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Why Accountability Groups Don’t Work

By Jeremy Myers
63 Comments

Why Accountability Groups Don’t Work

I have never been fond of accountability groups. I have been a part of several over the course of my life as a pastor, church member, and seminary student. I always felt like there was something… manipulative about them.

Accountability Groups I Have Been In

accountability group bondage

Here is my sense of every accountability group I have ever been in: they pretty much only force people to become liars. Oh sure, maybe the specific sin that the group meets together about is discussed and out in the open, but most often, the other sins are kept hidden and safely locked away. Furthermore, what happens most often in accountability groups is that if a person doesn’t want to talk about his sin, all the accountability group does is make him feel more guilty about it, which then makes him fall into the sin even more.

I was in one accountability group where we were dealing with issues of sexual temptation. The group lasted about two years, and we all did pretty good admitting our failures and praying for and encouraging one another. The group fell apart when one of the members got arrested and sent to prison for molesting a young girl. In the two years we met, he never said a word about any such struggle, temptation, or risk he was facing in this area. Not one word.

I was part of a different group a while back, and I recently learned that one of the men in the group is facing the possibility of divorce because of an addiction to pornography which he hid all those years.

I am not judging or condemning these men. What I am saying is that accountability groups don’t “work.” Some people will swear that accountability groups do work, and that every person should be part of one, but I’m just not so sure….

While counseling and accountability groups might be temporarily helpful for some, they do not result in lasting success for the vast majority of people who participate in them.

What Accountability Groups Focus On

Accountability groups usually focus on guilt and peer pressure to modify behavior. There are other behavioral management techniques that are sometimes used as well, but for the most part, there is very little about an accountability group that is overtly “Christians.” Oh sure, the accountability group might pray and talk about the Bible, but in general, there is very little difference between a Christian accountability group and any other form of behavioral management group. And usually what is discovered in these groups is that even IF a person is able to modify one behavior or overcome one addiction, they often fall into some other sort of destructive behavior or addiction, which often makes their overall condition worse than it was before.

[Read more…]

God is Uncategorized Bible & Theology Topics: accountability group, Discipleship, flesh, law, love of God, Romans 8, sin, victory over sin

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Gay Marriage, the Sanctity of Marriage, and the State

By Jeremy Myers
23 Comments

Gay Marriage, the Sanctity of Marriage, and the State

David Dunn recently wrote an incredibly insightful post about gay marriage and how many Christians are calling on the government to help us protect the “sanctity of marriage.” He says in his article that doing is basically making an idol of the state. I couldn’t agree more! Here is an excerpt from the article he wrote:

Gay Marriage

New York’s recent legalization of gay marriage is being hailed by many as a watershed moment in the history of the fight for equal rights for same sex couples. Whatever the long-term consequences of this decision may be, chances are, in the near term, it will be met with increased opposition from Christian conservatives. Their efforts, which reveal a fundamental misunderstanding of the nature of marriage, are misguided at best and sinful at worst. There will always be Christians who oppose “homosexuality” on moral grounds, but enlisting the state to protect “the sanctity of marriage” is a mistake. Such efforts demonstrate a fundamental – even idolatrous – misunderstanding of the meaning of “holy matrimony,” effectively denying Christ by vesting the state with divine authority.

California’s infamous Proposition 8 and similar measures sure to make it onto the ballots during next year’s election fall prey to the so-called Constantinian temptation. When Constantine legalized Christianity in the early fourth century, some began to see an almost godlike authority in the state. An increasing number of Christians found it difficult to tell the difference between the things that belong to Caesar and the things that belong to God.

Yet, despite their confusion, those earlier Christians generally knew there was a difference between God and the state, even if they could not always tell where it was. Our sin is worse. Today’s Christian conservatives seem to be worshiping America, or at least a certain idea of it, when they ask the government to protect the “sanctity” of marriage. In doing this, they have vested the state with the power to sanctify.

[Read more…]

God is Uncategorized Bible & Theology Topics: Discipleship, gay marriage, homosexuality, idolatry, sacraments, sanctity of marriage, Theology of the Church

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Do Not Worry in Context

By Jeremy Myers
8 Comments

Do Not Worry in Context

Randall BurgessThis is a guest post from Randall Burgess on how to understand Scripture in context. He uses the specific example of Matthew 6:25 where Jesus says “Do not worry.”

Randall works as a consultant and writer in the field of anti-counterfeiting and product security and writes regularly for the industry publication Authentication News®. He is the author of Food in God’s Place, a dialogue between a young woman and Jesus about prayer and fasting in context of discipleship.

Married for almost 24 years, he has three teenage daughters. He leads small groups and writes the blog, Food in Gods Place. You can also connect with him on Twitter.

If you would like to write a Guest Post for the Till He Comes Blog, begin by reading the Guest Blogger Guidelines.

One of the primary keys to Bible study is context.

Do not worryWhile it is helpful to memorize scriptural passages to discipline our mind, to have encouraging things to remember, and to have passages to meditate upon when we prepare to pray, it is also important to be aware of and understand the context from which the passage comes.

While there are a variety of contextual issues to keep in mind, one of the more basic types of context is the sequence of the passage we are studying. There are sometimes important sequences that we must be mindful of to avoid attempting to apply a scripture out of context and avoid spiritual frustration.

An Example: “Do Not Worry”

Many Christians love the “Do not worry” section of Matthew 6:25-33. Some read it everyday. Sadly, many do not benefit from the peace the passage offers because they fail to embrace the choices emphasized in the preceding passages.

This passage is preceded by the choice of who you will serve or where your treasure will be. That is preceded by the discussion on fasting which is preceded by prayer. In other words, the sequence of Jesus’ instruction is this:

Prayer + Fasting + Choosing God only (or embracing dependence on him) = Freedom from worry.

Without the sequence, there is no freedom from worry. Many try to not worry but still want to think about possessions, money, clothes, food, etc. The focus must be on depending on God if you want to be free from worry. It is not possible simply to “not worry.” Something (actually, Someone) must fill that place and replace the worry.

[Read more…]

God is Uncategorized Bible & Theology Topics: Bible study, context, Discipleship, do not worry, guest post, Jesus, Matthew 6, sermon on the mount

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The Tribe and the Church

By Jeremy Myers
5 Comments

The Tribe and the Church

This post is written by Sam Riviera, a frequent contributor to this blog.


the tribe and the churchThe adults of the village filed into the community meeting house and found their usual seating locations, which identified their rank within the tribe. Everyone was dressed in accordance with the customary dress for such occasions.

Music began. The crowd swayed and chanted with the music. Everyone knew the music and the words. Containers of drink were passed from person to person and everyone drank a few sips.

An elder stood and spoke. Everyone respectfully listened. The tribal meeting concluded with more music.

Though this description sounds like something that only happens in a Native American ceremony or in an Indonesian jungle, the description above actually describes what happens in countless churches around the world every Sunday morning.

But is this wrong?

Our Tribal Urge

We all have a tribal urge. A tribe is group where one can belong and others are excluded; the place where one knows their place and exactly what is expected of them.

A tribe consists of people who will be there in one’s time of need; the people who will not allow one to die alone.

This all sounds fine, but why do we want to belong to a tribe? Are there advantages? Are there disadvantages? Can the tribal urge find fulfillment in Christ? Can it find fulfillment in the church?

Or does the tribal urge conflict with Jesus’ command to love our neighbors as ourselves?

The Russian thinker Peter Kropotkin, in his book Mutual Aid: A Factor of Evolution suggested that survival is the result of cooperation of people together against the environment. Each person benefits from the things others contribute and share. Can this best be accomplished within the tribe or within society at large?

Do we form tribes for the purpose of surviving in a harsh environment, or as an attempt to group with others similar to ourselves and to exclude all others? Is the tribe an effort to meet our own needs, to the exclusion of the needs of others?

[Read more…]

God is Uncategorized Bible & Theology Topics: church, church service, Discipleship, guest post, Sam Riviera, Theology of the Church, tribal church, tribal urge, tribalism

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You’re Disgusting! Burn in Hell!

By Jeremy Myers
16 Comments

You’re Disgusting! Burn in Hell!

This post is written by Sam Riviera, a frequent contributor to this blog.


You’re disgusting! Burn in hell!

burn in hellHow would you like it if someone said that to you? You probably wouldn’t like it.

Do we have the right to tell anyone that they should burn in hell? Do we have the right to say it to people who march in Gay Pride parades? To women who have had an abortion? To prostitutes? To child molesters? To murderers?

Especially when we realize that, in the minds of most, “hell” is a place where people get tortured and tormented for all eternity. Telling someone they should burn in hell is announcing your desire that they suffer in agonizing pain forever and ever. Is telling someone they should burn in hell really Christlike love?

Maybe people who say such a thing should be arrested, as Bill O’Reilly, Fox news host, suggested on his show.

What would you do if someone got in your face about something they didn’t like about you, about who you are, what you believe, what you have done, or how you live, and told you that you will burn in hell for those things? Is telling someone to burn in hell commendable Christian behavior or condemnable Christian behavior?

Love in the Margins

All of my life I’ve had friends who many have considered on the margins, the outer edges of society – LGBTs, homeless, prostitutes, addicts, murderers and other criminals, and you-name-it. I love these people. I mingle with them. I talk with them. I hug them. I walk arm-in-arm with them.

[Read more…]

God is Uncategorized Bible & Theology Topics: burn in hell, Discipleship, gay, guest post, hate, Jesus, lgbt, prostitute, sinners

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