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I am Queer

This guest post is by an anonymous person. Even though he is not ashamed of who he is, he has chosen to remain anonymous to avoid embarrassing family members who are still evolving on these issues. This post was condensed from interviews with our anonymous poster. This is Part 1 of 4 Blog Posts from this person. Here also is Part 2: Don’t Hate Me for Being Queer, Part 3: Queer Christians, and Part 4: An Open Letter to Christians from a Queer.

Whether you agree or disagree with what he says, please be gracious in your comments below.

I am male and I am queer. Neither was a choice. I was born the way I am. I don’t feel a need to try to prove that to anyone. I know and always have known who I am.

I am Queer

I am Queer. What does that mean?

Some of the older generation may consider it derogatory, but most of my generation does not consider it derogatory. I think of it as a catch-all term. For me, it describes people who don’t exactly fit into the usual categories.

I am male, married to a female, and a Christian. For the purposes of this discussion, I don’t know any other labels that fit. I am not straight, gay, or bi.

I like women. I like men. I’m attracted to some women and to some men, but not to most women or most men. I married a woman because it’s easier to merge with the masses. I love my wife, and plan to stay married to her. I could just as easily be married to a man, though it would depend on the man.

The day the state I grew up in made it legal to marry someone of the same gender, I cried. If that had happened before I got married, I wonder if I might have married one of my boyfriends instead of one of my girlfriends.

Am I the Only One?

Are there other people like me? Lots of people aren’t attracted totally to the opposite sex or to the same sex. Think of it as a sliding scale, with all the totally heteros at one end and all the totally same-sex attracted on the other end. Lots of people aren’t at one end or the other of the scale. How do I know this? I know some of these people and most of them know more of us.

We are related to you, live next door to you, work next to you and may even be married to you. That doesn’t mean we are or are not attracted to you, whatever your gender.

I think a lot of people are suspicious that there are more LGBTs and others like me than the statistics say. When the stigma attached to being anything other than one hundred percent straight is gone, they may find out how many of us there really are. Are they afraid they might be outnumbered?

I Am A Christian

It might surprise you to know that I also consider myself to be a Christian. How is that possible? I agree, it is difficult, given all the unkind, nasty, unloving, ignorant, stupid, wrong things some Christians say about LGBT people. Those comments also hurt people like me. Why would anybody want to associate with angry, mean people who say things like that?

But I am not a Christian because of Christians. I am a Christian because of Jesus. The Jesus I know isn’t like most Christians I have met.

Jesus is kind, loving, and gentle. He created all of us, wherever we fall on the straight to gay scale. It makes me wonder: If Christians are supposed to be like Jesus, why are so many of them not like Jesus?

A few days ago I read about the sixteen year old boy in Oakland California who set an eighteen year old young man on fire on a city bus because the eighteen year old was wearing a skirt. Such hatred for something that had nothing to do with the sixteen year old! The sixteen year old attempted to murder someone else simply because they are different, revealing his hatred, bigotry, ignorance and more.

I do not know if that sixteen year old boy was a Christian or not, but I do know that many Christians want LGBT people to burn in hell. Is that really any different than setting a person on fire for wearing a skirt?

Don’t hate me for who I am. I don’t hate you for who you are. Love others because Jesus loves you as well as others. We are all created in his image. Let’s try to look like him, and that looks like love, not hate.

Do you have questions for me? Do you want to hear more of my story? There will be three more posts this week in which I will share more about me, and if there is enough interest, we can do a Q&A in a future post.

What if there were no churches?

By Jeremy Myers

15 Comments

This is a guest post Brandon Chase. Brandon is a baseball player at heart; a practicing Crossfitter, golfer, hoopster and guitarist; fueled by meat, cappuccinos and chocolate. He writes about learning to Live by the Life of Jesus Christ on his blog Zōē Perissos. He is married to his high school sweetheart, Marie, and has two daughters McKinley and Delaney. They live in Fort Worth, TX.

Like Zōē Perissos on Facebook or follow Brandon on Facebook, or Twitter.

If you would like to write a Guest Post for the Till He Comes Blog, begin by reading the Guest Blogger Guidelines.

Do you remember doing Science Fair projects in school? You know, the ones where you did an experiment in order to answer a question, solve a problem, or explore a “what if?”

I’m certainly glad I’m not in 7^th grade anymore, and don’t have to whip out my tri-panel display board and fret over whether the Judges are going to like my project. But, I do have an experiment, while hypothetical, that I’d love to see tested:

What would happen to the Church – the Body of Christ, if it were forced to exist without:

Officially designated church buildings or offices
Paid, full-time vocational ministers
Institutional or otherwise officially organized groups or factions
Tithes, Budgets or Ministry Plans

As I stated, I realize this experiment is an anecdotal exercise. Truly, it would take an extreme set of circumstances (or… a magnificent move of God) to arrange a new playing field such as this.

But what if?

What would you do if you woke up one morning, and suddenly, as if in an alternate reality, you learned that following your Lord, practicing and growing in your faith – being a Christian – had to be done differently…

What if…

What if there were no “churches” to “go to?”

What if there were no buildings where Christians gathered once or twice per week?

What if there were no “Ministers?” No “Pastors?” No “Preachers?” No “Leaders?”

What if there were no denominations? No groups of like-minded people who practice the same theological or doctrinal expression and traditions?

What if there were no institutions to which you would tithe or give? There were no tax deductions? No budgets directing the allocation of funds or mission statements or plans dictating ministry form?

You would have prayer, the Bible, and people – but none of the above.

What would you do? How would you move forward? What would happen to the Church?

What would happen to the world?

Hypothesis: Revival

I am giddy as I fantasize about this query.

Can you imagine? The Body of Christ being released into the wilderness – amongst the darkness and danger and wolves of the world – with no “church” building to retreat to on Sunday, no “Pastor” to listen to week after week, no tribe to look for answers in tradition and no tax motivation or direction on where to give money?

To many, this sounds like chaos.

To me, this sounds like Heaven on earth. This sounds like the Ekklesia. This sounds like the Body under the Head. This sounds like the Bride in radiant Oneness with Her Groom. This sounds like the Family of God. This sounds like a dwelling place for the Lord.

This sounds like Jesus.

It was He in fact who said He was sending us out like sheep amongst the wolves. He said just as He is Light, so too are we, shining in the darkness. He said that the world was dangerous, but that He had already overcome it, and that we were the real dangerous ones in Him.

He also said He was the Head of His Body, the Church. He would lead; we would be equal, united and mutually beneficial members to each other, and the Body as a whole.

He said that as sheep, we listen to His voice and hear Him, as He leads us, and we follow.

He said there was no room for division or faction – only Him.

He said nothing about giving a certain percentage. He asked for everything. He did not direct ministry. Ministry is His Life – and It is to be taken everywhere, all the time, as He directs.

These were the simple, but profound instructions a small group of followers received from their Lord. They didn’t have buildings they erected and gathered in. They didn’t place titles on certain people or create offices around them. They knew nothing of denominations. They were not given percentage of giving or mission plan guidelines.

Instead, they gathered with each other, two or more at a time, at varying points in the day, every day, in as many varying forms and expressions as possible.

When they gathered, Christ, by the Holy Spirit, “lead” the meeting. He set the agenda. He was the agenda. He was expressed and His Life was given, and out of that expression and Life came mission direction and action – always in the form of humility, service and Love. Money and possessions and resources were given freely, generously, spontaneously and continuously – with no thought to percentage or personal benefit. Ministry was organic, dynamic, and viral.

Their simple, but powerfully obedient response to their Lord’s commission, changed the world.

The early Christians did not have anything that we do not have today. In fact, they had so much less. But the advancement of the Kingdom and the Life of Jesus was so much more explosive in their time.

This begs the question:

How did the early church do so much with so little? And… How are we doing so little with so much more?

And these are indeed good questions. But they are not the best question, which is:

What do we have now, that they didn’t have, that may be hindering the Kingdom?

While the answers to that question cannot be fully treated in one article, might I submit that in part, they include:

The modern day church building as the form and function of what we believe to be “church;” and if “gone to,” the primary function and practice of Christians.
The submission to, and sometimes idolatry of those in the position of “Pastor” or others in “Leadership,” to the point where, under the clergy/laity caste, the Priesthood of all Believers, and the identification of and free functioning in Spiritual gifts is retarded.
The division of the Body of Christ into many thousands of dis-unified parts, many of which give no more than lip service to the Lord Jesus Christ as the Head.
The oftentimes abused teaching of tithing, and the door that it closes to creative opportunities to be generous in giving and serving and loving outside of a corporate bank account and budget.

God is not hindering His work in our age. He has not designed that this time be marked with less power and wonder and expansion of His Kingdom.

No, man has done that.

Maybe, just maybe, this little experiment should not be anecdotal or hypothetical at all.

Maybe, we’ve always had the prescribed steps, ingredients and answers to this all along?

We have Him. He is all we need.

Maybe He is calling His children to get ourselves – our stuff and our ideas, out of the way…

…and follow.

Church Fail

By Jeremy Myers

2 Comments

I found this while looking for an image for a different post. It says “Church Fail” on it, but it appears the church fail blog no longer exists. Oh well. It is still humorous.

Of course, I don’t think “church” only exists where two or three are gathered either…

This comic reminds me a bit of Alan Knox’s “Scripture… As We Live it” series. Go check it out!

And if you are interested more in the “Institutional Church Version” Bible, Eric Carpenter recently sent me this video which tells you more:

The Church of Isaiah 53

By Jeremy Myers

8 Comments

Yesterday I mentioned Isaiah 53:1-3 in a post about Models for Christ, and in a previous post I talked about various popular church models. It occurred to me that a good church model is found in Isaiah 53:1-5.

Here are the bullet points:

No beauty that is desired
It is despised and rejected by men
Full of sorrows and acquainted with grief
Wounded and bruised for the sins of others
Brings healing to all

Yes, this passage isn’t about the church. It’s about Jesus. But as the body of Christ, we cannot do much better than take Him as our model.

Rather than model our church after Hollywood models, let us model the church after Jesus Christ, whose name and image we bear.

Thank God for Models for Christ

By Jeremy Myers

5 Comments

As people around the country stop to sit down with friends and family and a bunch of other strangers while we wait in line for the doors to open at Best Buy, it is good to remember all that we are thankful for.

One of the things I am thankful for is “Models for Christ.” They do such a good job representing Jesus. (Read that statement with sarcasm.)

I was listening to the radio and heard about how a group of volunteers gathered in New York to serve a Thanksgiving dinner to the homeless. The radio show host was there as well, and he said that the food was hot and ready to serve, the homeless were all lined up ready to eat, when all of a sudden, the whole event had to stop so that local newspaper and magazine publishers could take pictures of some “Models for Christ” serving food to the homeless.

The radio show host said that though he had been there all morning helping to prepare the food and the auditorium for feeding the homeless, he hadn’t seen any of the “Models for Christ” do any work earlier. During the picture shoot, all they did was smile, post, and hold paper plates full of food that someone else had prepared. Then, when the photo shoot was over, all the “Models for Christ” left… without serving a single plate to a single homeless person.

The real volunteers, who had been there all morning cooking and preparing, were the ones who served all the food, sat and talked with the homeless people, and stayed around afterward to clean up. Of course, nobody took any pictures of them for the newspaper or local magazines.

The radio show host said, “I am not saying that all ‘Models for Christ’ act like this, but it just seemed so rude and arrogant, to show up just when the food was about to get served, and then stall the whole event while some fake pictures are taken, and then leave without actually serving any food.”

I don’t think anybody was fooled that day, except for maybe the Models for Christ. Though they bore His name, they did not bear His image. Though they may have been “Models for Christ” they were not models of Christ.

I suppose we shouldn’t blame them. Their schedule was probably pretty tight. They probably had some guest appearances on Television shows, a photo-op with the Mayor, and then they had to get home to their glittering mansion and perfect family to eat a catered Thanksgiving meal.

Ok, ok. I’m getting a little worked up now.

Look, one of the constant themes on this blog is that if you are going to bear the name Christian, please, please, please, try to actually look like Jesus. Please try to model Christ to others, who had no beauty that we should desire Him, no riches and wealth that we should seek His favor, and no form or comeliness which attracted people to Him (cf. Isaiah 53:1-3).

But people were drawn to Jesus because He was full of grace and truth, love and mercy, hope and forgiveness, generosity and joy.

If we are truly models of Christ, this is how we too can live.

PS, No, I am not in line at Best Buy. My wife and I pretty much boycott the entire “Black Friday” shopping frenzy… not because we think it’s wrong… we just dislike crowds and stores.

Why Christian Events Fail

By Jeremy Myers

8 Comments

Have you ever been to a Christian event like a party or concert and been bored stiff? Have you ever looked around and thought, “What in the world is going on here?” You recognize all the parts of the event — the food, the music, the people, the activities — but the Christian event just seems… odd?

Why is this?

When the Church Follows Worldly Cues

I think part of it is that we are taking our cues from the world.

We look at the world to see what they do for fun, then we take out everything we perceive as “sinful” and then try to do this stripped down version as a “Christian event.” We hope that if we do things that the world enjoys, maybe they will come join us.

These Christianized versions of worldly events are pitiful attempts to attract unbelievers to Christ.

Of course, what we fail to realize, is that for most unbelievers, the things that make the event “fun” are the sinful things we have stripped out — the alcohol, the sexuality, the secular music, and other such elements.

The world is not fooled by Christian attempts to copy the world. They wonder why we even bother.

The choices then are two, and I actually think we see Jesus doing both.

If the Church Can’t Beat Them…

First, rather than compete with the worldly events, we can just join them.

Rather than have our own party, minus the alcohol, sexuality, dancing, and secular music, why not just go attend theirs?

That’s right: Go to the bar. Go to the club. Go hang out where the smoke is thick and the language is course.

Being there doesn’t mean you have to participate in all the activities, and besides, going to where the people are is more incarnational than asking them to come to where you are.

The Church that Leads the World

Second, any Christian events that we host should be in areas where we don’t have to copy the world, but can lead the world.

Our Christian events should focus on issues of justice, compassion, mercy, generosity, kindness, forgiveness, grace, and sacrifice. The world has these things as well, but there is often an element of greed and power mixed in.

So these are the Christian events the church can host, and show the world how to do it right. Of course, we would then have to give up our aspirations for money and power… but that is another topic.

Are House Churches Weird?

By Jeremy Myers

30 Comments

I am facing a house church dilemma. Maybe some of you can help me.

I have visited some house churches that were …. well… not normal. They were kind of weird. Have you?

I don’t really know how to describe it, and I don’t want to sound harsh or condescending, but I felt quite uncomfortable at these meetings.

They seemed a bit… cultish.

My House Church Experience

I would have felt very uncomfortable inviting any of my non-Christian friends to such a meeting. Also, a few of the people were somewhat socially inept. I got the distinct feeling that the primary reason some of them were in a house church was because they would not be able to function properly with people in more traditional churches.

Has anyone else ever felt this way, or is it just me?

Am I being too judgmental? Am I the one that has the problem? Is this just my critical spirit getting in the way?

Are House Churches just Small “Regular” Churches?

Frankly, it seems that most house church groups were not even doing much of anything different from a traditional church, except on a much smaller scale. Five or ten people gather on Sunday mornings at about 10:00 am, sit in chairs, sing a few songs, spend some in prayer, and then have a Bible discussion, which more often than not, is dominated by one person.

This is really not that different from what takes place in any other church. It was just smaller.

Oh, and there was no paid pastor.

But really, is that what the house church movement is all about? I hope not.

There has got to be more to organic church, missional church, and house church than being a mini-church. I have some ideas on what church can look like, but I haven’t had the courage yet to try it. I think I’m going to give it a shot…

2013 Update: This post was originally written in 2011 on a different website. Since that time, I have embarked on my church “experiment” and have found more love, encouragement, fellowship, and relational warmth than almost any previous “church” experience. To keep updated on some of what I am thinking, doing, and experiencing in my “church” journey with Jesus, subscribe to my email newsletter, in which I send out personal updates and free eBooks.

Also, one book my wife and I read this past year which sounded eerily familiar to what we have personally experienced, was the fictional “novel” by Wayne Jacobsen and Dave Coleman, So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore. Wayne is coming out with a book soon called Finding Church, which I hope will be encouraging and helpful as well.

Do you like rain? Imagine being homeless in the rain…

By Sam Riviera

7 Comments

The cold rain streams down my window as I sit in my warm and dry home, yet hot, wet tears stream down my cheeks as I watch the rain.

I love the rain, especially since we need it so much in Southern California. But I am not crying for the rain.

I am crying for the people I love who must sit in the rain, soaking wet, with nowhere to go and nothing to cover themselves.

Recently my wife and I distributed a car trunk full of tarps, sweatshirts, sweaters, pants, blankets, food and other supplies to the homeless living in San Diego. But our meager supplies fell far short of meeting what they need.

This morning the temperature is fifty degrees. Fifty isn’t all that cold unless you’re soaked to the skin sitting on a wet sidewalk in the rain. Sitting under a tarp helps, but not everyone has a tarp. Some are sitting in the rain, shivering.

Blood on the Sidewalk

Many of our Christian friends are afraid to go with us to buy and distribute clothes, food, and tarps to the homeless. They’re afraid to go to the inner city and mingle with the poor, the bikers, the gangs. They blanch when we tell them of the times we have stood on still-wet blood stains on the sidewalk where someone was murdered during the previous night. (I think this has happened five or six times.)

Sometimes we’re afraid before we go. For some reason we’re never afraid when we’re there. We see beautiful people, who are in the middle of life’s messes.

To Show The Love of Jesus

My friend who does not follow Jesus, who loves the homeless, the poor, and our gay friends wants to go with me today. She is trying to take off work for a couple of hours to join me. We’ll buy tarps and then hand them out.

When the homeless ask who we are and why we’re doing it I’ll say “I follow Jesus and we’re here to show the love of Jesus.” Then I’ll ask their name, and ask what they need. My friend will write it down in my little notebook.

Sometimes I pray with them there on the sidewalk, in the rain. Sometimes they ask about Jesus. Sometimes they bless me, at God’s bidding. I bless them in return.

We’re safe, warm, and dry. But are they?

There is so much need in the world!

And YOU can help.

Fill out the form below to receive several emails about how to love and serve the poor and homeless.

(Note: If you are a member of RedeemingGod.com, login and then revisit this page to update your membership.)

The Institution

By Jeremy Myers

4 Comments

Jesus’ attitude toward the Temple was not “this institution needs reforming,” nor “the wrong people are running this place,” nor yet “piety can function elsewhere too.” His deepest belief regarding the Temple was eschatological: the time had come for God to judge the entire institution.

—N. T. Wright, The Challenge of Jesus, p. 64.

I wonder what Jesus would say about the church institution?

Stop Attending Church to Start Spiritual Conversations

By Jeremy Myers

14 Comments

No, I’m not telling you to stop attending church.

You must do what you believe God wants you to do.

If you Stop Attending Church

But if you stop attending church so that you can be the church, it may be the best thing that ever happens to you in your life with Jesus and your evangelistic endeavors.

When I stopped attending church, the number of spiritual conversations I had with people skyrocketed. Previously, when I was a pastor and a regular church attender, I rarely had spiritual conversations with people who were not already in a church.

But after I stopped attending church, and started trying to follow Jesus into the world, the number of conversations I had with people who don’t go to church became a nearly daily occurrence. Now, as I go about my day, run errands, and so on, I have been shocked at how Jesus just seems to insert himself into conversations.

Previously, I used to try to figure out how to “change the subject” from weather and politics to the Bible and Jesus. It was always awkward and unnatural. Now, I sometimes find myself talking about following Jesus outside of “the church” to someone, and I think to myself, “How in the world did we end up here?”

I don’t really know how to explain it.

Yes, I am praying for opportunities to talk with people, and our girls are real outspoken about Jesus, and my wife and I are always carrying around Christian books, so maybe those spark the conversations. But we have always done these things. What changed?

Only one thing. I stopped “going to church” so I could be the church. It’s not always an either-or, but it’s what we did.

People Want to Know why You Stopped Attending Church

When people find out I’m trying to follow Jesus but I don’t “attend church” they are intrigued. They often want to find out more, and the conversation turns to subjects of following Jesus, questions about God, and other spiritual matters.

I make it a point to say that I have not stopped attending church because I hate the church or am running from God. No, I am more involved now with church than ever before. I am trying to follow Jesus in ways that show love to others than ever before. The time and energy I used to devote to attending church I now seek to use in being the church among others.

This sort of conversation usually leads to another conversation, and another, until eventually, we have a relationship, and we hang out, eat lunch together, help each other with work around the yard or house, and so on.

So for me, stopping attending church seems to be a good “conversation starter” with lots of other people who do not go to church.

Have you had experiences like this, where God seems to work in and through your life once you have started “being the church” rather than just “attending church”?

(Note: In the past few years, I have met a few people who were “sent out” by their church as missionaries with this sort of task. They work secular jobs, and just meet regularly with people for discussions. They made it clear to their church that they will not be attending church and will not be trying to convince the people they meet with to attend church. The sending church agrees to this, and supports them in prayer… and sometimes financially. That is awesome!)

I am Queer

I am Queer

Am I the Only One?

I Am A Christian

What if there were no churches?

But what if?

Hypothesis: Revival

Church Fail

The Church of Isaiah 53

Thank God for Models for Christ

Why Christian Events Fail

When the Church Follows Worldly Cues

If the Church Can’t Beat Them…

The Church that Leads the World

Are House Churches Weird?

My House Church Experience

Are House Churches just Small “Regular” Churches?

Do you like rain? Imagine being homeless in the rain…

Blood on the Sidewalk

To Show The Love of Jesus

There is so much need in the world!

The Institution

Stop Attending Church to Start Spiritual Conversations

If you Stop Attending Church

People Want to Know why You Stopped Attending Church

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