those are all great ideas, Tisha. We give out similar things, except for the hand warmers, which usually aren’t needed here in San Diego. We get socks, blankets, scarves, hats and more from excess merchandise that didn’t sell at thrift stores. If you have thrift stores in your area, talk to the store manager (not just who is in charge when you go in), explain what you do and ask what they do with the items that don’t sell. Some sell it to rag processors, but might be willing to sell it or give it to you at a very reduced price or free if they know it is being given to the homeless. If you do this through a church or other organization, mention that so they will know they can check with the organization to make sure you are really giving the stuff to the homeless.
just read your lists and agree with most of what you wrote about do’s and don’t for the homeless. But telling people not to give money is not consistent with my experience (I moved into the hood and brought them into my house – that started a ministry to the poor). I suggest you don’t give them a lot of money but you don’t deny them the one resource you cannot live without yourself. Have respect for them, direct them to help, and HELP THEM as you can! Give them a few dollars and suggest they get something good to eat. And let them know God loves them and has a plan for their life … they just have to cry out to Him when they are ready.
These are general suggestions. If you know someone really well and know they are using the money to buy food or similar things, then you should do what you think best.
We’ve worked with the homeless for many years, and know that many do not use the money to buy needs items. Many of the people we work with are addicts. The ones who are not tell us that the addicts use all or almost all the money they can lay their hands on for drugs. We hear the same addicts asking people over and over for money for food, bus fare, to make a phone call, and so on.
These same people have cell phones, won’t leave their tent and pile of stuff because it won’t be there when they return from a bus ride, and live off the food they are given by the “drive-bys”, the people who give them food.
This is not the case for all the homeless, so be sure you really know who you are giving the money to, and that they are buying food and not supporting the drug cartels with your money.
Thank you for this article. I have always had a heart for the homeless. For years I have talked about doing something but never have. This weekend a friend and I decided we are going to do something. We had planned on handing out bags of items and lunch bags but after reading this I think we will bring the items with us and find out what each individual needs. I am not sure where to go to find the needy but I plan on contacting the homeless shelters to get more info. I live outside of Tulsa and am not aware of a problem in my town but I know there is need in Tulsa so that is where I will be going until God shows me a need closer to home.
From a social worker – first step is not to identify them as “homeless people”. They should be referred to as a person who is homeless. Same goes for mental illness.
They are people first.
Hi Sam…Great thoughts on how to practically love and serve the homeless in our cities…I was wondering, would you be willing to share further thoughts on not bringing the homeless to your own home? I have a particular situation that I’d like to get your thoughts on. It’s more than just having a homeless person over for lunch 🙂 Thanks,
Don Bruner
Don, These are general suggestions, especially intended for people who have not been befriending the homeless for many years. Some of the homeless are safe to bring into your home where you, your wife and your children live. Some are not. If you do not know who is and who is not, I suggest you err on the side of keeping your family safe when in doubt.
If you are in a position to know the person’s history (including their history with law enforcement, if they have such a history), you can make an informed decision about allowing them into your home. I know situations where people did not know the history of the person they brought into their home (this is not limited to homeless people), and their family suffered the unfortunate results of that decision. We are homeless advocates and do not want to paint everyone with the same brush, as in saying something stupid like “all homeless are dangerous.” That’s not at all true.
When giving advice to people regarding their interactions with the homeless, we try to err on the side of safety for people and their families who want to help others. One bad experience is usually the end of someone’s involvement with the homeless. We prefer to see people who will be involved for a long time, who may occasionally err on the side of being overly cautious with people whose histories they do not know.
How do I find out if the people on the street corner that I see on my way to work are really homeless or professional panhandlers? I see the same people at certain stoplights every day. One guy made me stop giving money (I’d give the occasional dollar) when I saw him so stoned out of his mind he could barely keep his eyes open or stand up! He was in a stupor.
There’s also a woman with dredlocs and grey hair who is fairly new (only a few months) who appears to be reading her bible every morning. She seems to barely pay attention to the cars that pull up beside her at the light. There’s the guy with the straggly blond hair and the sign with clever wording, and lastly the guy that wears the whitest tennis shoes! He’s not extremely dirty or anything and keeps a bandanna tied around his head. Occasionally, I see people that only show up now and then and some I’ve seen once and never again.
How do I discover who’s who?
I’ll look for my answer here unless you want to respond to my email privately. It’s okay to do so.
I’m sorry for asking a rude question but to be honest is it dangerous to touch an homeless person?
I’ve never touched or hugged any homeless, and if that will make them feel better I wouldn’t prevent my self from doing that if one will ask me to.
My only concern is to become infected in a very dangerous illness, because they live in the street for years and it seems that they carry diseases.
Again, sorry for being rude but that’s my current point of view.
We don’t consider it a rude question. We know that many people have this concern. We asked our doctor how to avoid colds, flu, viruses and other contagious illnesses. She told us that whenever we are in public and touch anything or anyone, to never touch our own bodies above our shoulders or when using the bathroom until we thoroughly wash our hands with soap and water. She said many contagious illnesses are picked up by what we touch, and certain viruses and so on can live on surfaces for a day or longer. So that can of applesauce in the store, or the person’s hands you touched to shake hands may have something on them that will transfer to your hands, then to your eye, nose, mouth or whatever when you touch those.
Before we started rigorously applying that advice, we had an average of five or six colds, viruses and other things each year. Now we average one or two. To the best of our knowledge, however, we have never caught anything from the thousands of homeless people we have touched or hugged.
The doctor also told us to use common sense and don’t touch people who say they are ill, or who are obviously ill, and don’t touch anything they have touched. We apply that advice to everyone, homeless or not.
Touching or hugging anyone is a personal choice. Some homeless do not want to be touched, and we don’t try to touch every homeless person we see. We almost always shake hands with those who want to shake hands and hug those who want hugged. Often in handing someone a sandwich or bottle of water, we touch a little as part of the process of transferring the item to the other person.
What I am saying here is that we try to treat everyone alike, homeless or not. If we know someone has a bad case of the flu or a bad cold, we try not to touch them until they’re better. Otherwise, we touch and hug anyone who wants to be touched or hugged, and try to respect those who don’t.
Hugging a homeless person is one of the most genuine hugs you will ever receive.
I am. Homeless and what I want is a job and that hardest when u smell so shower is the most important thing for me and it makes you feel so good for the next few days thanks
Jesus was never afraid to touch the untouchable sam is giving good advice but in the scriptures when a person in the old testament touched a leper or a dead person they became unclean that is our fear.What is different with Jesus is that when he touched the lepers his righteousness made them clean instantly when he touched the dead they came to life that is the power of the holy spirit and that power is in all of us who believe by faith in Jesus Christ.So we dont have to be afraid because we are covered in Christ.brentnz
Thats messed up. what if you were homeless.
The times I have gone out and given blessing bags to the homeless and prayed with them have always ended up blessing me in the end…one in particular was an elderly man who when we gave him a hug…oh man you could tell that was the one thing he really needed…He just began to weep…I would suggest getting outside your comfort zone and do it…I promise you you will not regret it!
Hi! I have a question…you mentioned never giving out your address or taking them to your house. I live on a busy road near a homeless headquarters (Room In The Inn) and the homeless walk past my house every day (maybe 10 a day). As its getting hotter I thought about putting a cooler out at the edge of my front yard with bottled water and oranges for the taking. Bad idea?
Tiffany, These are intended to be general guidelines, especially for people who are new to helping the homeless, and are not intended to imply that most homeless are dangerous. If you have friends who work in law enforcement, most will advise you to not give out your home address to any stranger or take them home, and that is where this advice comes from. I know people who have done it and come to no harm, and others who did not fare so well. You might consult with the staff at your nearby homeless headquarters and ask their opinion of your idea, and then proceed with your idea if those folks think it would help the homeless who pass by your yard.
I think it would be okay. Just use a cheep styrofoam cooler or lock it to a fence.
Thank you for all this solid advice. I like the water cooler idea too…plan b, install a sidewalk fridge for all the neighbors leftovers and unused food. Your location is perfect to spread the love. You’d have the perfect opportunity to know the true needs over time and could possibly relay even more advise to everyone to end homelessness all together. However, in another comment, the words “banned candy” triggered my personal urge to comment. I understand that dental care and cavities and gingivitus all are pretty important stuff to homed clothed fed bathed and employed people, but there are some folks out there that need sugar. God made it, it can’t be all bad. A lot of recovering alcoholics eat candy as a way for the sugar to still be in them but not the alcohol to ease detox and a lot of former smokers eat candy to curb their cravings as well, which is a calming helpful tool. Candy is not quite as bad as has only been described as. I was in a situation once that I will never forget of a single smuggled Werther’s changing my life forever and giving me the hope and energy that I needed to survive. We are equals … but candy’s only for the people that can afford dental care? Nope. Not buying it. Oppression. And I suggest keeping sugar free candy on hand for diabetics as well. The older ones don’t even know there is such a thing as sugar free sweets. I’ve gotten lots of smiles and bestdayever’s with those instances.
What’s wrong with giving them money? Not all homeless folks are addicts. Just like not all Pastors are con artists. It seems to me the giving is what’s important, not what is done with the gift.
Amen!!! I thought the same thing. I don’t think that’s what Jesus would have done. And we humans are imperfect…that’s why we should leave the judgement to God. We don’t know what God’s plan is, but the Bible tells us it’s always good, so I’d encourage people to take a chance and show someone on the street that looks like s/he needs love Jesus. Even if a person has been an alcoholic or addict or prostitute, etc, etc all their life, that day could be the day they turn their life around. Jesus’s coming redeemed our sins – with his love, people can get beyond their past – but we have to give them a chance…and that certainly doesn’t happen when we withhold it.
Shawna, Look through the answers to this same question in both “Older Comments” and “Newer Comments.” The key is to know and know well those to whom you might give money. That means building relationships with them. Then you will know if they really are homeless instead of a panhandler pretending to be homeless, and you will know if the person to whom you are giving money will use it for something other than drugs and similar things.
Building relationships with folks is not practical. As I don’t have 3 people to go with me and I don’t speak Spanish.
When I was homeless money is the one resource I could carry and use. Living on the streets means you either travel lightly or stash your belongings and hope no one finds them. I ate out of fastfood trash bins, continued looking for a job. What little money I had found went towards stuff I needed.
Where I was, the homeless shelter was the worst place to go. Women were constantly being raped and belongings were stolen. I am glad folks get to know folks. Get to know their needs. However imho, talking to someone about giving birth does not mean you know what it is like unless you have gone thru it.
Now where I live there are only 2 homeless shelters, 1 for women and kids that are involved in domestic violence. The other is for folks with aids.
I give when the Holy Spirit tells me to. I leave it in God’s hands.
Everyone wants to believe the money we give to not well off people goes to food and needed items. I’m not homeless but I was close I was a alcoholic before I went to rehab 2 years clean. I can honestly say I would have traded a shot of cheap rum for a ex large loaded pizza any day. Look when your down you do things that don’t make sense, it’s a cry for normalcy. Good people do stupid things. If the dollar you gave the young girl happens to fall on a day of giving up and she bought drugs instead wouldn’t it be better knowing you gave something else instead of cash?
Thank you for your compassion and care. My group, Radical Love, serves two nutrient rich meals to people in our area who are homeless. By getting to know my neighbors who are homeless I have learned better how to minister to their needs. In the beginning, I gave candy! 🙂 Now, all sweets and sugar are banned from the meals I serve. We serve up wonderful, rich, nutrient dense foods that really contribute to health. And I do a lot of talking, a lot of sharing and a lot of hugging. When I am down time with my neighbors who are homeless grounds me and puts me in God’s presence. Thank you for all you do, and for giving people loving guidance. http://www.RadicalLoveMinistry.com
HENRY
By Linda Nixon
I went to touch his weathered, aged hand,
but the deep scars and dirty welts I seen,
rather frightened me.
So my consoling effort became superficial.
Unable to touch him physically,
I set beside him humbly.
Listening,
as he unwrapped a small piece of history.
A tale of uncommon woe.
He mourned for his lost wife,
who had,
allegedly,
been stolen from him,
by a hit and run driver recently.
He was desperate to find the funeral home where she laid.
But he had a problem remembering it’s location,
and name.
He said it was a shame,
none of his family came.
I inquired if he had any children?
The reply came in a puzzling way.
He rattled off several names,
along with each birthday.
An insight where more then what he said was conveyed.
Wondering if this list of kin were true,
why was this old soul traveling a road,
only the forgotten knew.
A cloud of confusion seemed to take over his mental view.
As if that unasked question was one he well knew.
An eclipse of pain covered his dull,
troubled eyes.
Suddenly he turned his face to mine.
His tarnished facade surprisingly came alive.
Transforming into an innocent, young child.
I was granted a heavenly smile.
Immediate I understood.
This neglected man was not alone.
God was protecting him with His own wounded hands.
With a glimpse of purity,
his devoted keeper was peaking at me.
Now unafraid,
I reached out and held his decaying hands.
My fears washed away in a
compassionate wave.
A tender smile was shared;
we were both children of a father who cared.
Another lonely heart in a massive city too save.
His or mine?
It was hard to say.
This was very helpful
I am homeless. And if you really want to know what we need, ask. Ask us as a person. Not every woman can wear tampons, not every woman will wear pads. Not all of us want to walk around looking like our outfit was pieced together from whatever somebody happened to not want anymore or they themselves wouldn’t wear because it’s ugly. Please don’t give us expensive jewelry or really expensive anything because yeah, it could get us in trouble with someone else, or it could even make the police assume we stole it. But your bell bottoms from the attic… Why not? Ask us if we like them. If we don’t, most of us will answer truthfully and allow you to give them to someone else. But a lot of us do enjoy getting some cool little necklace or something. People with money are allowed treats and special things. We should too. Also, makeup for women isn’t a bad idea. But please, not something that is 10 years old, that has been sitting under your bathroom sink. Some of us have dignity. We do like having fun things too. Something to entertain ourselves, like puzzle books or a journal or notebook. Also, old phones that we can access WiFi on with a charger are great too. Clean makeup bags or pencil cases (cloth not plastic) help us keep small things organized in our backpacks.
Also, not all of us have “habits” that you have to worry about us spending money on. Not all of us are diseased or nasty or thieves. Spend time with us. Be our FRIEND. So you don’t have time to get to know ANY HOMELESS person? Hmm… But I’m sure you have time to get to know that new neighbor or new coworker. Time to spend with your friends that have homes. I agree, don’t invite any homeless person into your home… UNLESS YOU GET TO KNOW Them on a personal level. Hang out with them. Instead of just handing out bagged lunches, sit down and EAT WITH US. Breaking bread with somebody is a great way to get to know them. Listen to our stories and don’t make assumptions. And don’t think we don’t deserve luxury as well. We spend most of our time taking care of our NEEDS but nobody pays any attention to our wants. And every single person deserves to get SOMETHING they want once in a while.
You go girl! I love your comment! Also very understanding to myself, I am getting ready to go help some homeless womens group, and just wanted to google on what to give, love, share? Thank you so much for the truth of how things are! Hope you are doing well.
Thank you, both Lisas. Every year, on Valentine’s Day, I do something for the women’s shelter near me because I see it as a day to give love. Last year, some friends and I got together and gave each woman a vased rose with a handwritten note. The woman got to pick the color she wanted. I chose that for just the reason Lisa #1 mentioned. I know that when I’ve struggled, I can’t spend money on beautiful little luxuries like that, so it was my way of letting the women know they are special. The funny thing is, that like Lisa #2, I’m online trying to get ideas about what to do on Valentine’s Day this coming year. I was thinking about necessities, like tampons, pads, underwear, bras, but Lisa #1’s comments made me think maybe I had the right idea last year…maybe my job is to “spoil” the women, so they remember that they’re worth it. Like Lisa #1 said, everybody needs that. Maybe I’ll leave the necessities to the other givers?
I volunteer at a women’s shelter and every year on Valentine’s Day I take helium balloons and some sharpie markers and we write a prayer request on our balloons and take them out side, have a prayer time and then on the count of three…. “Let It Go”. What a great feeling! The women love it!
Thank you so much for your reply. I volunteer at a homeless shelter. I go in the afternoon during the women’s shelter. I have to say, some of the most loving, genuine people I have ever met. I always take something to eat, that is where I have my lunch, at the table with everyone. I take nail polish, puzzles, we do rock painting and I do all this with these lovely women who come in. I hope that I am building relationships with these women and that they know they are truly loved. We show the love of Christ at our ministry. I have never been uncomfortable at all about sitting with the ladies, hugging, holding hands during prayer… I will probably pick up more colds and virus from my grandkids, but that won’t keep me from hugging them, so why should it keep me from hugging a person who doesn’t have a home to go to.
My passion for what I do has even spilled over to my husband. He is now a volunteer who teaches a jobs class for the men’s recovery program there. My son was a heroin addict and attended the recovery program there. I share my story about my son with the women who struggle with addiction and I listen to them and there stories.
A recurrent sentiment in my city is that giving food, clothing and bedding to the homeless enables many among them to live an irresponsible, dependent life style. Especially those who live outside of charity supplied shelters.
The cost to the city to clean up homeless campsites is another augment against give-away programs. These only lead to waste and fraud.
The only charitable efforts that are recommended by those who bring the “enabling” argument are programs that come with a requirement to submit to disciplined guidance intended to return homeless persons to useful, responsible participation in society.
“God helps those who help themselves.” is their motto.
I agree with that sentiment to an extent. before I started volunteering at a homeless shelter, my image of a homeless person was that of my addicted son who was in and out of jail, stealing from me, and couch surfing to stay off the streets. Thank God, he is clean and sober today and has been working the same job for 2 years and is happily married.
I started volunteering there because I thought maybe I could do something to help others get in to recovery and off the streets. What I found was some addiction, but mostly mental and physical disabilities, women who have been victims of sex trafficking and abuse. These are some very strong women who are doing everything they can to survive. Some are homeless by choice but many are not. You can’t have an emergency shelter and screen who gets stuff and who doesn’t. Each person who walks through that door has a story, and every person who walks through that door is experiencing pain. Our mission is not to be a hand out, but a hand up.
Hello, as winter approaches I’m considering purchasing some blankets, socks and underwear to give to homeless people in Athens (I live in Greece). However, I’ve never done anything like this before and in I’m being honest, I am a bit reluctant and I can’t quite understand why. I don’t know if its fear of something i’ve never faced before or biased ideas of what a homeless person is portrayed as, provided to me by movies, the news etc. I guess I don’t even really know what i’m asking for here. I really want to do this. Is there maybe someone here that has felt this way when offering help for the first time or starting their first day as a volunteer at a homeless shelter?
The homeless people that I have encountered who try to sell new items are trying to do so for a clean, safe place to sleep on the inside for the night, transportation money, money for school supplies or a smaller clothing item for their children, etc. The reason why we don’t give new clothing here in Chicago is only due to the danger of having someone take it from them or City of Chicago that only allow them to have so many items so if you give it to them off-season, they wind up throwing them away because they cannot store them until they are usable. We also give used clothing because they often throw new clothing away once they get dirty. Do not assume that homeless people are homeless because they have a habit. Many cannot afford housing because many metropolitan cities have overpriced housing. I know homeless couples who work everyday to take care of themselves and their children and just cannot afford suitable housing. Further, many of the homeless suffer through mental illness, not a drug habit.
And, about the giving money. Give loose change. Its helps most of them get to the doctor or to shelters across town. And, in Chicago, some of them use it to get on the train so that they have temporary reprieve from the elements.
I disagree about the “packets” comment. Our church gives out Blessing Bags twice a year, and it’s always appreciated. Besides, what they do with it is their business. I don’t think that should be a practice to stop at all.
Hello. I recently moved to a lower income community.. some might refer to as the ghetto, but I noticed a bunch of people that appear to be homeless staying under several bridges in this community. I would love to give them bottled water, ( as I can afford a case of it at a time, and it’s been so very hot. I’m kinda nervous to do this alone… Is there a website or communy of people in my area that I can contact to come with me? Maybe help with some expenses? Let me know. God bless!
Hi and thanks for the tips. I am up the 215 from you in SoCal and volunteer at a senior center. I was surprised to see the number of homeless seniors who virtually “live” there during the day. They camp out in areas close to it overnight, some in the enclosed dumpster areas, some in their trucks or cars in the area parking lots. I’ve become friends with many people there, some I wasn’t even aware they lived in their cars. Since it rarely gets below freezing here, it still gets cold (to us). I was thinking about getting a case of those handwarmers that hunters and sports fans use to casually (I’m not fond of overt…look at me I’m helping people….scenes. If I can do it anonymously the better for me) have available. Old bones and joints get achy in everybody, homeless or not. Seems to me it’s worse being a senior cramped up in a car or on the hard ground. Do you think something like that would be ok?
…..What a horrific ally disgusting post! The most disgusting part of all, it that it is EXTREMELY OBVIOUS that it is absolutely guaranteed that actually in fact ZERO non-drug-users “will sell” ANYTHING at all to “fund their drug habits”, let alone that coat that they have needed for months being forced to almost die on several occasions because they didn’t have one yet!! Nothing from any packet “will be thrown away”, they will be given to other homeless people obviously unless there are no other homeless people in that area. The only thing that is likely to be thrown away is 1) horrible, unusable, non-food items that are sold in the grocery section of gas stations, such as the mashed “pink slime” in cans that are labeled “vienna sausages”, or any kind of bread/bagels whatsoever that isn’t part of a sandwich. And 2) individual, hotel-sized bottles of shampoo and the like, which are obviously unusable, taking more then 5 bottles to wash hair or body one single time and being nearly impossible to use anyway, as well as not actually cleaning your hair/body since the quality of product inside the bottle is worse then Dollar Tree is is unusable on it’s own, for example, not spreading or lathe ring at all. Most of us have been to a hotel at least once in our lives, so this is some pretty obvious fucking shit that all people know. I dont know about any “16 oz bottle” either – sure, a bottle of gel-like substance that small probably really is likely to get crushed and spill out jn a backpack. How about an actual, regular-sized shampoo – you know, the only one that is actually usable for anybody as well as being the only one that isn’t likely to be thrown away.
When my kids were teenagers, I would have them invite a couple friends to take a trip to Seattle with us in around late October-Early November.
We would all carry Backpacks I had made out of remnants and sprayed with Scotch guard and fill up with items I had purchased mostly from the Dollar store and Goodwill, Socks, Cut off finger gloves, Beanies, small roll blankets, small motel sized soaps, toothpaste/toothbrush, Lotion, comb, baby wipes, wind up flashlights, Hot hands (I would buy a box at Costco for that) and food like: Vienna sausage, tuna, ravioli, apple sauce, Small plastic jars of peanut butter, Water. and a couple large garbage bags they could use to stay dry.
I had a separate bag to carry things people may or may not want, Tampons, Pads, Razors, Dog Bones, tether, notepads, pens, aspirin, Orajel. and I didn’t care if they might turn around and sell something for whatever else, I’m not making that choice, they are, and they have that right.
I was teaching my kids that we are all equal and one never knows if they might end up in this situation, Nobody is immune to poverty or homelessness, and as for losing everything because of drugs or alcohol , This too can happen to most anybody, it could come about by growing with parents who drank excessively, it could be that the person had a physical injury and became addicted, it could be that a person was physically or mentally abused and used as an escape, self medicating for physical or emotional pain or it can start from just trying to fit in. after a while one may not even remember or know how to live straight and the unknown can be scary, there are more reasons why and more reasons why it is hard to stop. Nobody ever said “When I grow up I want to be a Drug Addict, an Alcoholic or Homeless. these people all started as we did, sweet innocent Babies.
I still help the homeless, I don’t have to go to the city anymore, they are intown now. I always have bottled water and dog bones in my car and if I see and old homeless vet or somebody I am certain is homeless and not just looking for drug money, I will ask them if they are hungry and fetch them something they can eat at the grocery store or a hot meal at the nearest fast-food joint.
I might be doing these things for selfish reasons as it does make me feel so good to help.
I live to give 🙂 Janelle
I once saw a person give a homeless person hand warmers on a cold, cold day (called Hot Hands hand warmers- available at Walmart and I’m sure many other locations ). I thought that was a great idea! ?