Liberating you from bad ideas about God
Ever wonder what a woman can get for a man on Valentine’s Day? The stores are full of things men can get a woman…chocolate, flowers, cards, jewelry…but there is nothing to get for a man. My wife says this is because Valentine’s Day is more for a woman than for a man. Of course, that’s because what a man wants can’t be sold in a store…but that’s all I’ll say about that.
Anyway, if you ladies really want to get a gift for your man, let me suggest the following:
I recently heard (#AmazonAdLink) Bob Roberts make the following shocking statement:
“I think all Christians need to pray less. Instead, we need to just shut up and play ball.”
At first, I was shocked, because we so often hear that we need to pray more, and that the kingdom of God advances on our knees.
But then I got to thinking about it. I think that many of us substitute prayer for obedience. We need to pray less and obey more.
Pray vs. Obey?We know what God wants us to do, but instead of obeying, we pray about it.
Every single one of knows that we are supposed to show love to our friends, coworkers, family members, and neighbors. But instead of actually doing that, most of us pray about it instead.
We say: “Dear God, please help my neighbor with his marital problems. Please help my coworker with her troubled kids. I’ve been praying so long for my father, God. Please do something.”
Does that prayer sound familiar?
Listen to the prayer time in your church this Sunday, or in the Bible Study you attend. I guarantee that in most of these prayer times, someone will pray that God will help the people in your community with their problems and struggles.
Then ask yourself, “What are we as a church, what am I as a Christian, actually doing about these needs ourselves?”
When we pray to God to help others, it is possible that God is “praying” for us to go help others?
How about when someone is hurting, or sick, or in financial need? Do you pray about it, or do you actually help them? What do you think God wants you to do?
I am constantly haunted by a conversation I witnessed about five years ago between a father and his son. (The father was a pastor, by the way.) I was working at a Bible camp, and we needed some staff for the following week. The son asked the father if he could stay and help out. The father answered, “I’ll pray about it” and walked away.
The son turned to me and said, “That means ‘No.'”
The son had his dad figured out. His dad was using prayer (and God) as a way to spiritualize his own decisions to not grant his son’s requests.
I wonder how often we treat the commands of God this way? Instead of just telling God “No” we tell him “I’ll pray about it.” Prayer, when used in such a way, is a spiritual way of stalling so we don’t have to obey God.
The next time you catch yourself saying (or writing) to someone, “I’ll pray for you” stop and ask yourself if there is something you can actually do for the person instead.
Do you what to talk to God like you talk to a friend? Do you want to see more answers to prayer?
If you have these (and other) questions about prayer, let me send you some teaching and instruction about prayer to your email inbox. You will receive one or two per week, absolutely free. Fill out the form below to get started.
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Previously I suggested that we stop talking about grace and start living grace.
I am by no means an expert on how to live a life of grace. Up until a few months ago, the entire focus of my life was to read, write, study, teach, and talk about grace. But despite all this study and reading, I did a very poor job living grace.
Yesterday, I suggested that the more a person talks and writes and proclaims grace, the less they seem to live it. That’s just my experience.
(So, with that being said, let me talk and write some more about grace! Ha!)
Here is how I am trying to learn to live a life of grace.
First, I started trying to figure out which sort of people were most often criticized, judged, and condemned by the churches, Christians, radio shows, books, and articles I interact with. These people made my mental “grace list.”
Second, I started praying to see these people as Jesus sees them, and to give me opportunities to get to know them. I suspected that it is much easier to judge a person’s bad theology or bad behavior if I don’t actually know them.
Finally, I began to actively seek out these people to get to know them and befriend them. I set up appointments. I scheduled lunch meetings. I applied for jobs with them so I could work with them and help them. I read their blogs, and interact with them by e-mail (all in a kind, gracious manner!).
Let me give you some examples of people you could try to develop relationships with: atheists, abortion doctors, homosexuals, pornographers, strippers, prostitutes, drug addicts, alcoholics, people who have different theological views than you do, people with different political views, etc.
There are dozens more. 
And by the way, if you are going to try to develop friendships with people who are different than you, don’t focus on the things that separate you. Your friendship will last about two seconds if you do that. Just try to get to know them as a person.
Focus on the things you have in common. Try to find out everything you can about them, and who they are. Learn about their dreams, desires, and goals in life. Ask if there is any way you can help them or be of service to them.
The only way to truly teach grace is to engage in living grace among other people.
How are you doing this in your own life?
I had a discussion today with a guy that most Christians love to hate. This man used to be a Christian, but rejected it all about twenty years ago, and now lives as a pot-smoking, cursing, swinging spiritist.
Yet as I talked to him, I found myself thoroughly enjoying the conversation… more than any theological or biblical conversation I have had in the last several years. It was one of the most refreshing and eye-opening discussions I have ever had.
It wasn’t refreshing and eye-opening because of anything I learned from him, but because it gave me a new appreciation into how many Christians treat non-Christians, compared to how many non-Christians treat Christians in return.
He told me about some of the criticism he gets from Christians, and how he just tries to respond with kindness and love. Isn’t it strange that many Christians, who are supposed to be known for our love, really only have love for each other, whereas everyone outside our “group” gets condemned and criticized for their beliefs and behavior?
I have noticed this sort of behavior on many fronts.
I have noticed this not just in my interactions with people at work and with my neighbors, but also online and in movies. As an example, did you see the movie God’s Not Dead? In it, a Christian university student is challenged by an atheist professor to defend his evangelical beliefs.
I found it strange that in the movie, the meanest and rudest people were the atheists. Also, the “token” Muslim family had a father who beat his daughter.
This is the sort of way Christians often portray non-Christians to one-another, which only goes to show that many Christians have absolutely no idea what most atheists and Muslims are like.
The people that Christians most loudly denounce are often some of the most gracious people to be around.
Doesn’t that seem strange?
Those of us who are saved by grace, teach grace, write about grace, proclaim grace, and have “grace” in the names of our churches and ministries, are some of the least gracious people that exist.
Which got me thinking… just like the preacher pounds the pulpit during his weakest points, maybe those who talk loudest about grace are trying to compensate for a lifestyle that lacks grace.
Maybe those of us who talk and write a lot about grace should follow the example of non-believers (and Jesus) and start living grace before we ever start to talk about grace with others.
Besides, living out grace is a better way to teach grace any day.
My wife was on the phone tonight with another church planting wife. I overheard some of her discussion, and wow! did I ever marry the right woman!
Actually, I got a little humbled. She should be the one planting a church. Of course, since church planting is a family thing, she is. But still, I found myself thinking, “Where did she learn all this? I’m the one who has read all the books and gone to all the conferences, but she’s the one who can put words to what we want to do and how we want to do it.” I’m kicking myself for not recording her conversation.
So if you ever have questions about our church planting process, direct them to my wife!
Oh, and she’s beautiful too, isn’t she?
A while back I attending Northwood’s Glocal.net Turbo training conference.
When it comes to church planting, I think Bob Roberts has one of the most profound and yet simple approaches to church planting that exists. Every pastor and church planter should read his books Glocalization and Transformation.
Also, he has a new book out called The Multiplying Church, which I haven’t read yet, but should be good.
There were so many things that were said in his training which encouraged and challenged me, I cannot relate them all. However, the one that struck me the most was that Bob believes that postmodernism is a thing of the past, and that it was a blip on the screen compared to what is coming…and the church had better be ready.
I think he is so right about this. Many ineffective churches, ministries, and Christians will still be writing and speaking against the “evils” of postmodernism for another 20-30 years. Meanwhile, the culture has moved on.
But this is just business as usual with the average church. Churches generally run about 30-40 years behind the culture. And when the church finally crafts a good response to what the culture is going through (whether a church embraces the changes or decry them), the culture isn’t listening anymore, because it is on to something else.
Those who will shape the church of the future will recognize that postmodernism is a dead issue now, and the culture has shifted toward something else. What this “something else” is has yet to be determined. But some of us can see it, sense it, and hear it in the people we interact with. And I agree with Bob Roberts: whatever is coming, it will be the biggest thing to happen to the church since the day of Pentecost. Such change will lead to both the death and the resurrection of the church as we know it.
The way things are today — even in the most innovative and effective churches — is not the way things will be twenty years from now. Will you and your church be ready?
I have certain Bible teachers that I listen to all the time, some for the content, some for their style and delivery. Recently, I found one who has it all. His sermon is 27 minutes long, and is on YouTube for you to view.
After watching this video, you will see that Seminary was a complete waste of time. If you want to preach, all you need to remember is these seven things:
If you ever wonder why many people think church is just a religious circus, it because of preachers like this.
I shouldn’t be too hard on the guy though… It’s his first time preaching after all…
My first sermon was terrible as well. It was awful. I was about 14 and I preached to a group of inmates at the Montana State Prison. I remember thinking afterwards, “Let me out of here before they kill me!” I don’t remember what I said, but it was so bad, no one even tried to tell me “Good sermon” afterwards.
Check out the videos over at the blog of Mike Ellis and the other church for men dudes. I was going to post these videos myself, but just go watch them at Mike’s blog.
By the way, they are doing an awesome job there in Florida. I check out that blog every day. I think there needs to be a Church for Men in every community in the country since men are one of the largest “unreached people groups” that exists. Maybe they’re just neglected. Either way, look around your church this Sunday, and ask yourself, “Where are all the men?” I know that in the church I preach at, less than 20% are men. I’m trying to do some things to change that and I’m seeing some more men start to come, but as we all know, change is a slow process. Besides, I don’t have any real authority there…I’m just there for pulpit supply (How’s that for a convenient excuse?).
Hopefully, as I head toward church planting (see my two previous posts), at least one of the churches I plant will be a Church for Men. Thanks, Mike (and Louie and Frank) for leading the way!
P.S., check out www.churchformen.com for more on this. And while you’re at that site, buy David Murrow’s book and read it. I’ve also noticed a new church for men has started up here in Dallas. I need to go check it out.
Below is a post from Gary Lamb (which is no longer available on his site). Lots of people see glory in church planting, but what most don’t realize is that to plant in such a way that genuinely reaches lost people, there’s more gore than glory.
Here is what Gary wrote about that:
Every church planter I meet says they are starting their church to reach those that are disconnected from God. Many of them grew up in church, became Christians at a early age, and don’t even have a relationship with someone far from God, but they are going to reach those far from God. I listen to a lot of podcasts, watch a lot of videos from other churches, and it breaks my heart to know they are doing a lot of things and a lot of things well, but reaching those far from God is NOT one of them.
I have learned that most church planters REALLY don’t want to reach those far from God, they really want to do church in a cool way. There is a difference. Just because you have great video, loud music, dress casual, and use movie clips doesn’t mean you are reaching those far from God.
I honestly believe most planters would freak out if they started having to deal with the issues that come from reaching truly unchurched people. It is messy, ugly, scary, and actually can keep you from growing because it scares the hell out of those who grew up in church.
We had a person on our staff a couple of years ago who came here because he wanted to be part of a church that reached unchurched people. The first time his wife sat next to a couple of lesbians, he was rethinking that. This guy was a nice guy, but he couldn’t handle the ugliness that comes with reaching those that are far from God. He literally walked around the church on Sundays with a look of terror in his eyes. He didn’t want to reach lost people, he wanted a church where he could come and wear whatever he wanted and impress other Christians because he was at an church with a little edge. It wasn’t long before he was running for the hills. He couldn’t handle the messiness of reaching those with problems. The sad thing is he isn’t alone. Most guys can’t handle it.
When I say it is messy, I don’t think most guys understand what I mean, so allow me to walk you through my week that just got done. This is a pretty typical week at Revolution and the side 99% never see.
- I have a bottle of pain pills worth about $400 on the streets sitting in my desk that one of our people’s spouse brought me after finding them. The name on the prescription isn’t the name of the person who brought them because they were bought on the street.
- I had another one of our people lose their job for stealing thousands of dollars from the company they work for.
- I have a addict in our church who has relapsed and in the process is about to lose EVERYTHING and he doesn’t even know it.
- I set up an intervention for an addict that will take place this week. This is his last chance and he doesn’t even know it.
- Last night I was at the ER until 3 in the morning because one of our people took a razor blade and slit both his wrists, his neck, and took around 80 sleeping pills. He’s alive, but I have to say it was the most horrific thing I have ever seen in my life.
All of that was just from this week. That is the life of reaching those disconnected from God. None of those people care how “cool” our church will be tomorrow. All they care about is we have created a place where they can come with all their crap and feel loved and connected.
I’ll be honest and tell you that there are times when pastoring Revolution freaks me out. There are times when I think it would be easier to do what most guys do and plant a church that really is a place for other Christians to come hang out and talk about how we are reaching unchurched people instead of doing it. I think that would be easier, but we would not be charging the gates of hell with that mindset. There are enough guys around doing that and doing it well.
Canton didn’t need another church. Canton didn’t need another church with loud music, casual dress, and “relevant” teaching. Neither do most of the towns where guys are planting. However, Canton did need a place that was loving the unlovable. It needed a place that was willing to get it’s hands dirty and deal with the messy crap that takes place in the lives of those far from God.
When a guy wants to tell me they are starting a church to reach the disconnected, I always ask them if they are sure they want to do that. I don’t think they understand the cost that comes with it. It literally can almost kill you at times.
BUT, if they do understand the cost, they will realize it is nothing compared to the reward of seeing lives changed with the gospel of Jesus Christ. It is worth whatever cost there is. I would put everything on the line to continue to do what we do because the payoff is so huge.
Most guys won’t.
end rant.
Thanks Gary, for laying it out for us!
2013 UPDATE: I am not a fan of church planting any longer. I now believe that we don’t plant churches, we simply be the church by loving others whom God places in our life. Simple. Easy. Natural. …And it looks like Jesus.
When I tell people I am going into church planting, the most common reaction I get from people is, “Why? Don’t we already have enough churches? Why can’t you just pastor an established church?”
The truth is that I don’t care as much about planting churches as I do about helping people come into a deep and vibrant relationship with Jesus Christ. Here is a video that explains more: (Wait for a few seconds after you press play….)
If this sounds more like missions, that’s because church planting IS missions. Church planting is state-side missions.
So when people ask me why I’m going into church planting, I think I’m going to start saying, “I’m not. I’m going into missions.”
2013 UPDATE: I am no longer in “church planting” but I am still in “missions.” I have had some changes in my theology regarding church, and I now believe that we don’t plant churches or go to church, but we ARE the church by loving the people around us whom God brings into our lives. It is simple, easy, and looks like Jesus.
