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5 Signs you might be in a fantasy church. #3 actually happened to my wife

By Jeremy Myers
26 Comments

5 Signs you might be in a fantasy church. #3 actually happened to my wife

In a previous post I introduced the idea that in some ways, church can be worse than porn. The reason is that while porn causes people to feel inadequate with their sex life, many churches cause people to feel inadequate about their spiritual life. Both are presenting a fantasy that does not match reality. Today, (with a head nod to Jeff Foxworthy) I want to present some signs that you might be in a fantasy church.

5 Signs you might be in a fantasy church

fantasy church

1. If everybody in your church seems happy, fulfilled, and satisfied all the time … you might be in a fantasy church. (Did you ever sing that “Happy, happy, happy all the time” song in Sunday school? Yeeeaaah …. nobody is truly happy, happy, happy all the time.)

2. If you are in a church where everybody seems to have devotions every day, their prayers are always answered in miraculous ways, and everybody seems to be talking about God all the time … you might be in a fantasy church.

3. If during the greeting time, someone asks you how you are doing, and when you answer “Terrible” they smile, nod their head, and say, “That’s nice,” … you might be in a fantasy church. (This actually happened to my wife!)

4. If you are in a church where people never seem to sin, have fights with their spouse, get speeding tickets, have trouble with lust or alcohol, or have questions and doubts about what the pastor preaches … you might be in a fantasy church.

5. If all you ever hear from the pulpit is how great it is to be a Christian, and how God will supply all your needs and take care of every problem … you might be in a fantasy church.

(If you can think of others, please post them in the comments below!)

If you find yourself in a fantasy church, beware!

Trying to be real and authentic in such a place will only get you hurt more deeply. The best thing a person can do who finds themselves in a fantasy church is to leave quietly and find a group of people with whom they can be authentic, open, and honest (even if they are not all Christians!).

One of favorite Christian music groups, Casting Crowns, has experienced this also, and sings about it in their song “Stained Glass Masquerade”:

God is Uncategorized Bible & Theology Topics: attending church, church, Discipleship, honesty, Theology of the Church

Is Your Church Worse than Porn?

By Jeremy Myers
6 Comments

Is Your Church Worse than Porn?

I watched a debate last week between porn king Ron Jeremy, and porn pastor Craig Gross. Apparently, the two are traveling around to college campuses and debating the pros and cons of porn. I love what Craig is doing at XXX Church, and his book The Gutter is one of the better books I have ever read.

So I really hate to say that in my opinion, Craig lost the debate. There are multiple reasons why, which I won’t go into here. (This is NOT to say I am in favor of porn!)

But something was said during the debate which really got me thinking. One of Craig’s arguments was that porn is fantasy, and people who watch porn are bound to be disappointed by sex, since reality never matches fantasy. This is certainly true, and even Ron Jeremy didn’t deny that porn presents a fantasy.

But Ron’s rebuttal is what really made me think. Ron argued that we all live in a fantasy world. Everything we see on television is fantasy and does not match up with reality. Most of what we see and read in books and magazines is hyped-up, glossed-over, air-brushed fiction.

church worse than pornHis argument was that if porn is wrong because porn is fantasy, then almost everything we read and watch and get involved in is wrong as well, because most of it is fantasy. Even the way most of us live our lives is fiction. We rarely let people see the inner hurt, pain, depression, frustration, fear, loneliness, and anger.

As my wife and I were talking about this, she made the observation that this fantasy-life fiction is magnified in most churches.

The Fantasy World of Church

We seem to think that since the Bible talks about peace that passes understanding, joy in the midst of trials, contentment in times of need, faith in the face of fear, and happy lives full of holy ambition, that if we don’t have these things, something is wrong with us.

And when we look around at others on Sunday morning, and sing the happy songs, and listen to the motivating sermon, we are tempted to think, “Everybody else seems to have what we are so loudly proclaiming. I better act like I do too, or they will think something is wrong with me.”

A pretty good case could be made that church fantasy is more damaging than porn fantasy.

The reason is that most people in most churches don’t know that everyone else is in just as much pain as they are. Most people wear painted smiles to church. The suits and skirts hide scars. And the pastor isn’t really that excited about God; he’s just high on caffeine (I’m speaking to myself there!).

Most people are afraid to be real and authentic at church because then people will think they’re unspiritual.

fake smiles at churchMany churches are bigger fantasy playgrounds than the porn industry.

Which is Worse?

So the question is this: Which is worse? Thinking that your spouse will never be satisfied with you in bed, OR thinking that God will never be satisfied with you in this life? The first is a result of looking at porn, the second is a result of attending some churches.

Future posts will look at some possible indications that you are attending a fantasy church (Worse than Porn Part 2, Worse than Porn Part 3, and what you can do about it.

God is Uncategorized Bible & Theology Topics: church, Discipleship, honesty, porn, Theology of the Church

Exposed!

By Jeremy Myers
3 Comments

I’m attending a church planting conferenceย on April 24-27 called Exposed, and I’m looking forward to it more than any other church planting conference I’ve been to. Here’s why:

First, theyย are limiting attendance to only 20-30. I’ve been to many church planting and church growth conferences over the years, and though it is exciting to be part of conferences with 100’s (or 1000’s) of people in attendance, I always feel a bit…lost. In big conferences, to those who are teaching, I’m just another face in a huge crowd. To those who are attending, I’m just some other guy who they will never meet again. But at Exposed, I imagine I will get to know the speakers and the others in attendance in a wayย not possible at other conferences. Who knows? Maybe I will even develop some friendships with other church planters, and we can partner with each other in the future.

Second, the conferenceย isย being hosted byย Square 1 Church Planting, which was founded by two guys (Joe Centrino and Stephen Hammond) who have actually planted churches and are still pastoring churches. Not only that, they haven’t written books (yet), or been invited to the White House, or raised $4 million in four weeks, or seen their church go from 50 to 5000 in 5 years. While some of this may happen to them in the future (it could!) right now, it’s just twoย guys in the midst of church planting who want to help others plant too.ย Sometimes, I think the “big name” church planting gurus have forgotten (or never experienced in the first place) some of the sweat and blood struggles of planting a church. But Joe and Stephen have been through it all.

Third, Square 1 is about planting Missional Churches. Missional churchesย want to do more than just have bigย buildings and Bible studies, but instead want toย embrace culture so it can be redeemed and transformed by the love of Jesus. Missional churches are churches that are on a mission to see the Gospel actually change lives. If all we do is talk, read, learn, and write about the Gospel, I don’t think we really understand it. Missional churches are trying to live the Gospel.

Finally, rather than just sit around and listen to speakers speak, we are actually going to go out and have some fun together!ย On Friday, our wives get to go shopping together, while we guys enjoy some male bonding. That night, all of us areย going to attend a Texas Ranger Baseball game. Try doing that at Exponential!

Space is really limited for this conference, so if you want to go, contact me for a brochure, or contact Joe and Stephen at Square 1.

God is Uncategorized Bible & Theology Topics: Discipleship

Pagan Christianity

By Jeremy Myers
13 Comments

Pagan ChristianityI finished reading Pagan Christianity today and I mourn for what thisย book could have been.

The basic argument of the book is that most of what the church does today was borrowed from paganism. Things like buildings, the order of worship, the sermon, the pastor, tithing and clergy salaries, baptism and the Lord’s Supper all have their roots in pagan religious practices. Therefore, the authors strongly suggest that such things should be done away with, and we should all become house churches.

Though they don’t say it, I imagineย the authorsย are against Christmas and Easter as well, since both of these holidays are steeped inย pagan cultic worship practices.

What people who argue this way don’t seem to understand is that everything about Christianityย is rootedย somewhere/somehow in paganism. For example, did you know that the Genesis creation account is nearly identical in form and language to Egyptian creation myths which predate Moses? Moses almost plagiarized Egyptian creation myths, and changed the names from Egyptians gods to the Israelite God. So if Viola and Barna have their way, we better toss out Genesis. Oh, and Deuteronomy as well, since it is based on a the pagan Suzerain-Vassal treaty system of that day.

Furthermore, most of the Psalms are similar in style and language to pagan songs sung to pagan deities.ย Solomon “borrowed” many of his proverbs from other pagan kings. So rip Psalms and Proverbs out of your Bible too.

How about the Gospels? Have you ever wondered why there are four? One reason is that in the First Century, “Gospel accounts”ย was a popular genre ofย religious literatureย designed to celebrate the birth of a new Roman emperor. Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John are borrowing a pagan practice of writing “gospels” about the emperor, and use it to write about Jesus. So, down with the Gospels!

While we’re at it, we might as well just chuck out the whole Bible. Writing, after all, is a pagan invention, and if you’ve ever opened a Bible, you may be shocked to find that it isย filled with writing! Oh, the horror.

And someone better come knock me off too. After all, I was once a pagan, and in many ways (as you can tell from this post), I still live and operate like one.

The bottom line is that Viola and Barna, though their research is excellent, have come to the absolute wrong conclusions. Yes, it is true, most of what we call “Christianity” today has it’s roots in paganism. But that doesn’t mean we jettison it! Instead, we celebrate it. Why? Because that’s what Christianity is all about: Redemption.

Christianity is about taking what is in the world (the kingdom of darkness) and redeeming it through Jesus Christ, bringing it into the kingdom of light.ย I mean, look at most of the things Viola and Barna talk about in their book, and most of the things I mentioned above.ย Almost nobody knows or remembers that these things were originally pagan. Instead, almost everybody, even people who are not Christians, equate such things with Christianity. Why? Redemption!

The truth is that rather than looking at what “pagans” are doing around us and running the other direction screaming “Run for your lives!” we should be watching, learning, and askingย “How can Christ redeem that?” Personally, I believe that nothing and nobody is beyond redemption. We may need to get creative, and weย will need to dump some of the sinful elements, but everything and everybody can be redeemed.

That’s what Pagan Christianity should have been about. They should have celebrated what changes have occurred over time; not criticized them. Sure, some (even most) of the things Viola andย Barna criticizeย have become outdated, ineffective, wasteful, and maybe even sinful. But if so, then that is why we should stop using them, not because “they were once pagan.”

After reading this book, I have half a mind to go out and find the most pagan thing I can, just to see if I can redeem it and adopt it into my church. Any suggestions?

God is Uncategorized Bible & Theology Topics: Theology - General, Theology of the Church

Attending the Church that God Does

By Jeremy Myers
4 Comments

Attending the Church that God Does

When I was a pastor in Montana, a man who had attended our church for years stopped coming. He came by to let me know why (which I respected greatly, since most people just disappear and then get upset when the pastor doesn’t call them to find out why they haven’t been attending). He said that the reason he wasn’t going to attend our church was because we didn’t let God in the door. What he meant by this was that he thought we were quenching the Holy Spirit in our Sunday services.

In response, I wrote and distributed throughout our church a little pamphlet called “Attending the Church that God Does” explaining that if Jesus were walking planet earth today, ours was the kind of church He would attend. Yeah, I think I handled that guy’s departure pretty well.

The ironic thing is that I don’t agree with what I wrote in that pamphlet five years ago. These days, I am finding that to be true of almost everything I wrote so many years ago. (So if you disagree with the content and tone of many of my sermons on this website, you’re in good company — I disagree with some of them too.)

Anyway, I found the following “comic” strip on a blog called Adventures of the ASBO Jesus. The following example is nothing more than a word balloon from God, but what do you think of what this writer has God saying? Do you think God is as bored and tired of our churches as we sometimes are?
godchurch.jpg

God is Uncategorized Bible & Theology Topics: attending church, following Jesus, Theology of the Church

Pussycat Preachers

By Jeremy Myers
12 Comments

Pussycat Preachers

Heather Veitch Pussycat PreachersI read about this onย the MMI Weblog.

When young pastor Matt Brown announced he was supporting a ministry for women in the sex industry led by an x-stripper, he was expecting applause. Instead, he got cold stares and an e-mail inbox filled with angry letters. At issue was Heather Veitch, an x-stripper turned evangelist. She looked too much like a stripper and was leading Christian women into the dark world of strip clubs for so-called โ€œoutreach.โ€ Capturing it all, was documentary filmmaker Bill Day for his new film โ€œThe Pussycat Preacher.โ€

โ€œMost Christians know that Jesus spent time with prostitutes and tax collectors because that is where the word was needed. But believing the ideal is one thing and living the reality is another,โ€ says Day.

โ€œIf we all took a vote on being Biblical versus being respectable , we would all vote for Biblical,โ€ says theology expert Professor Sarah Sumner PhD from Azusa Pacific University in the film. โ€œBut the reality is many churches are more concerned with respectability.โ€

Pastor Greg Laurie from mega-church Harvest Christian Fellowship in Riverside was one of pastors who didnโ€™t believe Heatherโ€™s method of winning souls was worth the risk. He warned Brown to stay away from Veitch.

โ€œWhen a Pastor you look up to tells you something like that itโ€™s scary,โ€ Brown confesses. โ€œIโ€™m a pastor and I am supposed to love people. But I didnโ€™t love strippers. What Heather did was she birthed that in me and my congregation.โ€

Instead of backing away from Heather, Pastor Brown put up $50,000 of church money to support the ministry. But in no time at all, a rumor got started that the $50,000 was being used by Brown to buy lap dances for himself. Brown suddenly found himself on the verge of losing his church facility housed on the campus of Southern California Baptist University.

For her part, Heather Veitch claims she is winning souls and that is what matters. For evidence, she has the documentary which shows a number of strippers making their first venture into church. โ€œNow comes the hard part,โ€ Heather smiles.

Day says the film is not rated but very โ€˜โ€™PGโ€™โ€™ It has no nudity or offensive language. It isย available on DVD from Amazon.

What do you think about this kind of ministry? What do you think about Greg Laurie’s response? Is this kind of ministry too risky?

God is Uncategorized Bible & Theology Topics: Discipleship, evangelism, ministry, missions, strip club, strippers, witnessing

A Life Prayer from Vince Antonucci

By Jeremy Myers
2 Comments

A Life Prayer from Vince Antonucci

prayer lifeYesterday I introduced you to my life prayer.

After I wrote that post, I was reading some other blogs and found another prayer that would be a good life prayer.

It comes from Vince Antonucci. Here is what he wrote:

God, I want more.

I want to love, cry, smile. I want to be a radical. I want to pray. I want to sweat blood. I want to feel. I want intimacy. I want passion. I want power, resurrection power.

I want to see You. I want to touch Heaven. I want to hurt, to suffer.

I want to walk, run, and fly.

I want to scream. I want to rejoice. I want to laugh till I ache. I want to ache. I want to care.

I want to be in the rebellion. I want to lead the rebellion. I want to be the rebellion.

I want to live with reckless abandon. I want to be astonished and afraid. I want to dream. I want to see visions. I want to hear the clatter of dry bones coming together.

I want good friends. I want to love my enemies.

I want holiness. I want to experience the sacred, the divine.

I want to hallow Your name. I want to walk on water. I want to dance on water.

I want to touch the sick, I want to experience their pain, I want to heal them. I want truth. I want to be set free. I want to be hungry, and I want to be full.

I want the Spirit. I want to drink the Spirit. I want to be falling down drunk on the Spirit. I want guidance, direction, discernment, wisdom.

I want to be a warrior. I want to never look back, turn back, or go back. I want to attack. I

want to cause trouble. I want to induce fear. I want to turn the world upside down. I want to pour myself out and pour myself into today like there’s no tomorrow.

I want to be comforted. I want to thirst for righteousness. I want to be an agent of justice.

I want to shine. I want to blaze. I want to bathe in grace. I want beauty from my ashes.

I want to seek first the Kingdom, I want to bring the Kingdom, I want the Kingdom to fill me up and spill out of me. I want to carry the cross till my legs burn and my shoulder bleeds.

I want to see that the tomb is empty.

I want Jesus. Lifted up, easy to see, leading my life, overwhelming my life with His life.

I want Jesus. I want Jesus.

Thanks, Vince! I want that too.

God is Uncategorized Bible & Theology Topics: Discipleship, prayer, vince antonucci

My Life Prayer

By Jeremy Myers
3 Comments

My Life Prayer

Yesterday I made a post about how God is a stripper, meaning that He strips things out of our life to make us more usable for Him. I’ve been going through some trying times in my life recently, and amidst all of the frustration and questions of “Why, God?” it was as if God said to me, “Jeremy, it’s because you’ve been praying for it! I’m only answering your prayers.”

Sometimes when the fire of God sweeps brings destruction to our lives, it’s because we’ve been praying for God’s refining fire.

You see, one of my life prayers has been for God to make me into the kind of person He can use to reach the kind of people that many churches cannot or will not reach. 

Though the process has been painful, I believe that in order to mold me into that kind of person, God has has to strip me of some things.

The answer to “Why, God?” is “He is answering my prayers.”

In fact, He’s answering my “life prayer.”

My life prayer is not found in the Bible.

Oh sure, I pray the prayers in the Bible, and I pray Scripture, but the prayer I pray most frequently was penned by my favorite poet, John Donne. If I had realized how painful the answer to this prayer would be, I’m not sure I would have ever started praying it (a similar prayer is found here).

life prayer from John Donne

Anyway, here is my life prayer, as prayed first by John Donne in Holy Sonnet XIV.

Holy Sonnet XIV

Batter my heart, three-personed God; for, you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend.
That I may rise, and stand, overthrow me, and bend
Your force, to break, blow, burn and make me new.
I, like an usurped town, to another due,
Labour to admit you, but Oh, to no end.
Reason your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captive, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betrothed unto your enemy:
Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again,
Take me to you, imprison me, for I
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

God is Uncategorized Bible & Theology Topics: answers to prayer, Discipleship, life is hard, prayer

God is a Stripper

By Jeremy Myers
3 Comments

God is a Stripper

God is a stripper.

No, not that kind. (Though ifย you believe Jesus, strippers are probably closer to the Kingdom of God than many religious people… See Matthew 21:31.)

God is a stripperWhen I say “God is a stripper” I am reminded of a “looking for work” advertisement I saw in the newspaper a few years ago. At the top of the ad in big bold letters it said, “I’ll strip for you!” This ad was placed by a lady who owned aย furniture stripping company. She was offering to strip and refinish your wood furniture. If you have ever tried to refinished your furniture, you know how valuable her services are. If I had to refinishย the antiqueย table my wife and I own, I would hire a stripper… a furniture stripper!

But all of us have something more important than our furniture, and that is our life. And in the life of every single one of us there are blemishes and defects. We all have areas of our life that need to be refinished, refined, or removed.

So when we pray, “God, make me usable to you! Make me into the kind of person who can do great things for you!” He comes in and begins stripping away everything in your life that holds you back and drags you down. He makes you into something useful and beautiful.

This is the “refiner’s fire” we sometimes sing about, where God burns away the dross to leave behind precious gold, silver, and jewels. This is the purifying fire which Paul writes about in 1 Corinthians 3 where our works are put to the test so that only what is valuable and eternal remains, and the wood, hay, and straw gets burned up.

Such a process is long and painful. It may feel as if God has abandoned or forgotten about you. But when you emerge out the other side, you are beautiful and useful for His purposes.

God strips ugly things out of our life

Have you had the experience of God stripping something away from your life? What did you learn? How did you get through it? Are you glad you went through that experience?ย 

God is Uncategorized Bible & Theology Topics: 1 Corinthians 3, Discipleship, life, purification, refining

Listening to Squirrel Holes

By Jeremy Myers
13 Comments

Listening to Squirrel Holes

SquirrelsFor the past six weeks, I’ve had an all-out war with a family of squirrels. Sometime last fall, or over the winter, they decided to make our home their home.

We certainly enjoy opening our home for guests, but a squirrel family, though cute, are unwelcome guests.

When I first discovered the holes they were chewing through our house, my thought was to get out my gun and shoot them. That’s what I would do if I were still in Montana.

But being in a suburb of Dallas, I thought that the neighbors wouldn’t appreciate me shooting a gun next door, and so went down to Home Depot to get some poison.

As it turns out, it’s illegal to poison squirrels.

Instead, I was supposed to use to a live trap to capture them. So I went to the Animal Shelter to get my trap.

I caught the first squirrel in about two days. I used apples and peanut butter as bait. Then I reset the trap and waited. For a week, I never heard another squirrel, so I figured they left. I returned the trap and got up on our treacherously steep roof to patch the holes, then went into the attic and put screen over the other holes.

The very next day, I heard the squirrels chewing new holes to get out of our house. Since I had closed off their exit doors, they decided to make new ones. So I went back down to the shelter, got the trap again, set it, and caught another squirrel, then waited and waited, and not hearing anything, patched the new holes, and returned the trap.

The very next day, I heard the squirrels chewing new holes to get out of our house. Since I had closed off their exit doors, they decided to make new ones. So I went back down to the shelter, got the trap again, set it, and caught another squirrel, then waited and waited, and not hearing anything, patched the new holes, and returned the trap. (Yes, I meant to repeat the last paragraph. Do you see a pattern here?)

Two days ago, I got up on the roof and through some super-sleuthing, figured out where the nest was, and tore part of the roof off to get at it. I spent an hour or more pulling squirrel nesting out of my roof. In the process I found two dead squrrels. (I didn’t kill them, honest!) Today, I patched that hole in the roof and will return the trap to the Animal Shelter. Tomorrow, I fully expect to hear squirrels chewing holes in my house.

Why am I sharing all this?

I believe that God wants to teach us things through nature. It is, of course, one of the four primary ways God teaches us things (the other three being Scripture, conscience, and other people). These squirrels taught me that when a door is closed, sometimes you just have to chew a new one. If you throw up your hands in defeat and say “God’s not opening any doors for me!” you’ll starve to death.

I’m facing a time in my life right now when all the doors seem closed, and have been wondering why God doesn’t open one for me to walk through. “I’ve got a family to feed!” I tell Him.

But I’m beginning to think that by listening to squirrels chew holes in my house, God is telling me He doesn’t want me to go through any of those doors I’ve been knocking on. Instead, He wants me to chew a new one.

I’m excited to see where I come out, but I hope the owner of the house doesn’t get too mad…

God is Uncategorized Bible & Theology Topics: Discipleship, family, following Jesus, life is hard, walk by faith

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