Redeeming God

Liberating you from bad ideas about God

Learn the MOST ESSENTIAL truths for following Jesus.

Get FREE articles and audio teachings in my discipleship emails!


You are here: Home / Archives

If I REALLY followed Jesus

6 Comments

Glenn HagerThis is a guest post from Glenn Hager.

Glenn encourages free-spirited people of faith through his writing, speaking, consulting, and one-on-one relationships. He lives in the Chicago area with his amazingly patient wife, Patty, a spoiled beagle, and a crazed cat. He enjoys spending time with his kids and grandkids, bicycling, traveling, reading, writing, playing guitar, trying new restaurants, and chatting with friends.

Glenn writes at GlennHager.com and you may connect with Glenn on Facebook or Twitter.

If you would like to write a Guest Post for the Till He Comes Blog, begin by reading the Guest Blogger Guidelines.

What if I really followed Jesus? If I think about it in daily life, nitty-gritty terms, it would look something like this for me.

If I really followed Jesus…

if I really followed JesusI would stop worrying about the church and would not confuse it with Jesus or his kingdom. I would realize that following Jesus is a personal matter and it is my responsibility to live in his ways as I go about my regular daily life. Community is important, but how I follow Jesus is up to me.

I wouldn’t be afraid to “speak truth to power,” whether the “power” is the church the government, the corporate world, or politically correct ideologies. I, also, wouldn’t be surprised if it makes some people really mad.

I would make it a point to seek out those who need a little help, a little love, and be their friend. It would be an intentional daily focus, as I become more aware of the people that I meet in the normal course of life.

I would become an all-out people-person who is highly interested in individuals and their stories. I would become a better conversationalist, a great listener, a good asker of questions, and I would be honest about my own failures.

I would become a big time partyer and attend and host lots of parties and gatherings. I would know how to have a good time and how to help people have a good time.

I would figuratively and literally embrace people.

I would help make their day a little brighter and I would be with them in their darkest moments.

I would become a better storyteller because of the sheer power of a good story.

I would heavily invest in the most important people in my life.

I would look for chances to surprise people with grace.

I would look for new opportunities to connect with people who take me outside of my comfort zone.

I would believe that Jesus is who he said he was and not try to earn his favor, but would bask in his love and grace.

I would devote my life to learning to love people like he did.

(Note: The previous post is an excerpt from Glenn’s soon-to-be-published book, An Irreligious Faith: How to Starve Religion and Feed Life)

What areas in your life might look different if you really focused on following Jesus? Let us know in the comments below!

Why Did Jesus say, “My God, Why Have You Forsaken Me?”

81 Comments

why have you forsaken me?A reader recently sent a a series of questions about the experience of Jesus on the cross. I have answered most of the questions in previous posts (since the list below). In this post I will address the question about what Jesus meant when He said, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”

Here is the question the reader originally submitted:

I am a believer, but I am troubled by an atheist’s questions. I was talking to an atheist the other day, and he said that God doesn’t know what it’s like to lose a son because he knew all along that Jesus would rise in three days, so he only lost him for the weekend! He also questioned that if God is Jesus, why did he beg to be saved from the cross when he was in the garden? Also, shouldn’t Jesus already have known he would rise again in three days? Why did he ask God, “Why have you forsaken me?” Wouldn’t he know that he’s only going to be dead three days?

Since this is such a complex set of questions, I am answering them in four posts:

  1. How to Answer Questions of Atheists
  2. 2 Traditional Explanations for How God knows what it is Like to Lose a Son (both of which I reject)
  3. 2 Ways God Knows What it is like to Experience the Death of a Child
  4. Why did Jesus say, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”

The first three posts covered most of the issues, but there are two main questions left.

First, why did Jesus beg to be saved from the cross when He was in the garden? Second, why did He ask God, “Why have You forsaken Me?”?

That first unanswered question I have already attempted to answer in a previous post where I talked about the phrase, “Let this cup pass from me.” Though my interpretation of that statement by Jesus in the garden is somewhat controversial, it seems to make the most sense out of the context, and Jesus’ attitude leading up to the cross. I do not think Jesus was praying for a way out of the pain and suffering; His love for humanity was too great for that. No, I think Jesus was praying for strength to face the pain and suffering He knew He was about to bear.

So I am not going to write anything more about that here.

Let us focus instead on the statement of Jesus from the cross where He cried out, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”

Why Have You Forsaken Me?

This question from Jesus on the cross is found in Matthew 27:46-47 (and in Mark 15:34), and is a quotation from Psalm 22:1. It is asked by Jesus as He suffers on the cross, and faces the sin of the world being poured out upon Him.

why have you forsaken meThe main point of the question above is that since both Jesus and God the Father knew that God would raise Jesus from the dead (Matt 12:40), in what sense what Jesus forsaken by God?

In other words, if being forsaken means to be abandoned, rejected, despised, how could Jesus say, “Why have you forsaken me?” when He knew that He would be raised from the dead, and therefore, not ultimately forsaken, that is, not really abandoned, rejected, or despised?

The answer, I think, lies in understanding to some degree the eternal relationship that has existed between God the Father and God the Son.  Understanding this relationship, and the cry of Jesus from the cross, leads to a shocking idea (for me, anyway) about the experience of Jesus on the cross.

His Eternal Relationship seemed Broken

Since God the Father and God the Son have existed in an eternal relationship, they had never been separated by anything for any length of time in any way, shape, or form. Nothing had ever come between them the way of will, desires, intentions, thoughts, or purposes.

We humans have a difficult time grasping this, since we don’t know what it is like to live in such a relationship at all, let alone for all eternity. All of relationships, even those that are the most loving, have areas of discord and misunderstanding.

But God the Father and God the Son (along with God the Holy Spirit) always lived in a perfect relationship and perfect unity.

Yet when Jesus went to the cross, He took the sins of all people, throughout all time, upon Himself. He bore our sins in His own body (1 Pet 2:24). He who knew no sin, became sin for us (2 Cor 5:21). He became a curse for us (Gal 3:13).

I believe that from the perspective of Jesus on the cross, it seemed that God had “abandoned” Him to sin.

Though sin cannot damage or pollute God in any way, sin does cause a separation between Himself and the sinner. It appears that when Jesus took the sin of all people upon Himself, a separation came between Him and God that had never before existed.

So when Jesus cried out, “Why have you forsaken me?” it was because He was experiencing a brokenness in His relationship with God the Father that they had never before experienced. Yes, He knew that God had not finally and ultimately forsaken Him, and He knew that He would be raised again in three days, but the cry of Jesus from the cross is not about those things, but about the separation from God He experienced for the very time in all eternity.

why have you forsaken meThis experience of separation from God elicited the cry of Jesus, “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” He had never experienced this separation before, and though He knew that He would be reunited with God in a short while, the pain and agony of the separation was caused this cry of despair from Jesus.

But had God truly forsaken Jesus? I don’t think so. I don’t think God did forsake Jesus any more than God forsakes us. Jesus was not a God-forsaken God.

The God-Forsaken God?

I might be going out too far on a theological limb here, but there is a part of me that thinks it is only here on the cross where Jesus finally experienced the pain and turmoil of what it is like to be a sinful human being separated from God. Though Jesus came as a human being to rescue us from our sinful plight and in so doing, experienced almost everything He could as a human, He never really experienced the fearful and agonizing predicament of being separated from God by sin.

It was only when He took our sin upon Himself on the cross, it was only when the crushing despair of being separated from God came upon Him, that He finally felt what we humans have lived with since we were born. The pain and anguish we feel every day, the suffering of being separated from God that has so numbed our souls, the despair and fear that drives us to live as we do, was felt for the very first time by Jesus on the cross when sin came upon Him.

His cry, “My God, my God, Why have You forsaken Me?” is not the cry of the God-forsaken God, but is the heart cry of every single human being on earth. It is the cry we have been voicing since the beginning when we fell into sin.

And finally, God came to earth in Jesus Christ to experience this separation for Himself. And when He did, the suffering is so great, He cries out, “My God, my God, Why have you forsaken me?”

Do you see? This is not just the cry of Jesus on the cross. This is the cry of every single person on earth.

It is our pain, our fear, our hurt, our despair, finally being given a voice. It is the cry of God fully entering into our broken condition and fully experiencing the sense of separation from God that sin causes, and crying out in anguish and despair over this sense of loss, “My God, my God, why have You forsaken me?”

When we feel that God is ignoring us, or has abandoned us, Jesus knows what we feel, and He cries out to God on our behalf, “Why have You forsaken Me?”

When we experience fear in the night about our future, Jesus knows what we feel, and He cries out to God on our behalf, “Why have You forsaken Me?”

When bad things happen in this world, and we wonder what God is doing about them (if anything), Jesus knows what we feel, and He cries out to God on our behalf, “Why have You forsaken Me?”

When we feel despised and rejected, abused and slandered, misunderstood and forgotten, and we wonder why God seems to be doing nothing to protect and defend us, Jesus knows what we feel, and He cries out to God on our behalf, “Why have You forsaken Me?”

The separation from God that Jesus experienced on the cross is the separation from God that humans experience every day. Certainly, since He is God and since He bore every sin of every person, He experienced this separation to an infinite degree. But still, the cry of Jesus from the cross, “My God, my God, why have You forsaken Me?” is not just the cry of Jesus, but is our cry.

It is the cry of every single human being on earth. Jesus was giving voice to our pain and anguish.

Do you feel abandoned by God? Jesus knows what that feels like. Do you feel forsaken, neglected, forgotten, and overlooked? Jesus knows what that feels like. Do you feel like God has turned His back? Jesus knows what that feels like.

But here is the thing…

The original question was “How can Jesus say ‘Why have you forsaken me?’ when God did not actually forsake Him?”

Yes. And just as Jesus felt what we all feel to be forsaken, so also, none of us have been forsaken, just as Jesus Himself was not.

Though you may feel abandoned by God, you are no more abandoned than was Jesus. Though you may feel forsaken, forgotten, neglected, and overlooked, these things are no more true of you than they were of Jesus. Though you may feel unloved, this is no more true of you than it was for Jesus.

Though Jesus cried out, “Why have you forsaken me?” He was NOT forsaken. And neither are we.

This is a feeling that Jesus experienced, which is a feeling we ALL experience.

And this feeling does not come because we are forsaken, but because of sin. Sin has separated us from God; it has not separated God from us. This is why God had to reconcile the world to Himself (1 Cor 5:19). He didn’t need to reconcile Himself to the world, for He never left or abandoned us.

Though we may feel forsaken, we are not forsaken any more than Jesus was forsaken.

God did not forsake Jesus, and God does not forsake us. The presence of sin in our lives makes us feel like we are forsaken, like God has abandoned us, forgotten us, or left us alone to suffer and die, when in fact, God is right there all the time, holding us, loving us, and crying with us over our pain.

It is sin that makes us feel separated from God, and this is the feeling Jesus expressed on the cross, and is one reason Jesus went to the cross – to take our sin and bear it away into death so that we can see that God has not left us, has not abandoned us, and has not forsaken us, but has fully entered into our pain, our suffering, and even into our sin, so that He might show us how much He loves and cares for us. This truth is explained in more detail in my new book, The Atonement of God.

I am not sure if this answers the reader’s question, but it does help explain what Jesus meant when He said, “My God, my God, why have You forsaken Me?” It also helps us understand that on the cross, Jesus understood the feeling of being a sinful human being, and it is for this reason that we can trust His promise that He will never leave us nor forsake us (Heb 13:5).

The cross of Jesus is CENTRAL to everything!

Transform your life and theology by focusing on the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus:

Fill out the form below to receive several emails from me about the death and resurrection of Jesus.

(Note: If you are a member of RedeemingGod.com, login and then revisit this page to update your membership.)

God Knows What it is Like to Experience the Death of a Child

5 Comments

A reader recently sent in the following questions about the death of Jesus as the Son of God and how it affected God the Father. Specifically, they wanted to know if God knew what it was like to experience the death of a child. Here is the question:

I am a believer, but I am troubled by an atheist’s questions. I was talking to an atheist the other day, and he said that God doesn’t know what it’s like to experience the death of a child because he knew all along that Jesus would rise in three days, so he only lost him for the weekend! He also questioned that if God is Jesus, why did he beg to be saved from the cross when he was in the garden? Also, shouldn’t Jesus already have known he would rise again in three days? Why did he ask God, “Why have you forsaken me?” Wouldn’t he know that he’s only going to be dead three days?

I am answering these questions over the course of four blog posts in the following order:

  1. How to Answer Questions of Atheists
  2. 2 Traditional Explanations for How God knows what it is Like to Lose a Son (both of which I reject)
  3. 2 Ways God Knows What it is like to Experience the Death of a Child
  4. Why did Jesus say, “My God, My God, Why have You forsaken Me?”

So in this post, I will look at two ways that God does indeed know what it is like to experience the death of a child, and in fact, knows better than we do what it is like.

God Knows What it is Like to Experience the Death of a Child

I believe that God does know what it is like to experience the death of a child. In fact, I believe that God knows better than anyone else what it is like to lose a child.

We can see this in at least two ways.

1. When Jesus Became Sin, God’s Eternal Relationship with Jesus was Shattered

God did not experience the death of a child the same way that humans do. When Jesus died on the cross, it is true that God did not experience His death the same way that human parents experience the death of their son or daughter. But this does not mean that there was no loss on the part of God, that there was no pain, that there was no suffering.

death of a childQuite to the contrary, it could be argued that in the death of Jesus, God experienced greater loss, greater pain, and greater suffering than do human parents.

2 Corinthians 5:21 says that on the cross, Jesus became sin for us. He took our sin upon Himself. While it is nearly impossible to understand exactly how this happened or what occurred, we can know that whatever it means, it would have caused excruciating anguish and torment for both God the Father and God the Son. We have lived with sin our entire lives. We have become accustomed to it. We cannot imagine an existence without sin.

But God is holy, righteous, and good. He is love and light. What then must it mean for Him to knew no sin to become sin for us? What must it have been like for God to see the holiness of His one and only son get exchanged (or covered, or extinguished, or whatever verb best fits with your theology of the atonement) with the totality of all sin ever committed by every human in the history of the world? We humans cannot imagine the suffering and the torment that this must have caused.

Worse yet, the sin that Jesus bore caused a rift to open in His relationship with God the Father. The sin caused a separation. This is why Jesus cried out from the cross, “My God, My God, Why have you forsaken me?” This is the cry of God the Son experiencing for the first time in eternity a separation from God the Father. The suffering and sacrifice was so great, that it shattered the eternal relationship between God the Father and God the Son. This also is something we humans cannot imagine. We are pained when separated from our loved ones whom we have known for several years, or several decades. But God the Father and God the Son have existed eternally in relationship with one another. Sin caused them to be separated.

And while both God the Father and Jesus the Son knew that Jesus would rise again, there was a pain in their separation that can never be matched by the most painful loss which any human being can experience.

Look at it this way: Though plants are “alive” (in some sense), they do not experience pain or loss when one of their “baby” plants die. Up the creation spectrum a little bit, we have animals. Many animals parents (though not all) do experience pain or loss when one of their children dies. But going up the creation spectrum to the top, it seems that humans experience the greatest pain and suffering when we are separated from our children by death.

But God is infinitely “higher” than humans in every way, and therefore, must experience an infinitely greater loss at the pain, suffering, and loss of His Son, even though He knew He would be reunited with His son shortly. The knowledge of the resurrection did not dissipate the pain and suffering that God experienced when Jesus bore the sin of the world into death.

Again, think about the situation as a parent. Let us say that you knew your child was going to die, and that your child would rise again from the dead in three days. But before your child died, they would have to experience the most excruciating and painful torment ever imaginable. Would their pain and death be any easier for you to handle, even knowing that they would rise again in three days? No, I do not think so.

How much more so for God? Though the situation was a bit different when God lost His son than when parents lose their children, it can be argued that God knows the pain of suffering and the torment of a lost loved one in deeper ways and with greater agony than do human parents. God does know the pain of losing a child. Since death is the antithesis and complete opposite of everything that is “God” for Jesus to die would be the greatest and more terrible experience of the death of a child, especially when the child is the Son of God.

But there is another way that God has experienced the death of a child.

2. Every Person is One of God’s Children

We sometimes seem to forget that every single person is (in some sense) one of God’s children. Even those who rebel against God and who never return to Him are viewed by Him as His lost and wayward children. He looks after each and every person on earth throughout history. He looks earnestly down the road every day, hoping that his wayward children will return to Him.

And when each and every person dies, whether young or old, God suffers through their death. Death, remember, was not God’s plan or desire for the world. When any person dies, it wrenches the heart of God. Death torments God day and night.

When we suffer over the loss of our loved ones, God suffers with us.

When we cry out in pain over the death of a child, God cries with us.

When we scream until we have no voice and sob until we have no tears, God continues to scream with a voice that never cracks and sob with eyes that never run dry.

When you suffer over the death of a child, a parent, a spouse, a sibling, a friend, or any loved one, know that God suffers also. However much you suffer over the loss of your loved ones, God suffers more. He knows what it is like to experience the death of a child, because all people are his sons and daughters. He “gave birth” to us. He brought us forth. He cared for us. Tended us. Brought us up. Planned for our future. Laughed and danced and sang with us.

death of a childAnd when death strikes, God is there, grieving and mourning over the death of yet another child.

God knows what it is like to lose a child, not just because of Jesus, but because He experiences the pain of death whenever any person dies.

I think that more than anything, when a person is going through intense pain and suffering and they cry out to God in anger, despair, or frustration, while they do not really want theological answers or Scripture quotations, one thing they do want is to know that God is with them in their pain and suffering, and that He is suffering right along with them.

This idea that God suffers when we suffer is one way to encourage people to see the love and care of God in our lives, even when we experience the death of a child or face any other type of pain in life.

The cross of Jesus is CENTRAL to everything!

Transform your life and theology by focusing on the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus:

Fill out the form below to receive several emails from me about the death and resurrection of Jesus.

(Note: If you are a member of RedeemingGod.com, login and then revisit this page to update your membership.)

Does God Know What it is Like to Lose a Son?

6 Comments

A reader recently sent in the following questions about the death of Jesus as the Son of God and how it affected God the Father. Specifically, they wanted to know if God knew what it was like to lose a son. Here is the question:

I am a believer, but I am troubled by an atheist’s questions. I was talking to an atheist the other day, and he said that God doesn’t know what it’s like to lose a son because he knew all along that Jesus would rise in three days, so he only lost him for the weekend! He also questioned that if God is Jesus, why did he beg to be saved from the cross when he was in the garden? Also, shouldn’t Jesus already have known he would rise again in three days? Why did he ask God, “Why have you forsaken me?” Wouldn’t he know that he’s only going to be dead three days?

I began to answer these questions in a post about the existence of God by looking at the basic approach I use when answering questions from atheists (or anyone with whom I disagree about anything). Actually answering the questions (or attempting to do so) will require several posts. Here is the order I will answer these questions:

  1. How to Answer Questions of Atheists
  2. 2 Traditional Explanations for How God knows what it is Like to Lose a Son (both of which I reject)
  3. 2 Ways God Knows What it is like to lose a Son
  4. Why did Jesus say, “My God, My God, Why have You forsaken Me?”

So in this post, I will look at two traditional explanations for how God knows what it is like to lose a son, and I will also explain why I reject both explanations (which might also be why atheists and other people reject these explanations as well).

Does God Know What it is Like to Lose a Son? (Traditional Answers)

lose a sonSometimes this question is asked this way: “How could God know what it is like to lose a son if He knew Jesus was just going to rise from the dead three days later?” Or “How could the death of Jesus be a sacrifice for God if God knew that Jesus was just going to rise again from the dead?”

These are all very good questions, which are not so easily answered! Nevertheless, there are two popular answers I have heard which attempt to explain how God knows what it is like to lose a son.

1. Christians Know Their Children Will Rise Too

It is sometimes suggested that God knew Jesus would rise from the dead just as all Christian parents know that their dead children will rise from the dead.

This, I believe, is a weak answer.

God knew with absolute certainty that the death of Jesus would end in the resurrection of Jesus; but not all parents have this same certainty. Not even all Christian parents have this certainty.

Furthermore, even when parents know they will be reunited with lost loved ones in the future, Jesus was only in the grave for three days, while parents who lose a son or daughter have to wait the rest of their life.

While nobody wants to lose a son or daughter (or any family member for that matter), the pain of it would be significantly lessened, it seems, if we knew that we would receive our lost loved ones back within three days, and they would be fully healthy and whole and would never suffer or die again.

So when viewed from this perspective, the claim that God knows what it is like to lose a son seems rather hollow, does it not?

2. God lives in an Eternal Now

The second way some people try to explain how God knows what it is like to lose a son is through the view that God exists outside of time, that God is timeless. If this is true, rather than experiencing a sequence of events (as we do), God experiences all events as an eternal now. It is argued then, that the crushing, heart-wrenching pain of watching a child die, and the sense of deep loss that lingers afterwards for days, months, and even years in the hearts of parents, is the pain that God experiences for an eternity over the death of His Son.

lose a childThough I was taught in Bible college and Seminary that God is timeless, that He exists outside of time in a constant, eternal now, I don’t believe it. There are numerous reasons why, which I won’t get into here. I believe that God is relational and is capable of reacting to our needs and prayers in a way that would not be possible if He were outside of time.

But even if this view is true, it still doesn’t allow God to experience what it is like to lose a son. For even if He eternally experiences the crushing sorrow of losing a child, He also eternally experiences the joy of being with His Son for eternity, and the even more thrilling experience of His Son rising from the dead. Neither of these eternal experiences can be shared by humans, and so even in this view, God does not know what it is like to lose a son in the same way that humans do.

So where do we go from here?

In a future post, I will look at the two reasons I think God does know what it is like to lose a son, and in so doing, will see that God may actually know better than we what it is like. Interested to hear more? Check back tomorrow. (Edit: The links are listed above).

What do you think of the two explanations above? Are you aware of any other explanations that Christians sometimes give for whether or not God knows what it is like to lose a son? Weigh in by sharing below!

The cross of Jesus is CENTRAL to everything!

Transform your life and theology by focusing on the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus:

Fill out the form below to receive several emails from me about the death and resurrection of Jesus.

(Note: If you are a member of RedeemingGod.com, login and then revisit this page to update your membership.)

How to Answer Questions from Atheists

4 Comments

A reader recently sent in an email about some questions from atheists that they had encountered. Here is the email that was sent in:

I am a believer, but I am troubled by an atheist’s questions. I was talking to an atheist the other day, and he said that God doesn’t know what it’s like to lose a son because he knew all along that Jesus would rise in three days, so he only lost him for the weekend! He also questioned that if God is Jesus, why did he beg to be saved from the cross when he was in the garden? Also, shouldn’t Jesus already have known he would rise again in three days? Why did he ask God, “Why have you forsaken me?” Wouldn’t he know that he’s only going to be dead three days?

Whew! This is a multitude of very tough questions! I initially tried to answer them in one blog post, but it soon grew to over 5000 words (I seem to have a problem with that), and so I decided to break up my answer into several posts.

So here is the order I will answer these questions:

  1. How to Answer Questions from Atheists (This post)
  2. 2 Traditional Explanations for How God knows what it is like to Lose a Son (both of which I reject)
  3. 2 Ways God Knows What it is like to lose a Son
  4. Why did Jesus say, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?”

questions from atheists

To begin with, let me offer some praise and encouragement for taking the time to discuss such matters with atheists. I hope that all of us feel comfortable having conversations with people who disagree with us, and when there are disagreements, that the conversation can continue in a way that is full of love and grace, and does not end with heated tempers and angry words.

In fact, this post is not just when talking to atheists, but to anyone with whom you disagree about anything. It might be politics, parenting styles, personality differences, or theology. The goal in every conversation is to listen to what the other person is saying, grow in love and understanding with them, help them know that they are valued, and win another conversation. Notice I didn’t say win the argument, prove your point, or convince the other person they are wrong. If you win the argument but the person never wants to talk to you again, you have ultimately lost.

This is true when dealing with questions from atheists as well.

So here are a few practical suggestions on how to answer questions from atheists (or whomever).

1. Usually, people ask questions because they want to know the truth

While people sometimes ask questions simply to trip you up or confuse you, most people ask questions because they want to know the truth. Or at least, they want to know what you believe about a particular topic.

questions from atheistsAtheists often get a bad rap among Christians, but in my experience, many atheists are atheists simply because they have the courage to ask questions many Christians are afraid to ask, and when Christians hear these questions from atheists, the Christians either condemn the atheist for asking such questions, or gives some answer that is not really an answer at all.

In other words, some people become atheists because they stop to ask the hard questions about God, Scripture, life, and Jesus Christ, while many Christians are too afraid of these hard questions, and run away from them whenever and wherever they surface.

My conviction is that truth can stand up to all questions. If what we believe is true, there is no question we need to fear.

So if what we believe is true, we do not need to fear any question or challenge.

2. If you don’t know the answer, say so!

While there may be an answer to every question, this is not the same thing as knowing the answer to every question. 

So when questions come up with you cannot answer (and they will!), rather than accuse the person of questioning God, or rather than get angry and storm off in a huff, or rather than tell them to just go read the Bible, the best way to respond is to say these magic words:

That’s a GREAT question. I don’t know the answer. Let me look into it and get back to you.

Remember, the number one goal of any conversation with any person is not to win the debate or argument, but to win another conversation. The simple statement above affirms the person who asked the question and invites them to continue discussing these matters with you. This statement praises them for thinking things through so carefully, tells them that it is safe to voice their doubts and fears, and indicates that you are willing to learn along with them.

However, everything I have said above gets thrown out the window in one certain circumstance. This is the third thing to remember when trying to answer questions from atheists or anybody else.

3. When a person is in pain, they are not really looking for answers.

I do not know the context of the conversation that was held between the person who sent in the email above and the atheists who asked the questions.

I do know, however, that I have heard these sorts of questions before, and often they are asked in the context of great pain. Most often, they are asked because a parent has just lost a son or daughter, and a Christian comes along trying to console the parent by saying, “God understands what you are going through. After all, He also knows what it is like to lose a son.”

Most people are too polite (even in their pain) to object to such a statement, but some people will respond negatively.

questions from atheists

Some people will ask questions like the ones above. “What do you mean God knows what it is like to lose a son? He knew the death of his son was coming. I didn’t! He knew his son would rise again. I don’t! He knew his son would only be gone for three days. Mine is gone forever! They had eternity together before God lost a son, and eternity together afterwards. I have neither of those things! What does God know about losing a child? Nothing!”

I do believe there are answers to such questions, but I have learned that when a person is suffering or in pain, this is not the best time for theological debates and discussions. When a person is in pain, this is not the time for Christian platitudes and cliches. When people are suffering and in pain, the best thing to do is just to be with them, love them, serve them, and keep your mouth shut.

This is even true when people ask questions about God. When people cry out, “Why is God doing this to me?” they really don’t want you to attempt an answer. People in pain and suffering don’t need lessons in theology. They don’t need Scripture quotations. What they need is sympathy, compassion, love, and the reassurance that while we do not know why certain things happen, God is not angry, is not punishing them, and God is not out to destroy their life or that of their family members. It is the thief who comes to steal, kill, and destroy; not God.

I often think that Job’s friends did a great job comforting Job, all the way up until one of them opened his mouth. Once they started trying to explain Job’s pain, that is when they became miserable comforters.

So when people ask, “Why me?” they don’t want you to answer. They just want you to be with them in their pain. If you answer at all, the most you can say is, “I don’t know.”  This is also the most honest and truthful thing to say, because you don’t know why bad things happen in this world.

Whenever you are dealing with questions from atheists, consider the context of the questions, and remember that whether you know the answer or not, your primary goals are to respect them as people, value them as human beings, be with them in their pain, and love and serve them in ways that win you the chance for another conversation.

Having said all this, the next post will begin to offer some possible answers to the questions from atheists that were stated above.

Until then, what suggestions can you offer about how to handle difficult questions from people with whom you may disagree?

Get to Know your Neighbors Through Their Plumbing

9 Comments

If you want to love your neighbors like Jesus, it often doesn’t take great acts of kindness or huge sacrifices on your part, but simply being open to seeing what their needs are, and willing to help out when and where you can.

Loving People

I ran across a great statement in Kathy Escobar’s blog post “Dreamers, lovers, and status-quo rockers”:

I’d say that the most defining part of my faith–the center of what I believe–is the love of people & redemptive community. The way I connect with God is through relationship with people.

Even though Kathy’s statement does not describe our “agenda,” it describes our experience. We love people because we are followers of Jesus, but have discovered that in the loving we are connecting with God!

How does this happen? Perhaps some current real-life examples with some of our neighbors will help explain.

Plumber Needed

plumbers neededOn the 4th of July, the morning after the block party, our phone rang not long after we got up. Our neighbor, a single woman, told us that her kitchen drains had backed up and her plumber wasn’t available on the holiday. She asked if I could look at the problem.

Half an hour later, I had determined that there was a blockage inside the wall. I needed a plumber’s snake and a plumbing fitting to fix the problem. One neighbor loaned me a snake, and another neighbor found the necessary fitting in his box of plumbing supplies. Three neighbors cooperated to provide tools, supplies, and labor to help a fourth neighbor!

Later that afternoon the woman whose drains now worked phoned us once again to thank us and to tell us about her conversation with her mother, an elderly lady who lives alone, about forty minutes from us. Our neighbor had told her mother about the block party, her neighbors and the cooperation of her neighbors in getting her drains unstopped that morning. Her mother told her that she (the mother) would like to have neighbors like that who she could call if she got in trouble (She has concerns about living alone).

Remodeler Extraordinaire

The following day, another neighbor, with whom we had become better acquainted while talking with him about the block party, saw us walking and invited us to see what he had done with his house. I owned one contracting business and managed another and am not easily impressed with remodels, but I was very impressed with his. He has made an extraordinary number of improvements to his home, many one-of-a-kind modifications. Without a doubt he is a borderline genius.

As we walked through his house, he told us his story, his achievements and some of the difficulties he has faced. He told us his dreams, dreams for his future, including business dreams. When we hear someone’s story we see the hand of God, where God has been working in their life and glimpses of His plan for their future.

Real Life with Real People

These stories may not be the dramatic stuff of famous books or sermons, but are the simple, yet beautiful stories of real life with people we know: our neighbors. They are stories of where we see God, in people we know, in our neighbors, in our neighborhood.

We have discovered that we connect with God when we connect with the people who cross our paths in the course of everyday life.

Do you have stories of experiencing connecting with God when you connected and formed relationships with other people? Share any that you might have in the comment section below!

Do you want to share Jesus with your neighbors?

There's more to it than inviting them to church...

Fill out the form below to receive several emails about how to get to know your neighbors and love them like Jesus.

(Note: If you are a member of RedeemingGod.com, login and then revisit this page to update your membership.)

If you go out to eat after church…TIP!

23 Comments

My wife and I used to wait tables. Our favorite customers were a certain biker gang. They came in every few weeks. They had long scraggly beards, wore leather, and were covered in tattoos. Following the stereotype, they ate a lot of food and drank a lot of beer, laughed, smiled, joked, and had a good time. But they were always respectful to the staff and servers, and they tipped well. Everybody was jealous when this biker gang got sat in some other server’s section.

Our least favorite customers were Christians. Especially the ones carrying their Bibles and wearing Christians t-shirts. When we saw people wearing a Christian t-shirt or praying over their meal, we servers would often try to give the table to someone else. Why? In general, they were among our worst customers. They were often rude, demeaning, condescending, arrogant, impatient, picky about their food, and to top it off, the worst tippers ever.

Obviously, not all Christians are bad customers or terrible tippers. My wife’s parents, for example, always gave good tips and were great customers. I am sure there were others as well. But in general, the more blatant a person was about their Christianity, the less likely they were to be a good customer.

Quite often, instead of a tip, people who wore Christian t-shirts and asked their servers for “prayer requests” would then leave a gospel tract or one of those fake “$1,000,000” bills with the gospel on the back instead of any sort of tip. Sometimes they would write a note on their bill saying, “The information on this pamphlet is more important than any amount of money. I hope you read it. I’m praying for you!”

So I smiled sadly the other day when I saw this image:

Christians are bad tippers

Yep, that’s about right… The pastor refuses to leave any sort of tip for the waiter. This pastor is a bad tipper and a bad witness.

Look, if you are going to pray over your meal at a restaurant, wear a Christian t-shirt, carry your Bible, or take up a table for two hours while you have a Bible study during the busiest hours at the restaurant… do Christians everywhere a favor and tip generously. And by generous, I don’t mean 10%. If you are going to do any of these religious things in a restaurant, give at least 20%. Be memorable, not for how little you give, but for how much. Have the servers wanting you to sit in their section, not begging for some other serer to take your table.

And hey, if you don’t want to give 20% (or more), that’s fine! Just don’t wear the t-shirt, carry the Bible, pray over your meal, leave a gospel tract, or do anything else “Christian” at the restaurant. At least then you are not harming the name of Christ by being rude and cheap.

7 Reasons I Switched to the Genesis Framework by StudioPress

23 Comments

You may have noticed that my website looks a little different recently. Here is why: I switched my blog theme to the Genesis Framework by StudioPress. This is a decision I have been weighing for over a year, and now that I have made the switch, I could not be happier. The recent release of Genesis 2.0 is what convinced me.

Genesis Framework

You might say, “Wait, I thought this was a WordPress blog…” It is. WordPress is the engine that runs this blog, but to actually make a blog readable, you need more than just WordPress. At the bare minimum, you also need a Theme, and for the smoothest running blogs, a framework as well. Confused yet?

Think of it this way:

Genesis Framework Get Started with StudioPress

(I pulled this graphic from the StudioPress website)

The previous framework and theme I was using was quite good. It was well-coded, easily customizable, and mobile responsive (meaning it changed to fit the screen width of tablet computers and smartphones). The reason I was becoming dissatisfied with the previous theme is that the designers cancelled the affiliate program for the theme (which is one of the primary reasons I bought it in the first place), and seemed to be more focused on being “cool” than on much of anything else. Also, their customer service–though excellent–was becoming increasingly snarky.

(UPDATE: After writing this post, I learned that my previous theme company is closing shop and shutting down their customer support service. So now I am EXTRA glad I made the switch to StudioPress and the Genesis Framework.)

So I switched to the Genesis Framework.

Here are seven reasons why.

1. Mobile Responsive

More and more people are reading blog and accessing websites using tablet computers and smartphones. For this reason, Google recommends a mobile responsive website. Being mobile responsive means that your website adjusts to these various screen sizes of smartphones and tablet computers. Sound difficult? The Genesis Framework has this ability built right in.

To see how this works if you are reading this post on a computer, just resize the window. Drag the right hand side of your web browser window in toward the left hand side, and watch the website adjust accordingly. Pretty cool, right?

Most people don’t resize their window this way as they are using a blog, but what it shows is that this blog can be easily read on a variety of screen sizes. If you have an iPad or a smartphone, load up this site on one of those, and see how it looks different than what is loaded on your screen. This is because my site is Mobile responsive, thanks to the Genesis Framework

2. Numerous High Quality Themes to Choose From

The second reason I switched to the Genesis Framework is that it has quite a few high quality Themes which all run on the Genesis Framework. If you look at that graphic above, the Theme is like the paint job on the frame of a car. The Genesis Framework has numerous “paint jobs” to choose from. To see what I mean, just head over to the StudioPress website and click on the “Themes” button.

You might wonder which theme I am using here…. well… I really liked the design from my previous website, so I pretty much created my own Theme so that it matched what I had before. I might switch it up in the future, but for now, I am going to stick with this.

3. FAST Loading Times

Whether you know it or not, how fast a website downloads is critical these days. A lot of my traffic to this site comes from Google searches, and one of the ranking factors Google uses to determine which search results to show on their pages is how fast the site loads. My site loads decently fast, but simply by switching over to the Genesis Framework, I shaved almost a full second off my load time! That’s amazing!

With my previous framework and theme, I was loading in about 3 seconds. Here is the report from Pingdom.com which shows the load time:

Speed Test Before

Here is a load time with the new Genesis Theme framework:

Speed Test After

Can you believe that? I cut my download time in half simply by switching to the Genesis Framework! Notice as well that my Page Size is less and my Performance Grade is higher!

For these two tests, I didn’t change anything except the framework. I used all the same plugins, settings, and images. The Genesis Framework just simply loads faster.

There are several things I am going to tweak over the coming months that will probably get the site to load even faster, but I am thrilled to shave 1.5 seconds off my time simply by switching to the Genesis Framework.

4. HTML5 Ready

I told you earlier that the release of Genesis 2.0 is what convinced me to switch Frameworks. One of the things that I like about Genesis 2.0 is that it is HTML5 ready. Most websites are built upon HTML4, which is pretty good, but HTML5 has a lot of really cool features built in. It has new elements, full CSS3 support, increased ability for vidoe and audio embedding, 2D/3D graphics, and lots more!

If all this is coding gobblygook to you, don’t worry about it. But here’s the thing: Eventually, HTML5 will be the standard for all websites. It only makes sense to begin preparing for it now by using a Framework like Genesis 2.0 that is HTML5 ready.

5. Microdata markup

Again, having microdata markup on your website is something that may not mean anything to you, but is critical for how websites function “behind the scenes” and what allows potential readers to find your website and blog on search engines like Google and Bing. I won’t bore you with the details of what this is, but suffice it to say that microdata markup from Schema.org is one way of labeling the various parts of your website and blog so that search engines know what is what. Keeping search engines happy is one of the primary keys to getting traffic from Google and Bing, and they LOVE having the various parts of your blog marked up with Schema.org markup. In fact, many believe that Schema.org markup will become one of the primary ranking factors in the future of search engine results.

Proper markup is one of the things that helps your website pages appear properly in search results. For example, when you search for “Matthew 12:31-32,” my page on the unforgivable sin often comes up.

Rich Snippets Testing Tool

Though there are many reasons for this, one of them is the Schema.org markup I am using on all my blog pages and posts. If you want to to test some of your own websites, use this markup validator tool.

This element is so important, I spent hours building it into the Framework I used to use, but Genesis 2.0 has it built right in! A HUGE time saver! This again is something that convinced me to make the switch.

6. Great Affiliate Program

One other reason I made the switch is because the good people at StudioPress have an affiliate program.

Yes, the Genesis Framework costs some money. The Framework all by itself is about $60. If you add a Theme to this, you are looking at around $80 or so. This is still less than the $99 I paid for my previous Framework, but here’s the thing… if you use a Framework that has an affiliate program, you can make the money you spent on the Framework back! If just three people make a purchase based off your recommendation, you have made all your money back, and then if anyone else buys it after that, you get money to pay your web hosting fees for the year, or dinner with your spouse, or a couple of books from Amazon, or… well, you get the picture.

If you are a blogger like me, you are probably not in it for the money. You simply want to write about some ideas that are bouncing around in your head. A nice benefit is if people read what you write. But for the best chance of people reading what you write, you need a decent web host (which costs money), and a decent web design (which often costs money). So it’s always nice when one or both of those have “affiliate programs” which you can use to regain some of those expenses (In case you are wondering, I use Hostgator for my webhosting. They also have an affiliate program. They also always run different coupons and deals, so you can always pick up a good, inexpensive server for yourself.

I was happy with the the affiliate program from the previous Framework I was using. I spent $99 on the Framework, and referred three affiliate sales (which earned my cost back), and then they shut down the affiliate program…

So I am glad to now be running one of the leading frameworks in the industry on this blog, and better still, to be part of their affiliate program. If you are looking for a Premium web theme, I highly recommend the Genesis Framework for the reasons stated above.

If you are thinking of buying it, please consider using one of the Genesis links above (or this one right here: Get Genesis 2.0) as I will then get credit for the referral. Thanks!

7.  FREE Support and FREE Updates FOR LIFE

There are lots of themes out there that charge for support, or charge you to update your blog to the newest version, or charge you an annual “membership fee.”

You won’t get any of these games with the Genesis Framework. Once you buy it, you are good for life.

That’s right. You get unlimited support FOREVER. If you have questions, just get onto their support forum or submit a ticket, and they will help you out! Hey, I will even help you out if I can.

You also get FREE updates FOREVER. When they come out with Genesis 3.0, 4.0, 5,0, or 100.0, you get to upgrade, FOR FREE.

Oh, and if  you have more than one website (like I do), you can use the Genesis Framework on ALL of your sites without paying any extra! None of my other websites are using the Genesis Framework yet, but I will slowly begin migrating them during the next few months.

So if you are looking for a quality theme to run your blog, I am not exaggerating when I say that the  Genesis Framework is the best.

In the comments below, feel free to write what you think about the Genesis Framework, or answer some of these questions: 

  1. If you have a blog, what is it? (Promote yourself! Go ahead!)
  2. If you have a blog, do you use a Premium Theme? Why or why not?
  3. If you do not have a blog, are you thinking about starting one? (If so, consider using my FREE Blog Setup Service)

What to Say when You Stop Attending Church

46 Comments

stop attending churchAre you one of the millions of people who have stopped “attending church” so that you can better follow Jesus into the world?

If so, you have probably noticed two things: First, you have rediscovered joy and excitement in your relationship with God and your life with Jesus. Each new day brings an expectation for what God will teach you that day, where Jesus will take you, and how you can show the love of God to people you interact with that day.

The second thing you have probably noticed, however, is that once you stopped attending church to start following Jesus outside the four walls of the church building, many of your church-attending friends and family think that you have abandoned Christ, have rejected the faith, and are falling away from God. Many do not understand how anyone can follow Jesus without attending church on Sunday morning.

This second experience can be quite frustrating. You have never felt closer to God, have never seen God more at work in your life, have never felt more freedom and joy in your interaction with neighbors and coworkers who need to see the love of Jesus, are seeing many answers to prayer, have a renewed interest and insight into Scripture, and are seeing God do amazing things in your life,  and yet…. your church-going friends and family say that you are sinning by not sitting in a pew on Sunday morning to sing some songs and listen to a sermon.

I know that many of the readers of this blog have had this experience, and would love for you to share your stories in the comments below, with a special focus on how you have learned to respond with love, grace, and truth. 

Below is one such response that a reader of this blog recently sent to me after it was sent to a member of her family who is concerned about her spiritual well-being since she has stopped attending church. This letter shows some of the frustration she feels at being judged for no longer attending church, but at the same time, reveals the love and joy that she experiences as a result of following Jesus into the world. I asked if I could share it, and was given permission. Some names and personal details have been removed.

I am sorry that it seems that I get angry at Christians. I want to tell you that I truly do not feel any hatred or anger toward them at all. I understand that going to church is the path they are on and it is a good one for them and that is great. I harbor no ill feelings toward them for their decision to include attending church as part of their life of following Jesus. I know that given the right circumstances going to “church” can be a good thing for many and I am glad those people have it. I would even tell someone that if they feel they need, to go ahead and attend a “church” group.

I want you to know that the anger that you sense I have for Christians is not toward you. I get frustrated when I feel like I must defend my life to my family. Though everyone else in my family attends church, I don’t ask you to defend that decision to me, and I am just asking for the same courtesy and respect. Perhaps I am misunderstanding you and it is not a defense that you are asking for. If that is the case I am sorry I got upset. I will try to see that you don’t want me to explain my life next time we talk. I think that anyone would get upset as I do if they felt that they were constantly having to defend their life to their loved ones. So if that is not what you are wanting me to do than I apologize for misunderstanding, and I will try to not do that anymore.

But if that is the case than I want to suggest something.

Please don’t let your heart ache for me. There have been many years in my life in which aching for me would have been appreciated. The last several years have certainly been hard as I have experienced the loss of friends, marriage struggles, depression, financial trouble, and so on. But I cannot tell you how incredibly blessed I feel right now. In the last year, God has given me three amazing friends, and my children have new friends as well.  We have activities that are encouraging growth and skills, many of which help us grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  We have a house over our head. We planted a garden and grew many things successfully. I get to stay home and school our children and they are doing well. We are all healthy. We are going camping again after a long time without it.  Although I must fight monthly for my marriage, it seems to be getting better (all marriages need fighting for).  We have a security that I have never had ever in my marriage. ALL THESE BLESSINGS ARE FROM GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He is so a part of our lives i can’t imagine life without Him, it just wouldn’t exist. We prayed for all these things and in one way or another He has blessed us. It may not always look like we wanted it to look but if we try to find Him in our day it is not hard work, He is most certainly there. Sometimes He even gives us the grace to find him in the trials and hurts even while we are in them.

There certainly were plenty of times for your heart to ache for me, but honestly those were the times that I was attending church. The times I was lonely and ridiculed, with no friends at all. The times I was hurt because my husband was doing things that hurt me deeply and separated me from him. The times I was suffering depression with no one around to tell me it was OK or to help me. I could go on and on…

But now, I am more joyful than I have ever been, freer than I ever thought possible, looking for more ways to show Christ to the world than ever before. I am so thankful, I can’t get through a day without rejoicing. God has done that. God has given that to me. I know it won’t last forever.I know trials will come again and I hope that I can reflect on this time of joy to get through them, knowing He is there just as He is now.

I know also that this path is not for everyone. I know that. But this is the path for us. This way of living has set us free to be who God wants us to be, instead of some predetermined person with predetermined gifts to offer not because we want to but because it is expected of us. I feel more free to praise God now than ever before, because when I do, people don’t think I am just trying to get them to “come to church.”  I finally am free to live my life the way I feel God intended ME to. Not everyone will be called to this way of following Jesus. Just as not everyone will be called to be single, or any other [fill in the blank] way of living. I have found my purpose for the life God has given me, and after struggling to find it for 37 years, I am glad to have it, and I guess I get a bit passionate about defending it. I know I don’t fit in the nice neat Christian box, but then, I never fit in any box nice and neatly, did I?

I would love it if you could just embrace the fact that after many years of “wandering” I feel like I have found myself and my role in God’s tapestry. Many of the things God has led me to in the last year have helped me discover who I am supposed to be. Some of these new friends, though they also do not “attend church” have helped changed my dream. I no longer feel called overseas to work in orphanages after my children grow up. I now feel called in a real big way to help the girls in America that have been sexually abused. I want to start a horse ranch for them where they can work, feel safe, learn, grow, and heal. For the first time in my life, I have a dream that I feel is attainable. I feel like I have a dream that matches me like a glove. I am so content and joyful and thankful right now that I honestly ache that you cannot see it.

I am glad that you care so much for me, I really do. But please set your heart at rest knowing that finally I feel like I have found what God has wanted to show me for years. All those times I didn’t fit in the boxes I was in, whether it be school, girl, church, sorority, athlete, etc. God was trying to tell me, “Hey, it’s OK. I never intended you to be those things.” I love the fact that I am finally OK with not fitting in. I am more than OK; I am thankful for it. That is God’s doing and I will praise Him for it, and try to follow Him into the next chapter of my life.

I love you so much, and I hope this helps you to understand that I am not angry. I am passionate about what God is doing in my life and it hurts when my loved ones don’t understand it. Please be happy for me.

stop attending churchIf you are one of the millions of people who are no longer attending church but who nevertheless have a vibrant and growing relationship with Jesus and have seen your relationships with other people grow in amazing ways, please share your experience below.

If you would like, also share some tips and suggestions for how to respond to church-going friends and family who think that you have fallen away from the faith because you are no longer “attending church.”

Advertise or Donate

Search (and you Shall Find)

Get Books by Jeremy Myers

Books by Jeremy Myers

Schedule Jeremy for an interview

Click here to Contact Me!