pain Archives - Redeeming God

Have you ever heard a woman use Genesis 3:16 to say that the reason women experience pain in childbearing is because God cursed Eve? In other words, have you ever heard someone blame God for the pain that women experience in giving birth?

These are the sorts of questions we are looking at in this episode of the One Verse Podcast.

The Text of Genesis 3:16

To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.”

In this discussion of Genesis 3:16 we look at:

The words used for childbearing in Genesis 3:16
The word used for pain in Genesis 3:16
The question of whether or not God inflicts pain on women
The truth that God does not curse or hurt women

Resources:

Downloadable Podcast Resources

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God’s Mirror, Our Looking Glass, and the People We Bump into

By Jeremy Myers

12 Comments

This is a guest post by Grahame Smith.

Grahame was most influenced in life by Christians who lived out their faith by rolling up their sleeves and taking risks by helping others. He is a Chaplain and Crisis Counselor and with his wife Rhonda has raised 3 children and is helping to raise 4 grandchildren.

Grahame has two sites where he interacts with people from many countries. They can be found at Soul Care Counselling and SoulCare

He has a passion in asking people to consider what the 21st Century Church should like through social media.

Note from Jeremy Myers: I am publishing several guest posts this summer as I take some time off to rest. I am also preparing for something HUGE this fall. Stay tuned! If you would like to write a Guest Post for RedeemingGod, begin by reading the Guest Blogger Guidelines.

Months ago, a man in his early 30s passed me in the hallway. I had got to know him at one of the workplaces I visit. As one often does in such circumstances I asked him how he was going. This is a question which can easy roll off our tongues perhaps with little thought of what may come next.

He actually stopped me and said “life is hard and I have made a mess of things.”

Now I have come to realize many years ago, God does provide divine opportunities for us to extend His grace to others. What do I do now I asked myself?

I could see in his eyes a lot of pain, and I had a meeting to go to. If I put him off, the chance to listen and perhaps to help is lost. The clock was ticking in my head; I really need to be at this meeting I told myself.

I said “Bill (not his real name), I have to be at a meeting in 5 minutes, I really want to chat with you, say in 2 hours?” I was thinking he would say no, instead he said “See you at 1300hrs!” (He’s in the armed services). From experience I’ve learned these opportunities involve a lot of emotion.

The meeting was difficult and draining so I didn’t feel up to my 1pm appointment.

When I arrived, Bill was waiting for me. (Not a good sign, I said to myself.)

I had accidently pressed an emotional button in Bill earlier that day, and so for next 2 hours he poured out his tragic story.

In short he had been deployed overseas for 10 months as a UN peace keeper and when he had come home he found that his marriage was over and his kids very distressed. He blamed himself for the mess. He saw himself as a failure as a husband, father and as a provider. His self-esteem was a rock bottom. So I was concerned for his safety. He said he had nowhere to turn to, except to me as it turned out.

Much more has been said in the 10 sessions I have worked with Bill, even very recently. The impact of how Bill saw himself across his total life became the most profound part of the story. But over our time together, Bill came to know Christ as his Lord and Savior, and significant change happened.

We had considered in one session; 2 Corinthians 3:16-18 to 4:1-2, where it tells us, that where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty in our lives. We are also told, as we gaze in the mirror of God’s word by the Holy Spirit, that we are transformed each day, more and more to the image of Christ.

Now Bill tried to describe to me what this verse did to him. He said the hardest thing he found was to try and see himself as God sees him. He had a strong belief he was a failure and was unforgivable but this was being challenged by a voice within him. Despite him finding Christ he would still go fishing in his mind “re-living past sins and kicking himself all over again”.

On one occasion I introduced a small mirror and asked him see his reflection and answer two questions.

1. Look at the mirror you are holding, what do you see, what do you think of yourself really, not your appearance but the inner you.

2. If God was looking back at you, what would He see in your opinion?

Both answers were similar. I then asked him to consider a list of bible verses that demonstrates God’s love for us and how He really sees us.

He told me the light bulb went on in his head. And amongst his tears he had got it. He said he could now forgive himself and his wife. Gods Mirror had become his Looking Glass helping to correct his false images, false assumptions, beliefs and helping him to avoid making poor choices when sorting his life out.

All this came out of a chance meeting in a corridor and me trying to find reasons why I didn’t have the time to chat. Divine opportunities just pop up, even if we don’t want them to!

Are you looking for the people God brings into your life? Keep your eyes and ears open! You never know who you might meet in the hallway.

Why you shouldn’t suffer for Jesus

By Jeremy Myers

18 Comments

I hear a lot of religious talk about how following God will lead to suffering and pain. How we must sacrifice ourselves for Jesus. While I do not at all deny that the New Testament does speak with this sort of language (cf. Rom 12:1-2), and while I completely agree that following Jesus will lead to troubles and trials (John 16:33), I think that religion sometimes places too great of an emphasis on the pain and the sorrow, and not enough emphasis on the joy and contentment.

Let me put it another way. I sometimes hear people say, “Jesus suffered and so should you.”

I’m just not so sure this logic is sound, nor am I sure it is biblical.

To say that we need to become more like Jesus by following Jesus into suffering is like saying that we need to become more like God by following God into creating the universe.

Good luck with that…

While we certainly can be creative, none of us will ever create the universe.

Similarly, while we certainly will suffer in this life as followers of Jesus, Jesus does not call us to suffer as He suffered.

Yes, I know that we are to take up our cross and follow Him.

But to take up your cross and follow Jesus (Luke 9:23) is to take up your cross, not His.

He already carried His cross. He doesn’t need or want or call us to carry His cross. Jesus carried His cross so that we would not have to. (Yes, yes, Simon carried it for him for a while, but when we talk about Jesus carrying His cross, we’re not actually talking about Him carrying it, but about His death and suffering upon the cross…)

Jesus did not suffer and die so that we could follow Him into suffering.

I believe this sort of misapplication of the death of Jesus only grieves Jesus deeply.

Imagine if a criminal broke into your home and gave you the choice of torturing you or your child. You would obviously choose to have the criminal torture you to death. But what if, as your child grew up, they wanted so much to be like you, that they decided to start seeking out people to torture them? Is that why you chose to be tortured instead of your child? So that they could imitate you and become tortured also? No! You took the torture so that they could live free of torture, and it would grieve you if your child thought that by you taking torture for them, they had to be tortured themselves in order to be like you! You died so that your child might live!

So also with Jesus. Jesus died so that we might have life, and have it to the full (John 10:10). Jesus died, not so that we too might die as He did, but rather, so that we might live as He did.

So don’t follow Jesus into suffering.

Yes, in this world, you will have troubles (John 16:33). But that is because this world is full of troubles. Jesus didn’t want you to think that by following Him, you would escape all troubles. No, you will still have troubles, but you can bear them with the knowledge that they will lead to opportunities to glorify God and serve others.

Remember that people who do not follow Jesus also have troubles. But without the knowledge that God can use even their troubles to transform lives and bring restoration, redemption, healing, and hope, many people allow their troubles to get the best of them, and they turn to drugs, alcohol, entertainment, sex, or even death as an escape from their troubles.

Not so with the follower of Jesus! Our troubles are no different from the troubles of others, but we can redeem our troubles, knowing that God will use them for the good.

That is the only real difference between the troubles we have as followers of Jesus and the troubles that people face who do not follow Jesus.

We Christians sometimes adopt a martyr mentality, where we think our troubles are so much worse than the troubles that non-Christians face. But if you spend any amount of time in the lives of non-Christians, you will soon come to realize that this is not true.

All people face troubles, because this world is full of trouble and pain and sorrow and sickness and death.

The thing that separates the follower of Jesus from the non-follower is not a lack of trouble or more troubles, but rather the fact that we believe God can redeem our troubles and use them for the good.

In fact, when we talk about suffering with Jesus, it might be best to realize that this does not mean that Jesus is calling us to suffer for Him. No, it means that when you suffer, Jesus is with you in the suffering. He does not send pain and suffering upon you, but rather walks with you through the pain and suffering when it comes.

This is what it means to take up your cross and follow Jesus. It means to imitate or follow Him, but not to copy Him. It means to view our suffering and troubles the way He viewed His … as something that God can redeem. Jesus did not want to suffer and die (and more than we want to experience the suffering and pain of life), but He knew that His suffering would result in the greatest revelation in human history.

Similarly, our troubles can also result in a revelation.

Revealing Suffering

When we walk with God through the pain and suffering of life, we gain a clearer picture of who God truly is, and especially, who we truly are. We also gain a picture of how we can walk with other people through their pain and suffering … NOT by quoting Bible verses at them and pounding them over the head with fear, guilt, and shame about the judgment and punishment of God, but by simply being with them, crying with them, serving them, and loving them, as God does for us.

But make no mistake. Just because God redeems pain and suffering, this does not mean that suffering is good. Suffering is bad.

God does not want anybody to suffer, nor does He send suffering on anybody.

But in the wisdom of God, good can come out of bad suffering. Just as the glorious gifts of redemption, reconciliation, and revelation came from the badness of the cross, so God can bring good out of the bad things that happen in our life as well.

To imitate Jesus is not to imitate Him in His suffering, but to imitate Him in His love.

To become like Jesus is not chase after pain and rejection from others, but to chase after opportunities to serve others like Jesus.

5 Heartbreaking Search Terms People Use to Find my Blog… (I cry when I see them)

By Jeremy Myers

10 Comments

I sometimes cry at the search terms people use to find my blog.

They remind me that there is so much pain and loneliness in the world.

I use Google Analytics and Google Webmaster Tools to learn a few things about the people who visit my blog and how they find me, and sometimes, my heart breaks at what I see.

Today, I saw that someone visited my site by searching for the term

Should a man call his wife a fool?

I do not know whether this was a man or a woman searching for this, but I suspect that it was a woman who is feeling hurt and betrayed after her husband called her a fool. Most tragically of all, the day I saw this was February 15, the day after Valentine’s Day.

On a day when a wife should be reminded how precious and lovely she is, here is a woman who apparently was told she was foolish. And apparently, this sort of treatment is so commonplace, she is wondering if maybe it is okay.

So she searches online for whether or not it is okay for her husband to call her a fool.

She found this page: Call Someone a fool and go to hell. Sadly, I went and read that post, and am not sure she found it so helpful. I should rework it to be more encouraging…

As I wrote this post, I went and watched the search terms roll through the real time reporting screen of Google Analytics. Over the course of twenty minutes, I saw these search terms come across my screen:

If I commit suicide will I go to hell?

The person landed on this page: Suicide is not the Unforgivable Sin. I really hope that person found some encouragement and love in that post to give them the desire to keep on living.

Can I be forgiven if I commit adultery?

The person who searched for this landed here: Is Adultery the Unforgivable Sin? I went and read it again and asked myself…. did that post encourage the person to stay faithful to his or her spouse? I hope so. Of course, if they have already committed adultery, it tells them that they are forgiven by God. But at the same time, I don’t want to encourage people to commit adultery. Did I say enough about the damaging consequences of adultery while still emphasizing God’s grace, love, and forgiveness?

You are probably seeing a pattern here on various sins. As I was writing the previous paragraph, I switched over to Google Analytics, and saw this search term pop up:

Is abortion forgivable?

The person who searched for that landed on this page: Is Abortion the Unforgivable Sin? Reading over that post, I think the woman searching for this was probably not helped so much. I say that abortion is forgivable, but I spend too much time on how horrible the sin of abortion is. That may not be as loving as I would want…

If that woman was sitting at my kitchen table with my wife and I, and asked that same question, I imagine there would be lots of tears and hugs, and not much else. That is what she needs, not a theology lesson on the forgivability of murder…

One search term I have seen a lot of recently is this:

Am I possessed by a demon?

Is my _______ [wife, husband, child, mother] demon possessed?

People who search for those terms end up here: Signs of Demon Possession. Do you know the personal and relational anguish someone must be going through to search for that? It breaks my heart.

That is why for me, blogging is pastoral work. Through my blog, I hope to help people all around the world understand how much God loves them, that they are forgiven, that He cares, that He is with them, that they are not alone. I hope people are freed from the bondage, delivered from captivity, and set free from the dark chains of sin.

As I write, I often pray for the people who will read the posts. As I watch these search terms come across my screen, and the tears roll down my cheeks, I pray for the people who are searching for truth, love, hope, and forgiveness, and I pray that they will find such things in Jesus.

And for you who are reading this, I thank God for you as well. Thank you for reading this blog. Thank you for sharing it with others on Facebook, Twitter, Google, and by email. Thank you for interacting with each other in the comments. Thank you for being gracious, loving, and kind. Together, we have a little online community here that is helping tens of thousands of people around the world every single month.

15 Things NOT to Say at a Funeral (or to anybody in pain)

By Jeremy Myers

23 Comments

It is always difficult to know what to say at a funeral or to people in pain. Usually, unless we have experienced great pain, suffering, or loss in our own life, we stick our foot in our mouth and say the wrong thing. Sometimes, in painful situations, it is better to not say anything at all, then to try to comfort those who are grieving only to offend or hurt them further.

Not to make light of a painful situation, but too often, we are like this guy:

We want to say the right thing, but since we never know what to say at a funeral, we end up saying something stupid or offensive.

So although it is difficult to know what to say to someone who is grieving or suffering, here are fifteen things NOT to say at a funeral (or to others in pain). These statements are little more than Christian cliches, and aside from not helping anybody, they do not accurately represent God or Scripture.

Don’t take it so hard.
God is still on the throne.
Try to hold back your tears; they make people uncomfortable.
Remember to give thanks in all things.
It’s probably for the best.
God knows what He is doing.
It could have been worse.
She (he) is better off now.
Don’t question God.
God must really love you to have selected you for this burden.
Your child (spouse, parent, etc) will be raised again.
I know what you are experiencing; my dog died last month.
God is refining you. There must be some sin He is rooting out of your life.
God is preparing you for something better.
God is preparing you for something worse.

I always like to remember Job’s friends. It is only after they opened their mouths that they became miserable comforters (Job 16:2).

Do you have questions about any of these fifteen or have one to add? Include it in the comments below.

[#46] Genesis 3:16a – God Does Not Abuse Women

The Text of Genesis 3:16

In this discussion of Genesis 3:16 we look at:

Resources:

Downloadable Podcast Resources

Do you like learning about the Bible online?

God’s Mirror, Our Looking Glass, and the People We Bump into

Why you shouldn’t suffer for Jesus

So don’t follow Jesus into suffering.

Revealing Suffering

5 Heartbreaking Search Terms People Use to Find my Blog… (I cry when I see them)

15 Things NOT to Say at a Funeral (or to anybody in pain)

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