Discipleship Archives - Page 33 of 167

My wife and I used to wait tables. Our favorite customers were a certain biker gang. They came in every few weeks. They had long scraggly beards, wore leather, and were covered in tattoos. Following the stereotype, they ate a lot of food and drank a lot of beer, laughed, smiled, joked, and had a good time. But they were always respectful to the staff and servers, and they tipped well. Everybody was jealous when this biker gang got sat in some other server’s section.

Our least favorite customers were Christians. Especially the ones carrying their Bibles and wearing Christians t-shirts. When we saw people wearing a Christian t-shirt or praying over their meal, we servers would often try to give the table to someone else. Why? In general, they were among our worst customers. They were often rude, demeaning, condescending, arrogant, impatient, picky about their food, and to top it off, the worst tippers ever.

Obviously, not all Christians are bad customers or terrible tippers. My wife’s parents, for example, always gave good tips and were great customers. I am sure there were others as well. But in general, the more blatant a person was about their Christianity, the less likely they were to be a good customer.

Quite often, instead of a tip, people who wore Christian t-shirts and asked their servers for “prayer requests” would then leave a gospel tract or one of those fake “$1,000,000” bills with the gospel on the back instead of any sort of tip. Sometimes they would write a note on their bill saying, “The information on this pamphlet is more important than any amount of money. I hope you read it. I’m praying for you!”

So I smiled sadly the other day when I saw this image:

Yep, that’s about right… The pastor refuses to leave any sort of tip for the waiter. This pastor is a bad tipper and a bad witness.

Look, if you are going to pray over your meal at a restaurant, wear a Christian t-shirt, carry your Bible, or take up a table for two hours while you have a Bible study during the busiest hours at the restaurant… do Christians everywhere a favor and tip generously. And by generous, I don’t mean 10%. If you are going to do any of these religious things in a restaurant, give at least 20%. Be memorable, not for how little you give, but for how much. Have the servers wanting you to sit in their section, not begging for some other serer to take your table.

And hey, if you don’t want to give 20% (or more), that’s fine! Just don’t wear the t-shirt, carry the Bible, pray over your meal, leave a gospel tract, or do anything else “Christian” at the restaurant. At least then you are not harming the name of Christ by being rude and cheap.

How to Host a Block Party for your Neighbors

By Sam Riviera

2 Comments

Do you want to get to know your neighbors better? Try throwing an end of Summer block party! Here are some suggestions from Sam Riviera about how to do this:

Get Help for Your Block Party

Our street had not had a block party for over twenty years. My wife and I appeared to be the only ones who had an interest in having a party for the entire street (which is one block long). In the past two or three years, however, at least half a dozen of the new families who have moved onto the block expressed an interest in getting to know their neighbors, and thought a block party was a good idea.

My wife and I decided we would organize a Fourth of July block party. When we mentioned our plans to several of our neighbors, two couples offered to help us. Within a few days, additional neighbors began asking questions about the date, time and other details.

We settled on July 3rd for the party. In early June, we handed out “Save the Date” fliers to everyone on the street and to a few people on adjoining streets. The last weekend of June we handed out a second flier that gave additional details, served as reminders and asked those who planned to attend to RSVP so we would know how many supplies, ice cream and so on to buy.

It is near the end of the summer, but you could easily do an end of summer party, or even a Labor Day party over the first weekend in September.

What Time Does The Block Party Start?

We placed several large grills on our front sidewalk, and set up tables, chairs and shade canopies on the yards and driveways of two houses across the street from our house. Lawn chairs were set up on a shaded lawn, and food serving tables were set up under another shade tree. Set-up was scheduled to start at 2:00 and the party at 4:00, with build-your-own ice cream sundaes and brownies at 6:00.

Over a dozen people arrived around 2:00 to help set up, and the party started. Some of the set-up people knew each other and some did not. When the set-up was finished, no one went home, but instead sat in the shade and talked, and more people came when they saw the tents and people. Some people left early and some came late, but the party finally ended at dusk, then continued for several of us in our family room.

Who Is That Person?

In total almost sixty people joined us. No one knew everyone (o.k., my wife and I did, but there was one couple we knew only slightly), but most people knew almost everyone else by the end of the party. (We used name tags on which everyone wrote their first name, then placed the tag on their shirt.) I kept busy making sure that everything was running smoothly, and then kept busy dipping ice cream. Almost every moment I wasn’t working with the food and supplies, people were asking me questions about each other (such as “Which house does that couple over there live in?”)

When Can We Do This Again?

Almost everyone asked if we could do it again. Several people asked if we could do it twice a year. (In later posts, I will give detailed plans for a neighborhood Halloween party that can be held on driveways.) Almost everyone said they were glad to meet neighbors who they had not known or had barely known prior to the party. Many commented that they felt the event was a “real community builder.”

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

I told Jeremy I would report on the good, the bad and the ugly. To the best of our knowledge, there was no bad or ugly. Everyone got along. No one was left out. (My wife and I made sure that new people and shy people were introduced, included and seated with friendly people.) Yes, we do have a person on the street who has offended many neighbors. Several people took me to the side and asked “Was ______ invited?” I replied that (s)he was. They replied “Good!” and indicated that it was too bad the person chose not to attend.

Marshmallow Creme and Maraschino Cherries

After stacks of paper supplies, several gallons of ice cream, and tons of marshmallow creme, maraschino cherries, chocolate toppings and assorted other toppings later, the party is over, but the relationships are deepening for some, improving for others and just getting started for yet others.

Is there a reason we do all this work? Is there a reason to get to know our neighbors and help them to get to know each other? We feel there is, and the next post will give some real life examples from our neighborhood.

Have you ever hosted a block party? Tell us about it in the comments below! If you host a block party at the end of summer or for Labor day, tell us what you did and how it went!

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What is Prayer?

By Jeremy Myers

30 Comments

A reader recently sent in this question:

What is a prayer?

Now that is a concise question! Ha! Of course, it cannot be answered so concisely…but I will try.

What is prayer?

We can always begin by defining prayer according to the standard English, Greek, and Hebrew dictionaries, but I think that the person who asks “What is prayer?” is not so much looking for the dictionary definition of prayer, but rather, how to pray, and how to see answers to prayer.

So in trying to answer the question, “What is prayer?” I think the simplest and most practical answer is best.

You see, most people learn about prayer by listening to others pray, and this often leads to some very bad prayer habits and practices. Most people, when they pray, seem to think that prayer requires a spiritual tone of voice, a new set of words, a sing-songy cadence and rhythm, and maybe even the repetition of certain words or phrases.

So it is not uncommon to hear people pray this way::

Father God in heaven, holy art thou above all things, and thy name, Father God, is worthy to be praised, Father God. Hallelujah! Praise Jeeeezus! Can I hear an Amen?

Oh, Father God, Lord God, Holy Jesus, we come before you today, as your children, Father God, to beseech you with our many needs, Father God. But before we do so, oh Holy Father in Heaven, we ask thee to forgive us for our many sins. We have failed thee in so many ways, Father God, so that as the prophet Isaiah says, all our righteous works are as filthy rags before thee, Father God! And so we thank thee for sending thy holy Son, Jesus Christ, the Lord of the universe and the master of all, the Lamb who was slain before the foundation of the world, to die for our sins on that wretched cross, oh holy Father God, – Hallalejujah! – praise Jesus – so that we might be forgiven of our many trespasses against you, Father God…

And the prayer goes on this way for many minutes. What is prayer? Not this. The person doing the praying will often work himself up into a bit of a frenzy, until he is shouting and shaking, and people who are listening are nodding their heads, shouting “AMEN!” “HALLELUJAH!” “PRAISE JESUS!” and so on.

This may not be your practice in praying, but it is a common practice and illustrates that when it comes to the question of “What is prayer?” we often learn what prayer is not by thinking about prayer or learning from Scripture what prayer is, but rather learning by watching and listening to others pray, and frankly, we learn some very bad practices this way.

Even if you do not pray the way I have written above, listen to yourself pray sometime, and ask yourself, “Where did I learn how to pray this way?” Why am I saying these certain words? Why am I changing my voice? Why am I bowing my head and folding my hands? Why am I closing my eyes? Why do I pray to Jesus, or to the Holy Spirit? Why do I repeat this certain phrase over and over, or use those certain words?

So when it comes to asking, “What is prayer?” I like to tell people that prayer is nothing more than talking to God as you would talk to a spouse or a friend. Of course, although I have said it is “nothing more” than that, prayer is certainly nothing less! Think about it! The fact that we can talk to God as a man would talk to a friend! There is no idea more shocking, more amazing!

People are often jealous that Moses spoke to God as a man speaks to a friend, but the fact of the matter is that Jesus has enabled all people to speak to God in this way! We do not need a priestly mediator, or special words, or a holy language, or a spiritual frenzy in order for God to pay attention to us. All of that is religious prayer, which is not the kind of prayer God wants.

I think sometimes God sighs at our religious prayers. He rolls his eyes as we go on and on and on.

He is always paying attention to us, and is with us throughout the day, going where we go, doing what we do, and hanging out with us as we eat, as we work, as we drive. This means that we can talk to him as a man speaks to a friend.

What is prayer? It is simply telling God what is going on and keeping him the in the loop on your life. Are you angry? Tell God. Are you sad? Let him know! Did you just sin? Yeah, he saw it, and he is not mad about it, but he does want to talk to you about it. Did you see something beautiful or experience something joyful? Thanks him! Are there needs and concerns? Ask him for advice or help.

What is prayer? It is simply talking to God in a normal way, just as we talk to anybody else.

What this means it that if you are asking “What is prayer?” you don’t really need to read books on prayer. You don’t need to be taught how to pray. You don’t need to attend prayer training seminars. You don’t need to learn a prayer language. You don’t need to memorize lots of Scripture in order to pray. If you know how to talk, you can pray! Just imagine God sitting next to you, and talk to him as you would talk to anyone else!

Do you want to pray like never before?

Do you what to talk to God like you talk to a friend? Do you want to see more answers to prayer?

If you have these (and other) questions about prayer, let me send you some teaching and instruction about prayer to your email inbox. You will receive one or two per week, absolutely free. Fill out the form below to get started.

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Loving Neighbors without an Agenda

By Sam Riviera

13 Comments

As we have looked at getting to know our neighbors, building relationships with them and then getting to know them even better and helping them to get to know each other better through group events (Get all these posts in your email inbox by signing up below), perhaps you have wondered why we do this.

Are we networking, finding people who have something we need or who may buy something we’re selling?

Maybe we are building relationships so we can convince people to accept Jesus or attend our church?

Another possibility is that since most people want to live in a friendly neighborhood, maybe we are building relationships with our neighbors to improve the value of our property?

Or are we just looking for friends?

None of these are really our reason.

We try to get to know our neighbors, whether they live on our block, three streets over, in the next neighborhood or across town because as followers of Jesus we try to unconditionally love everyone who crosses our path.

But shouldn’t we try to get our neighbors to attend our church or accept Jesus (or both)?

Hmmm… Consider a parable Jesus told. We usually call it the “Parable of the Good Samaritan,” though it might be better to call it the “Parable of the Beaten Man Lying By the Side of the Road.”

Is the parable about Samaritans, people in need, religious people who are too busy with their religion to help people in need, or what?

Is it possible that one lesson Jesus is teaching us is that our neighbor can be anyone who crosses our path (or whose path we cross)?

Might another lesson be that we should help and love people lavishly, with no expectation of getting anything in return? Could it be that Jesus is teaching us to love other people simply because they are our neighbors?

But how can we love whoever crosses our path, with absolutely no agenda? Is that possible?

It is possible. We think this is what Jesus is talking about in “love your neighbor as yourself” and in the story we call the “Parable of the Good Samaritan.”

But shouldn’t we tell people about Jesus?

We love them first and tell them about Jesus when they ask.

Many do ask, but not all. Most people we know have figured out that we follow Jesus. Sooner or later they ask us about it, when they’re ready to talk about it.

We do not love people so that we can tell them about Jesus. We love them so that they can ask us about Jesus.

And maybe they will not ever ask us about Jesus. That’s okay. We love them still, unconditionally, with no strings attached and no hidden agenda.

My job is to love people like Jesus; God’s job is to draw them to Jesus.

Many years ago a couple we slightly knew invited us to their house for “dessert,” which turned out to be a high pressure sales presentation for a multilevel marketing company. We felt tricked. Even though we have received many subsequent invitations from other people we know for similar presentations (always disguised as something else), we could smell those a long way off, like dead fish, and we have never been “tricked” again.

So it goes with most attempts to “win people to Jesus” (which usually means getting them to attend our church). Most people can smell “fake friendship” a long way off and avoid these people like they avoid dead fish.

Smelling like Jesus, however, smells like loving our neighbor, loving them lavishly for the pure and simple reason that we are the kind of person who does this, loving them with absolutely no agenda attached.

That is a sweet smell, a pleasant aroma, both to our neighbor and to Jesus.

Do you want to win people to Jesus? Simply love them like Jesus, with no agenda whatsoever.

What experiences have you had in loving other people like Jesus? Share an example in the comments below of how you showed lavish love on someone whose path you crossed, with no strings attached.

Do you want to share Jesus with your neighbors?

There's more to it than inviting them to church...

Fill out the form below to receive several emails about how to get to know your neighbors and love them like Jesus.

(Note: If you are a member of RedeemingGod.com, login and then revisit this page to update your membership.)

When you Tell Your Pastor You are Switching Churches

By Jeremy Myers

16 Comments

I discovered this video over at The Christian Monist. It shows what happens when you tell your pastor you are switching churches.

Clearly… if you are switching churches it can only mean that you are a backslider, have fallen away from the faith, are living in sin, and have become carnal.

Switching Churches Video

After you watch it, use the share buttons above to invite your friends to watch it also!

If you go out to eat after church…TIP!

How to Host a Block Party for your Neighbors

Get Help for Your Block Party

What Time Does The Block Party Start?

Who Is That Person?

When Can We Do This Again?

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Marshmallow Creme and Maraschino Cherries

Do you want to share Jesus with your neighbors?

What is Prayer?

What is prayer?

Do you want to pray like never before?

Loving Neighbors without an Agenda

But shouldn’t we try to get our neighbors to attend our church or accept Jesus (or both)?

But shouldn’t we tell people about Jesus?

Do you want to share Jesus with your neighbors?

When you Tell Your Pastor You are Switching Churches

Switching Churches Video

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