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The Refuge in Denver

By Jeremy Myers
20 Comments

The Refuge in Denver

the refuge communityIn a previous post, I mentioned that I visited The Refuge in Denver, CO. They describe it as a home for spiritual orphans, a place to gather hope.

Here is some of what I learned about “how” they do things at The Refuge. I don’t share this with you so you can copy it in your context, but simply to show you what others are doing around the country.

Main Meeting

Their “main meeting” is on Saturday night at a grange hall which they rent. The building is rather run down, but that is okay with everyone, since following Jesus isn’t about having nice buildings.

Since I was not able to attend one of their main meetings, I asked what they were like. Everybody told me that they were never the same. Sometimes they sat in rows. Sometimes in chairs around tables. Sometimes they sang songs, but not always. Sometimes there was a sermon, other times a group discussion.

One thing they do every meeting is communion. But even this is out of the ordinary. Those who come take turns providing the “elements.” In most churches, the elements consist of grape juice (or wine) and an unleavened wafer. But at the Refuge, the elements can be anything. They have used coffee and donuts,coke and pretzels, chips and salsa, and milk and brownies.

Frequently, after the meeting, many of the people get together for a meal, but I didn’t get any details on how this works.

Weekday Houses of Refuge

They currently have two Houses of Refuge, which function like a house church.

Kind of…

They meet in a home, and consist of a meal and some sort of group activity or discussion. The night I was there, we had lasagna. There was also coffee and dessert.

After about an hour of eating and chatting, we moved to the living room and sat on couches where we introduced ourselves (for the several new people that were there), and then discussed that the way of following Jesus was not upward mobility, but downward mobility, into the muck and messiness of life.

The discussion was facilitated by Kathy Escobar, but she is not always the facilitator. As with most everything else at the Refuge, leadership is shared. I was told that they often pick a theme to discuss, and then take turns over the next several weeks or months leading the discussions.

Near the end of the discussion, Kathy also passed around a sign-up sheet for people to bring food for the future gatherings.

Leadership at The Refuge

Currently, there are four co-pastors at The Refuge. They do not believe that there should ever be a single “senior pastor.” These four co-pastors do receive a tiny, tiny income, but nothing that anyone could live off of. I don’t know amounts, but I doubt it comes to much more than an average honorarium.

And the co-pastors are not “pastors” in the way most churches think of them. They seem to be closer to organizers or administrators of the church. When someone has a need, rather than call around asking everyone for it, they call a pastor, and the pastor organizes a way to help meet that need. Certainly, they also provide vision and spiritual direction to the church, but they are not the only ones who speak, or do ministry in the church.

Ministry at The Refuge

Many of the people I talked to spoke of the community they have fond at The Refuge. Most have never experienced any sort of community like what they have found here. I saw this first hand and sensed it as I watched them interact. In many ways, they are family. They are not perfect, but love each other anyway. They laugh together, cry together, and live life together.

As such, this is their ministry, and it is a compelling ministry for those who see it. I know I was drawn to it.

They also provide opportunities to reach out with love to other hurting people in the wider community. I heard some people talk about a service opportunity in a low-income apartment complex, and a few other things, but ultimately, their ministry seems to be each other.

When you are real with each other, as the people of The Refuge seem to be, this ministry is more than enough, and also draws other people in who are longing for communal love like this.

What do you think about all of this? Is it still too “churchy” for you? Are they not “churchy” enough? What do you think about how they have communion and co-pastors? Are there any other questions you might have? 

God is Uncategorized Bible & Theology Topics: Church planting, Kathy Escobar, ministry, mission, The Refuge, Theology of the Church

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The Refuge in Denver

By Jeremy Myers
7 Comments

The Refuge in Denver
House of Refuge in Denver
The House of Refuge occasionally offers dinners to the community.

I got to hang out at a The Refuge last week in Denver, CO. It consists of people who gather together to live life, and help each other through the messiness and pain of life.

The night I was there, some people from The Refuge met at the house of Jose and Kathy Escobar. After eating a meal, we sat around the living room and talked. The topic for the night was that most of us try to improve ourselves by climbing the moral ladder, but to really experience community with God and each other, we need to climb down the ladder back into the failures and stinkiness of life. The mess of life is where God meets us, where we meet ourselves, and where life really begins.

Kathy recently wrote a book about this, which explains what it means to follow Jesus on the downward path into pain, doubt, and darkness. Her book is titled, Down we Go, and I recommend you read it.

One of the amazing things for me about the group is not just the fact that people were there from a variety of backgrounds and beliefs, but that some of the people had moved from other parts of the country just to participate in a community like this.

People are starving for community, and it is not often found in the traditional church setting. There are most likely people who hunger and thirst for relationships right in your own neighborhood. This is one of the reasons it is so important to get to know our neighbors (as Sam Riviera has been pointing out — and who previously wrote about The Refuge).

We are trying to do this sort of thing in the neighborhood we recently moved into, and hopefully, as we get to know our neighbors, we can build relationships with them that will allow us to help them (and be helped) through the messiness and stinkiness of life.

God is Uncategorized Bible & Theology Topics: Kathy Escobar, life, ministry, mission, The Refuge, Theology of the Church

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Finding Jesus in Denver

By Jeremy Myers
4 Comments

Finding Jesus in Denver

This post is part of Sam Riviera’s series on being the church in our community. See the bottom of this post for more posts on how you can be the church to others by living like Jesus among them.


love others like JesusRecently I traveled to Denver to visit The Refuge, a beautiful eclectic faith community, co-pastored by our friend Kathy Escobar. I spent part of a couple of afternoons with Kathy while she showed Jesus’ love to people, and one evening at her home as part of the group that meets there on Wednesday evenings.

Following a potluck meal, the group gathered for a discussion led by Kathy.

During my time with Kathy and The Refuge, I noticed several things that they put into practice which helps them be the church in their community, and reveal Jesus to a dying world.

Everyone Is Welcome

The group welcomes everyone. Really, everyone is welcome, regardless of their situation in life. There is no expectation that anyone meet any requirement to be part of the group.

Everyone Is Valued

Unlike so many “churches”, all are equally valued. Everyone’s comment, everyone’s observation is treated with equal value. I saw no one being treated with preference. If this group has an “insider’s group”, I could not detect it at any point during the evening. There were no “fringe” people. No one was passed over. No one was ignored.

Everyone Is Loved

Regardless of economic status, religious background or lack of it, history, current life situation, marital status, and you-name-it, everyone is loved. Everyone fits in. Everyone is included.

When one person mentioned an unkind comment that someone had made about the group, no one got upset. After the group discussion, I heard that comment mentioned again and someone added that the person who made the comment did not find what they were looking for at The Refuge. I felt no condemnation, only love, even for the person who had been unkind.

The Arms of Jesus

Have we ever thought that we would like to meet the earthly Jesus in person? When life stinks, wouldn’t it be nice if Jesus could show up in person and give us a big hug, with arms that we could feel wrapped around us?

Jesus does still show up in person with arms to wrap around the lonely, the brokenhearted, the angry, the sick, those struggling with addictions, those who need a helping hand, those who need someone to listen. Sometimes when Jesus shows up in Denver Jesus looks like The Refuge.

Be the Church in Your Community

Be the ChurchWant to be the church in your community but don't know? Here are some posts which not only explain what it means to be the church in your community, but also gives concrete, practical examples of what it looks like and how to be the church whatever you do and wherever you go. Remember, you ARE the church, and wherever you go, Jesus goes with you!
  • How to Be the Church in Your Community
  • The Tribe and the Church
  • Church Tribes vs. the Jesus Tribe
  • How to Preach the Gospel to your Neighbors
  • Being the Church is Loving the Person in Front of You
  • 4 Practical Suggestions for Being the Church in your Community
  • Love Like Jesus by Listening to People
  • Welcome New People to the Community
  • Finding Jesus in Denver
  • Loving Others at Walmart
If you have questions about how to be the church in your community, please let us know in the comment sections below, and we will try to write a post which answers your question.

God is Uncategorized Bible & Theology Topics: be the church, Discipleship, Kathy Escobar, love like Jesus, love others, Sam Riviera, The Refuge

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