In a previous post, I wrote that suicide is not the unforgivable sin.
In the past when I have taught this in various churches and conferences, I have been warned afterwards that I should not teach such things. Why not? Because even if it is true, I am told, such a teaching will encourage people to commit suicide.
Apparently, some people fear that if we teach that people can go to heaven even if they commit suicide, those who are thinking about suicide will be more likely to go through with it. It is better, they say, to teach that suicide is unforgivable because this idea will hopefully keep people from committing suicide.
I strongly disagree.
We should never use a lie to encourage people to do what is right.
Nor should we use fear as a basis for obedience.
If God is any guide, truth and love always provide the best motivations for obedience.
The truth, if properly taught with love, encourages right living and behavior. This also goes for the truth that suicide is forgivable.
The Truth Prevents Suicide
When a person is contemplating suicide, there are numerous things going on in their minds and lives which lead them to think that taking their life is the best solution to their problems.
They may be dealing with deep depression, or feeling that nobody loves them, or that their best years in life are behind them, or that every day is worse than the one before and it would be better to just end it all right now before things get even worse.
I have dealt with suicidal depression in the past, and these are some of the things I thought and felt.
One thing that helps people overcome suicidal depression and anxiety is the knowledge that they are loved, needed, and wanted. People struggling with suicidal thoughts need to know that there is hope for their future, that life will get better and is worth living.
While there are numerous possible sources for such love and hope, the greatest source of all is God.
God loves us more than we can possibly know, and He has plans for our life and our future that are far beyond anything we can ask or imagine. He has a grand purpose for each one of us in life, and this purpose never includes ending our life through suicide. He has a goal and purpose for our lives on earth, and if we commit suicide, we will miss out on fulfilling His perfect plan for us.
This is the truth presented in Scripture, and this is the view of God which will help people work through their depression and anxiety about life without giving in to suicide.
Lies Do Not Prevent Suicide
But when we tell people that God will not forgive them if they commit suicide, we are giving them a terribly dangerous and destructive picture of God.
By teaching people that God does not forgive suicide, we are teaching them that God only loves and forgives them as long as they do not sin. But as soon as they do sin, they must go begging to God for forgiveness, and if they fail to ask for forgiveness, He will send them to hell for eternity.
Such an idea is more likely to create and amplify suicidal depression than help it! Which is more likely to help a person out of suicidal depression: The idea that God loves you and is on your side no matter what … or the idea that God might love you, but only if you can obey Him completely and hold your life together as He demands?
I submit to you that it is only the first portrayal of God, the God of unconditional love and forgiveness, which helps people through the deep sadness, the great despair, the black hunger, the dark night of the soul, and the feeling that nobody loves, nobody cares, and nobody wants you around.
The second portrayal of god, the god who only loves the obedient and only cares for those who don’t make mistakes, is a petulant god, like a spoiled child who wants everything to go his way all the time, or he won’t play. This is a power-hungry god, who wants to keep people squirming under his ever-watchful eye as he waits for them to mess up so he can pounce on sinners and condemn them to everlasting hell.
This second view of God confirms to people their deepest, darkest suspicion: God hates them.
And if God hates them, it is no wonder that other people hate them also, and they might as well hate themselves.
Do you see how lying about the complete love and forgiveness of God for those who commit suicide does not actually keep people from committing suicide, but will only make them more likely to take their own life?
Give Hope and Love to Prevent Suicide
If we really want to help people through suicidal depression, they need to know the truth about God and how much He loves them and forgives them … no matter what.
When people are dealing with deep depression, the anxieties of life, ruined relationships, lost jobs, the death of a child or spouse, or ongoing health problems, the last thing they need is the idea that God hates them.
How much better it is to know that even though they are going through some of the worst things that can be experienced in life, God still loves them, and is still with them, and will continue to be by their side for the rest of their life and for eternity—no matter what?
The view of God as an ever-loving friend who is on your side no matter what does not encourage people to commit suicide, but rather encourages people to have hope for the future and to believe that there is a purpose in life for them.
So teach people that suicide is forgivable, not just because this is true, but because this it tells others what kind of God we serve.
God is a loving and compassionate God, full of understanding in our times of weakness, tenderness in our times of pain, and present with us in times of abandonment.
The knowledge that God forgives suicide does not encourage people to commit suicide, but helps keep them from it.
Do you fear that you have committed the Unforgivable Sin?
Fear not! You are forgiven. You are loved.
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I think about death and suicide at least two or three times a month…I’ve learned to live with the depression and those thoughts…and keep pressing through.
The Lord took away my deppression when I chose to trust and follow Him.
Actually, after I started to follow Him wholeheartedly, things got worse….because I saw things….prophetic visions…consider my sorrow like that of the prophet Jeremiah who wrote Lamentations.
I guess we have different definitions for ‘depression’. I still feel sorrow overthe direction the world is going and over things in my life. The difference is that the sorrow is no longer ‘hard wired’ into me.
I think more people struggle with deep depression than we ever imagine. I wish we all could be more open and honest about this… but one problem with depression is that talking about it with others is often depressing… Sigh.
My Father took his life. As well .. he never talked about his depression. But there were signs, subtle … my mother recalled.
I concur with Ransom, sometimes it feels like going from the frying pan into the fire, and fist bump to Vaughn (real men don’t do hugs
I sure do like hugs… though…
Physical affection is a lost art. These day any man who enjoys hugging is at risk of being called gay. :/
so true and depending on the who your with, one can be self concious of that. When with Christian brothers or for the most part family is ok but when in public.. yeah. but I have really gotten where I don’t care. If I get miss labeled in public, oh well. I make it a point for the last few years to give good friends first a handshake and then a hug but I keep my hand shaking the fellow. But good friends is a full on hug. and it is good stuff too. almost like tears for some. I guess my mother was a real hugger. Dad not so much hardly.
I wish for true concern in heartfelt hugs and com fort from life’s tragides.
i am from india and i am of hindu religion i often think of sucide no am not going through any kind of depression its just that i am scared of leading the life that i am living currently my father died when i was just 7 years old more than 23 have passed i am feeling guilty as i am unable to do something for my family and even for myself this thing really scares me off
Gavatri ask Jesus to help you in your situation he is the one who helps and strengthens us when there seems no hope he is able to change things our circumstance.I am not asking you to give up your hindu faith but just pray to him and ask for his guidance he will help you.I will also ask that he help you in your situation.regards brentnz
I have multiple learning disabilities, which have caused vicious bullying. Spatially Challenged is impossible to explain to people. They call me unteacbable and defiant. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have no visual recall and no talent. I have been called nice. Ready to die. I know Jesus is sovereign and I must accept it. Just waiting to die. No way to hide this. It’s with me everyday.
Kay and for anyone else contemplating suicide there is hope we cant do it in our strength. God has a plan for your life he loves you tell the Lord how you feel tell him of the impossible challenges you face every day and how life is so miserable that you want to die and then say Lord i am sorry i cant do this anymore i just dont have enough strength please help me i feel weak and i cant go on anymore i need your strength and your power that is why we need his holy spirit if you havent received it then ask him for it.He is our empowerer when we are weak he helps us to be as Christ an overcomer.One of my favorite verses is I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and that verse is for you to have hope and a future i believe the Lord is just waiting to help you you just have to ask regards brentnz
Wow! Not one single Bible verse mentioned in the entire article.
This was good reading at a time when I really needed it.
Such a good message Jeremy. Sound! Sound! Sound! Nothing I can add to that whatsoever!!!
Actually. I do want to add something Jeremy. Words are a very important part of living. Hence jesus was called the word. In the beginning was the word. So I try to reconstruct words and think about their meaning. Depression force example. A diver coming up from deep sea needs to de compress to stop him sticking very ill or dieing. Likewise in life we sometimes need to depressurize to stop us getting sick or dieing. So in respect to this depression can be a very positive thing. We need to be aware of its presence and address the things we have to walk away from ir at least take a break from. We depressurize. But it’s a difficult process no doubt. Varying in levels. Sympathy, empathy play their respective parts. But we need to be careful with these 2 things. They can heap more pressure on when not required. It’s an Immensely personal part if a person’s journey in life. And to be honest. Lots of really small baby steps need to be taken for the person going through it. Again. A bit like the deep sea diver. Stopping several times before he gets to the surface. Steps. Baby steps! I pray that all you out there start taking these baby steps. The Lord will be there for you to hold your hand if you ask his assistance. He will even be there if you do not. But it’s nice to feel his presence. Amen. P. S. Depression is certainly nothing to be ashamed of. In fact it’s a brave, sturdy person who brings it out in to the open and gets help to deal with it or deals with it themselves.